The Return of Ryan
by Jasmineisland
Summary: Ryan Chamberlain is back in Port Charles and ready for revenge. Kevin is his target, and Lucy is his victim.
1. Default Chapter

The phone rang, waking Lucy. She grabbed it and whispered into it. "Hello?"

"Lucy?"

"Kevin?"

"I... I was thinking about you, and I was wondering how you were."

Something about his voice was wrong. Like he was upset. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I was thinking about you. I haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been busy. The Serena line has my undivided attention right now. Plus, DV is really getting on my last nerve. I'm not sure what to do about him." She stopped, not knowing what else to say.

"Do... you... do you think we could have lunch?"

Something was definitely wrong with him. If he was asking to see her......... "Okay. The Grille?"

"No.......... How about that little diner right off the highway?"

That little diner was really nothing more than a truck stop. "Kevin, what's wrong?"

"I said nothing." His voice took on an edge, then he paused, and when he continued, he sounded calmer. "I just wanted to see you. That's all. But I don't want to cause either of us problems."

That told her that he didn't want anyone to see them. "Okay. I'll meet you. Noon?"

"Thank you. I'll see you then." He hung up.

He'd sounded so strange, Lucy was too worried about him to really think about what he was asking her. She'd planned to go to Jax, but it could wait until after she found out what was wrong with him.

The diner was packed, but the clientele was truck drivers and tourists looking for a break from their travels. Scanning the crowd, Lucy saw no one she recognized until she saw Kevin sitting alone at a booth against the wall. He was wearing jeans, a black collard shirt, and looked nervous.

Sitting down across from him, she looked at him. "What's wrong? Don't tell me nothing. You wouldn't call be out of the blue and ask me to meet you all the way out here if there wasn't something wrong."

He looked like he didn't know where to begin. "I've been thinking about you. A lot. It's like I can't get you out of my mind."

"What about me?"

"You. Everything about you. I'm beginning to think......." He paused.

"What?" Her confusion showed on her face.

"I'm beginning to wonder....... what if........ I don't know if you really want to hear this."

"Kevin, I can't tell you if I don't know what it is we're talking about."

Slamming down his coffee cup, he stared at her. "I'm beginning to wonder if I made a mistake walking away from you."

For maybe only the tenth time in her life, Lucy was completely speechless.

Kevin continued. "I don't know what you're doing with you life. I don't know if you're in love with Scott, or you still think about me. I'm taking a hell of a chance, here, but I had to tell you."

Lucy still couldn't speak. Shocked beyond words didn't begin to cover it.

"Can you at least tell me what you're thinking?"

Finally, she tried to tell him. "Why? Why now? Because life with Eve isn't all you thought it would be? Or because I finally have another chance to have a life? Is this really about us? Or is it about the fact that I finally got up off my knees and haven't begged, pleaded, or cried to you for a while?"

"This isn't about begging, Lucy." He was beginning to get agitated. "It's about regrets. Mistakes. Being an arrogant jerk who didn't know the best thing that ever happened to him and walked away from her."

"Kevin, I don't know what to say. Do I still love you? Probably. Had I given up on you? Definitely. Can I throw away what I've got now with Scott for a maybe with you? Hell, no. I don't understand this. What's changed?"

"Everything. You have no idea."

"So tell me."

"I can't explain it. Too much."

"Then it's too much for me. When you can tell me, call me again."

Standing, she walked outside. Just as she reached her car, Kevin caught up with her. Without a word, he grabbed her and kissed her.

At first she struggled, but he was insistent, and she finally returned his kiss. It was different than she remembered, but not unpleasantly so.

Stepping away from her, he leaned on the car. "Tell me you don't think about that."

"What's happened to you? You seem so....... different."

"I'm a different person than I was the day I left you. I know you've changed. Let me show you how much I have. Please see me again."

It was strange to hear him begging her for a change. "I don't know. I can't promise you. Call me later today at Jax." Getting in her car, she left him standing in the parking lot.

Watching her pull out of the parking lot, Ryan smiled to himself. She still loved Kevin, he was sure of that. He could get her. But he'd have to work fast. Sooner or later, she'd come in contact with Kevin, and the whole thing could blow up. That was part of the fun for him. The chance of getting caught. As long as Kevin avoided her, he was free to work on her. He smiled wider at the thought of what Kevin would do when he found out Lucy was with him, thinking her dear Kevin had finally come to his senses. He decided to see how far he could take Lucy until she figured out what was really going on. Ryan wasn't about to kid himself. Lucy should be able to tell the difference. But telling her he was a different person was more of the truth than she knew. The challenge was to distract her and keep her guessing until he was ready to make his presence known to his brother.

On the other hand, he had to figure out what he was going to do with her if she figured it out too soon. He couldn't have her blow the last six months he'd spent watching all of them.

Somewhere he could hold her until he was ready. Or just kill her, and send her body to Kevin. Maybe a piece at a time. He laughed at the thought of the look on Kevin's face. A long time ago he'd told Kevin that Lucy had 'a body that could make a man drop and beg for mercy, or more.' She still did. He was going to enjoy finding out for himself.

**Chapter 2  
**Ryan waited until Kevin and Eve left the lighthouse. He knew they would be gone several hours, so he had time. It wasn't hard to get in the French doors. All the watching was about to pay off. He'd been inside several times when it was empty, but this was the first time he was going in with a deliberate purpose. The fun was about to begin. It was so hard for him to control himself. But the payoff would be worth it. Hurting Kevin was his main objective, but it hurt Kevin more to go through the people he cared about. And it was so much more fun.

Grinning, he moved from room to room, stopping here and there to look at what Kevin called decorations. As far as Ryan was concerned, the decorations at the prison had been better. A few pictures of Victor, Eve, and paintings. He knew they were Kevin's paintings, and it took all he had not to tear them to pieces right then and there. When he reached the upstairs, he started to search in earnest. It wasn't that he knew exactly what he was looking for, but when he found it, he would know.

Kevin's dresser. Some keys, and a picture of Eve on it. Nothing of interest. He looked in the top drawer and smiled. "Here we go."

Inside the drawer, were numerous items that belonged to Kevin. Private things, that he probably had no intention of ever showing anyone. Ryan hummed to himself and didn't realize he was also speaking out loud.

"More pictures of Evie. The love of your life this year, huh, bro? Passport? No, too obvious, don't want to do that. Maybe just one of Evie." He slipped one of the photos out and put it in his pocket.

"Jewelry? What kind do you have?" Opening the small box, he whistled.

Wedding rings.

"Couldn't bear to part with them, huh? Well, let me help you." The rings were the ones Kevin had been supposed to exchange with Lucy. Her engagement ring and both bands were in the box.

"I bet Evie doesn't know you still have these. She'd blow a gasket." The thought made Ryan laugh. Putting all three rings in his pocket, he put the box back. Under the box were more pictures. These were of Lucy. Some of her, some of her and that kid, Serena. And a duck. "Yes, Kevin, you don't care about her. Why do you have more pictures of her than Evie next to your bed? Something to think about after the good doctor goes to sleep?" He took a few out of the stack where Lucy looked particularly sexual. "Hope you don't miss these. Or if you do, I hope you think Evie found them. That would be fun."

There was nothing else of interest to him in the drawer. He didn't want to move things around too much or take something Kevin would miss immediately. Well, maybe move a few things around. He thought about it. Not enough to alarm Kevin, just enough to make him wonder.

Grinning again, he went to the shelf where Kevin kept his CDs.

Alphabetically, by artist. That was Kevin. SO organized. Just for kicks, he switched a few. Kevin would notice, but he wouldn't think anything of it.

Tilt one of the pictures on the wall just a bit. Maybe even a knife in the fork slot in the kitchen drawers. The thought that Kevin would notice things this stupid amused him. How anal retentive could you be? It never ceased to amaze Ryan the he and Kevin were related. Chaos was great. Ryan thrived on chaos. Kevin wanted his life so orderly, the forks had to be in the right slot. Go figure.

It was time to leave. Before he got carried away, and gave up the game before it really got interesting.

**Chapter 3**

Lucy tried to keep her mind on the numbers in front of her. But her mind kept going back to her encounter with Kevin. Did he really regret what he'd done to her? Or did he just want to see if she'd come running if he snapped his fingers. 

She shook her head. Kevin wasn't one to play games. It wasn't that. Then what was it? She didn't notice the door opening.

"Hello? Earth to Lucy?" Scott snapped his fingers once. "You here?"

"Hi." Scott kissed her, and she felt a twinge of guilt at having kissed Kevin a few hours ago.

"What brings you here?"

Scott proceeded to tell her, but she didn't hear much of what he was saying. Her conscience told her to tell him she'd had lunch, well intended to have lunch with Kevin.

She knew she wouldn't tell him what Kevin had said, let alone done, so she didn't want to even start down that road.

Scott was telling her something to do with the Serena line, and the latest onslaught of DV's ugly publicity.

Scott realized she wasn't listening to a word he was saying. "So I told them to take their ray guns and get back to their own planet." No response. "Maybe we'll talk about this later. Care to tell me what you are thinking about?"

"I'm just preoccupied. Bad hair day."

Standing, Scott ran for the door. "I know what that means. I don't want to be in the line of fire. Your bad hair days make World War I look like a fist fight. I'm out of here." He kissed her once, quickly. "Luv ya, bye." And he was gone.

Lucy stared at the door. Scott really did love her. Or at least thought he did. He knew she wasn't really over Kevin, yet. But he'd still stood by her and let her know he was there, ready and waiting for the day she could commit to him. They both knew something was holding her back.

They both also knew it was Kevin. But until she knew exactly where Kevin was coming from, she wasn't sure he was the answer anymore.

The phone rang and she absently picked it up. "Lucy Coe."

"I know who you are. The question is, do you know who I am?"

"Kevin." She was completely stunned again.

"I just thought I'd call you. Have you thought about what I said earlier?"

"Nothing else." He knew she'd been thinking about it, so she might as well admit it.

"And?"

"And what? I still don't know where you're coming from."

"I'll be more than happy to tell you. Can we meet again, say tomorrow?"

"To be honest, I don't know. Where do I fit in your life? What about Eve? How long can you play this out?" Her heart pounded at the thought of seeing him, let alone kissing him again. But not enough to risk herself again. Yet. "How can I agree to anything when I have very little idea of what you're really after?"

Ryan was getting frustrated. The Lucy he remembered wasn't nearly this difficult for Kevin.

"How can I know what you're after? What if you're trying to set me up for payback? We're both taking a chance, here, Lucy. I'm willing to take it if you are."

It worked. She sighed. "Okay. Tomorrow. Where?"

"The same diner? Maybe this time we'll get to eat."

She knew he was still trying to hide their meetings. For the time being, it was okay with her.

"Fine. Noon again?"

"Noon it is. See you then." Ryan hung up, laughing to himself. Who could he cause trouble with next?

**Chapter 4**

**  
**Kevin was waiting for Eve to come downstairs to go to dinner. He knew he had a few minutes, and he decided to listen to some music. Eyeing his CD collection, he noticed a few out of place.

Eve must have been listening to them. Putting them back, he actually considered telling Eve to make sure she put them back where she found them. Then he shook his head. He knew what she would say. After she gave him that look she gave him whenever she thought he was doing something strange. This need to have everything in order was his problem, not hers. So he'd just put them back and not say a word about it.

Eve finally arrived, and she put her arms around him. "Where are we going?"

"I was thinking about the Outback. It's been a while since I've been there."

"Sounds good to me." She kissed him.

When they arrived at the Outback, Eve was not thrilled to see Lucy sitting by herself at the bar.

Lucy had gone there to see Felicia, and she shared Eve's sentiment when she saw Kevin and Eve walk in the door. But her curiosity got the better of her, and she tried to watch them inconspicuously, wondering where things stood with them that Kevin was calling her.

Felicia seated Kevin and Eve and walked back to Lucy. "So, what are you and Scott going to do about this guy?" Lucy had been telling Felicia about DV's attempts to crush the Serena line.

Lucy watched Kevin kiss Eve while he held her hand and lost all train of thought. It occurred to her that Kevin might be playing games. While she really didn't want to believe he was capable, the evidence was there. Tears came to her eyes, and she became furious with herself. Before Felicia could repeat herself, Lucy stood up and walked casually to the office. Confused, Felicia followed her. After shutting the door, she turned to Lucy. "What's going on? I thought you were okay with this. What about you and Scott?"

"I don't know. I don't know about anything anymore. You know what? I wish he hadn't called me." She hadn't meant to say it, but it was too late. Felicia pounced on it.

"He called you? When?"

"It doesn't matter. I don't understand what he wants, but he's not going to tear my heart out again! I can't take it." Tears slid down her face and she shrugged. "I can't take it again."

Felicia was angry with Kevin, and she started for the door.

"Felicia, stop! Don't say anything. Please."

"Why not? He calls you, I don't know what he said, but it was enough to rattle you when you saw him with Eve. What is he up to?"

"I'll find out. Just don't say anything to him. Or her. Not until I know for sure what I'm going to do." Wiping her eyes, she stood. "Besides, if he is playing a game with me, you know me well enough to know I want to be the one to blow him out of the water."

"Can I be there to watch at least?"

Lucy finally smiled. "If I decide to do anything drastic, I promise you'll have a front row seat."

Laughing, they went back out to the bar. As they crossed the floor, they both glanced Kevin's way, almost at the same time. Smiling, they both nodded to him, but their smiles were not what Kevin would term warm.

Not knowing what he'd done this time, Kevin looked at Eve, who thought it was because of her.

"Face it, Kevin, Lucy will hate me until the day she dies. Felicia isn't too wild about me, either."

"You did what you thought you had to do. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I ruined Felicia's wedding, too. I don't think she'll ever forgive me for that, anymore than Lucy will."

Kevin hadn't really had a chance to talk to Felicia since the wedding.

He didn't know how she felt about what had happened. "I'll make it a point to stop by this week and talk to her. When Lucy isn't around. You may be right. She and Lucy got close because of Mac and me. I hoped she'd understand. She acted like she did that day."

During the time Kevin and Eve were there, Felicia and Lucy had a few drinks. They laughed and took turns playing the jukebox in the corner. Fortunately, Eve's back was to the bar, so she missed the fact that Lucy would occasionally, more often the more she drank, glare over at Kevin. Kevin didn't draw attention to it, more to avoid a confrontation between the two women more than any other reason. He'd honestly thought they were through with all her temper tantrums about what had happened. Especially since she'd appeared to be happy with Scott.

Maybe there was trouble there. Of course, with Lucy, that was usually the case. He thought about that. 'Not bitter are we?' went through his mind. He thought HE was through with all that.

Making it a point to pay strict attention to Eve, he tried to finish dinner and pay the check as quickly as he could without drawing attention to himself.

Mac arrived and waved to Kevin before sitting at the bar, watching Felicia and Lucy, who weren't drunk, but had enough to be having a very good time together. On either side of Mac, they proceeded to try to get him to dance with them. Mac finally noticed the way Lucy was trying to sneak glares at Kevin and looked over at him. Kevin met Mac's stare and shrugged.

Something was definitely under Lucy's skin when it came to Kevin, but neither man could even begin to guess what it was. Understanding Kevin's predicament, Mac made sure he was given his bill as soon as they finished their dinner so Kevin could leave before Lucy became obvious to Eve.

**Chapter 5**

In the meantime, Ryan's next stop was Ferncliff. As Kevin, it was easy to get in to see Julie Devlin. The guards on duty knew him, and didn't pay attention when he only pretended to sign in. He only saw one orderly when he requested Julie be brought to the visiting room. When Julie saw him, she smiled. "Kevin. I thought you wouldn't be back for a few days."

"Changed my mind." He smiled. Now to really start something.

"I'm glad. I missed you already. I don't really trust anyone here."

"I understand that. You never know who's your friend in a place like this."

She gave him a strange look. "That sounds strange, coming from you."

"Well, I'm in a strange mood." He laughed. "I've been thinking about you. I want to know why you want me to help you."

"I thought I already told you. Only you can understand me. You know what I'm talking about."

Julie tried to figure out what Kevin was getting at. The last time she seen him, he'd seemed satisfied with her explanation.

"Why?" Ryan was intrigued. This girl was running some kind of game. He wondered if Kevin was on to her.

"Because you know what it's like to do things that you don't understand you're doing. I don't understand what you're looking for. We've had this conversation before."

"Well, why don't you tell me the truth this time?"

Julie was shocked. How much did Kevin think he knew? "I don't know what you're talking about."

Ryan grinned. Julie was surprised. That meant Kevin didn't suspect a thing. "If you don't want to cut to the chase and tell me what this is really about, I'm walking out that door, and I'm not coming back."

Julie had no idea that her buttons were being pushed by a master. But she did know that if Kevin figured out what was going on, she'd never get out of there. Touching her 'baby', she yawned.

"I'm getting really tired, I don't know what you want, but I really need to get back to my room. I don't feel very good."

"Convenient." He had to let her go. It would blow everything if he caused a scene here. Kevin would find out he'd been here, but he wouldn't find out today.

As Julie started to leave the room, Ryan grabbed her arm. "Just remember, little girl, that this game was not invented by you, and it has been perfected in a league you've only dreamt of being in. Sometimes it takes one to know one."

The look in Ryan's eyes actually scared Julie, but she didn't let him see that. Instead, anger flashed in her eyes. "I don't know who you think you are, but you're supposed to be helping me. If this is how you help people, no wonder you don't have a license."

He let go of her arm and she practically ran from the room. Ryan laughed. Kevin was going to pay for that. Leaving as quickly and as quietly as he could, he made contact with as few people as possible. No sense in tripping his hand too early.

**Chapter 6**

The next morning, Lucy looked at the clock on her desk. Since she'd arrived at the office, she was still undecided as to if she was going to meet Kevin or not. She alternated between hurt that he might be playing some game, and anger that he might be setting her up for a fall. Add guilt over not telling Scott, and a small genuine hope that Kevin might be telling her the truth, and Lucy didn't know which way to turn by 11AM.

Finally she sighed. She was going. All along, the whole time she was arguing with herself, deep down, she'd known all along she was going.

So at noon, she stepped into the diner. Kevin stood and smiled at her.

Suddenly, she thought about last night and by the time she reached him, she was furious. "I want to know what the hell is going on. Now!"

Ryan tensed. "What?"

"Last night? The Outback?"

Every muscle in Ryan's body tensed. She must have run into Kevin. What had happened? It took every bit of self-restraint he possessed to not grab her and run out the door. Had she blown the whole thing? She took his lack of reply to be an admission of guilt. "What am I to you? Is this a game to you? If you are so confused, then why are you still so cozy with Eve? Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

She'd seen Kevin with Eve. But had she said anything? "Lucy, what do you want me to say? Am I just supposed to walk away from Eve, give up everything I have, for a woman I'm A. not sure even cares about me, or B. I'm not sure I can trust?"

That worked. The pain flashed across Lucy's face and she sat down. Ryan almost smiled. God she was easy. "Do you want to know what I want, Lucy? I want to know that you still love me, that you want to be with me. At least you are willing to try."

Standing, she tried to walk away from him again. Blocking her, he backed her up to sit down at the booth, sliding in and facing her. "What is it going to be, Lucy?"

Leaning in, he waited for her answer. Little did she know that her answer would decide if he would allow her to go home that night.

She was trying not to cry. "Where are you coming from, Kevin? You know I still love you. Are you trying to hurt me for a reason? How am I supposed to feel when you call me out of the blue, tell me you think you might have made a mistake, then I see you kissing Eve like everything's fine, and staring at me like I've lost my mind. I mean-"

Ryan kissed her. He had to shut her up or he was going to slap her. How had Kevin put up with her incessant babbling without killing her? When she returned his kiss, he pulled away from her, holding her face. "I love you, Lucy. I want to be with you. But I can't trust you, and until you can prove to me I can trust you, I can't commit to being with you."

Bulls eye. He was glad he'd done so much research on them. This trust thing was going to come in handy. It worked on her better than puppet strings. Looking totally crushed, Lucy stared at the table. When she finally replied, her voice was barely a whisper. "What do I have to do to prove it to you?"

Leaning over to her, he whispered in her ear. "Be with me, I need to believe in you. In your love."

Her face showed confusion, and he almost panicked. "I mean, are you willing to leave Scott? Are you willing to try to build a new life with me? Do you love me?"

"Kevin, I've told you a million times I would do anything for you. Why are you asking me this now? What's going on?"

Ryan almost had pity for the hopeful look in her eyes. God help her, she really loved his brother. She'd really blown everything he'd ever heard about her out of the water. The question was, did she love Kevin enough to leave Scott for him? "Let's get out of here. I want to be alone with you." Ryan pulled her to her feet and out the door.

Lucy let him drag her out into the parking lot. "Where are we going?"

"Jasmine Island."

"What?"

The tone of her voice scared Ryan again. The island was the safest place to take her.

No chance of anyone seeing them, and if she turned out to be too much trouble, or realized what was really going on, he could deal with her there. "Think about it. Are you ready for everyone in Port Charles to find out about us? If we go anywhere else, someone could see us."

"What if I don't care if anyone sees us?"

"Are you-"Taking a deep breath, he calmed his voice. "Are you ready to give up Scott?"

"You know it's much more complicated than that."

"Then follow me to the island. We need to talk." Talking to her was the last thing he wanted to do, but Kevin wouldn't exactly take her to a cheap motel and tear her short little dress off. Which was the only thing Ryan wanted to do with her at that moment.

Finally, she nodded. "Okay."

All the way to the island, Lucy wasn't sure what she hoped for. Was she ready to trust him? Was she ready to sleep with him? That was where she thought this was headed if they were on the island alone. The thought of being with him again had a very mixed effect on her. It was what she wanted, but not like this. Not while she was still living with Scott. She felt she owed it to Scott to tell him what was going on. But what if she told Scott and Kevin changed his mind? God that sounded as horrible as it felt.

Ryan was having a few thoughts of his own. He was very close to panicking. This was going to be the test. He'd thought about all the excuses he could use if he did something that sent up a red flag. If he could pull this off, along with her dress, her- Shaking his head, he stopped himself. This kind of thinking would definitely get him in trouble.

She would be his if he played his cards right. She was so in love with Kevin, she would do anything to get him back. That was the key.

Chapter 7  
When they reached the island, Ryan opened the door for her and followed her inside. Looking around, she sat on the sofa. "Well?"

"Are you in a hurry?"

"Kevin, I do have to go home at some point. Scott will be looking for me. If he calls the office, he'll-"

"You need to make up your mind, Lucy. Do you want to see where this is going to go or not? Do you think you might want to be with me? Can I believe what you said earlier?"

When in doubt, pull out the trump card. The trust thing again.

Once again, it worked. Lucy's eyes filled with tears and she looked at the ground.

Without another word, Ryan went to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Chardonnay out of the refrigerator. He personally hated the stuff, but Kevin liked it. And the red wine had given him away before. It wouldn't this time. After a moment of consideration, he crushed a small pill and dropped it in Lucy's glass. Just a mild tranquilizer, to keep her from thinking too much about anything wrong he might say. He wasn't ready to keep her here, yet. He needed her to come to him willingly. He laughed. "So let's just lower the old I.Q. a few points. I have to give it to you, Lucy, you're a lot smarter than I thought you were the first time I saw you."

Back out in the living room, he handed her the glass. Sitting next to her, he took her hand. "You want to know where I'm coming from. So I'll tell you as best I can. I miss you."

He couldn't help himself. Touching her hair, he inched closer to her.

She tensed, but didn't pull away from him.

Ryan's mind was racing. This was Kevin's woman he was trying to seduce. She belonged to him, and Ryan was about to take her. His fingers were trembling as they brushed her cheek and down her neck. The thought of how easily her neck would snap in his hand almost pushed him over the edge. He struggled to get himself under control.

Just as nervous as he was, but for different reasons, Lucy drank her wine quickly. When she put her glass down, he was smiling at her strangely. "What are you thinking about?"

"You. Me. Where we're going." Pulling her to him, he kissed her.

Returning his kiss, she leaned back on the sofa. Everything she'd felt since the day he'd left her came back to her. When she felt his hands caressing her breasts, she pulled away. "I can't. Not like this."

"What?!" He screamed at her, and she jumped.

Standing, she faced him. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" Panic set in. What could he say to her that wouldn't make her more paranoid than she already was? "What's wrong with me is that I bear my soul to you, and you won't even tell me what you're thinking. You act like you want me, then you pull away from me. What am I supposed to be thinking?"

It seemed to satisfy her. He didn't know if it was the drug, or she was really that stupid. It didn't matter, as long as she stayed.

"I'm confused. I don't know if I can get my hopes up, or if I should cut my losses where you're concerned. I do love you. Do I think we can be together? You tell me! I wanted to be with you, I wanted to marry you!" She began to cry. "I wanted to be you wife, the mother of your children, I wanted to be your life. I wanted you to build your life with mine. You're the one who didn't want it! You're the one who walked away from me. I didn't. I begged you to stay." Not knowing she was really talking to Ryan, she had no idea how much danger she was in for crossing him. In anger, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to face her. "I did something I swore I'd never do again when I was 16 years old! I begged you! I swallowed every ounce of pride I'd ever had and I begged and pleaded. Ego? Self-respect? Forget it. I gave it all to you. And you looked me right in the eye and threw it in my face."

As her tirade continued, Ryan was finding it harder and harder to concentrate. He wanted to hit her, choke her, anything to shut her up. Her voice was grating on his nerves, and he didn't think he could go one more minute without shutting her up forever. Next time he'd give her a stronger dose. If he didn't kill her this time. Then it clicked in his mind.

Marriage. She'd mentioned it at least twice in the little part he'd actually listened to.

"Lucy."

She kept going.

"Lucy!" Finally he grabbed her arms. "Lucy! Listen to me!" When he jerked her body, she finally stopped and looked at him.

"You want to know where I'm headed with this? I'll tell you. Wait here. Quietly, please."

Running up the stairs, he jerked open the drawer in the room he'd been sleeping in. Grabbing what he was looking for, he came down the stairs three at a time and faced her.

"Remember these?"

When she saw the wedding rings, she began to cry again.

"Do you remember what I said to you when I gave you this?" He wanted her to tell him. So he didn't make a mistake.

"Of course I remember! I'll never forget. It was one of the happiest days of my life." Gently, she touched his face. "That's what you don't get. The happiest days I've ever had were with you. But I've also had the most miserable, lonely days of my life because of you. Can I open myself up to that again?"

His patience was beyond the breaking point. "This is yours. I gave it to you."

"And you took it away!"

"And it was a mistake. I admit it. Is that what you wanted? I admit it was a mistake." Would she ever shut up? "I want to put this back on your finger. I want to tell everyone we're back together. But I need to know you're for real." He held the side of her face with his hand, his thumb very close to her windpipe. The smartest thing she could do right now would be to stay quiet. "You have to prove to me that you want to be with me." He tried to make it sound like a challenge.

"How?" Her eyes met his.

He kissed her. The ring worked like a charm. She returned his kiss without the slightest hesitation. Knowing he had the perfect carrot to dangle in front of her, he ran his hands over her body. But he couldn't sleep with her. Not yet. It was too much of a risk that she would be able to tell he wasn't Kevin.

Fortunately, she made the first move. Pulling away from him, she looked at him. "I can't do this. Not like this. I have to tell Scott."

Ryan almost held his breath. "Does that mean you want to be with me?"

Crying, she nodded.

Smiling broadly, he pulled her to him and held her. His pleasure was no act. This was what he wanted. Stage one was falling into place perfectly.

Lucy couldn't believe what was happening. Kevin was here, telling her he wanted to marry her, and he loved her. For the last few months, she'd given up all hope that he would ever want to be with her again. But her heart hadn't cooperated. And here she was, with him, kissing him, making plans to be with him.

He realized he wasn't home free yet. He had to make sure she stayed away from Kevin until he was ready to have Kevin find out for himself. "Lucy, look. You need to understand something. I want to believe in you. I need you to make me. When you're ready to make the commitment, I'll make one to you. In the meantime, you don't want Scott to find out until you're ready to tell him, I don't want Evi- Eve to find out until I'm ready to tell her. I want you to promise me that you won't tell anyone until we're ready." Silently cursing himself for almost slipping, he stared at her.

"So we're back to that delayed gratification thing again?"

Not having any idea what she was talking about, he simply nodded.

"I guess you're right. I need time to think about this. I'm a little overwhelmed. I have to find the right way to tell Scott."

"So, for now, this is our secret?"

She nodded.

"I'll call you tomorrow. Okay?" He kissed her, and was startled by the intensity with which she returned his kiss. Once again, he felt her body with his hands. This woman did have her finer points. And he was holding a few of them as he thought this.

As soon as she left, Ryan took a long deep breath. It surprised him that she was still breathing. Talk about delayed gratification. If she'd only known how close she'd pushed him to killing her tonight. He was going to have to speed up the plan a little. He didn't want to lose control and kill her before everything fell into place.

**Chapter 8**

After Lucy left the island; Ryan decided to make sure he was ready for Lucy to come to him. She would soon. All he had to do was keep her around until Kevin figured things out. And he had to make sure that happened soon after. He wanted to see Kevin's face when he saw Lucy here with him. Not to mention Lucy's when she realized what she'd done. He had a full bottle of those tranquilizers, and he intended to use them. Something had to work to keep her quiet. They weren't actually for humans, they were for cats. But they were very popular on the streets, and not very expensive. Not Rophynol, but similar. She wouldn't black out, but she would be.... less inhibited? Ryan laughed. "Face it. I need these so she won't realize I'm not her darling Kevin until it's too late."

Mentally, he went through a checklist of what he intended to do. So much, and so little time. The last thing he had to decide was how he was going to bring Kevin to the island.

Instead of going back to Jax, Lucy went to the Outback. She'd already slipped to Felicia; she might as well talk to her about what Kevin wanted from her. One look at Lucy and Felicia pulled her to the office. "Tell me what's going on."

"Scott has no idea what I'm thinking about doing to him." Beginning to cry, Lucy flopped on the chair. "Why did Kevin wait till now to pull this?"

"What? And what does Kevin have to do with it?"

Lucy stared Felicia in the eyes. "He wants me back. He says he loves me, and he wants me to marry him."

Felicia had the same reaction Lucy did. Utter shock. "He WHAT?"

Lucy told her the whole story.

"So you're going back to him?"

Lucy shrugged. "I love him. I always have. I didn't stop because I thought he did. You know that."

"What about Scott?" Felicia didn't like where this was going. She liked Scott and Kevin, and she didn't like the thought of either of them being hurt.

"He loves me. I think I love him, too. But we're not in love. Not like he was with Dom, or I am with Kevin. I never told him I didn't love Kevin." A defensive tone crept into Lucy's voice.

"I know. I was there, remember? I know how much you love him. I'm just asking what about Scott? You need to be absolutely sure before you hurt him. And what about Kevin? He was here with Eve. Are you sure what he wants?"

Nodding, Lucy leaned back. "I told you, he still has our wedding rings. He told me as soon as I make a commitment to him, he'll give it back to me."

"What about him? When does he make the commitment? How long does he get to have both of you?" Felicia couldn't believe they were talking about Kevin. This just didn't sound like him. If he didn't love Eve, and he wanted to be with Lucy, why was he staying with Eve?

"He can't trust me, Felicia. I have to prove to him this isn't a game. He knows how much I love to play revenge games."

"That doesn't sound fair. You're the one who gives up everything on his promise?"

Lucy's reply was so low that Felicia had to strain to hear her. "If fair was an issue for me, we never would have gotten together in the first place."

"So when are you going to make that commitment?"

Lucy sighed. "Tonight. As soon as Scott gets home. I just wish I knew I wasn't making a big mistake. I know I love Kevin. I don't want to hurt Scott. But I won't sleep with Kevin until Scott knows, and the next time I see Kevin, I'm not sure I'll stop." Smacking the chair several times, Lucy screamed. "How do I get myself into these things?!"

**Chapter 9**

Kevin went in to the visiting room at Ferncliff and waited for Julie to be brought in to see him.

When she did, she stood back and looked at him as if he was going to bite her.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? After the way you treated me? You ask me what's wrong?"

For the second time that week, Kevin was confused. "After the way I treated you?"

Julie started to really tell him what she thought, but then decided not to go into it. He'd let her know in no uncertain terms that he knew she was playing games. But how much did he know, and who did he intend to tell? No, it was better to let him make the next move. She smiled. "When you were here the other day, I thought you might have been having a bad day, or something."

"Why?" His blank stare told Julie he had no idea what she was talking about.

And she was the crazy one? All of a sudden she realized her doctor might be in need of a doctor himself. Forcing herself to not smile, a thought occurred to her. If Kevin was developing a habit of forgetting what he'd done, it might come in handy. "I just got the feeling you were not having the greatest day. You were just... well, not like yourself. Maybe it was me."

Shrugging, Kevin sat down. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I came by today to see how you were feeling."

"Tired. Being pregnant wears you out." Patting her 'pillow', she watched him carefully.

He thought the pregnancy was in her mind, but said nothing. Maybe he'd said something a few days ago when he'd been there that she'd felt threatened by. He made a mental note to himself to be more careful of what he said to her.

**Chapter 10**

When Scott opened the door to the firehouse, Lucy was waiting for him.

The moment he saw her, he knew something was wrong. "What's wrong? Did something happen to Serena? You? What'-"

"Scott, nothings wrong with Serena. She's with Karen. I'm fine. I just needed to talk to you. I mean I have to tell you, I don't know how to begin, I mean, Scott, do you-"

"Lucy! Whatever it is you don't want to tell me, just say it!"

"I've been seeing Kevin!"

The room instantly grew silent. Scott stared at her. Finally, with a shaky voice, he spoke. "You what?"

"Don't make me say it again. You heard me."

"How long have you been seeing Kevin?"

"I've only seen him a couple of times. But I have to tell you......." She started to cry and she couldn't finish.

She didn't have to. "You're going back to him, right?"

Nodding, she turned away from him.

"What do you want me to say? Good luck? You're gonna need it. Or maybe we're still friends, and I'll wait patiently until he hurts you again? No way, Lucy. You want to run back to him and let him throw you out the next time he thinks he's done with you, fine.

But I won't be around to watch."

"Scott, you don't understand-"

Losing what little bit of patience he still possessed, he got right in her face. "That's your stock line when you know what you're doing is wrong! After everything he's done to you, after everything that's happened between us, you're just going to run back to him! Go! Get out! If Serena and I mean so little to you, don't even spend one more minute here." Grabbing her arm, he pushed her towards the door.

Jerking her arm away, she stopped and looked at him. "I never told you I didn't love him. You knew the reason I couldn't commit to you was because I STILL LOVED HIM."

She screamed at him. "That doesn't mean you and Serena don't mean the world to me. You know that."

"Not enough of the world, apparently. You're not exactly stopping to think about us before you go running back to him."

"Scott, I'm not running out on you. And I'd NEVER run out on Serena. I'd never hurt her."

"What do you think this is going to do to her? I'm not going to let you hurt her again. I swear to you, Lucy, this is the last time my daughter is going to cry because of you."

Lucy realized what Scott was saying. "You're going to...... you can't do that, Scott. I love her. She loves me."

"Well you should have thought of that before you agreed to be Kevin Collins's personal doormat again. Serena won't be part of it." Opening the door, he pointed. "Get out. Don't make me throw you out. I guarantee you'll get hurt."

"Scott," She was shrieking now. "You can't take my little girl away from me!"

"She's not your little girl, Lucy. She's Dominique's daughter. And no matter how hard you try, you'll never be her mother!" Scott knew he'd crossed the line with that comment. It was one thing to yell and scream at her. It was another to completely tear her apart. But it was too late.

He could see the damage all over her face. And he was too angry and hurt at the moment to try to do anything about it. His voice wasn't calm, but it was quieter.

"Lucy, you need to leave. Before I do something we'll both regret. I'll send your things to the lighthouse in a few days."

Not thinking about anything besides what he'd said about Dom, she walked out the door.


	2. Part 2

Chapter 12   
Lucy's first destination was Jasmine Island. But she had no idea if Kevin would even be there. Probably not. After a few minutes of driving aimlessly, she headed for Felicia's. As soon as Mac opened the door, his face showed concern. Lucy was hysterical.

"Lucy? Hey, what's wrong?" The next thing he knew, her arms were around his neck and she was shaking.

Felicia heard them and came to the door. "Oh, Lucy, you told him, didn't you."

Turning to her, Lucy could only nod.

"What did he do?" Pulling her to sit on the sofa, Felicia handed her tissue.

"Well, he..... he was angry,..... I knew he would be..... I never thought...... He...." She started to cry again.

"Lucy, what did he do?"

"He...... he took..... he won't..... Felicia, I can't give her up. I can't. How did I..... how can I...... God, I always manage to screw up everything! How did I let this happen?"

Felicia was ready to grab Lucy. "What happened!"

"He took Serena away." Felicia couldn't understand another word Lucy said. She didn't need to. Scott had taken away the one thing that he knew would tear Lucy apart.

Mac was standing quietly behind them, his confusion showing. The last he knew, Scott and Lucy had been the happy family.

"Have you talked to Kevin yet?"

Lucy shook her head. "I can't call him."

"Lucy! You did what he asked you to! Now it's his turn! You've given up everything, you need to tell him that you did it!"

Staring at Felicia for a moment, she finally nodded. Taking her cell out of her purse, she held it, uncertain. "I don't know. If he hasn't told....." She shook her head. "You know what? You're right." Dialing Kevin's number, she heard the answering machine. A small stab went through her heart and she felt a moment of panic when she heard Kevin's cheerful voice saying 'Hello, Eve and I aren't here at the moment. Leave a message at the tone....' Trying to keep her voice even, she spoke into the tape. "Kevin, it's Lucy. I need to talk to you. Call me on my cell. You know the number." Hanging up, she looked at Felicia, not sure she'd done the right thing.

Lucy finally noticed Mac, who looked so lost she almost laughed. "Kevin and I have been seeing each other. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. I just....... I just left Scott." The tears came again, and she fought them.

"If you've been seeing him, why was he at the Outback with Eve?" Everything clicked in Mac's mind. "Now I know why you were staring daggers at him. But what's he doing?"

Felicia answered. "I wish I knew. I don't like it. She just walked away from Scott to be with Kevin. She gave up everything. Mac, she may have lost Serena! And Kevin is still with Eve. He apparently hasn't even told her, yet."

"I don't get it. That doesn't sound like Kevin."

"I know. But...... " Felicia looked at Lucy and shrugged.

"But he doesn't trust me. I lied to him before. He didn't know I wasn't this time." Her voice was softer, and she was trying to calm down.

Starting to say something, Mac suddenly stopped. It would have been something about Kevin not having anything to say about trust with what he was doing to Eve, but he figured this was not the time to say it. What really surprised him was that Lucy was okay with it. He'd given her more credit for being smarter. Certainly for having more self-respect. Apparently not when it came to Kevin.

Lucy stood. "I've got to get out of here. No offense, but I really need to go."

"Where are you going?"

"Jasmine Island. He'll turn up there sooner or later, and I'd like to be alone right now."

Felicia watched her go and turned to Mac. "I'm not really happy with Kevin right now."

Shaking his head, Mac sighed. "I'd love to know what he's up to. I never pictured him to be the type to do this."

**Chapter 13**

Ryan had spent the evening shopping and filling the house with Lucy's favorites. Lots of chocolate, Chardonnay, and various other goodies he had seen Lucy rave over in the last few months. He heard a car door shut and ran to the front door. As soon as he opened it, she threw herself in his arms, crying.

"What happened?" Ryan was as stunned as he sounded. He expected some sort of highly emotional 'reunion' with her, but this was not what he had in mind.

"I told him. I told Scott everything!"

"Well, YOU said that's what you wanted."

"It is. I..... I just......" Letting go of him, she began to pace around the living room. "You don't understand! He is hurt, and furious, and I'm not sure he'll ever speak to me again!"

"And?" Ryan still didn't understand, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Kevin! He's going to take her away from me again! He told me.... he said.... I... I'm going to lose Serena! He's not going to let me see her! I never told him I was in love with him. He knew I was still in love with you. I tried not to hurt him! He's the best friend I've ever had, and he has my baby, and he hates me! He's going to keep her from me again! And I can't stop him!"

"I could kill him." Ryan muttered, then realized Lucy had heard him and was staring at him, shocked.

"Figure of speech."

She was still staring.

"You look like you need a drink." More to escape her intense stare than anything else, Ryan practically ran to the kitchen. He hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Pouring the Chardonnay, he thought about the tranquilizers he'd hidden. One or two couldn't hurt.

Anything to keep her from going off on another rant.

When he returned to the living room, she was on the sofa. "Here. Now calm down. He knew you loved me. We'll find a way to get him to let Serena see you. It will probably take time." Putting his arms around her, he leaned her back against him. Trying to sound understanding when he wanted to laugh hysterically was taking its toll on him. This was going better than he'd hoped.

It wasn't until after she'd swallowed the last of her first glass and started the second that she started to relax in his arms.

Ryan found himself actually enjoying the feel of her against him. It had been a very long time since he'd held a woman like this. Her hair smelled like strawberry, and actually complemented the perfume she was wearing.

Suddenly she leaned forward and turned to look at him. "How did you know I was here? My message just said for you to call me."

His mind raced. What was she talking about? Then it occurred to him. She'd called Kevin. "You called the lighthouse?" He tried to keep the fury and panic out of his voice.

"I just said I needed to talk to you and to call me on my cell. You didn't get it? I was careful of what I said."

Well, it was a good thing she was here to stay. No, she WAS here to stay, it was a good thing she wanted to stay. Ryan realized he couldn't let her leave now. All he had to do was get to her cell before he called her back. If he would. No, he'd call. If for no other reason then how her voice had probably sounded. Kevin would know something was wrong with her. So, get to the phone.

Soon.

Lucy was looking at him expectantly.

"What?"

"I take it you haven't...."

"Haven't....? Oh, have I told her yet?"

Lucy nodded.

"Well, I haven't come out and said it, but she knows I'm not really happy with her."

"Are you going to tell her soon?" Her tone told him that he couldn't put her off much longer. She wanted to go to the lighthouse.

"Soon. I promise." Before she could say another word, he kissed her.

"It's been so long." No lie there. "I want you." Another honest statement. He smiled. He was on a roll.

Lucy leaned back against the arm of the sofa, wrapping her arms around his neck. This was what she'd dreamed of for months. Why did something feel wrong? Opening her eyes, she looked at him. "Kevin?"

He sighed. "Yes?"

"This isn't right."

"What is it?" He tried to control his temper.

"I can't believe you're doing this."

Sitting back, he looked at her. "What can't you believe? That I'm here with you? That I want to be with you?"

"That you're...... that you......" Biting her lip, Lucy decided to just say it. "What about Eve?"

"What about her? I'm here because I want to be with you." Pulling her to him, he kissed her.

Whatever Lucy was going to say next, she forgot. All she could think about was the taste of his lips on hers and the feel of his hands on her body. Reaching for him, she began to cry.

When he realized she was crying, Ryan put his head back and sighed. "What?"

"I just..... I just never thought this would happen. I love you so much." Touching his face, she leaned close to him. "I never thought you..... That you could......."

"Lucy, stop. Please? Can you listen to me?" He began to wonder if he'd given her too much. "We're going to have everything we ever dreamed of. Starting tonight." Pulling her to him, he kissed her hungrily.

After a moment's more hesitation, Lucy returned his kiss with equal passion. When she climbed in his lap, Ryan almost ripped her shirt getting it off of her. Her bra was next, releasing her breasts to his eager mouth.

When Lucy felt his teeth, she almost pulled away from him. Kevin had never been much for biting. The thought that he'd picked up a few things since the last time she'd been with him was not something she wanted to dwell on.

Her hands reached for his shirt, and he put her on her feet to unzip her short skirt. Before it could fall off of her, she stopped him and tugged at his shirt. Taking her hand, he pulled her towards the stairs. "I think the bed would be more comfortable."

"Okay." Dropping her skirt, she went upstairs.

Ryan stood still for a moment, watching her. God she had a body on her.

Shortly, it would be on him. He grinned. After turning off her cell phone, he headed for the stairs. Taking the stairs two at a time, Ryan grabbed her from behind and dragged her into the bedroom. The grip he had on her was so tight, that when she turned to face him and grabbed his belt, her strength surprised him. If she decided to try to get away from him, he couldn't underestimate her. But right now, she'd decided to tear his clothes off, and he was not about to fight her.

After his clothes were lying on the floor, Lucy pulled him to her. Her mouth opened to his and he could barely taste the Chardonnay she'd been drinking on her lips and tongue. Pulling away from her for a moment, he reached out into the hall and turned on that light. It was just enough to barely illuminate the room. He wanted to see her.

Crawling onto the bed, she reached for him.

Ryan kneeled next to her, and ran his hands over her. The idea that he was here, in bed, with Kevin's woman, was driving him to the point he couldn't stay still. He wanted to touch her, to have every part of her that his brother had before him. Grabbing her, he practically shoved her down on her back so hard the bed shook. She didn't seem to mind, reaching for him she pulled him down on top of her.

When he made love to her, he finally stopped thinking about Kevin. All he could think about was her. Holding her, kissing her, being inside of her. It was everything he'd imagined it would be. And more.

Lucy couldn't get enough of him. His teeth along her shoulder felt like he was taking her skin off. She was surprised to find it excited her. Using her own teeth, she ran her mouth along his neck and collarbone. It drove him into a frenzy, and the headboard sounded like it was going to go through the wall. Gripping him by the hair, she put her head back and screamed.

His mind had gone completely blank as every nerve ending he possessed felt like it was on fire. As his body shook, her obvious pleasure drove him crazy, and blinded him to everything except the feel of her.

Until she screamed his brother's name.

It hit him like a slap in the face, reminding him of everything that was really happening. She was Kevin's. Yes, he'd had her body, and Kevin would try to make him pay for it when he found out.

But her heart, her soul, they belonged to 'the good twin'. Rage flowed through him, and he put his hands around her neck. So easy, so perfect. For her to die with him inside her......

**Chapter 14**

Having no idea what was going through 'Kevin's' mind, Lucy had her eyes closed. When she felt his hands on her neck, she grabbed them. "I can barely breathe as it is. Don't help." Opening her eyes, she looked at him. With the light coming from his back, she couldn't see his face. "It has been way too long. Why is it you have this effect on me? Is it because I love you so much? Or are you just the most incredible lover ever?"

Letting go of her neck, Ryan looked at her, shocked. Yes, she loved Kevin, but Kevin hadn't done to her what he'd just done. She was talking about him. Ryan. She didn't know it, but..... Her face was barely illuminated, and Ryan looked into her eyes. Kevin had walked away from this? Who was the crazy one here? Kissing her once more, he rolled off of her. When he lay on his back, she put her head on his chest. It seemed like an automatic thing with her, and he realized that this must have been how she'd slept with Kevin.

A million things went through Ryan's mind. He'd done it. He'd managed to seduce the woman that Kevin had loved more than anything. But then, who had seduced whom? Was that a wild twist, or what? He almost laughed. Now to put the rest of the plan into motion. The final step was to make sure Kevin came here looking for him. He couldn't wait to see Kevin's face when he found 'his woman' with Ryan.

Then he thought of Lucy's face when she realized she'd betrayed both of the men she loved with a man she hated. That thought didn't make him as happy as it had before.

Was he feeling guilt? That would be a new emotion for him. He had to remember that if she knew, she would gladly kill him herself. She did hate him. No matter how good he made her feel, how many times he made love to her, how many times he made her scream, she would hate him when she found out he wasn't Kevin. No matter how he felt about her. As long as he could remember that, he could do what he had to do.

**Chapter 15**

The flashing light on the answering machine caught Kevin's attention when he and Eve walked in the door. Pressing play, he stood next to the table and listened. When he heard Lucy's message, he looked at Eve.

"Kevin, if you want to return her call, go ahead. She doesn't sound like... well like herself."

"Something's wrong." Her voice did sound strange, but he was thinking about the Outback. Even though he hadn't dialed her cell in a year, he had no trouble remembering it. When the recording came on that the customer couldn't be reached, he hung up. After thinking about it for a moment, Kevin picked the phone up again and dialed the firehouse.

Scott's voice answered.

"Scott."

The sound of Kevin's voice further fueled Scott's rage. "Don't. I'm telling you right now, don't. You want her, you can have her. But don't call here and try to change my mind."

Scott hung up before Kevin could ask what was going on. He figured out they'd had some sort of fight, but what did he have to do with it? Why would Scott think he wanted Lucy?

"What happened?" Eve could read the confusion on Kevin's face.

"I have no idea. Apparently they had a fight. She probably called to talk about it."

"In that case, I guess I'm going to have to admit I'm glad you didn't find her." Wrapping her arms around his neck, Eve whispered to him. "I have plans of my own for you tonight. And they don't include you listening to your ex-girlfriend cry about her love life."

"Be nice. She's left you alone for a while now. I think she really loves Scott, and if they had a fight, I'm sure she's upset."

"She'll also get over it. They'll probably be back together before you even find her. Scott told me they used to do this all the time when they were together before."

"Lucy told me the same thing." He had to admit, this did sound like the relationship Lucy had described to him.

"Which is why I couldn't believe they-" Eve shook her head. "I really don't want to talk about Scott and Lucy. I want to go upstairs, and talk about what we're going to do to each other tonight."

Erasing her message, Kevin followed her upstairs. Eve was probably right. They'd had a fight. It was their problem. If they didn't work it out, Lucy would call again. That much he was sure of. The only thing that really puzzled him was that Scott apparently thought he had something to do with it. What was Lucy up to now?

Ryan opened his eyes and tried to sit up. It took him a moment to remember that Lucy was across his chest. She'd passed out about 2 minutes after lying her head down on him. Sliding out from under her, he stood and took his clothes into the hallway. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her, although that would probably be difficult. They were tranquilizers he'd given her. She'd probably sleep until sometime late in the morning.

Now, how was he going to handle her? The fact that she'd called Kevin complicated things. He couldn't let her leave the island. Chances were to high that she'd run into Kevin. What if Kevin went looking for her? How long would it take him to piece together what was going on? A thought crossed his mind that made his heart skip a beat.

Who else had she told? From what he'd seen of Lucy, he had a hard time believing that Scott was the only one she'd talked to about this. Deciding to keep it simple, he took her cell phone. Then he went outside and turned the headlights on in her car. Lifting the hood, he disconnected the cable from her battery. No phone, dead battery. She would be here when he returned.

**Chapter 18**

Scott stared at the clock. Karen would be dropping Serena off at school right now. He'd sat up all night, just staring at Lucy's side of the bed. He'd thought about everything she'd said. It wasn't right, but it was the truth. She'd loved Kevin all along. And she'd told him more than once. He had always wondered what she'd do if Kevin changed his mind.

Well, now he knew.

She must have told Kevin what he'd said about Serena. The guy had nerve, had to give him that. He still had to explain to Serena where Lucy was. As far as taking Serena away from Lucy. Well, he could do that. But he couldn't take Lucy away from Serena. She loved Lucy, no matter who Lucy was with. Just not for a while. Scott couldn't deal with Lucy, just yet. He needed time. And he needed to get out of that empty house.

The Recovery Room was almost empty this time of the morning. Scott sat at a table beside the wall and ordered coffee.

Eve walked in and went right to the bar. Mike poured coffee for her and handed her a danish.

"Hi."

Turning, Eve smiled. "Scott. How are you?"

"I'm going to get over it. You?"

Eve was confused, but she only had about 10 minutes before her shift started. "I'm doing fine."

Sitting on a stool, he sighed. "I'm glad. To be honest, I was afraid he'd leave you in the same shape he left her in."

"Who?"

Staring into her eyes, Scott realized she didn't have any idea what he was talking about. "That son-of-a-bitch! He........" Standing, Scott started to walk away.

"Scott? What are you talking about?"

Undecided whether to tell her or not, he just looked at her. "I.....guess...... Eve, I don't think I....."

"What?!" Eve wanted to know what he was talking about.

"Lucy left me."

"She..... left?" It must have been a terrible fight. "Are you sure she's gone? I mean, once she cools off, maybe she-"

"She left me for Kevin." Scott watched her reaction.

What he said sunk into her. "For Kevin? I don't understand."

Scott's anger came out again, this time it was Kevin he was furious with. "Who's playing who, here? Lucy's....." He looked at her, and tried to speak quietly. "Lucy told me she's been seeing Kevin. And she was going back to him."

"But....." Eve had no idea what to say. Lucy had called the lighthouse last night. "She's lying, Scott. You know she lies."

He really didn't want to be the one to tell her this. But if Kevin thought he could play them off each other again, Eve didn't deserve it. Neither did Lucy, no matter how angry he was at her.

"Eve, I've known Lucy too many years. If she was going to lie, she would deny anything was going on. She would have never told me. No, I don't think she was lying. She really thinks she left me to go back to Kevin."

"I don't understand." Trying to figure out what was going on, Eve sat next to Scott. "Why would she tell you that?"

"She told me that because she's been seeing him! Now, I don't know what he's thinking. But Eve, Lucy won't stand for Kevin seeing her on the side for long. I can't believe she'd leave me for that."

"She's not seeing him at all! I don't know why she told you she was, but I've been with him every night! Kevin doesn't want anything to do with her!" Eve was about to really start screaming at him. "I have to be on duty. I have to go."

Watching her leave, Scott really wanted to know what was going on himself.

**Chapter 19**

Kevin wandered the halls of the hospital, looking for Eve. She'd sounded really upset on the phone when she'd told him she needed to see him. Her break was due to start in about 5 minutes.

"Kevin." Eve dragged him into the On Call Room. "I don't know what to do, here. Should I demand to know what's going on? Should I just assume she's lying? She called the house last night! Why?"

"I'm assuming we're talking about Lucy, she called last night. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I don't know whether to slap you, or hunt her down and beat her! That's what's wrong!"

Staring at her, he was speechless.

"Well?" She stepped away from him.

"Well? What?"

"What about Lucy?!"

"I..... I.....don't know....." Kevin had no idea what Eve was talking about. "What about her? I haven't spoken to her. Yes, she called. You were there. But she hasn't called again, and I haven't tried to call her again."

"Then why does she think she's going back to you?"

"WHAT?"

The tears that Eve had been fighting finally won. "She left Scott. Apparently you asked her to come back to you. When were you going to tell me?"

"Eve, I haven't spoken to Lucy in... I don't even know how long. I haven't seen her, I haven't looked for her. I don't want to go back to her, and I don't know why she told Scott I did. I love you. I want to be with you."

Eve didn't look convinced.

"I don't understand what's going on, here." His anger started to get the better of him.

"That makes two of us, Kevin."

"Well, I'm going to find out. I'm going to find her, and make her tell me why she said it." He started for the door. "I don't know what she's gotten herself into this time, but I'm telling you, I'm not getting involved in her plan. Or game, or whatever it is she's pulling on Scott."

Ryan went back to Ferncliff to see Julie. Something about that girl amused him. Kevin only went twice a week, so he shouldn't have a problem. When Julie came in, she looked at him, waiting for him to make the first move. He had been acting way too strangely lately. And four times in one week was a new record for him.

"How are you?" Ryan smiled at her.

"Why don't you tell me?"

Hearing almost a challenging tone in her voice, he leaned against the wall. "Where did we leave off?"

"You wanted to know how being pregnant made me feel. I got the feeling you weren't too happy I didn't want to discuss it."

Ryan eyed the obvious pillow under her shirt. "When is the baby due?"

"I don't have much longer to go. A few more months. I'm going to have a little girl." Julie watched his reaction carefully.

There was something else going on here. Ryan stepped closer to her, and she moved away. "I guess you're excited."

"Of course I am." Julie wondered what 'Kevin' was after.

"You know, people treat pregnant women like they're made of glass. Don't upset them, don't excite them, you know what I mean?" Moving closer, he stopped a few feet from her. "I bet that's how you want people to treat you, right? Leave you alone, don't mess with you, am I getting close? I mean, no one wants anything to happen to your baby."

Before she could move away, Ryan cornered her against the wall. Toying with her, he reached out and pushed on the pillow.

Julie jumped and tried to pull away, but it was too late. Ryan laughed, and it made chills go up her spine. "Why are you using a pillow to fake a pregnancy that's real, Julie?"

The question hung in the air, unanswered.

"There's got to be a reason, what is it? Who's really the father? Not the pillow's father, the baby's father." Ryan knew he had her.

Julie was close to panic. How had she let herself get into this position with him? "None of your business. What are you going to do?"

Shrugging, Ryan smiled at her. "None of your business. What are YOU going to do?"

"Kevin, please, you said you'd help me. What are you going to do?"

"I guess I'm going to have to think about that. Maybe you should think about what you're going to do. Are you ever going to tell me the truth? I told you before, you are so far out of your league with me, you wouldn't even start the race before I cross the finish line. You want to keep trying? Go ahead. Waste you time." He laughed again. "But then, all you have in here is time, right? Invent games, well, you didn't invent them, but you think you can play them, right? Tell them what they want to hear, or tell them what will confuse them. Or, better yet, don't talk to them at all. Try to do the same with me. It's all the same, right? Or is it?" Turning, Ryan walked toward the door. "Think about that, little girl. And think about your little girl." Smiling, he walked out the door.

This was as close to being out of control as Julie ever wanted to be.

Alone, she sat down and put both hands over her baby. "It's okay. Momma won't let Kevin do anything to you."

**Chapter 19 **

After seeing Julie, Ryan headed back to the house. He didn't want to leave Lucy alone too long. When he opened the door, Lucy was sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee.

Crossing the room, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "I hate waking up alone. When are you going to tell her? I'm not going to wait around forever."

He put his hand on the side of her face. "Soon. I promise. Everyone will know soon."

She'd assumed he'd left her to go to the lighthouse. Good. As long as she thought he was leading a double life, he could come and go as he pleased. The fact that she hadn't mentioned the car meant she hadn't tried to leave.

Putting her head on his shoulder, she sighed. "I want everyone to know. You're mine, and I'm not letting go of you again, Doc."

"I want you to know how much I want you." Kissing her, he put his hands inside her shirt.

"You wait a minute! I want to know when! Kevin, I swear if you don't tell her, I will!" Stepping back, she stared at him.

"Okay! Fine. If I don't tell her soon, I'll personally drive you over and let you tell her.

Deal?" He reached for her, and was glad she let him pull her close to him. This time she let him push his hands under her shirt and lift it off of her. As he tried to finish undressing her, she pulled him to the sofa.

While she undressed him, he watched her carefully. She was definitely the most sexually aggressive woman he'd ever known. He could get used to this kind of demanding attention. And the way she looked at him... Shaking his head, he tried to stop thinking about it. She loved Kevin. Not him. Allowing her to push him down on the couch, he smiled as she climbed on top of him.

Closing his eyes, he concentrated on what she was doing. God, she knew how to make him feel good. She knew just where to touch him, to kiss him, and when he thought he was going to lose all control, she moved up his body to kiss him.

Ryan held her hands while she made love to him, thinking of nothing but the intense pleasure he was receiving from her. It had been a long time since he'd been intimate with a woman. And no other woman had ever excited him quite the way she had.

After, she grabbed her clothes and headed upstairs. "Small bathtub, but the shower's big enough for two, and the water's hot. You game?"

Panic rose in his throat and he thought he would throw up. He hadn't taken a shower or bath with a woman since.... "NO!"

Stopping halfway up the stairs, she looked at him. "What's wrong?"

The look on his face told her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think." Running back down, she sat next to him. "Kevin?"

"You're right. You didn't think. Leave me alone." He snapped at her, and she leaned away from him. Forcing a smile, he took her hand. "I'm okay."

Her other hand touched his face, and she kissed him gently. "You sure?"

"You go take a shower, and I'll get something started to eat, okay?" He had to convince her he was all right. The concern on her face was disturbing. She knew. Everything. Yet she was here.

"Okay. I'll only be a few minutes. I love you." Kissing him once more, she went upstairs.

Ryan sat on the sofa alone for a few minutes. He could feel himself becoming confused. It was actually nice to pretend that Lucy really loved him. If only for a short time. He had to keep his mind clear and his priorities straight.

**Chapter 20**

Kevin spent the day looking for Lucy, and with each place he didn't find her, he was getting angrier with her. Would she ever quit playing games with people's lives? Probably not. She'd stopped for a while, but apparently, it had just been that. For a while. His life was off limits, and he intended to tell her that. If he could find her. Her cell phone still wasn't available, she wasn't at the Grille, the hotel, the hospital, Luke's, or the Outback. But neither was Felicia, so he headed for her.

When Felicia opened the door, she was beyond surprised to see Kevin. "What brings you here? And all by yourself?"

"I wish I could say I was here for your company. Actually, I'm looking for Lucy. Have you seen her?"

"I was actually surprised she wasn't with you. She let you out of her sight?"

Stopping, Kevin stared at Felicia. "Why does everyone think I'm with Lucy?"

"You're not? You mean to tell me that you're not with her? Or you're just not admitting it." Mac joined them at the door. "You still didn't tell Eve, did you."

"Tell Eve what?" Kevin felt like he was in an episode of "The Twilight Zone".

"Look, Kevin," Mac sighed. "you probably didn't want her to, but Lucy told us. I don't know what you're up to, but she's given up a lot to be with you."

"Or is that to share you?" Felicia jumped in.

"I'm telling you, I haven't seen Lucy other than the night she stared daggers at me at the Outback. I have no idea why she would tell you she was seeing me. That's why I'm looking for her. You aren't the only ones she's told this, and I want to know why." Kevin was quickly losing what little bit of his temper he'd managed to hold on to.

Felicia stared at him. "Lucy told me that night that you'd called her. That she'd gone to see you and you wanted her back."

Kevin didn't answer, but he's face showed his confusion.

"Now I'm worried. She came here last night, hysterical. She'd told Scott and they'd had this huge fight. He told her he was going to take Serena away from her again. Because of you! I swear, Kevin, that's what she told me. That you were going to leave Eve when she proved to you that she was serious about being with you. She left a message on your machine from here." Felicia didn't know whether to be afraid for Lucy or mad at her.

"I got the message, but I had no idea what it was about. I still don't understand."

"I think the question is" Mac turned to Kevin. "If you're not calling her, or seeing her, who is? Why would she pretend to everyone it was you? Or, is she seeing anyone?"

Kevin and Felicia stared at him. "I mean, we really have no idea what's going on in Lucy's mind. To be honest," Mac almost smiled. "I'm not completely convinced that Lucy always knows what's going on in her mind."

"Mac, you saw her. I'm telling you, the only thing that could make her even consider leaving Scott, not to mention risk losing Serena, is him!" Felicia pointed to Kevin. "She said she was going to Jasmine Island. Try there. If you find her, let us know."

"Why Jasmine Island?" Kevin was still trying to figure out what it all meant.

"She said that's where YOU were taking her. Until you left Eve, of course."

"Of course." Kevin shrugged. "I'm going to head up there. If you hear from her in the meantime, call me."

Driving towards the island, Kevin didn't know whether to be worried or furious. She was messing with his life. But what if someone was messing with hers?


	3. Part 3

**Chapter 21**

"For the tenth time, Lucy, I have to go home tonight. At least for a while. I'll be back, but it will be late."

"I want you to go home and tell Eve to get the hell out!" Lucy was in a full rant. Ryan wished she drink the damn drink. Two drinks and two tranquilizers seemed to do it last night, maybe three tonight.....

"I'm tired of this. I gave up everything for you! What have you done? Once again, the great Dr. Kevin Collins gets off with the easy stuff, and shuts down on the harder things? I'm not going there again!"

Ryan had no idea what that meant, but he wasn't in the mood. He had to go out, and he couldn't let her stop him. It was time to put the pieces of the puzzle out for Kevin. But he had to shut her up. She wouldn't stay here alone in this mode.

Finally, it hit him. It worked before, why not really use it this time? Standing, he pulled her to face him. "You want me to open up with the hard stuff?" Hoping he'd repeated her words correctly, he was relieved when she nodded.

"Fine." Letting go of her, he ran up the stairs. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Digging her ring out, he came down and stood in front of her. "You're right. You did what I asked you to. I know I made promises to you. I'm going to keep them, Lucy. This is yours. I told you I made a mistake, and I meant it. I love you, and I always have. I want you to be my wife." Holding out her ring, he got the response he was looking for.

She began to cry. "I love you. I've always wanted to marry you. We're going to do it this time? Really?"

When he nodded, she pulled him to her by his shirt and kissed him.

Picking up his glass, he handed hers to her. "To us. Forever." He emptied his, and was actually grateful she did the same. There were times he wanted to pretend she was his, and wondered how Kevin had walked away from her. Then, at times like this, he wondered how Kevin had walked away without killing her. He'd joked about a room at the hospital ready and waiting for her. It wasn't completely a joke. He kissed her again. "I want you. Now. Before I go tell Eve to get the hell out of our home."

Lucy pulled him by the hand up the stairs. Knowing by tomorrow afternoon Kevin would be there, Ryan took his time with her, enjoying her body. Lying beside her, he ran his hands all over her, watching her shiver. He made love to her again, savoring every moment of it. Lying on top of her, inside her, with her hands entwined in his hair, Ryan actually felt himself regretting it was about to end. If he could keep her quiet, she was an incredible woman. If she would only stop calling out Kevin's name. It kept reminding him what was really going on.

After, he held her for a few minutes, watching her fall asleep. She should sleep through the night. "I'll be back before morning. I promise."

"Okay." Kissing him once, she rolled over.

**Chapter 22**  
When Kevin pulled up to the house, he saw Lucy's car. The downstairs lights were on, and he went inside. "Lucy?"

No answer.

There were dishes in the sink and glasses on the table, but he stopped when he realized Lucy's shirt was on the floor next to the table. "What the hell is she up to?"

It looked like she'd been staying there. But why? And with who? Quietly, Kevin went upstairs. When he entered the bedroom Lucy was in, he was expecting her to be there, but he was still surprised. Curled up under the blanket, she was sound asleep.

"Lucy?" He shook her gently. "Lucy?" When she didn't respond, he shook her a little harder. "Lucy! Come on, wake up."

She rolled over, but didn't open her eyes.

"Lucy!" Kevin began to worry. She didn't sleep this soundly. Even if she was exhausted. Sitting on the bed, he pulled her up. "Come on, Lucy. Wake up. Look at me."

Finally, she looked at him, not really focusing. "I thought you weren't going to be back till late. I'm tired." She pulled away from him and lay back down.

A thought suddenly occurred to Kevin, but he shook his head. It couldn't be. There was no way. Was there? She seemed to have been expecting him BACK. But he'd never been there. One thing he knew, he had to wake her up and get some answers out of her. After shaking her for a few more minutes, he realized there was something wrong with her. He had no idea what was going on, and he didn't want to make a move until he did.

Knowing he wasn't going to get any answers out of her, he began to search the house.

He remembered the glasses on the table, and he went back downstairs. She just might have drunk too much. The bottle was still half full, and there wasn't another one in the trash. He began to wonder if she'd been drugged. Running back up the stairs, he grabbed her and shook her. "Lucy! Come on! Wake up and look at me!"

Her eyes opened again. "What?"

"What are you doing here?"

His question confused her. "Sleeping. At least I was." Her words were slurred, and he knew without a doubt she'd been drugged. Holding her face with his hand, he looked at her eyes. They weren't focused.

"Kevin, what's wrong? She throw a fit?" Putting her hand on the side of his face, she leaned to him and kissed him. "I love you. It'll be okay. Come back to bed." She lay back down, and as she did, Kevin looked at her hand.

When he saw her ring, he knew. He could barely breath, and the absolute horror of what had happened sunk in. "Oh, God. Lucy." His desire to wake her faded. Let her sleep as long as she wanted. The longer he could wait to tell her this, the better right now. When she realized what she'd.... what he'd.... Kevin couldn't put the thoughts together.

Then it occurred to him. She'd expected him back. Not him. Ryan. He'd come back to climb in bed with... Touching her head, he knew he had to get her out of there before that. Wrapping the blanket around her, he started to pick her up. When he heard the car, he put her down and went downstairs. Ryan wasn't going to touch her again.

Ryan saw Kevin's car and panicked. Kevin was there, so Lucy had to know. They could both be waiting to ambush him. Turning off the car, he went around the back of the house and went in by way of the kitchen. Waiting in the living room for him, at the bottom of the stairs, was Kevin.

"A little early, but expected. Not to mention welcome." Walking out of the kitchen, Ryan waved.

Shaking from anger, Kevin took a step towards him. "What did you do to her?"

Ryan smiled. "Everything. She is a wild one. But then, you know that, don't you."

An image of Lucy wrapped around his brother make Kevin's stomach turn. But she was upstairs, next to unconscious. "I mean what did you give her?"

"Multiple orgasms. But," Ryan snapped his fingers, laughing at Kevin's reaction. "let me guess, that wasn't what you were talking about, right? Relax. I gave her a few tranquilizers. She'll be fine. I just needed some time to get out and do some things. And I didn't want her to look for me. I mean you."

"Why? Why her?" Kevin had so many questions he didn't know where to begin.

"Because you still consider her yours. I've watched you for months, now. Every time you are near her, you try to inconspicuously stare at her. I saw how angry the sight of her and Baldwin made you. So you've been avoiding her. It's hard as hell to follow two people who won't go near each other." Keeping the door close to him, he took a few steps on the edge of the room. "But it sure makes it easy to play with them. As far as she goes, I called her and asked her to meet me. It took about five minutes to figure out how much she still loves you. Half that to get her to leave Baldwin. Just made her a few promises. Gave her back the ring you so cruelly took away from her. Told her she could have you. After that, she was as easy as I'd heard she was." Ryan was rewarded for his efforts with Kevin's rage.

"Why couldn't you stay dead? I watched you die!"

"How many times? Don't you know by now that you can't kill the boogeyman? Isn't that what everyone thinks I am? It's so easy to convince people of what they want to believe. You wanted to believe it was me you saw die, just as badly as Lucy wanted to believe you wanted her back."

"Who was at the funhouse?"

Ryan shrugged. "He was he was a 6 foot tall Roman Candle."

"Ryan!"

"I really have no idea who he was. He was lucky enough to resemble us, and stupid enough to hitch hike. I'd had him tied up. I knew I would have to disappear. The plan was to take Georgie. But..." He pouted at Kevin. "You never let me have any fun." Pacing back and forth in front of the door, Ryan began to laugh again. "But I had fun with Lucy. You couldn't stop me there!" Folding his arms across his chest, he grinned at Kevin. "And I had lots of fun. Want to hear all about it? What I did to her? What she did to me? The way I made her scream-"

Kevin lost control. Running across the room, he charged Ryan. Both men fell into the wall and landed on the floor. For a few seconds, Ryan was actually surprised. Recovering quickly, Ryan pushed Kevin back and hit him. Catching a glancing blow to the side of his head, he moved away from Ryan and stood. In one move, Ryan stood and ran into Kevin, who fell into the coffee table. Before he could get to his feet, Ryan ran for the stairs.

Knowing he was headed for Lucy, Kevin went after him, and caught him halfway up the stairs. "You'll never touch her again!"

Kevin tried to drag Ryan back down the stairs, but Ryan was not about to give up. Struggling against Kevin, he pushed with his legs. Kevin fell back down to the first floor and lay there, stunned. It was the chance Ryan needed. "You're not going to stop me this time." Taking him by the shirt, Ryan slammed Kevin's head into the floor. The floor shook from the impact, and Kevin's eyes closed.

**Chapter 23**  
When Kevin opened his eyes, the first thing he realized was that he couldn't move his arms. Slowly, he began to remember where he was. And what happened.

As his eyes cleared, Ryan laughed. "You're awake. For a few minutes there, I was afraid I'd done some serious damage."

"Lucy."

"Oh, she's still upstairs asleep. I wanted you awake before I went upstairs and got her. I wanted you to know what I was doing with her."

Struggling against the ropes that held him in the chair, Kevin glared at Ryan.

"Keep trying. You might get lucky. But not as Lucy- I mean lucky- as I am." He laughed. "With Lucy." The last thing he did before going upstairs was put a piece of tape over Kevin's mouth. "The only one I want to scream is her."

When Ryan went upstairs, he stared at Lucy. He really wanted to wake her up and make love to her with Kevin downstairs, but he couldn't risk it. Kevin would be ready to tear his own arm off to get out of the ropes and save her. There was always a chance he could get free, and Ryan didn't want to risk being caught off guard. So for a while, Ryan watched her sleep. What was going through Kevin's mind made him laugh. Finally he sighed. It was time to put all the characters of his game together. Shaking her, he whispered in her ear. "Lucy?"

Her eyes opened, and she looked at him.

"Come on. You need to get up."

"What time is it?" She was still a little groggy.

"Late. I just got back."

Sitting up, she reached for him. "And?"

"You're not going to believe what's happened." No lie there.

"I hope it's good." Touching his face, she pulled him to kiss her.

Ryan had to use every bit of self-restraint he had not to lay her down on the bed. Kevin was waiting. "Come on. Get up and get dressed. We're getting out of here." Standing, he waited for her to get dressed.

She moved slowly at first, trying to shake off the drug-induced sleepiness. "We're leaving? Really? You told her?" Lucy was having a hard time believing it. "Does this mean you...."

"I'm yours. Come on. I want to show you something." Walking down the stairs beside her, Ryan blocked her view of the living room. As they became visible to Kevin, he stopped her and smiled. "Come here."

Leaning against the wall, Lucy closed her eyes and kissed him passionately. "I can't wait to tell everyone."

"Well, you might want to hold off on that." Ryan led her downstairs and stopped, letting her see Kevin for the first time.

Lucy stopped, and looked at them. First one, then the other. It took almost 30 seconds for her to be able to put the pieces together. As realization crossed her face, all the blood drained from it. Unable to breathe, she let Ryan put her on the sofa.

"This isn't possible. This isn't happening." Lucy whispered to herself, staring at Kevin, who felt completely helpless.

"Oh, it is, Lucy. I know you haven't seen Kevin in a while, but...." Ryan looked at the complete devastation he'd caused and smiled. "See, I really didn't know what else to do. My first thought was to just kill him. Nah, too easy. And painless." Pacing between them, Ryan looked from one to the other. "Then I thought about ruining his life. But how? And when everyone found out it was me, there'd be no real damage. And that was the goal. To hurt him. And for him to know it was me."

Kneeling in front of her, he touched her face. When she pulled away, he laughed. "Then there was you. I saw the way he still looked at you. The whole time he was saying he didn't care. I watched you with Baldwin. Looking over his shoulder to see what Kevin was up to. And it hit me." Taking her hand, he held it tightly so she couldn't pull away. "What happened between us can't be fixed. I've kissed you, I've held you in my arms, I've made love to you, hell, you've made love to me. You gave up Baldwin, and that kid of yours. For him. This isn't something that can go away with blaming the evil twin. Oh, you can blame me, but it can't go away. Live with that, Kevin. Live with the fact that I took everything away from her through you!"

Kevin was struggling against the ropes. Still laughing, Ryan pulled the tape off his mouth. "You wanted to say something?"

"I'll kill you. I swear, Ryan, I'll kill you for what you've done to her." If Kevin had been screaming, Ryan would have been amused. He wasn't. Kevin's voice was quiet, and, for the first time, Ryan was aware that Kevin might be capable of it.

"You're not going to get the chance. I have to go." Looking at Lucy, he leaned towards her and whispered in her ear. "You're not going to stop me. Do you really want everyone to know what you've done?"

Lucy was scaring Kevin. She hadn't said a word, looked at him, or moved since she realized what was going on. Her face was white, she was barely breathing, and her entire body was trembling. From where Kevin was, it looked as if she were actually going into shock.

Touching her face one more time, Ryan went out the door.

**Chapter 24**  
When Ryan left, Lucy still didn't move.

"Lucy! I have to stop him! Help me get these ropes off!"

Continuing to stare at the ground, she didn't respond. Kevin began to really worry about her. When he tried again, he struggled to keep his voice quiet. "Lucy, look at me. Come on, I need you to look at me."

Her eyes finally met his for a moment, but then dropped to the floor again. But he was getting somewhere with her. "Lucy, listen to me. Look at me."

She finally looked at him.

"I need you to untie me. Okay? I need you to help me with the rope. I need you to stand up, and come here."

Slowly, she stood, and walked to him. After she untied one arm, he quickly untied the other and jumped to his feet. He was about halfway to the door when Lucy grabbed his arm. "No!"

"I have to stop him!"

"What are you going to do? Kill him? What will that do? Have him arrested? No! It never happened. Do you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED!"

The shrill quality of her voice told Kevin how close to complete hysteria she was. He needed to stay calm. "Lucy, I can't let him go. He'll hurt someone else. I have to call Mac."

"No! I'm going to take a shower, and this never happened. It didn't." She was staring at the ground and shaking her head.

Kevin took her arms gently and led her back to the sofa. "Listen to me. I want you to focus, okay? It..... it happened. I'm sorry. I wish I could have found out sooner. He hurt you, and I know it. But you need to stay focused here, okay? I need to stop him. Stay here. My phone is in the car, and I need to call Mac."

"No." She started to shake her head. "I don't want anyone to know. I don't want to know. It never happened. I... I need to take a shower."

"He could kill someone, Lucy. He has to be stopped. Stay here. Don't move, okay? I'll be right back. I promise."

He walked away from her slowly, and tears finally slid down her face. It wasn't until Kevin was out of her sight he finally let his anger get the better of him. Almost breaking the phone dialing, he was shaking by the time Mac answered.

"Mac?"

"Did you find her?"

"Yes."

"Kevin? What's wrong?"

Kevin's throat tightened, and he could barely speak. "It was Ryan."

"Ryan?! How? Where?"

"Lucy..... Ryan..... She didn't know."

Mac was silent for a moment. "How is she?"

"How do you think she is?!" Kevin started to shout, but remembered she could probably hear him. "It hasn't really hit her yet, but not good. We have to catch him."

"How much of a head start does he have?"

"Too much. It's a long story, but he's been gone a few minutes already. And I can't leave her to go after him."

"Okay, I'll get a team out there. Keep it by the book. We'll do the usual. APB, search, I-"

"Can you keep the team to a minimum? For obvious reasons, Lucy's not going to talk about this. Do me a favor and send a car to the lighthouse. I don't think he'll go there, but Eve's there alone, and...."

"Done. I'm on my way." Mac hung up.

Returning to the living room, Kevin found it empty. Almost in a panic, he ran up the stairs. When he heard the shower running, he sighed. After listening for a moment to be sure she couldn't hear him, he dialed the lighthouse. "Eve?"

"Kevin? Where are you?"

"It's a long story. I found out what's going on."

"What?" Eve's voice took on a wary quality, like she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he was about to say.

"It... Scott told you Lucy left him for me. She did. But it wasn't me, but she didn't know it. I-"

"Kevin!" Eve sounded exasperated. "You're starting to sound like Lucy! What's going on?"

"Ryan." Kevin sighed.

"What? You mean, Lucy and Ryan? Oh my God. What did-"

"Eve, I'm telling you this because he could head your way. This will NOT turn into a free-for-all at Lucy's expense. I'm on Jasmine Island. Ryan got away. Mac's on his way here, and he's sending a car over there, just to keep an eye out for him. I don't think he'll turn up there. He's had way too much fun here to risk getting caught now."

"Kevin, I'm not being crude. How is she?"

"Not good. I've got to go. I'll call you later." Hanging up, he waited for Lucy to come out.

**Chapter 25**  
Mac got out of the car and walked through the front door. "Kevin?"

Coming down the stairs, Kevin met him in the living room. "He took off about an hour ago."

Walking to the door, Mac told his men to take the three different roads Ryan could have taken. After most of them were gone, Mac went back to Kevin. "Where is Lucy?"

"She just turned the water off in the shower. She's been in there since I called you."

Mac looked worried. "Will she be okay?"

"I don't know. Mac, you know what's happened. Right now, she wants to deny the whole thing." Looking towards the stairs, he shrugged. "I'm going to go see how she is."

When he reached the top of the stairs, he knocked softly on the door. "Lucy?"

She didn't answer.

"Lucy?" Opening the door slowly, he looked inside. She was sitting on the bed with the blanket wrapped around her. The psychiatrist in him took over. Sitting next to her, he looked at her for a moment. Her eyes were on the floor, and tears were still sliding down her face. "Mac's downstairs."

"I know." She whispered.

"He wants to know what happened."

Shaking her head, she pulled the blanket tighter around herself. "No."

"Lucy, he needs to talk to you. You don't have to tell him.....everything."

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"He just wants to know what you know about....." Kevin didn't know what to say to her. "Please? Just for a minute?"

Sighing, she nodded. "I have to get dressed."

Standing, he went toward the door.

"Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"Who.... who else is here?"

"A few of his men."

She shook her head. "I'm not going down there. I'll talk to Mac. I can't. You don't understand. I can't. I can't tell anyone what I did. How stupid I was. It didn't happen.

That's the only way I can..." Starting to cry, she put her hand over her face.

Looking at her, Kevin was at a total loss. He had no idea what to say to her. There was nothing he could say. Ryan had taken her feelings for him and used them to completely destroy the life she'd managed to find without him. "How about if I make everyone else leave?"

Nodding, she wiped her eyes.

When Kevin came back upstairs, she was dressed, but sitting in the same place. "Lucy? Mac's the only one down there. Come on."

Not moving, she continued to stare at the floor.

Gently, he took her hands. "Look at me. Come on. Mac just wants to talk to you."

She still didn't respond to him, but she let him take her downstairs.

Mac couldn't hide his shock when he saw her. Kevin was right. She wasn't good. "Lucy, I wish we'd known. I wish one of us had said something to Kevin before it..."

Pulling away from Kevin, she sat on the sofa and stared at the floor, not saying a word.

Kevin sat next to her while Mac sat on the chair facing her. "I hate to do this, Lucy, but I have to ask. Did he say anything to give you any idea where he's headed?"

Finally looking at Mac, Lucy shook her head. "He was supposed to be.......We were..... I thought..." Tears came and she couldn't finish.

Leaning towards her, Mac kept his voice low. "Lucy, what he did to you was...... We want to get him for this. But you have to help us. There are laws against what he did."

"Laws? You mean as in press charges?" Lucy was headed for complete hysteria. "You mean have him arrested, and tell a courtroom full of people what I....And I... No." Shaking her head, she stared at Mac. "You can't make me tell anyone. As far as I'm concerned, this didn't happen. I can forget."

Kevin and Mac looked at each other.

Leaning closer to her, Kevin spoke softly. "Okay. You don't want to tell anyone. That's okay. You have to do whatever you need to do to get through this. But we have to find him. He will hurt someone else. And then, if you change your mind, you can-"

"I won't. Besides, you wouldn't want me to."

Kevin was confused. "I wouldn't want you to?"

Finally staring at him, Lucy shook her head. "You're a smart man, Kevin. Figure it out. Every time something has happened with you and Ryan, the newspapers have had a field day with the twin thing. Comparing the two of you. Well, now they have... I..." She took a deep breath. "I've slept with both of you. Now I can't believe you'd want.... That public any more than I do."

Knowing she was right, Kevin looked at Mac. He didn't want that, but... "Lucy, you don't want to press charges because you don't want to, that's your decision. But don't..."

She'd looked away from him, so he gently turned her face to his. "Don't let this go because of me. Whatever happens, happens. You need to do what is right for you. This happened to you. Not me."

"I hate to say this, but she's right." Mac looked at both of them. "If... this ever went to court, Ryan would have a lawyer. And the lawyer's job would be to prove that Lucy knew who she..... was with." He sighed. "And that would include details that neither of you would want made public."

Lucy's eyes met his, and he felt terrible. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I wish there were another way to handle this."

Shaking her head, she bit her lip before speaking. "Not.... your fault. I did this."

"No." Kevin took her hand. "You didn't do this! Ryan did this. You have to remember that, Lucy. Ryan hurt you. He lied to you, he used you, the way you feel about me. I can't change it, I can't fix it. I wish to God I could." The whole thing started to cave in on him and he struggled to control himself. Lucy had given up everything that mattered to her to be with him. Ryan was right. This couldn't be taken back, or fixed. Ryan destroyed her life. Because she loved him.

Mac suddenly felt like he was intruding. "I need to go. I'll keep in touch. Lucy, where are you going to be?"

She shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it. I guess I'll be here for a few days. If that's all right."

Kevin shook his head. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

Her eyes dropped to the floor again. "I don't know. I'll make a few calls. I'll find somewhere."

"I didn't mean it that way. If you want to stay here, you're welcome to. You could move in, if that's what you wanted. I just meant that it might not be good for you, considering....."

The hysteria she'd been fighting finally got the better of her, and she stood, glaring at both men. "Where do you think I have to go? DV's at the hotel, I'm NOT dealing with him right now. What am I supposed to do, Kevin? Go back to Scott and say 'sorry, wrong brother'? I don't have anywhere to go!"

"You're welcome to stay with us until you figure out what you want to do." Mac shrugged. "Felicia will want to help, and the girls' would love it, they're crazy about you."

Stopping, Lucy almost smiled at Mac. "I appreciate it. I really do. But I don't think I could be around.... I need time. I need to be alone." She ran up the stairs.

Mac looked at Kevin. "I need to go. I'm going to stay in touch with the State Police. I want to stay on top of this. But I definitely think being alone is the last thing she needs."

Kevin nodded. "I'll stay with her for a while. But I'm not to wild about Eve being alone, either."

"I'll check with the car at the lighthouse. They'll keep an eye on Eve for you. You watch out for her." Mac nodded up the stairs. "I'll have a car drive by here periodically as long as she stays here."

"Thanks, Mac."

**Chapter 26**  
After Mac left, Kevin went upstairs. He wasn't surprised to hear the shower running. Sitting on the bed, he waited for her. It was almost 30 minutes before she appeared again. Wrapped in a towel, she stopped at the door and stared at him.

"I'll stay as long as you need me to."

Shaking her head, she walked to him. "You won't help, believe me." A look that was almost hurt crossed his face, and she continued. "I didn't mean it that way. I just... I don't know. This whole thing was about you. Well, not really, I guess, but...." She sighed. "It just won't help me to have you here, waiting for me to tell you it's okay to go back to Eve."

It was his turn to look away. She was right. Before he could say anything, she picked up her clothes and walked to him. "Here." She handed him her ring. When she spoke again, her voice was shaking. "I know he has some other things of yours. You might want to look."

After she left the room, he held her ring and stared at it. So much had happened. He remembered the day he gave it to her. How happy they'd both been. And now... He shook his head. This wasn't getting them anywhere. He looked around and only found the rest of the wedding set. A brief thought of fear went through his mind that Ryan would have actually married her with his name if Kevin hadn't found her.

As he walked down the stairs, he heard the radio playing. The window above it was open, and she was out on the porch, curled up in a chair.

Standing inside, Kevin watched her. Tears were sliding down her face, and she stared into the darkness of the island. Her chin rested on her knees while she hugged her legs against her own body.

Kevin stood in the doorway, not knowing if he should go to her or not. Her earlier words replayed themselves in his mind. This whole thing was about him. Suddenly he felt like the only thing he could do by being there was hurt her worse.

Finally, she saw him. Wiping her eyes, she sat up.

Staying a few feet from her, he sighed. "I don't feel like I'm doing you any good by being here. But I don't like the thought of you being here alone."

"If you're worried about me, don't. You haven't for months, don't break a pattern now. If you're worried about Ryan, he won't come back here." Her eyes dropped and she whispered. "He already got what he wanted from me. Killing me now would be pointless." Turning from him, she finished so quietly he almost didn't hear her. "And he doesn't do favors."

Reaching for her, he flinched when she pulled away from his touch. "I do worry about you. I never stopped caring about you. I can't begin to tell you what's going through my mind where Ryan-"

"Then don't. It doesn't matter." Heading for the door, she kept her back to him. "I told you I need to be alone. I'm sure. Okay? Thank you for coming, but..."

Leaving him outside, she walked to the stairs.

Watching her disappear up the stairs, he finally did what she asked. He left.

After Kevin left, Lucy had taken another shower and gone back outside. When the sun came up, she was exhausted but every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Ryan and Kevin in the living room. At that moment, she didn't think she'd ever sleep again. When she heard the car out front, she jumped to her feet and ran to the door. Opening the door, she looked at Victor.

"Oh, Lucy. I'm so sorry."

"I take it Kevin told you the whole story?"

"I hope you aren't upset he told me."

She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head. "I guess you had to know that Ryan is still around."

The lost look in her eyes almost physically hurt Victor. He stepped towards her and when he put his arms out, she leaned against him. "Is there anything I can do?"

"This is nice. I really needed it." Hugging him back, she didn't want him to let go. Finally, she stepped back. "Come on in."

Victor accepted the coffee mug Lucy offered and stared at her. "Do you have any idea what you're going to do? I know this is way to soon for you to make any permanent decisions, but..."

She sighed. "I don't know. The first thing I have to do is find a place to live. I don't want to go to the hotel, DV's there. And he's not someone I want to deal with right now. I need to get up, get myself together, and go to the office. If I concentrate on something else, maybe something will come to me." Standing, Lucy started to wander around the living room.

Following her, Victor watched her. "What are you looking for?"

"My phone. It was in my purse the last time I saw it. But it's not there. I..." A thought occurred to her. "I bet he took it."

"It makes sense. He wouldn't have wanted you to call anyone. Here." He handed her his phone.

"Never mind. I'm just going to go to Jax. I need to get out of here." Running upstairs for a few minutes, she returned, ready to leave. "Victor, would you like to have dinner? I mean, if you can get away, I just.... I can't-"

"I would love it, Lucy." Walking out the door with her, he hugged her again. The fact that she still loved him after both of his sons had completely tortured her amazed him.

When she tried to start her car, Ryan's handiwork struck again. Fortunately, it took Victor only a few minutes to figure out what he'd done. But it also told Victor how methodical Ryan had been in his quest to completely destroy Lucy. He'd succeeded in isolating her so she wouldn't figure out what was really happening. Watching her drive away, Victor wondered if she was ever going to recover.

**Chapter 28**

Eve was sitting on the sofa when Kevin came downstairs. When he'd come home last night, his face told her he didn't want to talk. So she'd left him alone, knowing that at some point he would tell her what was happening.

After calling Mac, and finding out that there was no trace of Ryan, Kevin sat next to her and closed his eyes.

"Kevin, I know this is killing you. Not knowing where he is, or what he's going to do next. But that is exactly what he wants."

"There's a lot more to it than that. I can't believe he...... You have no idea what he's done to Lucy. As long as I live, I will never forget the look on her face when she realized what was going on. I have serious doubts that she will ever get over it."

"I know. But it wasn't you. Ryan did this. You've been hurt so much by him. And he wants you to feel guilty, like this was somehow your fault. It's not. You had nothing to do with this."

"Neither did Lucy. I know how you feel about her, but she didn't deserve this. She had a life, Eve, she had Scott, and Serena. Ryan took that away from her."

Shaking her head, Eve tried to find a way to say this without sounding vindictive. "He lied to her. He used her, and he hurt her. But he did NOT make her leave Scott. If she'd really loved Scott, she wouldn't have left him."

Opening his eyes, Kevin stared at her.

"I don't mean it to sound as bad as I'm sure it does to you. But she made the decision to leave Scott."

"Because she thought I wanted to marry her! Ryan gave her back her engagement ring!"

Eve was stunned, but not by the fact that Ryan used it. "How did he get it?"

"He's been here." Kevin realized Eve hadn't known he'd kept the rings. "I had the rings in a drawer. He found them, took them, and gave them back to Lucy to get her to come to him."

"I didn't know you still had them." And her tone told him she wasn't thrilled to find out.

"I don't know why I still did. Now I wish I'd gotten rid of them."

Touching his face, Eve tried to get him to understand. "You had no idea what was going to happen. This is not your fault. Don't let him get to you. That's what he wants."

"I know you're right. It doesn't mean I can forget what he's done. I want to help her, but I think my presence hurts her more then helps her right now. I wish Mac would come up with something. As long as he's on the loose, no one I care about is safe." Taking her hands, Kevin pulled her to him. "That means you, too. I don't want you alone. You don't know him."

"I'm not scared. I know you'll protect me." Laughing, she kissed him.

But he wasn't amused.

"Kevin, Mac keeps sending cars by here, and you're here. Ryan would be a fool to try to get to me, now that you know he's alive. And from what you've told me, he's a lot of things, but he's not a fool."

"No, he's not. He's borderline brilliant. That's what makes him so dangerous." He realized it was pointless. Eve had no idea what Ryan was. And he couldn't convince her. So he had to protect her.

**Chapter 29**

Victor pulled up to the address Lucy had given him over the phone. Her voice had sounded much stronger when she'd called him earlier, and she'd told him to meet her at this address.

When he pulled into the driveway, she came out, smiling. "Come on in. You won't believe what I've done."

"Lead the way." It thrilled Victor to see her smile.

"I ran into Jasper Jax this afternoon. And it hit me. When Brenda.....died, she left him this cottage. I started thinking about it. She moved in here after she got out of the hospital. When she was trying to start her life over. Clear her head, and all that. I realized I'm in the same situation. Sort of. I mean, she was trying to get over Sonny, and she didn't want to run to Jax. She wanted to be on her own." Stopping in the middle of the living room, she stared at Victor. "She wanted to learn how to be herself without a man in her life. And, to be honest, I'm kind of in the same position." She sighed, and before Victor could reply, she continued. "Lucy Coe without a man. Novel concept. But it's time, you know? I mean, Brenda was so young......I probably should have gotten to this point years ago, but I've never been that strong, you know?"

"Lucy," Victor finally interrupted her. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever known."

"Oh, sure, when I have a man to run to. It's a whole different story when I'm alone. But, anyway, I started talking to Jax, and I remembered this place. He hasn't been here since Robin moved out. He can't bring himself to part with it, but he can't stand coming here, either. So he leased it to me on a month-to-month basis. I'm putting all of Brenda's things in storage until Jax can deal with it."

"How about you? You were close to Brenda, too."

Lucy sighed. "Actually, I feel closer to her by being here. I thought I understood her then. Now I feel like I know exactly what she was going through."

"I think if it's going to help you, then this is what you need to do." Victor nodded and held out his arm. "Now, can I get the grand tour?"

"Definitely. How about going shopping with me tomorrow? Jax said I could use the furniture, but I want to make this place mine, you know? A few things of hers here and there is nice, but I need a place that's all mine. Why don't we go shopping and do lunch tomorrow? Bring Mary! I'd love to have her opinion."

"Mary knows Ryan is alive, but she doesn't know what's happened to you. I didn't think it was my place to tell her."

"But it was Kevin's to tell you?" She shook her head. "I'm sorry. That didn't come out right. It's okay with me that Kevin told you, I'm glad. But..."

"He didn't ask you. I understand. I don't think he was trying to betray your confidence. He thought maybe I could help you. To be honest with you, I'm surprised you even want to see me."

"Why?" Lucy was shocked.

"Well, let's see. I have two sons. They have both gone out of their way to hurt you in the worst ways imaginable. And I couldn't stop them."

"Victor," Standing in front of him, she tried to stop the tears that filled her eyes. "You are the one person I've always known would be here. No matter what happened, no matter what I did. You always held my hand, told me you loved me, and you always accepted me. Even when everyone else hated me. You can't imagine how much that means to me."

"You have no idea what you mean to me, Lucy. No matter what. You have me. And now you have Mary. She doesn't know you that well, but I'm sure she'll grow to love you the way I do."

"Don't be too sure, Victor. I'm not that easy to love." She shrugged, and began to really cry.

"Of course you are." Hugging her, Victor stroked her hair like he would a child. "You are the most loving person I've ever known. Anyone that loves as deeply as you do is easy for me to love. You're family to me, Lucy. It didn't matter to me if Kevin married you or not. I mean, I wanted him to, but I still always thought of you as my daughter." He didn't mean to, but his words made her cry harder. "Come on. Let's get out of here and get some dinner. Tomorrow, you, me, and Mary will work on making this adorable house truly yours. Okay?"

Wiping her eyes, she smiled. "Yes. You can tell her what's going on. I don't want to relive it, but..."

"As long as it's okay with you."

Nodding, she followed him out the door.


	4. Part 4

Kevin had gone to PCPD to talk to Mac. Partly because he wanted to help, partly because he had to feel like he was doing something besides sitting around waiting for Ryan to strike next. A squad car was at the lighthouse, which where Eve had insisted on staying. As far as she was concerned, Ryan wasn't going to get the satisfaction of disrupting her life. Kevin smiled at how determined she was, but he also made it a point to be sure it wouldn't get her killed.

His cell phone rang. "Hello?"

Eve spoke quickly. "Hey, it's me. I have a problem, that I think you should handle."

"What?"

"Well there is a truck here, with two men, and all of Lucy's things from the firehouse. What do I tell them? Hey, I don't want this! Kevin! They're trying to give me Sigmund!"

Almost laughing out loud at the mental picture that formed in his mind, Kevin answered her.

"I'll call Lucy and see what she wants to do with him. I'm sure she hasn't talked to Scott. I'll call you right back." Hanging up the phone, he dialed Lucy's cell. It rang several times before a familiar voice answered.

"Hi, Kevin, nice of you to call. But, you were looking for Lucy, weren't you? I just love this caller ID function. I would have never known it was you."

"Where is she?"

"How should I know? I have her phone. I don't have her. What, you lost track of her again? How is she, by the way?" Ryan was surprised to realize he really wanted to know.

"How do you think she is? Where are you?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm going to tell you where you can just come down and get me. Do I have stupid written on my forehead? I think not. Just know that I am. And make yourself crazy wondering where. Bye!"

After Ryan hung up on him, Kevin dialed Jax. Don told him that Lucy was with Victor. So he dialed Victor's number. Victor answered, then gave the phone to Lucy.

"Hi, Kevin." Her voice sounded wary.

"I just called your cell."

"Ryan took it."

"I know. I just talked to him."

Inhaling sharply, Lucy looked at Victor and Mary. "What did he say?"

Her tone told him she was terrified. "Nothing. I didn't tell you to scare you. I told you so you can get it disconnected."

"I didn't think about it. Thanks. It that it?"

"No." He wasn't sure how to go about this. "Eve just called me. There is a truck at the lighthouse. From Scott."

She didn't answer.

"Lucy?"

"I'm thinking. Can I call there and talk to them?"

"Of course."

"Okay, bye." She hung up before he could answer. When she dialed the lighthouse, Eve answered. Lucy took a deep breath before speaking. "Kevin told me to speak to the movers."

There was a long moment of silence before a man answered. "Yeah?"

Giving him the address to the cottage, she instructed him to not tell Eve where he was taking her things. He took the address, then told her in no uncertain terms that Sigmund was not welcome back in the truck.

"It's only ten miles."

"No way. The duck stays here. The guy at the firehouse tipped me $40 to take him here. End of the road."

Victor tapped Lucy's shoulder. "Leave him there. I'll go get him and meet you at the cottage."

Smiling, Lucy spoke to the phone. "Let me talk to Eve again."

"What?" Eve sounded frustrated.

"Victor is going to come by and get Sigmund. Just put him out back until he gets there. Please."

Sighing, Eve agreed to keep Sigmund until Victor came for him.

Hanging up, Lucy turned to Victor and Mary. "I need to get over there.

I'll meet the two of you there?"

"We'll be there with duck in hand." Victor hugged her again.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

By the time Victor and Mary got to the lighthouse, Kevin was back. 

"How is she?" Kevin approached them.

"As well as can be expected. She's trying to get on with her life." Scooping Sigmund into his arms, Victor started towards the door.

"Wait! Victor, where is she?"

Victor studied him for a moment before replying. "She found a place to stay, and she's okay. That doesn't mean she's ready to face you. I don't mean to make it sound like she's angry. She's not. At least not with you. But when she's ready for you to know where she is, she'll let you know."

After they left, Kevin looked at Eve. "And the movers wouldn't tell you where they were taking her things?"

"Kevin, for the last time, she told them not to tell me. It's obvious to me she doesn't want to see you. Why isn't it obvious to you?"

Eve could see how much that remark stung, but it was the truth. She wasn't too thrilled about how much that fact bothered Kevin.

A few days later, Lucy decided it was time to tell Scott what was going on. She was shaking by the time she reached the firehouse. Deliberately going while Serena was at school was not what she wanted to do, but the scene that she was sure was going to take place would not be good for her.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

When Scott opened the door, he started to close it again. 

"Scott, wait. Please."

"Why? What more could we possibly have to say to each other?"

"We've been friends for too many years to let it end like this." Stepping in the door, she made sure he couldn't shut it.

"I really don't want to see you right now."

"Too bad, Pal. I have a few things I need to tell you." Tears came, and she shrugged. "Actually, you'll probably figure I got what I deserved."

Scott had seen her cry before. It didn't phase him any more. "I really don't want to hear that Kevin changed his mind again."

"He didn't. To be honest, he didn't change his mind in the first place."

Scott was confused, but still too angry to care. "I don't want to hear about your love life, Lucy.

What I really want is for you to leave."

"Scott, please. Just listen to me."

"I don't want to. I want you to turn around, and go. I don't care if it's to Kevin, or the moon! Just get out of here."

"I want to see Serena."

Shaking his head, Scott pushed her out the door. "That little girl, that you claim you care so much about, has been crying since you left us. You've done enough, Lucy. You've hurt me before. More than once. I always understood that was just you. But now you've hurt Serena. Something I thought you'd never do. And I'm done with you. Get out, Lucy." He slammed the door, and could hear her crying on the other side. Sighing, he went upstairs. He knew that he would have to let Lucy see Serena sooner or later. But let her think about what she'd done.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Luke wiped the bar down and joined Lucy at a table in the corner. "Is today the day you're going to finally tell me what's going on?" 

"What?"

"In the last month, you've become a regular fixture around here. I get the message that Baldwin is no longer a concern, but why? What happened?"

Lucy had been debating telling him what happened for a couple weeks. But she'd always chickened out. Felicia and Mac had been incredibly supportive, but she still felt like she'd done something incredibly stupid. Victor had been a godsend, he'd come to see her almost everyday. But there was something that she couldn't tell any of them. Not until she was sure. And she was also afraid of knowing for sure. The queasy feeling that she'd been feeling all day took over. Standing, she ran to the bathroom.

Once she began to get sick, her knees started to shake and she couldn't get up. After almost 10 minutes, Luke knocked on the door. "Lucy? You alive?"

"Luke! Can you help me?"

Worry stamped on his face, he picked her up and carried her to the office. "Okay. Spill it! What's going on?"

Crying, she told him the whole story. When she told Luke that it had been Ryan she'd left Scott for, Luke sat next to her and held her hand. "Oh god, babe. Why didn't you tell me sooner? You've been alone all this time?"

Nodding, she leaned back and closed her eyes, willing herself to not get sick again. "I feel so stupid. I believed every word he said! I believed Kevin wanted me back."

Pulling her to him, Luke held her. "Luce, you wanted him back so badly.

I knew that, Baldwin knew that. Hell, babe, everyone who knows you knew that."

"Except it wasn't Kevin. I feel like an idiot for thinking he would want me back."

"We all make mistakes, Luce. Like believing there's hope when there isn't. Wanting to believe there's a chance."

"Why do I get the feeling we're not just talking about me, here."

"Right now, we're talking about you. What was that scene in the bathroom all about?"

All it took was the way she looked at him.

He whistled. "No way. You know for sure?"

Shaking her head, she pulled away from him. "No. I'm not sure I want to." Tears came, and she tried to fight them.

"And, if you are...."

"It's Ryan's." That was all she could say.

"Come here." Luke pulled her back to him and held her while she cried.

After a few minutes, she started to get control of herself again.

Luke looked at her. "The first thing you need to do, is find out for sure. Now."

"I'm scared."

"I know. But you need to know. I mean, if you're going to have a baby, you need to know. If you're not sure what you're going to do-"

"Luke, get real. If I'm pregnant, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure I have this baby. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do about the father."

"What do you mean? What can you do about him?"

Her eyes met his. "Make damn sure he never finds out. You know what he is, Luke. If he found out I had his baby, what do you think he would do to me? To the baby?" She shook her head. "I need to find a way to make sure no one ever finds out who the father is."

"How? Like lie about due dates? Come on, Lucy. You've been obviously alone for a while. Do you want to invent some mysterious lover and hope everyone buys it? Or find someone else to..."

Her eyes met his for a moment, then she shook her head. "No. I don't want to drag some poor innocent bystander into this. Do you have any idea how much trouble that man would be in if Ryan found out? What do you think Ryan would do to the man he saw stealing his child? No. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but getting some innocent man killed isn't the answer."

Taking her hand, Luke stared at her. "I'm telling you right now, if Ryan gets anywhere near you or the baby, it will be the last mistake he ever makes."

"Luke, I appreciate that. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. I'm not even sure-"

"Yes, you are. I can tell from looking at you. You're sure. You just don't want to be."

"I'm afraid to be."

Sighing, Luke put his arms around her. "Look, I'm not going to raise any more kids, but if all you want is a name to protect yourself and the baby, use mine. Hell, it's not like anyone would be surprised if we had."

Lucy could barely speak to answer him. "I can't drag you into this. You have no idea what you're offering."

"You want child support?"

"No!"

"You want a weekend father?"

"No! That's the last thing I want."

"So, all you need is someone to blame, and someone who can take care of your ex-shrink's psycho brother if he makes an appearance. What's the problem?"

She wasn't convinced.

"You've got time. Think about it. I'm not offering to make an honest woman out of you, or save your spotless reputation."

They both started to laugh.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Lucy took Luke's advice. The next day, she called Dr. Newman, and was relieved to find out the doctor had another office on the other side of town. The last place she wanted to go was GH. This was NOT something she wanted on the grapevine until she decided what she was going to do. Sure enough, she was pregnant. Dr. Newman got her started on all the normal prenatal vitamins and something for the morning sickness. Lucy didn't offer any information about the father, and getting the hint, Dr. Newman didn't ask. The doctor did tell Lucy some things that Lucy was already aware of. Avoiding stress was important, and, given her medical history with pregnancies, she wanted to see Lucy every two weeks. 

When she arrived home, she tried to make at least one decision concerning the baby. Telling Victor was going to be the first thing she did. A decision made, she headed upstairs to change her clothes before going to see him.

A knock on the door stopped her.

When she opened it, she was beyond shocked to see Kevin standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in for a minute?"

Without saying anything, she stepped back so he could walk past her.

"It's been over a month. I've been waiting to hear from you. I wanted to know how you are."

Standing a few feet away from him, she stared at him. "Better. How did you find me?"

"Small town. Asked around." The way she was standing a distance from him, and the way she was staring at him told him she wasn't convinced who he was. That hurt. "Lucy, how can I convince you I'm Kevin?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure you can. To be honest, I'm not sure it matters. Good twin, bad twin. You both took your turn at me. Who hurt me worst? One of you may want me dead. The other one sure as hell made me wish I were. You both took my feelings, what was going on in my head, and used it against me. You both hurt me where you both knew I was the most vulnerable."

Lucy knew right then that he was Kevin, and she'd hurt him more than she'd ever thought she was capable. The pain on his face made her realize it. Comparing him to Ryan on that level was absolute worst thing she could do to him. But she didn't say anything.

It was the truth.

When he finally spoke, his voice was strained. "I was worried about you. I didn't come here to upset you."

"And just what did you think seeing either one of you would do to me?" At that moment, she wanted him to leave. Because what she really wanted to do was tell him she was pregnant, and that she wished it was his. The only thing that stopped her was the fact that it wouldn't accomplish anything.

He knew where the attack on him was coming from, but it didn't stop him from feeling like she was ripping his heart out. The last thing he'd ever wanted was for her to hate him. Much less think he was the same to her as Ryan. "I guess I'll go. I'm sorry. I didn't come here to hurt you."

After his car backed out of the driveway, Lucy sat on the stairs and put her face in her hands. Eventually, she'd have to tell him she was pregnant. But then, he was a bright man sooner or later, he could just figure it out for himself.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

When Victor opened the door, he was obviously delighted to see Lucy. "How are you?" 

"Confused."

"I have to tell you, that was Kevin at your house earlier. He called here quite upset after he left you."

"I know. Well I didn't, but I figured it out. I know I said some horrible things to him."

Leading her into the living room, Victor shook his head. "It's about time you give him what he's had coming for a long time for the way he's treated you."

"Lucy!" Mary saw her from the door to the kitchen. "We're going to have dinner in a few minutes. Are you hungry?"

She was starving, but she didn't want to intrude. "I should have called.

That's always been a problem with me. Ask Kev-" Stopping herself, she shook her head.

"I'm not Kevin, and I don't care if you show up at 3AM without calling. You want to see us, you come over. Got it?" When she smiled and nodded, he continued. "Now, are you hungry?"

"I am starving." She paused before continuing. "Actually, I came over here because I wanted to tell you something."

"Well?" Victor looked at her.

Lucy glanced at Mary, who stepped towards the kitchen. "I'll leave the two of you alone."

"Actually, no." Lucy was surprised by the fact that she wanted to tell Mary. "I'm kind of glad you're both here. I mean, I've been wanting to tell someone, but I've been afraid. I mean afraid to find out, not afraid to tell anyone. As soon as I found out, you two were the first people I wanted to tell. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do. I mean, I know what I'm going to do, but there's some things I need to figure out before I-"

"Good lord, girl. You're making me dizzy. Take a deep breath, and just say it. It can't be that bad." Mary walked to them and smiled.

"It's not. Well, in a way it is, I mean-"

"Lucy! I'm an old man, I'm not going to live forever."

She smiled at him. "I'm pregnant."

Mary grinned and put her arms around Lucy's neck, but Victor stared at her. "There's more to this, right?"

In that instant, Lucy went from hugging Mary to crying on her shoulder. "It's Ryan's!"

"Honey, it doesn't matter. You're going to have a baby, that's what matters." Mary sat with her on the sofa, handing her a tissue.

"It does if Ryan finds out." Victor sat on the other side of her. "That's what you're afraid of, right?"

Nodding, Lucy wiped her eyes. "All I've ever wanted was a baby. I'm going to make sure nothing threatens this pregnancy. But I wanted to tell you that you're going to be a grandfather. I know how much you looked forward to it. I also know this isn't exactly how you thought it would happen."

"I agree that Ryan finding out would be the worst possible scenario. What are you doing to protect yourself?"

"Not telling many people about the baby right now. I'll figure out something before everyone figures it out."

Mary, always being the nurse, took Lucy's hand. "You need to not worry about Ryan to the point it stresses you too much. It's not good for the baby. Now, what are you doing? Vitamins? Exercise?"

The confused look Lucy gave her made Victor laugh. "Mary likes to mother people. You'll get used to it."

The thought of being mothered both fascinated and terrified Lucy. Either way, it would be a new experience.

When they sat down at the table, Mary put an extra helping of vegetables on Lucy's plate. "One for you and one for the baby."

One again, the totally speechless look on Lucy's face made Victor laugh.

Through dinner, Lucy kept looking at Mary like she was going to bite.

Victor was highly amused, and kept laughing to himself. The upcoming months were going to be amusing.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

After dinner, the three of them sat in the living room. Mary had realized she was actually scaring Lucy, and backed off a bit. 

Putting her head back, Lucy found herself completely relaxing for the first time in ages. Victor looked at her. "You look like you're about to fall over, Lucy."

"I feel like it. I'm exhausted."

"You're welcome to-" A knock on the door interrupted Victor. Opening the door, Victor was shocked, and not entirely happy, to see Kevin. Oblivious to Victor's expression, Kevin walked past him rambling. "I had to get out of the house. I can't get what she said to-" His voice died out when he saw Lucy staring at him.

Kevin sighed. "Okay, this wasn't a good idea either." He started to leave.

"Kevin, wait." Lucy stood and walked to him. "I guess I took everything out on you today. I'm just trying to decide what.... Who.... I've got a lot on my mind. And you really caught me at a moment I just couldn't take one more thing."

"I wanted to help you. Not hurt you."

"I know. I just couldn't find a way... I almost told you..." Looking at Victor, Lucy went on a total rant. "I should tell him, right? I mean, family and all that.

He's... he's a part of this too. To a point, I mean, not in the sense that... I guess I'll tell him. He'd figure it out, anyway, right? Then he'd want to know why I didn't tell him. But I don't know why I didn't. I almost did."

"Lucy!" Kevin's voice came out sharper than he intended, and, when she looked at him, he finished, quieter. "Whatever it is, just tell me. I did something? You want me to stay away from you? What is it?"

"I'm pregnant!" Once again, Mary was holding Lucy while she cried.

A completely speechless Kevin stared from Lucy and Mary to Victor. "She's..."

Victor nodded.

"It's...."

"Ryan's." Victor's voice was quiet.

The implications of the situation hit Kevin, and he sat down. By then, Mary had calmed Lucy to the point she could look at Kevin.

"You know Ryan can NEVER find out."

"Gee, Doc, you're quick."

Once again, he'd said the wrong thing. "Are you okay? Have you seen a doctor?"

"Yes. And yes. The only thing I'm worried about is Ryan. I'm not telling many people about this until I figure out what I'm going to say about the father. But, this baby is Victor's grandchild, and your nephew. So... here I am." She looked at her watch. "And I need to go. I'm tired. Kevin, I won't be so mean to you next time. Victor, Mary, thank you for dinner. It was great."

Victor hugged her again before she left.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Scott was in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. He heard Serena scream Lucy's name, and he ran into the living room. 

On her knees at the door, Lucy was holding Serena, trying not to let the child see how hard she was crying.

"Why haven't you come to see me?"

"Honey, it's so complicated. I don't know how to tell you."

"One of those adult things, right?"

"Yep! You are so smart!" Lucy looked up. "Scott."

He didn't answer. Serena was so happy to see Lucy. She didn't really understand why Lucy had moved out of the firehouse, but not seeing her had made her so sad.

"Guess what? I have a new house. And I want my favorite pumpkin to come see me."

"Really? When?" Serena's eyes lit up.

"Soon. Okay? I really need to talk to your daddy for a minute, okay? I'll come up and say goodbye before I leave."

After Serena was gone, Scott glared at Lucy. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Scott, we are going to talk about this. I hurt you. I'm sorry. But I've been punished enough. I want to see her. I want her to come see my house."

"Your house with Kevin? Quite frankly, I don't want to hear about it. So go say goodbye to Serena, and get out of here."

"No! When are you going to let me see her again?"

"I don't know." Grabbing her arm, he pulled her to the stairs. "You're lucky I'm letting you see her now."

"Stop it! Scott talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk to you, Lucy. I want you to get out of here!" He got a little rougher with her and she started to pull away from him.

"Let go of me!"

"I'm going to drag you up those stairs, then I'm going to throw you out. The next time you want to see Serena, you call first. Got it?!"

Feeling Scott drag her up the stairs, she had a sudden flashback of another staircase. Scott. And a baby. A baby she lost when she fell down the stairs. "Scott! Let go! No!"

When she shrieked, Scott let go of her and backed away. The sound of panic in her voice was something he couldn't mistake. "What?"

"I'm pregnant." Her voice was quiet, and Scott backed away from her, suddenly feeling guilty for grabbing her.

"That was quick."

"You don't know the half of it." Suddenly she was crying again.

Really not wanting to buy into this, but unable to turn her away, Scott stared at her. "Let me guess, Kevin's not ready to start a family this soon?"

Crying harder, she walked away from him.

"Lucy, this is not the sound of a happy woman, who has everything she wanted."

"Scott, you'll probably get a laugh out of this. At least an I told you so. Again." Sitting down, she told him the whole story.

For a few minutes after she finished, Scott said nothing. It took a while for everything she'd told him to sink in. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "The baby is Ryan's, right?"

She nodded.

Pushing a piece of hair off her face, Scott looked at her. "What are we going to do with you?"

"Shoot me and put me out of my misery?"

"You know, it was bad enough you left me for the shrink. I mean, taking the back seat to the love of your life was hard enough. But for a real nut-case? Lucy, that's a little hard for me to swallow."

When she started to cry, he stepped closer to her. "I'm kidding. Bad joke. I'm sorry." Pulling her to the sofa, he sat next to her. "Okay, I'm going to tell you something. You killed something in me when you left. But you didn't kill the fact that we've been friends for more years than I'm willing to count. What are you going to do?"

"Well, for starters, I moved into Brenda's cottage. I waited to decorate one of the rooms until Serena could pick out what she wanted. I want her to come stay with me sometimes."

"I guess I can live with that." Scott sighed. God, her smile was beautiful. "What else do you need? Bodyguards? What are you doing to make sure he doesn't find out about this?"

"I haven't decided yet. I'm not that far along, yet. Once I get past the first trimester, I'll have to think about something."

"Let me know if I can do anything."

"Just don't hate me. That's all I want from you. I know you have every reason to. I would hate me, if I were you."

Scott finally really laughed. "If you were me, you'd hate you, and if I were you, I'd hate me."

After taking a few seconds to think about it, she laughed. "You know I love you. You're my pal."

"If this is how you treat you pals, please, do me a favor. Hate me."


	5. Part 5

When she answered the phone, the silence on the other end made her actually stop breathing.

"Lucy."

The way he said it, she wasn't sure. "Yes?"

"Had a hell of a time getting your new phone number. Wanted you to know I was still out here."

Lucy began to tremble. "Ryan."

"Still out here. Still thinking of you. Do you think about me?"

"Well, I'm not having nightmares anymore. It's a start." The anger she was feeling surprised her. Not thinking about it, she put her hand over the baby and sat down.

"You know, I started this to get to Kevin. To give him everything he deserved."

"I guess what you did to me was just a bonus point."

Ryan was quiet for a moment. "What I did to you... I guess he came running to your rescue."

After debating for a moment, she decided it was better for her if he thought someone had come running to her rescue. So she said nothing.

"You know, Lucy, you're definitely interesting. I haven't met very many people that interested me before. One minute I wanted to kill you, and the next, I wanted to marry you myself."

She shivered, but still said nothing.

Ryan was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, his tone was so soft that Lucy had to strain to hear him. "Did he finally notice how much you love him?"

Suddenly she was afraid to answer him. His tone puzzled her, and she couldn't figure out what answer he was looking for.

"Come on, Lucy. You can tell me. Does he want you, now that I've had you? Did he make it all better?"

Her skin was crawling, and her eyes filled with tears, but she still didn't answer him.

It didn't matter. He went on as if he didn't realize he was carrying on a conversation alone. "Did you always love him like that? I mean, my God, you are so...." His tone grew louder. "Pathetic about him. He's not worth it, you know. I know he likes to pretend, and he wants everyone to think he is so much better than anyone else, but... See, I know better. And I thought you would, too. Now. I mean, before I thought you were this total airhead with a killer body."

"What changed?"

Ryan realized he'd said more than he intended to. "Nothing, really. You do have a body. I know that better now. You're a little smarter than I thought you were."

Now she was confused. "I'm smarter than a lot of people think I am. Maybe I don't want people to know how smart I am." She wanted to know what he was thinking.

"Nah. You still have a thing for Kevin. You lose IQ credit for that."

"Ryan, you can't objectively judge who you love. I mean-"

"You have no idea how right you are, Lucy." His tone was quiet, almost thoughtful again. Then he seemed to recover. "Well, that's all for now. Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. Don't bother tracing. I'm calling on your cell. Good-bye."

After he hung up, Lucy took a minute to breathe. When she finally stopped shaking, she called the first person that came to mind. Victor.

Ryan sat on the chair, staring at the phone. She would have it disconnected now. Why had he called her? Simple. He called her because he couldn't get her out of his mind. He hadn't felt this way about a woman since Felicia. He'd seen Felicia a few times while he was watching Lucy. She was still the woman of his dreams. But, if that were true, why couldn't he stop thinking about Lucy?

No matter how hard he tried not to, he knew that sooner or later, he would have to see her again.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

It was almost a week after Ryan's call, and Lucy was still finding herself in a panic when the phone rang or someone knocked on the door. And this time was no different. Approaching the door slowly, she tried to see out the window without moving the curtain. Kevin's car was in the driveway. He looked like he was about to give up when she finally opened the door.

"Did I disturb you?"

Shaking her head, she stepped back so he could come inside. The look she was giving him wasn't the warmest, but at least this time Kevin was sure she knew it was him. Not sure where to start, he walked around the living room. "You've done a great job with this place."

"Thanks. I like it. And I'd like to think Brenda would have liked it, too."

"I'm sure she would have. I hadn't thought about her living here. Are you okay with that?"

Nodding, Lucy sat down. "I feel closer to her. I mean, she was trying to get her life together here. And she succeeded. If only her mother...." Lucy couldn't finish that thought and shook her head. "I feel like I'm in the same position she was. I mean, after Sonny left her at the altar, and she tried not to run back to Jax," It hit too close to home, so she stopped. "I just thought this house did so much for her, maybe it would help me, too."

Sitting in a chair, keeping a little distance between them, Kevin looked at her. "I'm not sure where to start. I was wondering if you've decided what you're going to do?"

"No. I've tried to not let it stress me out too much. It's not good for the baby. And, to be honest with you, the baby is all that matters. I have a few things to consider."

"Like?"

"Kevin, what do you want? Stop acting like you're just curious. You've got something on your mind, say it."

"I've been thinking about this almost constantly since you told me. And I keep coming back to the same answer. It's really the most logical thing to do. Yes, the baby is the most important thing here, but keeping Ryan from finding out is just as important."

Lucy put her hand up to stop him. "Kevin! What are you trying, and obviously not succeeding to tell me?"

"I think my name should be on your baby's birth certificate."

Stunned, Lucy stared at him.

"It makes sense. No one would doubt that we actually did-"

"Why do men keep saying that? Am I that bad, that everyone in Port Charles would believe I slept with anybody?"

Her tone sounded so offended, Kevin didn't know what to say. "Who else...?" His expression was priceless.

"You're the second man to make that offer. And telling me that everyone would believe I slept with either of you is not a way to butter me up for it, you know what I mean?" Finally she smiled. "Probably true, but not the most tactful way to say it, you know?"

"This other man, does he know what he's volunteering to step in the middle of?"

"That depends. Are you talking about me, or Ryan?" She didn't give him a chance to answer. She didn't know which he was talking about, and wasn't sure she wanted to know. "He's not in it to be a Daddy. He's offered me a name and a certain degree of protection from Ryan. As far as the baby goes, I'm on my own."

"So that's it? You're just going to raise this child without a father?"

His tone was so condescending that it made her furious. Staring him in the eyes, she snapped at him. "Father's are overrated. That much I know from experience."

Now Kevin was getting angry. "You told me what not knowing who your father was did to you. And that you would never raise a child that way. I'm not offering you a name. I'm offering to be the father of my brother's baby. To protect you and the baby from him. To be a Daddy. The whole thing."

"Why? Why would you want that? Because you feel guilty? Because you think it's your responsibility? It's not, Kevin. That's the beauty of this day and age. It's not like when I was a child. I can have my baby, I can raise my baby, and I don't NEED a father! So thank you for coming, but you're off the hook and you can go." By now she was almost screaming at him.

"What's in this for Scott, Lucy? Would he really make that much better a father than I would?"

She opened her mouth to yell at him, then stopped when she realized what he'd said. "SCOTT? What does he have to do with this?"

"It's not Scott?" Kevin's voice was quiet, obviously shocked.

"No. Scott wants nothing to do with any of it. He really doesn't want much to do with me, period, right now. I saw Serena for the first time last week since......" Tears came to her eyes and she stopped.

"He took Serena away from you again."

"I hurt him. And when Scott's hurt, he strikes back. I mean now he knows the whole story, but all that really matters to him is that I left him.... For you." She wiped her eyes. "He's better now than he was, he's going to let me see her. He needed time."

Once again, Kevin thought about everything she'd given up for him. Only to be hurt. The fact that she was still dealing with it told him she was nothing short of amazing. No wonder she wanted very little to do with him.

Before his imagination could run away again, Lucy looked at him. "The other man is Luke. He offered to put his name on the birth certificate. And to deal with Ryan if he ever came near me or the baby." She wasn't sure how to finish. "Kevin, he pretty much told me he would kill Ryan if he tried anything. I thought you should know."

Kevin thought about what she'd said for almost a full minute. "Good." Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I know the only way you and the baby will ever really be safe will be if Ryan is dead. The fact that he called you means that he's not going to just disappear. And, to be honest, I couldn't do it myself. Even after everything he's done, I still can't bring myself to wish him dead. It's probably good for you that someone can."

Lucy shrugged. "Right now, Ryan rates right up with the Cassadines and Frank Smith as far as Luke's concerned. And you know what happened to them. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have to protect yourself and your baby. So Luke offered you his name. What do you want?"

"I don't know. It's still so confusing. I mean, Luke is my friend, a good friend, but that's it. I don't want to tell this baby that his or her father didn't want them. But that would be better than the truth. This isn't something that will blow over. Whatever I decide will determine this child's whole entire life. And that kind of overwhelms me sometimes."

In that few seconds while she was speaking, Lucy went from looking like a very strong, determined woman to looking like a lost child herself.

Kevin moved to the sofa next to her. "Part of this is because I feel like I should do this. But that baby is my niece or nephew. They are part of my family. Victor is the grandfather, and I am the uncle. I want to be more. As the uncle, I can only watch for Ryan. As the father, I can stand between the baby and Ryan. You know that."

"And if Ryan finds out, he'll try to kill you."

"Exactly. Me. He'll blame me for taking his child. I believe I would be his first target if he found out. If I give the baby my name."

Lucy thought about what he was saying. It made sense. If Kevin had a death wish. Then something else occurred to her. "What does Eve think about this? She can't possibly be happy about it."

He looked away. "I haven't really discussed this with her."

"Haven't really discussed this. As in, she knows you're contemplating it, or she'll only know if I say yes?"

"As in I've made my decision. Whatever your decision is, I'll go from there."

Lucy stared at him for a long moment. "You, Mr. I can't live with you because you lie, is going to lie for the rest of his life?" His reaction told her she'd struck a nerve, but she didn't care. "I'm telling you, Kevin, this is forever. A few years down the road, if Ryan does get killed, I can't run the risk of you changing your mind and deciding that you can't live a lie."

"Does this mean you're at least contemplating the idea?"

"I'm contemplating every option right now."

"Lucy, what if the baby looks just like me? Or you find out you're going to have twins? You don't think people would suspect me anyway? The genetic bond would be there. You don't think I could love your baby?"

His choice of words startled her. 'Your baby.' She wondered if he'd realized what he'd said. "Not just mine, Kevin. Ryan's. I know, you know that, but are you sure you could live with it? What about if you and Eve have a baby that is really yours? What happens then? You can't play Daddy until you're tired of it, or your situation changes."

"All I can say is I wouldn't do that to a baby. Or you. I can't make you believe me. I guess that's why Luke's offer sounds so nice. No risk. Outside the obvious. You don't have to trust Luke. He's not making any promises."

"You made me an offer. I'll think about it, okay? If you're sticking around to upset me, don't bother." Standing, she walked toward the kitchen.

Kevin looked at her. The change was very slight, but if you were looking, you could see she was pregnant. It hit him again that there was a baby inside of her, and how right it felt to be the father. Even if he wasn't. "What does Dr. Newman say?"

Stopping, she looked at him. "Avoid stress. That's a laugh, huh." She shrugged. "Right now, everything's fine. Whoever invented the term morning sickness never met me. Morning, noon, and night is more like it. It should get better soon. As soon as I'm through the first trimester. I get my first sonogram next week. Probably still won't know if it's a boy or girl, but I don't care."

Putting her hands over the baby, she was absolutely glowing. Kevin smiled. "Can I come?"

Her smile faltered. "Why?"

"Because I care. If you want the company."

"Victor's coming." A look of hurt flashed across his face. "Maybe the next one. I need time to think about what you said. I'm not saying no. I'm just not sure what I want. You're a part of the baby's life. I'm not saying you're not. But being an uncle is a lot less hassle than being a daddy. Ryan not withstanding. But you have to realize that I'm part of this deal. You will have to deal with me, and that's not something I think you want to do. Or Eve will want you to do. I mean, are you going to agree to me having sole custody? I'm not going to fight you for my baby."

"You know, Lucy, trust is a two way street-"

"Don't you even go there with me! I don't want to spend the rest of my life hearing how you can't trust me. You're NOT going to use that to get to me! And don't think you can throw that at me every time I don't just follow your oh-so-wise advice the way you want me to!"

Kevin honestly had no idea where that outburst had come from. "I'm not throwing anything in your face! I'm just pointing out that you could change your mind as easily as I could. If I get attached to this baby, and I love him or her, and you find someone and decide to marry them, what happens to me?"

Forcing herself to calm down, she looked at him. "I need to think about it. So do you. Give me a little time."

"Not meaning anything by this but the literal meaning." He crossed the room to her and put his hand on her stomach. "You're going to run out of time very shortly. I can tell, and it won't be long before everyone else can. I want this, Lucy. I want to give this baby everything it deserves."

"Parents who can't get along? A father who can't stand it's mother? Well, I guess that's half of America, so....." His hand on her, on the baby, felt so right, it terrified her.

"Stop. We can get along. It's just been so long since we've tried that we've forgotten how. And as much as we both try not to, we do care about each other. All I know is that this baby is important to me. And being the father feels right to me. Think about it."

Without another word, he left. Staring at the closed door behind him, Lucy whispered to herself. "The baby is important to you. Why can't I be?"

Suddenly she wondered if the emotional price for her was too high to consider his offer. Could she live with Kevin loving her baby and not her? Or was she being selfish? He would be a wonderful father. What he said suddenly occurred to her. 'Would Scott really make that much better a father then him.' Maybe he really wanted this. Confused, tired, and slightly sick to her stomach, she went in search of a cracker before she went to lay down.

_**I still can remember**_

_**Last time I cried**_

_**I was holding you and loving you**_

_**Knowing it would end**_

_**I never felt so good, yet felt so bad**_

_**You're the one I love**_

_**And what makes it sad**_

_**Is you don't belong to me**_

_**I can still remember**_

_**Last time I lied**_

_**I was holding you and telling you**_

_**We could still be friends**_

_**Tried to let you go, but I can't you know**_

_**Cause even though I'm not with you**_

_**I need you so**_

_**But you don't belong to me.**_

Kevin was almost oblivious to the road in front of him. He had pictured Lucy having his child a million times since the first time she'd told him she was pregnant. That time it had been his child. Would it make that much of a difference that it was Ryan's? At that moment, he didn't think so. Except the fact that he'd have more to worry about as far as protecting the baby. And Lucy. She was a big part of this, too. He couldn't protect her from Ryan before. Now that he knew he had to, he would make damn sure he could. He got the distinct impression that if Ryan found out, he wouldn't just lie to Lucy this time. He would kill her. And Kevin was not going to let that happen.

_**Coming in and out of your life**_

_**Isn't easy**_

_**I don't need to touch you**_

_**To feel you**_

_**It's real with you**_

_**I can't get you out of my mind**_

_**Coming in and out of your life**_

_**Will never free me**_

_**Cause there's so many nights**_

_**I can't hold you**_

_**And I told you**_

_**These feelings are so hard to fight**_

Standing in the kitchen, Lucy kept thinking about his hand on her. Putting her hand over the baby, she spoke to the small life inside her. "He would be the best Daddy I could ever want for you. I wish he really were."

_**I still can remember**_

_**Last time we tried**_

_**Each needing more then we could give**_

_**And knowing all the time**_

_**A stronger love just can't be found**_

_**Even though at times this crazy world**_

_**It turning upside down**_

_**You'll always belong to me**_

Eve was standing on the stairs in a sheer blue nightgown when Kevin walked through the door. Before he could say a word, she kissed him. Taking her hand, he followed her up the stairs. They still hadn't exchanged a word when Eve pulled him gently onto the bed with her. As Kevin made love to her, Lucy's words went through his head. "What if you and Eve have a baby that is really yours? What then?"

Eve didn't want children. As much as Kevin tried to convince her that she would be a good mother, she didn't want to hear the arguments. Maybe it was time to leave it alone. Being the father of Lucy's baby would be enough for him. At that moment, he realized that somehow, he would convince Lucy to allow him to raise the baby with her.

_**Coming in and out of your life**_

_**Isn't easy**_

_**I don't need to touch you**_

_**To feel you**_

_**It's so real with you**_

_**I can't get you out of my mind.**_

_**Coming in and out of your life**_

_**Will never free me**_

_**Cause there's so many nights**_

_**I can't hold you**_

_**And I told you**_

_**These feeling are so hard to fight**_

_**I still can remember.....**_

**   
  
_Song credit- "Coming In And Out Of Your Life"- Barbra Streisand_**

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Kevin entered the lighthouse and could tell by the look on Eve's face something was wrong.

"This came for you by messenger." She handed a package to him.

The return address on it was Dr. Newman's. As he opened it, Eve stared at him. Inside was a video tape and a copy of the report from Lucy's appointment. With a small note enclosed telling him that Lucy had requested she send him a copy.

He didn't hear Eve the first time she spoke to him.

"Kevin!"

Looking up from the report, he finally answered her. "I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"What's going on? Why are you getting a report from an OB/GYN?"

Not really sure how to tell her, he sighed and sat at the table. "It's complicated."

"It's..." The shock was all over her face. "Oh, my god, it's Lucy's, isn't it."

He really didn't want to answer her.

"Kevin, she's pregnant?"

"Yes." He almost smiled. "And from the looks of this report, she's going to have twins."

"Why is she sending you a copy of the report? Twins?" Not wanting to think what she was thinking, she asked him. "The father is Ryan, right?"

Her tone told Kevin there was more to that question than the obvious. "What does that mean?"

"It means just what I said. She knows the father is Ryan, right?"

Kevin stared at her. "That sounded almost like an accusation. Are you asking me if there's a chance..." He couldn't finish that thought. "You think I might be...?" Too shocked to even finish the sentence, he stopped and waited for her to continue.

Feeling guilty, Eve looked away. But she still had to hear him say it. "I have a right to ask you."

"You have the right, but why would you suspect? Do you honestly believe I could do that to you?" Before she could reply, he sighed. It was time to tell her everything. "Look, this is not going to turn into a fight between us. This is also not going to turn into an attack Lucy session for you. But there are a few things I need to tell you. Lucy is pregnant by Ryan. I resent you asking me if I was even a candidate. For obvious reasons, Ryan can never, and I mean this, Eve, NEVER find out he is the real father."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm not their father, but I'm going to...." This was ten times harder than he thought it would be. "If she is going to have twins, everyone would assume.... I..." He stopped, not knowing how to continue.

"You're going to tell everyone they are yours, aren't you?"

"Yes." His voice was quiet.

"Why? Why would you do this? To save her reputation? That's a laugh. I-"

"This isn't about Lucy-"

"It will be. I know her. It will end up being about her. With Lucy, it always ends up being about her. She'll make sure of it." Eve was too furious and shocked to listen to him.

"No it's not! This isn't about her, me, or you. This is about those babies. And what Ryan would do if he found out they were his."

"And what do you think he'd do?"

"Take them. And kill Lucy if she tried to stop him."

"What about you? Would he kill you if you tried to stop him?"

"This was about me! That's the point you're missing. He went after Lucy because of me. He wants to get to me."

Eve thought she saw the point. And it sent her into a rage. "So you have to get there first, right? Is that really what this is all about? Is this some sort of sick game you're going to play with your brother? You're going to win, no matter what? Who gets Lucy and her babies?"

"This isn't a game, Eve. You have no idea what we're dealing with. Ryan is dangerous to anyone that he thinks is important to me!" That she thought that this was a competition between him and Ryan made him furious. "Lucy's going to have twins. That would be enough to convince anyone they were mine. Or if Ryan found out, he would be convinced they were his. I know at some point, he's going to find out she's pregnant. He's not going to leave her alone. So I have to convince everyone, including him, that they are mine."

"I bet Lucy's really unhappy to have you stand up and take responsibility for your brother's children."

Kevin couldn't miss the sarcasm in Eve's voice. "Actually, she's not really thrilled about the idea. She hadn't made up her mind the last time I spoke to her. I have a feeling that this is what may finally make her decide."

"Oh, right, Kevin. She probably wants you to talk her into it."

"Eve, you still don't get it. Ryan used her, lied to her, and hurt her so badly, that she can barely stand to look at me right now. All I do is remind her of what he did to her. I've only seen her a few times since this happened."

"She hates you so much, she's going to give you her babies? Come on, Kevin! You're not that stupid, even when it comes to her!"

"Why can't you understand what's going on? I'm going to say this one more time. This is not about Lucy. This is about protecting those babies from Ryan."

"At what expense, Kevin? Maybe you're willing to let everyone in Port Charles think you'd cheat on me, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I don't want everyone asking me why I would stay with you after you slept with Lucy, and publicly accept her children as yours." That was one aspect of this that Kevin hadn't considered, and his reaction told her that. "Did how I would feel about this even cross your mind?"

"I thought you would understand that the baby's life was in danger, and that I had to do something. I did think it would be easy to convince everyone I did sleep with her. Of course it never occurred to me that YOU would actually ask me if I had." He stared at her pointedly. "But it never crossed my mind what people would think of you for seeming to accept it. I'm sorry." She started to walk away, but he took her arms and looked at her. "I am sorry."

"But it doesn't change anything."

He stared at her for a moment. "No. We're adults. Rumors and gossip won't physically hurt us. But those babies would be physically hurt if the truth ever came out."

"What would you do if I told you I can't live that way?"

"This isn't a choice, Eve. Don't make it one. I love you. But I have to do this."

"I need to think about this, Kevin. Give me a chance. You've obviously been thinking about this for a while. I've got to tell you I don't like the thought of you raising a baby with her. This isn't something that will blow over, this is for the rest of our lives. This will tie you to her forever. And I don't know if I can live with that."

Before he could answer, she walked away.


	6. Part 6

"I noticed you told Dr. Newman to send a copy of your sonogram and report to Kevin. Does that mean you've made up your mind?" Victor sat on the sofa next to Lucy.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I can handle it. That sounds selfish, doesn't it."

"I know you still have feelings for him. It won't be easy, raising children with him."

"Children. I still can't get over that." Her eyes filled with tears again. When Dr. Newman had told her she was carrying twins, she spent the next ten minutes alternating between laughing and crying. Every time she thought about it, her reaction started all over again. "I bet Kevin got a kick out of it. You know, he mentioned it, when he was making a case for me to give them his name. He said if I had twins that everyone would suspect him, anyway." Sighing, she wiped her eyes and put her head back. "He's right, you know."

Someone knocked on the door and Victor opened it to reveal Luke.

"Hi, got your message on the machine, but I was close by, so I thought I'd take a chance." Kissing her forehead, he sat next to her. "What's up?"

Taking his hand, Lucy stared at him. "I've been thinking about your offer."

"It still stands." Luke's eyes went from her to Victor.

"Lucy has told me what's going on. And your offer. There aren't many men who would willingly jump into a situation such as this." Victor smiled.

"I'd do just about anything for Luce."

She leaned against him. "I know. And I appreciate it, Luke, I really do."

"But..."

"But, I found out something that could pretty much make everyone point fingers no matter what I say." She smiled and began to cry again. "I'm going to have twins."

Laughing, Luke put his arms around her. "Keep acting like that and I won't know whether to say congrats or I'm sorry."

"I know. I can't stop. Every time I think about it, I get like this."

"You're entitled. I guess this helped make up your mind?"

Finally getting herself under control, she looked at him. "Come on, Luke. I have twins, and no one would believe Kevin wasn't the father no matter how much we both said you were."

"Besides, from what you've told me, he wants to do the whole 'daddy' thing. That would probably be better for the kids. If he sticks with it." Luke shot a look at Victor.

"I don't agree with what Kevin has done to Lucy in the past. But I do know that if he were to be named the babies' father, he would do his best to take care of them." Victor met Luke's eyes. "Not that I blame you for having doubts. I know as well as you do what he's done to her."

"Okay, he gets to play the proud Daddy, what about you, Luce? What do you want?"

She just looked at him.

"That's what I'm talking about. You want the whole thing, don't you? The family thing."

Standing, she walked toward the kitchen. "It doesn't matter what I want. These children deserve a better father than I offered them biologically. He would be a good father, Luke. Even if he doesn't want me, he'll take care of the babies."

After she was gone, Luke looked at Victor. "I know that look in her eye. She wants the whole fairytale."

"I know."

"She's going to get hurt again, and I'm not going to be happy with either of your sons."

"Believe me, Luke, I'm very unhappy with one, and not to thrilled with the other at the moment myself where she's concerned."

"Victor!" Lucy's voice called from the kitchen.

"Yes?"

"When did the pharmacy say my 'script would be ready?"

Victor headed for the kitchen. "In a few minutes. Are you sick again?"

Luke followed, and they found her leaning on the counter. "I'm going to be, and these crackers aren't helping."

Touching her head, Victor looked at Luke. "I'll run to the drugstore, if you can handle her here."

Nodding, he reached for Lucy. "In this condition, I think I can handle her. She can't bite." She smacked him. "Ow."

"Don't bet on it."

After Victor left, Luke took her arm. "Okay, now what?"

"The sofa." He started to help her, but she laughed. "Luke, I can walk. I just feel sick."

About half way through the kitchen, she ran to the bathroom.

He'd been waiting for her to come out for a couple minutes when someone knocked at the door.

Mary looked at him when he opened it. "Hello, Luke, I haven't seen you in ages. I think the last time was at the Recovery Room."

"Mary Sca- Collins. Sorry."

"Can't get used to that myself, sometimes. How is she? I didn't want to wait to see Victor to hear how her appointment went."

"At the moment..." Luke pointed to the bathroom door.

"She sick?"

Nodding, he followed Mary into the living room. "Victor went to pick up something the doctor gave her for it."

"Well, how long has she been in there?" Immediately, she began to question Luke.

"A few minutes. I'm not exactly timing her."

Mary went to the door and knocked softly. "Lucy? It's Mary. You okay, honey?"

"I can't stop throwing up." Lucy sounded like she was crying.

Glancing at Luke, she opened the door and went inside.

Luke was a split second from yelling his goodbye through the door when Mary reappeared, holding Lucy's arm to steady her. Lucy was white as a sheet, and soaked from sweat.

"You're not gonna pass out on us here, are ya, Luce?" His was teasing, but both women could tell he was worried.

Shaking her head, Lucy reached for his arm. "You don't look like you could handle it."

Slowly, they helped her to the sofa, where she laid back, but not down. "Dr. Newman promised this would stop soon. I can't do this for the next 5 months."

Mary disappeared for a minute, and returned with her arms full. "You can, and you will, if that's what you have to do for the baby. Now, relax. That's the most important thing." Wiping Lucy's face with a damp cloth, she handed her a glass of water and a couple crackers. "These should help until Victor gets back."

Lucy recognized the 'mothering' tone in Mary's voice, and the look on her face made Luke laugh. Leaning on the back of the sofa, his face near Lucy's, he looked at Mary. "You'll have to excuse her. She's better at taking care of the wounded than being the wounded."

"Shut up! If I ever get up off this sofa again, you'll be the wounded."

"I think I'm safe, babe." He looked at Mary. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes, she'll be fine." Mary smiled. "She needs to take her meds and get some food in her."

"And you'll make sure she does, right?" Luke was thoroughly enjoying this. He was about to make another smart remark when Lucy's hand came out of nowhere and almost collided with his nose. "Sorry! Just teasing." He kissed her hand. "It's about time someone takes care of you. I have to go. I've got nine million things to do and a few hours to do them in. I'll drop by the end of the week and see how you're doing."

Her voice stopped him as he reached for the door. When he turned back, she was staring at him. "Thank you. For coming, for offering,..." She was about to start crying again.

"It's okay. You need something, call. Now I'm going to leave before the waterworks start again." Smiling, he left.

"Victor tells me you have a very good friend in him."

"He's the best." Lucy sounded as tired as she looked.

Wiping her face again, Mary looked at her. "I came by to find out how your appointment went."

As tired as she was, Lucy grinned and told Mary, in great detail, about the appointment. As soon as she said the word 'twins', Mary stopped her. "Twins! Oh, I bet you're thrilled."

"Thrilled, scared, happy, paranoid, the list goes on."

"And the lucky father...."

"I'm going to talk to Kevin soon. I just hope he hasn't changed his mind."

"No. He was over a couple nights ago, asking Victor to talk to you about it." She handed Lucy the water. "You look like you could use some."

After drinking some of the water, she leaned back and closed her eyes. "I wish Victor would hurry up. I don't want to get sick again. My stomach hurts, my throat hurts, my back hurts... I'm getting whiny." She also broke out in another sweat.

"Well, we'll just have to send Victor back out to the store to pick up some cheese. You already have crackers for the whine." Mary smiled. "You need to lay back. Not down, but enough to put your feet up. You need to relax."

The cool cloth felt good on her face. She realized she was actually getting used to this 'mothering' thing. It definitely had it's nice points.

Serena knocked on Lucy's door and jumped through it when Lucy opened it.

Leaning over, Lucy held Serena and looked at Scott. "I've missed you so much, pumpkin."

"Daddy said I could spend the night with you if you said it was okay."

Tears came to Lucy's eyes and she held Serena tighter. "Of course it is. Come on, lets go see the rest of the house. Scott, do you want to come in?"

"Lucy, are you getting fat?" Serena put her hands on the babies and looked up at Lucy.

"No, guess what! I'm going to have a baby!"

Scott finally looked down at her, and decided to mess with her. "Damn, woman, you sure you're only having one?"

Laughing, Lucy shook her head. "Actually, I'm sure I'm not having one. Twins."

"Wow! You're going to have two babies? Will I get to play with them this time?"

It was an innocent question, and Serena had no way of understanding the effect it had on Lucy. But Scott did, and he pulled Serena inside. "Let's check out the rest of this place. I bet if you go ahead, you can guess which room is yours!"

After Serena ran up the stairs, Scott turned to Lucy, who'd turned white and was shaking. "Calm down. This isn't like last time."

"Or the time before that, or the time before that, right? You don't think that goes through my mind every single day?"

"What else did Dr. Newman say?"

"She said everything's fine right now. I'm seeing her every two weeks because of..." She couldn't finish.

"Stop. Look, if you're not up to Serena tonight, I'll-"

"Don't you even think of taking her home. I've been dying to see her. I miss her so much." She took his hand for a moment. "And I know this is hard for you." Not wanting to make it worse, she let go of him and went to the sofa. "I do find I'm more tired this time."

"Twins?"

"That, or my age. But Dr. Newman said it's normal."

Serena came back downstairs. "I know which room is mine! It doesn't have any furniture in it, yet. When can we go get some?"

Patting the sofa for her to sit, Lucy hugged her. "I don't know, honey. How about you just sleep with me tonight?"

"Okay! Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Serena stared at her for a moment. "Daddy won't tell me. Why did you move out?"

Lucy's eyes met Scott's and she took a deep breath. "It's not easy to explain. I love you, and I love your daddy very much. But it's not.... it's not like... to get married, you know? It's more like.... well, your daddy is the best friend I've ever had."

"Grown up stuff, right?"

"Yes. You know, you're growing up more and more every day."

"Is Daddy going to be the babies daddy, too."

Neither adult could help it. They both laughed. "No, he's not." Lucy waited for the next question, wondering if she was ready to start living the lie.

"So who is?"

Lucy looked at Scott when she answered. "Kevin." The confusion on Scott's face made Lucy continue. "You know, Kevin had a twin brother, right?"

"Yes. But he died."

"Well, twins run in families. So, it makes sense that I would have twins with Kevin." Her eyes searched Scott's face for understanding. "Serena, would you go in the kitchen and get me a glass of water, please?"

As soon as Serena left the room, Scott sat next to her. "I take it he feels responsible."

"Yes. He also wants to protect them." She put her hands on the babies. "You know what would happen if.." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Ryan ever found out."

"So you raise children of the brother you hate with the one you love while he lives with someone else? Good God, Lucy, how in the hell did you get yourself into this?"

Serena came back, and Lucy looked at Scott. "I didn't plan everything in advance, I'll tell you that."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Serena opened the door the next morning, and smiled when she saw Kevin. "Hi!"

Picking her up, Kevin hugged her. "I haven't seen you in so long? How are you?"

"Fine. You're here to see Lucy, right?"

"Gee, you're smart."

Lucy came down the stairs and stopped when she saw Kevin. He saw the uncertainty cross her face. "I came to see what your package day before yesterday meant."

Visibly relaxing, she went to the sofa. Kevin couldn't believe how much she'd changed since he'd seen her last. She was showing twice as much as she had been.

Still carrying Serena, Kevin crossed the room.

"Lucy told me you and her are going to have two babies!"

Unable to answer, his eyes locked with Lucy's and he nodded.

"Serena spent the night with me last night. We stayed up and watched old comedies. Hey, Pumpkin, I'm really tired, do you think you can forge for yourself in the kitchen?"

Kevin realized she really did look exhausted. "I can help her, if it's okay with you."

"You mind?"

"No, I'm sure the two of us can find something for her to eat. How about you?"

Actually turning slightly green, Lucy shook her head. "No, I don't do food in the morning anymore. There is a 'script bottle in the top cabinet over the coffee maker. Would you?"

A few minutes later, Kevin appeared with a glass of water, and Lucy's prescription bottle. "I was hoping the report from Dr. Newman meant that you'd made up your mind."

"Kevin, who would believe I would have twins and they weren't yours? I don't call that a decision. It's more like backed into a corner." Immediately, she shook her head. "I didn't mean it that way. I'm tired, I'm queasy, and..." She shrugged. "I'm scared. So many things can go wrong, here. From Ryan right down to my medical history."

"Stop. Don't make things worse. Dr. Newman is very happy with your condition right now. She's going to see you every two weeks. And she knows your medical history. If she sees something she doesn't like, she'll see it early and deal with it. Unless you have a problem with it, I would like to go next time."

"Well, since you're taking the blame...." He shook his head and she smiled. "I'm kidding. You're going to be their father. I'm hoping you understand what that means. If you want to go, that's fine with me. I haven't said anything to Dr. Newman, but, considering the obvious," She put her hands on her stomach. "I don't think she'll be surprised."

Before Serena came back, Lucy had to ask him something. "How is Eve taking this?"

It was obviously a question Kevin didn't want to answer. "If I told you she was thrilled, would you believe me?"

"If you can't do this, I would understand." She wasn't about to let him see how much it would affect her.

"I'm going to do this. I made that clear to Eve. Those babies are all that matter right now. More than you, or me, or even Eve at this point. Making sure Ryan doesn't find out they're his. When he called you, what did you say to him?"

"I called him 'daddy'. What the hell do you think I said? Nothing. He thinks you came running to my rescue. He asked me if you wanted me now that he'd...." Shaking her head, she took few deep breaths and wiped her eyes. "I didn't tell him if you did or didn't. I think he assumed you did."

"Good. I hope we can-" He realized she wasn't listening to him. "Lucy, did you ever... talk to anyone about what happened?"

"You're still in the habit of deflecting the conversation. I asked you about Eve. What are you going to do?"

Before he could tell her she was the one deflecting the conversation, Serena reappeared. "I put my dish in the dishwasher, and put the milk away."

"Thank you, sweetie. Maybe next time, we can go shopping for the furniture for your room. That sound good?"

"Yes. But I liked sleeping in the big bed with you, too." She grinned. "Think you'll ever get all the crumbs out of the blanket?"

"Popcorn in bed is out next time, kiddo." But Lucy was smiling, and Serena knew she was kidding.

"Can you paint my nails?"

"Sure. Go pick a color."

Watching her run up the stairs, Kevin turned to Lucy. "How is she adjusting to the fact that you don't live with her and Scott anymore?"

"Actually, pretty well. I'm kind of surprised. She seems to accept it. Maybe. I guess time will tell."

"The important thing is that she knows how much you love her. I think she'll be fine."

"She doesn't understand why. And I can't explain it to her." She sighed.

"How is Scott?"

"How do you think? He's torn between wanting to never speak to me again and not wanting to lose his best friend. Which brings me back to the original question. How bad will this be on you and Eve?"

"It's not going to be easy. You're on Eve's list of favorite people right about the same place she is on yours. But she understands what it's about. I think once we make some decisions concerning the way we're going to handle this she'll be all right."

Any reply Lucy was going to make was interrupted by Serena running back down with a bottle of bright blue nail polish. Shaking the bottle, Lucy opened it. Before she could even start to paint the child's nails, the smell of the polish hit her. "Honey, this isn't going to work." Jumping up, she ran into the bathroom.

Serena looked at Kevin. "Is Lucy okay?"

"The smell of the polish made her sick. She'll be fine." Kevin hoped he was telling Serena the truth.

Closing the bottle, Serena stared at it. "It never made her sick before."

"It's only because she's pregnant. Come on, let's go get your stuff packed. When's you dad coming?" Kevin did not want to run into Scott.

"Not until later. Can you paint my nails?"

Kevin laughed. "I might paint your fingers more than you nails. I don't paint nails very often." The look on her face made him reconsider. "Let's go outside. So we don't make her sick again."

"Okay!"

Serena ran out the front door, Kevin knocked on the bathroom door. "Lucy? You okay?"

"Yes. I'll be out in a minute."

When she came out, she looked around for them. Through the window, she saw Kevin trying, and from the looks on their faces, not succeeding, to paint Serena's nails. Once again it hit her how good a father Kevin was going to be. How good a father he would have been if... The tears that always followed thoughts about their baby didn't fail her. Wiping her eyes, Lucy stood there, watching them. This would be the second time Kevin accepted her children by another man. Of course, this was different. He felt responsible this time. But it didn't mean he would love them any less.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Ryan couldn't figure out why he'd ended up back in Port Charles. Why he couldn't get Lucy out of his mind. Driving up the street to her house, he drove past it and stopped a few houses down. Getting out of the car, he walked back towards her house. The darkness would hide him from anyone who would be looking. The risk was stupid to take, and he knew he could be caught, but he couldn't resist. As he approached the back of her house, he saw her standing in the kitchen. When she turned around, his breath caught in his throat. She was pregnant. His first thought was that the baby was his.

Getting closer, he watched her fix herself something to eat. It was impossible, but Ryan could smell traces of her perfume as he watched her.

After almost an hour, Ryan decided he was pushing his luck too far. Going back to his car, he drove away from the house and decided he was going to stick around Port Charles for a while. The thought that Lucy might be pregnant with his child brought out feelings he never knew he was capable of having. A baby. It scared him at first, but the more he thought about it, the more the idea intrigued him. The fact that she was living alone told him a lot. Maybe Kevin hadn't come running to her rescue, after all. So, apparently she was planning on having the baby by herself. He had to know if her baby was his.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

For the next several days, Ryan followed Lucy from a discreet distance. Victor and Mary had been by to see her, but no one else. Ryan had begun to believe that she was on her own when Kevin came to see her. He couldn't tell what they were saying, but they stayed a distance apart. That told Ryan a lot. She got in his car and they left.

Taking the chance, he slipped into her house. The house was definitely her. He searched for some clue to her life. No trace of a man anywhere. Nothing in the bathroom, or the bedroom. She was alone. Why that made him happy, he had no idea. A few toys, but not baby toys, she must have the kid visiting her.

It surprised him there were very few baby things. He would have expected Lucy to start shopping for baby things the instant she found out she was pregnant.

When he got to the kitchen, he found numerous bottles of prenatal vitamins and prescriptions. Some were normal for pregnant women, but there were far too many prescriptions for a normal pregnancy. He wondered what was wrong, the concern he felt surprising him.

The front door opened, and he panicked. He hadn't heard the car pull into the driveway. As he stepped out the back door, Kevin and Lucy came through the front door. As they walked into the kitchen, Ryan couldn't help himself. He stayed right outside the door to hear what they were saying.

"Are you going to stop being so paranoid now? Dr. Newman is very happy with the way you're going." Kevin smiled at her.

"I can't help being paranoid. You should be able to understand that." Lucy opened the refrigerator and surveyed the contents.

Standing behind her, Kevin looked in the refrigerator. "Looks like you need to get to the store."

"I know. I haven't really felt up to it. Mary said she'd come by later today and maybe we'll go."

"Victor and Mary have taken this grandparent thing to the extreme. I'm supposed to call him and tell him everything when I get home."

"I know." Lucy laughed. "Mary has decided it's about time someone mothered me. It's almost a little too strange for me."

"I haven't had the pleasure, but it's okay. I'll take your word for it."

Shutting the refrigerator, she leaned back and put her hands on her back. "I need to sit down. My back is killing me."

Ryan watched Kevin put his hands on her lower back and massage her. He found himself losing his temper as she smiled and sighed.

"That feels great. I laid on my back too long for the exam." She winced slightly. "I don't think they liked it, either."

"Why?" Kevin's face showed concern.

"They're really moving."

"Really?" He put his arms around her.

Taking his hands, she laughed. "You can't feel them yet, it will probably be another month before you can."

"What does it feel like?"

Ryan held his breath. He was as intrigued as Kevin. It would have sent him into an uncontrollable rage if he'd known they had the same expression on their faces.

"Like.... little.... I don't know. Twitches, maybe? It's inside me, but it's not me." She shook her head. "I don't know how else to explain it."

"That's amazing." Kevin's voice was low.

"Definitely amazing. But wait until YOU feel them move." Facing him, she stared into his eyes. "I want these babies to have everything I didn't." She smiled. "That sounds like a line in a bad movie. But that's how I feel. I want them to know how loved they are. I don't want them to ever wonder about who they are. I want them to know their mother AND father wanted them."

"They will. I promise." Kevin touched her cheek briefly. "Come on. Mommy needs to lie down, and Daddy needs to get home."

As soon as they were out of the kitchen, Ryan ran to his car. He was almost screaming at himself in a rage. "Twins? She's going to have his twins? What is it with women? Why can't they care about a man that would stand by them and take care of them and their children? She's no better than Felicia. He came to her rescue, all right. Saves her from me, then leaves her with two babies and keeps his little Evie. Some knight in shining armor, Kevin." He didn't know what made him angrier. The fact that Kevin apparently suffered no consequences of his plan, or the fact that he'd stepped in, and 'helped' Lucy by getting her pregnant, and leaving her.

For the first time, Ryan considered the thought that he would be better for Lucy then Kevin.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Penny for your thoughts? You're a million miles away." Kevin smiled at Eve over the table.

"I'm actually thinking of your 'arrangement' with Lucy."

His smile faded. "We're not going to fight again, are we? We planned this night for two weeks, I really don't want to spend it fighting."

Now she smiled. "No. We're not. I'm actually surprised."

"At...?"

"I thought it would turn into Lucy calling you every minute of every day, 'can you?' 'would you?' 'I need you'. You haven't let her, and I appreciate that."

Kevin sighed. "I don't have a lot to do with this. Lucy's pretty intent on being on her own right now. I'm not saying I would let her, if she tried. But she hasn't. Contrary to everyone's belief, even hers, I think she's actually enjoying being on her own. Besides, she has Victor and Mary doing the grandparent thing. They can't wait until they get to babysit."

"I didn't realize how close Victor and Lucy were until this started."

"Victor cares about you, too."

Shaking her head, Eve tried to explain. "I know. I just never thought about how you're breaking up with Lucy affected Victor. He really loves her."

"To be honest, she's the reason he's here. He knows that. I told you all about it. I believe I also told you that they could get into trouble when they were left to amuse themselves." He laughed. "But I have to admit, they're crazy about each other."

"And I'm crazy about you, you know that?" Holding his hand, she kissed him.

"Are you sure you want to stay here and eat?"

"Can we take it home?" She stood.

"If we can't, we can get take out somewhere else." Kevin signaled the waiter.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Hey, babe. Whoa, big babe!" Luke kissed Lucy and put his hand on the babies. "Giving Mommy hell, I hope!"

"You don't know the half of it."

"No, YOU don't know the half of it. Wait until they're teenagers."

"Gee, Luke, I hadn't thought of that. Thank you for pointing it out."

Leaning down a bit, Luke spoke to them. "Just make sure you take after your mommy and Uncle Luke."

"Actually, saying that and teenagers in the same sentence made me remember something. I need to call my Aunt Charlene and apologize."

Putting his arm around her, he whispered in her ear. "I wish I'd known you when you were a teenager."

"I bet you do." She licked her lips and they both laughed.

"Let me guess. You need food."

"When don't I?" They sat at a table and Luke yelled at Clyde to get Lucy a salad.

Before it arrived, Lucy excused herself and stood. Before she got to her feet, a strange look crossed her face and she sat back down.

"What's wrong?" Walking around the table, Luke kneeled beside her.

A look of total panic crossed her face. "I don't know. But I don't think it's good."

Trying not to panic himself, Luke took her hand. "Are you in pain?"

"Not really. A little. I just don't feel right. I'm dizzy." She started to cry. "This isn't happening. Luke, please tell me this isn't happening."

"Calm down. That's the first thing I'm going to tell you." Pulling a chair next to her, he put his hand on the back of her head gently. "Listen to me, babe. You got to not panic, here. I'm going to get you up, and take you to GH, okay?"

She nodded and let him lead her out the door. The fact that she said nothing told Luke how terrified she was.


	7. Part 7

It was almost midnight when Kevin's phone rang, and for a brief moment, he almost didn't answer it. But Eve's shift was almost over at the hospital, and Lucy could need something.

"Hey Kevin, it's Luke."

His voice sounded strange. "Luke? Is something wrong?"

"It's Lucy."

"What? The babies? What's wrong with her? Luke! She can't go through this again. What's wrong?"

"Kevin! Now you need to calm down. You sound just like her. She's fine. Except for the fact that she won't calm down. We're at GH. The doctor thinks she's going to be okay, but she needs to calm down. And, of course, she won't. So I thought you might be able to help."

"I'm on my way." Kevin thought about writing Eve a note, but she should still be at the hospital when he got there, and he needed to get to Lucy.

When he got there, he saw Dr. Newman in the hallway. He forgot all about finding Eve when the doctor started speaking.

"Kevin, the babies are fine. You need to stay calm, because she needs you to calm her down. She's understandably afraid. But the thing to remember here is that everything is fine."

"If everything is fine, why is she here?"

"She's anemic, which is not completely unusual for pregnancy, and more so for twins. We can treat that very easily. What I'm worried about now is her blood pressure. It wouldn't be too high if she'd calm down. I'd really like to give her something to calm her down and send her home. Keeping her here is probably making the problem worse. She's afraid there's something I'm not telling her."

Nodding, Kevin entered her room.

When Lucy saw him, she sat up, despite Luke's protest. "Why are you here?"

Luke waved his hand. "I called him."

"Why?"

"Because I was going to knock you out myself if you didn't calm down. Maybe he can get through to you." He looked at Kevin.

Sitting on the bed next to her, Kevin took her hand. "Luke's right."

That statement alone had the desired effect. Lucy stopped and stared at him.

"That had to hurt." Luke laughed.

"You have no idea." Kevin smiled and squeezed her hand. "There is nothing wrong with the babies. They're fine. You need to watch your diet a little more."

"I've done everything Dr. Newman told me to-"

"It's not anything you did. You're anemic. I'm sure she told you."

Luke watched Kevin touch her face gently, wondering what was going on in his mind.

Lucy started to say something, but Kevin shook his head. "Listen to me, okay? I'm telling you everything. Your blood pressure is high. You have to calm down. That's the way to lower it without drugs. Dr. Newman will release you if your pressure drops a little. So if you calm down, you can go home. Okay?"

Nodding, she looked at both of them. "I was just scared."

"I know. You have every reason to be. But nothing's wrong. Do-" He shook his head. He'd been about to ask her if she trusted him. Until he remembered the tirade the word trust had started with her before. Then another memory hit him. The last time she'd been pregnant, they'd been in GH. Her in the bed, him beside her, holding her hand almost exactly like he was now. He'd asked her if she trusted him right before they'd confirmed Lucy's miscarriage.

"Doc?" Worry crossed her face. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Nothing. Come here." Sliding up the bed, he wrapped his arms around her. "You're fine, the babies are fine."

He sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself. Lucy had no idea where that had come from, but she didn't care. She'd always felt safe in his arms, and that moment was no different.

Luke watched their faces with interest. He'd always known how Lucy felt about Kevin, but he found himself wondering exactly what was happening in Kevin's heart where she was concerned. "Hey, I've got a club to close. You okay with her here?"

Nodding, Kevin pulled away from her and looked at him. "Thanks for calling me."

Luke hugged her. "You need me, call, okay?"

"Thanks, Luke." She squeezed his hand.

After Luke was gone, Kevin held her face in his hand. "You need to stay calm, okay? I'm going to leave you for a minute, but I'll be right back."

She nodded.

He went to look for Eve, but she'd already gone. Taking out his phone to call her, Dr. Newman's voice distracted him. "Kevin, we just checked her pressure again. If you're ready to take her home, I'll sign her out. I gave her a list of instructions, and I gave her a prescription for something to help keep her calm. Nothing that will effect the baby, but it should help."

"Thanks. I'll go get her."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

When they reached Lucy's house, Kevin got her something to drink while she went upstairs and got into bed.

As he climbed the stairs, he heard her crying. "Lucy?"

She was lying down on her side, her back to the door.

Reaching out to stroke her hair, he sat next to her on the bed. "You're okay. I promise."

"I know. I don't know why I can't stop crying. I'm sorry."

Leaning against the headboard, he put his arm over her shoulder. "You don't have any reason to be sorry."

"If you want to go home, you can."

"I want to help you."

Slowly, with a little help from Kevin, she rolled over and looked at him. "You are. And I do appreciate it. You're putting yourself in a position that-"

"Don't. I understand the position. And you're right. I put myself here. I did it because I want to. Come here." Putting his arms around her, he held her against him. "You're not alone in this, Lucy. I'll do anything I can to help you."

For the first time all night, Lucy relaxed. Knowing she was exhausted, Kevin held her protectively and stroked her hair. It was only a matter of minutes before she fell asleep. Only intending to stay with her for a while, Kevin leaned against the headboard and closed his eyes.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

The sun coming through the bedroom window woke Kevin. Opening his eyes, he squinted for a moment before looking at her. When he tried to move, she looked at him.

"What time is it?"

Looking over her shoulder, Kevin stared at the clock. "Later than you think."

She smiled at him. "Late enough that you're going to be in trouble, right?"

Wincing, he put his head back. "I never called her!"

Slowly, she sat up and looked at him. "You spent the night with me and you never even called Eve to tell her what was going on? Forget trouble, she's going to kill you!"

"She's not like that, Lucy. I'll explain what happened."

Lucy laughed. "Oh, yeah, falling asleep in my bed will go over real well."

"It's not funny." He almost smiled at her. "I don't think I'll say it like that."

"Smart man." She started to laugh harder, then stopped. Jumping out of bed, Lucy ran into the bathroom.

Kevin sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to come out. "You all right?"

"It's not a day in my life if I don't throw up. Every day since I got pregnant." She smiled. "I'm fine. Dr. Newman isn't worried about it. As long as I keep a certain amount of food down every day. And whatever it is she gave me, it helps." Turning, she went downstairs.

In the kitchen, she looked at him. "You need to go home and dig yourself out."

"I want to be sure you're-"

"Okay. I know. And I do appreciate, it. Last night really scared me. But I'm calm, and I know what I'm supposed to do. You can go. Really." His expression still showed doubt. "Kevin, I need to do this on my own. I admit I lost it last night. But I'm fine now. I'm not making sense, am I."

"Actually, you are. I guess I can't get used to you being so independent. That's my problem, not yours." He squeezed her hand for a moment. "You're right. I need to go. I have a lot of explaining to do." Kissing her cheek, he left.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

When Kevin opened the door to the lighthouse, Eve was sitting on the sofa, staring at him. The look on her face told him exactly how upset she was. "I'm sorry probably won't cut it, right?"

"If you'd had the common decency to at least call me, I might have not been upset."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Why should I have, Kevin? I came home. You were my priority. If I can't fit onto your list of things to do, why should I push it?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry. Can you at least let me explain?"

Eve laughed, but it was sarcastic. "You've been hanging out with Lucy way too much. Let me explain is one of her favorite lines when she knows she screwed up. You know you screwed up, so you want to....what, Kevin. Plead your case? What is there to say? I'm assuming Lucy is the reason you stayed out all night."

Kevin explained the situation in ten words or less while Eve glared at him. When he was done, she sighed. "I'm glad she's okay. I really am. I hope she carries them to term, and they're healthy. I would never wish anything that bad on Lucy. But I'm still having a very hard time with this. You spent the night with her, and didn't even think to call me."

"I was worried about her. The babies."

"See?" Eve started to cry. "You keep saying that she's not part of this! But you can't distinguish. Because there is no difference. Lucy and the twins are one and the same."

"You're right! She's pregnant! They are one and the same right now. But hopefully she will carry to term, and then there will be two babies that will call me 'Daddy'. And they will be separate from Lucy. Why can't you understand that?" His anger was getting the better of him.

"Because there's months in between, and I don't trust her! By then, how do I know that you won't feel like you need to be a full time father?" Eve hadn't wanted to say all this. But it was too late. "She's going to get your attention anyway she can, Kevin. She loves you! How am I supposed to feel?" Tears ran down her face. "I didn't want to tell you this. I didn't want things to go like this between us. I understand. Really, I do. You can't let Ryan find out about the babies. And the fact that there are two puts you in a position of claiming them yourself, or letting him figure it out. My head understands this. My heart feels like it's only a matter of time before Lucy gets everything she wants. And I don't like it!"

Before Kevin could answer, she left. Too many things had been said. Too many things could still be said, but none of it could ever be taken back.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Ryan made sure Kevin was still at the lighthouse before he went to Ferncliff. When he saw Eve leave, obviously angry, he smiled. Maybe Lucy would let him come and go from her bed as he pleased, but apparently Evie was not playing. He'd seen Kevin leave Lucy's an hour ago, and wanted to know what he intended to do with his day.

When Ryan went in to see Julie, he looked at her for a long moment.

His stare made Julie nervous. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I want to know...." Ryan stopped. He was surprising himself. "I want to know if you can feel the baby inside you."

"What?"

"There is a baby inside you. We've already established the pillow is fake, but the baby is real, remember? I want to know what it's like."

Julie had no idea where this was going. But she didn't want to play. "Kevin, do you want to tell me what this is about?"

"No. I don't. I asked you a fairly direct question. You're going to have a baby very soon, and I want to know what it feels like." The truth was that he didn't know what it was about. But he could get answers out of Julie. Stepping closer, he was rewarded by her stepping away from him, a look of almost fear crossing her face.

"What's the matter, Julie? Does it bother you that I may have your number? Maybe I know what you're up to, and I could stop you?"

"I'm not up to anything. I just want to know what you want from me."

"Maybe just some answers. If you answer me, maybe I'll leave."

There was nowhere to go. In the corner, she stared at him. "It feels.... like... there's a baby inside me."

Ryan was getting angry. "That's not an answer, Julie." Grabbing her arm, he leaned closer to her. "There's been a baby inside you for how many months? I want to know WHAT IT'S LIKE."

His voice took on a threatening tone, and Julie didn't like it. She began to feel real fear. But she still wouldn't let him see it. "I don't want to talk to you about it. This baby is mine. I don't have to share her with anyone!"

Her statement confused him. "Yours? Is that how you feel?"

"Of course that's how I feel. What's going on inside my body is no one's business but mine." Julie knew she had thrown him with that.

"What about the father?"

"What about him?"

Her answer infuriated him but he had no idea why. "What does that mean, what about the father?! You don't think he'd want to know everything about her? How she's growing, how her heartbeat sounds, how it feels? That's his baby, too. Who do you think you are shutting the father of the baby out? What if you're wrong, what if the father isn't who you think it is?" Ryan was no longer talking to Julie. Pacing around the room, he continued his monologue, ranting now. "All women lie! It's always possible! What if he's not the father? I want to know everything!"

Suddenly he realized where he was. Smiling, he looked at her. "Can you feel the baby move?"

Julie wanted to scream. Kevin was losing it, she was sure of that. She'd heard about his breakdown, but now she felt as if she were watching him have another one. Having this over his head seemed to have been a ridiculous idea now. Even the thought of making him help her get out wasn't worth what he looked like he was capable of doing.

"Kevin, can you tell me what's wrong?" She tried to keep her voice even and calm.

"No, I can't." His tone was sarcastic. "You're not learning anything in here, are you. You haven't figured anything out, you only think you have. And you are SO wrong! You think Kevin's losing it, don't you? Well, you better hope I don't lose it." Crossing the room, he put his face inches from hers. "When I lose it, people get hurt. Very badly."

Julie couldn't hide her fear any longer, and it made him smile. "Now you're getting the message. I hope you learned something here. Don't cross me. You have no idea what you're inviting if you do." Forcing himself to walk away from her, he pounded on the door. When the guard opened the door, he turned to her and smiled. "Take care of yourself. I'll come see you again"

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Eve still had an hour before she was on duty, but she couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Sitting on the sofa in the On Call Room, she wondered how much longer she would have the room to herself.

As if in answer to her question, Chris opened the door and smiled. "Long time, no see."

"I needed to do some thinking. And I wanted to at least try to be alone."

Sitting beside her, he shrugged. "Oh well. I'm here now. What's up in the world of Eve Lambert?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Gee.." Chris scratched his head in an exaggerated fashion. "Couldn't have anything to do with Lucy Coe being here last night, and a certain guy named Kevin Collins running to take care of her, would it?" Gently, he pushed her shoulder with his own.

Eve just stared at him.

"You know all about it, don't you." It wasn't a question.

"Chris, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Eve, what the hell is he doing? Why would he show up if...." Chris thought he'd figured it out. "Lucy's babies?"

"Lucy's and..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Kevin's." Chris looked at her, shaking his head. "I can't believe this. What are you going to do?"

"He doesn't want to go back to her, if that's what you're thinking. He loves me, Chris."

"If he loves you so much, why did he-" The look on her face stopped him. "Eve, I can't believe you're just going to accept it. After he came running last night, it's only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out. Then what?"

"Then I deal with it. He's going to raise those babies with her, and I'm not going to tell him he can't."

"What about you? Where do you fit in?" His tone was quiet, knowing how much this was hurting her.

"I'm the one he loves, Chris. I know that."

Chris didn't know if she was trying to convince him or herself. But it didn't matter. She was hurting, and it was time for him to stop making it worse. "I know you love him, and whatever you decide to do, I still love you."

"I know." Forcing a smile, she squeezed his hand. "I'm on duty in less than an hour, you're going home, right?"

"Yes. You want me to come back and grab lunch with you later?"

"I don't know. Call me when you wake up." Standing, she went to her locker. "Thanks, Chris. I know you're only trying to help."

After he was gone, Eve sat back down on the sofa. Chris was right. Now that Kevin had run to Lucy last night, it was only a matter of time before everyone figured out that he was the father. After that, it was only an even shorter matter of time before everyone started staring at her and wondering. And a lot of them wouldn't be as nice as Chris.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Kevin waited in the lobby for Eve to finish her shift. Things had become very strained between them in the last few weeks since the news of Lucy's pregnancy had become common knowledge at GH. He was trying to reassure Eve that he could make this work. So he'd made it a point to spend as much time with her as possible. He'd only seen Lucy when she had appointments with Dr. Newman, and he'd only spoken to her once a day on the phone.

Until now. Laughter that could only be Lucy's carried down the hallway. Between Victor and Mary, Lucy was hanging on to both of their arms. "I can't believe you came up with this," She tugged on Mary's arm. "And that you are going along with this." She kissed Victor's cheek.

"Nonsense. Who else would?" Victor squeezed her arm. "Besides, this is a fascinating experience for me."

"I have to admit, I'm a little confused. When they asked everyone to think of something they could carry with them to make them focus more, most women think of a stuffed animal, a pillow, a blanket." Mary laughed. "Victor said that your first thought for your focus for your Lamaze was a credit card?"

Lucy started laughing so hard she had to stop walking. Putting her hand over her tummy, she whined. "It actually hurts to laugh that hard." To get out of the other couple's way, she leaned against the wall. "It makes sense if you think about it. I'm very familiar with it, and it comforts me. It has never judged me, it has always given me everything I need, from gasoline to food, to bail." She smiled at Victor. "It never lied to me, never cheated on me, never walked out on me. Find me a man with all that going for him? I don't think so. At least not one I've met."

"She's got a point." Another very pregnant Lamaze student had stopped to listen to Lucy and laughed. Her husband was not AS amused, but he laughed.

All of them stood there, laughing, until Lucy saw Kevin staring at her. He definitely was NOT amused. She tried to stop smiling, but did not succeed. "No offense."

"Oh, none taken." If he'd been anymore sarcastic, it would have physically dripped from his body.

"Oh, Monk, what's happened to your sense of humor?" Victor tried to smooth his son's feathers.

"Nothing. I love being the butt of Lucy's jokes."

"Since when do you take everything I say that personally anymore?" Walking to him, she stared him in the eyes. "I don't remember the last time I said anything you really cared to hear."

"Maybe I feel like you don't want to tell me anything. And I don't know why. Dammit, Lucy, they're my children." Turning from her, he walked away.

Shaking her head slowly, Lucy looked at Victor and Mary. "Would someone please tell me what that was all about? I thought I was the one who was supposed to get all hormonal and act all weird."

"Did Kevin know Mary had signed you up for Lamaze?"

"No. He only calls me once a day. He wants to know when all my doctor's appointments are, but that's pretty much been the end of it since he spent the night with me a few weeks ago."

Victor took her hand. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he wanted to do this with you?"

"No. Why would it? He told me that he has to show Eve that she is important to him, and that these children won't be the end of them. So why would I expect him to want to waste precious time away from her to come to all these stupid classes with me?" Tears came and she walked away.

Mary stared at Victor. "Let me guess. He feels shut out, and she wants him there?"

"I knew I married a smart woman. I'll go get his side, you get hers."

Victor chased Kevin to the waiting room. "Would you like to explain that?"

"What's there to explain? Lucy is in Lamaze class with HER babies, and my father, right?"

"What you need to explain is the mixed messages you keep sending her." Dragging Kevin to the far corner of the room, he stared at him. "You told her you wanted to spend more time with Eve, right?"

"Yes. I need to make sure Eve knows how I feel."

"How do you feel? I mean, Lucy has left you alone, right?"

"Yes."

"That's what you wanted, right? You didn't want her to come between you and Eve, right?"

"She wasn't coming between me and Eve. I... I.." He sighed. "I want her to know I'm here. That I when I said I was the father, I meant it. I want to be there for everything."

"You need to tell her that. If you want to go to Lamaze with her, tell her! Don't expect her to read your mind. You can't tell her one thing, then get mad at her for not guessing what you're thinking."

Staring at his father, Kevin knew he was right. Before he could say anything, he saw Lucy approaching them. Her eyes were red, she'd been crying. Taking her hand, he led her to the sofa. "I guess we need to talk."

She shrugged.

"Can we please talk?"

"What do you want me to talk about? My next appointment isn't until Tuesday. I'm on a few different vitamins, and you know all this. What else?" She wanted him to be the one to say it.

"What about Lamaze?"

"What about it? Mary signed me up, and told Victor to take me. Two nights a week until about the time I'm due." She stared at him, almost shocked. "Don't tell me this is about the credit card comment. You are not that petty." Pausing, she leaned back. "Maybe it has been a while. Are you?"

"No. That's not what I'm..." He sighed. Taking her hand, he squeezed it. "I just wanted to..." Staring at the wall behind her, he searched for the words. "I want to be more involved, Lucy." His eyes finally met hers.

"Since when? You said you didn't want to spend so much time with me that it upset Eve. How much time is that, Kevin? I can't judge that. I've only gone by what you've told me! And how YOU'VE acted!" With a little help from him, she stood, shaking his hand off her back. "I'm having a hard enough time these days knowing what's going on in my own mind, I couldn't begin to figure out what's going on in yours! You can't imagine what I'm thinking, feeling... No, that's not it. You've made it clear you can't care! It interferes with your life." Tears came to her eyes, and she desperately needed to escape his stare. Wiping her face, she headed toward the elevator.

Eve came down the hall and stopped when she saw Kevin chase Lucy into the elevator. The doors shut behind them, and she shook her head. After ten minutes, she finally made a decision. So much for dinner with Kevin. Picking up the phone on the counter, she dialed Chris's number.

"Kevin, what do you want? Do you want to go to the classes with me? Fine. But you have to tell me. Do you think it's Victor's idea of a good time?" She couldn't help herself, she started to laugh. "Oh, yeah, I can see Victor's goal in life was always to be a Lamaze coach for his grandchildren. Can you see it?" Leaning against the wall to the elevator, she laughed harder. "Maybe you can coach one, and he can coach the other. I'm sorry. Things that aren't funny just seem hilarious to me lately."

His expression told her he found no humor in what she was saying, but was a little worried that she did find it funny.

"Do you want to come to the classes with me, or not? This is not a hard question." A trace of a smile still on her face, she stared him down.

"Yes. Does that bother you?"

"No." She shook her head and smiled. "All you had to do was say it."

The elevator doors opened, and she stepped out.

"Have you eaten?"

"As a matter of fact, I have. I've eaten, I've gone to my class, I'm going home, and I'm going to get some sleep. Next class is day after tomorrow. Ta, Doc." Kissing his cheek, she went out the door.

As soon as she was outside the hospital, she leaned against the wall and let her tears fall.

_**Standing here helpless  
Where do I go  
If you leave me alone  
If it don't work out  
As far as I can see  
This isn't the way  
That you said it would be**_

Kevin went back upstairs, only to find out that Eve had left. The ride in the elevator to the parking garage was long and lonely.

_**Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
If you walk away now  
You leave me empty handed  
Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me....**_

Eve waited outside the main entrance for Chris. The sight of Kevin chasing Lucy wouldn't leave her mind. Fighting tears, she stared up and down the street looking for his car.

_**Wasn't it you  
Who brought me here  
To the place lovers go  
Just look at these arms  
Reaching out to you  
You said that you'd always care  
I just turned around  
And there's nobody there**_

Sitting in the driver's seat of his car, Kevin put his head on the steering wheel. Lucy, walking away from him. Eve leaving without a word.

_**Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
If you walk away now  
And leave me empty handed  
Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me...**_

Driving home, Lucy couldn't stop shaking she was crying so hard. Damn him! Every time she thought she knew what he was thinking, and she had their relationship straight in her head, he pulled a stunt like this.

_**You said that you'd always care  
I just turned around, and there's nobody there**_

Chris finally pulled up to where Eve was standing. The look on her face when she got int the car told him she was in a lot of pain. Without a word, he drove away.

_**Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
If you walk away now  
And leave me empty handed  
Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
Don't leave me like this  
Don't leave me stranded  
Stranded**_

_**Song credit "Stranded" by Heart**_

**__**

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

The next day, Lucy answered the door to find Kevin standing outside. Smiling, she opened the door for him to walk inside.

"How are you?"

She laughed. "How am I? You're the one who was so upset last night. What do you want me to say? I'm fine. Are you here to tell me you changed your mind?"

"About?" He returned her smile, but his eyes never left her growing belly.

The smile on her face faltered slightly. "Lamaze?" Suddenly she had a very bad feeling. Something wasn't right, and she was almost afraid.

"No. I haven't changed my mind." Crossing to her, he put his hand on the babies. "I'm the father. We're going to have twins. God, you're glowing."

His eyes finally met hers and Lucy knew. Her heart started to pound, and she could barely breathe. But she couldn't let Ryan know she knew who he was. "I've never been happier."

"Are you sure you're okay on your own? Do you need anything?"

Moving out of his reach, she struggled to keep her composure. "I'm fine. I've told you. I actually like being on my own. I admit, I never thought I would be okay on my own, but I am."

Putting her hands protectively on her babies, she wondered what he was talking about. His tone actually sounded sincere. "Kevin, I'm just tired right now. I need to get some rest, and I have to go to Jax this afternoon."

"You have to go to work? Shouldn't you be resting? Aren't you overdoing it?" His tone started to rise, and it made her nervous.

"I'm fine. The babies are healthy. I see Dr. Newman every two weeks. She told me I can go to work as long as I'm not too tired. And if I lay down now, I'll be okay to go this afternoon."

Her heart felt like it was about to jump out of her body, and she knew it wasn't good for the babies. But neither was Ryan figuring out she knew who he was.

Fortunately, Ryan wasn't in the mood to push his luck. "I'll let you get some sleep. I just needed to see you. I wanted to check up on our babies." Knowing there was nothing going on between her and Kevin, he simply walked out the door.

As soon as he was gone, Lucy allowed her tears to fall while she picked up the phone and dialed. "Luke? It's Lucy. The situation we discussed a while ago? Guess who's back." The rest of what she was going to say was lost in an uncontrollable wave of hysteria.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Unaware of what was going on at Lucy's, Kevin went to Ferncliff. Eve had come home late and gone right to bed. There didn't seem to be anything he could say to her. And it had been almost a week since he'd seen Julie, and he felt guilty about not making the time to see her. When Julie was brought into the room, she stared at Kevin with a look of almost terror on her face. Then it was gone, and she was staring at him.

"Julie? Is something wrong?"

She didn't answer. Her eyes locked with his, and she stared into them, looking for a clue to what his mood was today.

"Are you okay?" The concern on his face eased Julie's mind a bit.

"Just wondering what I'm in store for today."

"What's wrong? Can you tell me what you're thinking?"

"I don't want to tell you anymore. I really don't want to talk to you anymore."

Looking at her, Kevin stepped away from her. "Julie, if you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you."

"Help me? Help me!?" That was all Julie could take. "What you'd better do is get some help for yourself!" Standing close to the door, she watched him carefully. "I'm tired of this, this... whatever game it is you're playing. With me, with yourself, in your mind. I don't know, I don't care. I'm tired of you threatening me, playing with me, whatever it is you're doing with me. Leave me alone!"

Completely confused, Kevin stared at her. "Julie, can you tell me what you're talking about? I don't know what I've done to upset you."

Her eyes searched his face. Finding no hint that he was lying, she shook her head. "Do you not remember what you say to me when you visit?"

That dark thought in the back of Kevin's mind made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He had to know more. "What did I say? I need your help, Julie. If I'm not remembering, I need to know."

"You really don't remember threatening me? I may be crazy, but I'm not imagining this! One time you're here, you're nice and I believe you want to help me. The next, you act like it's all you can do to not kill me yourself! What's going on here?"

"I threatened you?" Kevin knew, but he didn't want to. "When's the last time I acted like this?"

"A couple days ago! Kevin, are you in trouble?" Julie was catching herself worrying about him. Yes, she wanted to use him, and make him work for her, but he didn't deserve another breakdown.

"No. I'm not in trouble. At least not the way you think I am." Standing, Kevin knew he had to make some arrangements. "It won't happen again. I'm going to make sure of it. When I can, I promise I'll tell you more. But right now, I have to go."

At the guard desk, he left strict instructions that he was not to be allowed to see Julie unless he could provide identification. A quick conference with Julie's attending physician assured him that everyone would be aware that Ryan might come back. If he could not provide proof of identification, he would be held and the PCPD call immediately.

Standing outside Ferncliff, he called Mac. After telling him that Ryan had apparently been there in the last few days, he headed for Lucy's house. She had to know, and he felt it was his place to tell her in person. He did remember to call Eve and tell her. Mac had agreed to send a uniform to GH and keep an eye on her.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Kevin made it to Lucy's in half the normal time. When he knocked on the door, he was startled to see Luke open it. Before he could say a word, Luke had his arms behind his back and his face to the wall. "What the hell do you want?"

Knowing what Luke was thinking, he didn't resist. "I take it you know Ryan's been around." He felt what could only be the muzzle of a gun in the center of his back

"Not a word yet. Don't move." Luke pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and opened it. "Sorry, Kev. No offense."

Turning to look at him, Kevin shrugged. "What could you do? You're protecting her. What happened?"

Dragging him inside, Luke locked the door, both the doorknob, and the new deadbolt. "Come on." Luke led him upstairs. "It's okay, Luce!"

Lucy was sitting on the bed, anxiously watching the steps. Tears were running down her face and she looked to Kevin to be on the verge of total hysteria.

Sitting beside her, Kevin took her in his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just found out myself."

"He was here! I thought it was you, and I opened the door! Kevin, he touched me! He put his hands on my babies! What if he knows? What if he..." She couldn't finish.

Looking at Luke, Kevin held her tighter. The men's eyes met with the same thought. If Ryan knew for sure, Lucy wouldn't be there with them.

"Lucy, listen to me. Please." Keeping his voice low and calm, Kevin tried to get through to her. "You need to relax. Ryan's gone now. And Luke's here. I'm here. We're not going to let Ryan get to you again, are we?"

Luke shook his head. "No way, darlin'."

"And Luke has a pretty big gun. I met it first hand."

"Actually, you know, Kev, we need to work out a signal. I'd hate like hell to hurt the wrong one."

"Thanks for the concern."

Luke shrugged. "She cares." Sitting on the other side of her, Luke took her hand. "She's been like this ever since she called me. About two hours ago."

Kevin understood what Luke was saying. The state she was in was very bad for the babies. She had to calm down. "Lucy, look at me." Gently, he turned her face to look at him. "You need to stop. I know you're scared. But Ryan is not the main concern at this moment." He put his hand on her. "They are. Please stop. Deep breaths, stop panicking, let Luke and me worry about Ryan. You worry about them." The words coming out of Kevin's mouth about Luke shocked Kevin even as he said them. But looking at Luke, he knew it was right. Luke could, and would, kill Ryan if it came down to protecting Lucy. And that was what might be needed before this was all over.

"Please. You need to lie down. Try to relax." Stroking her hair, Kevin helped her lie down on her side. She was still crying, but now it was a silent shaking. It wasn't better, but at least she could hear him now. He continued to whisper to her, reassuring her gently. Another knock on the door made her jump.

Pulling out his gun, Luke ran downstairs. It was only a few seconds before his voice carried up the stairs. "It's Mac!"

Luke reappeared. "He wants to talk to you."

"Stay with her." Leaving Luke sitting on the bed with her, Kevin went down to see what Mac had found.

Mac sat at the kitchen table while Kevin made tea. "Let me guess. Nothing."

"Not a sign of him. There's a squad at the lighthouse and I sent a man to the hospital to watch Eve. When did he last see Julie?"

Kevin told him everything he knew, which wasn't much. At some point he had to get back to Ferncliff and talk to Julie. But right now, Lucy was his main concern. "Now what?"

"Same as before. Road blocks. A car here. I would also recommend security. Private. I can give you a few names."

"I'm sure Luke knows a few."

Mac shook his head. "I can't believe you said that."

"Me either. But I think Luke is better suited to handle the Ryan problem than I am. He has no feeling other then hatred for him. No conflict. He cares about Lucy, and he'll do whatever it takes to protect her."

Whatever they were about to say was interrupted by Luke's voice carrying downstairs. "Kevin! Get up here!"

Before they got to the bottom of the stairs, they heard Lucy scream.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Luke was kneeling beside her. Once again, she was hysterical, but Ryan had nothing to do with it this time. As Kevin leaned beside her, she screamed again. The pain on her face terrified Kevin, but he couldn't let her see it. Her eyes met his. "This isn't happening. Doc, please tell me this isn't happening."

"You need to calm down." Holding her hand, he stroked her hair. "Luke, we're going to have to take her to GH. Can you help me get her down the stairs?"

Responding to the calm, smooth tone of his voice, Luke nodded. "I'll get this side. Come on, Luce. We got you."

Gently, they led her down the stairs. Mac held the door for them, and they put her in his truck. Luke up front with Mac, Kevin in the back, with Lucy lying down, her head in his lap. Kevin was fighting his own panic while trying to keep her from going back into hysteria. His mind wouldn't even form the word contraction. It was way too early. If she went into labor now, she would probably lose both of them. With the siren, they made it to GH fairly quickly.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Dr. Newman was waiting for them when they arrived at ER. Kevin went with her while Mac and Luke stayed in the waiting room.

The look on Lucy's face almost broke Kevin's heart. She was absolutely petrified. "Lucy, please. Listen to me. I know you're scared, I know it hurts, but you need to listen to me." Leaning over her, he held her hand and whispered in her ear.

"I'm scared, Doc. If it's bad, I don't want to know." She cried out again in pain.

Fighting his own tears, he stepped back and held her hand tighter. "Dr. Newman is going to examine you."

"Lucy, you need to calm down." Dr. Newman stood next to the bed and looked at her. "Hold his hand, and look at me. You're going to be okay. You need to calm down. Can you hear that?"

The monitor beside the bed was making a rapid beating noise. When Lucy nodded, Dr. Newman smiled. "That's the heartbeats. As long as we hear that, it's good. Your heart is going almost as fast, and that's not good. You need to calm down. I want you to take a couple deep breaths, okay? I want to run a few more tests. We're going to find out why you're in pain, and we're going to make it stop. Kevin's going to stay with you, and I'm going to be right back."

After nodding at Kevin, she left the room.

Sitting on the bed next to her, Kevin held her shoulders. "You're fine. The babies are fine. Did you hear that?"

Lucy nodded.

Holding her tighter, Kevin listened to the sound of the babies heartbeats. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until the monitor had picked up the sound. The sound that told him that his babies were alright. The thought sunk in to his mind. His babies. That was how he thought about them. How he felt.

"It's going to happen this time, isn't it? Tell me I'm going to have two beautiful babies, please? I need to hear it. Even if you don't know for sure, I just need to hear it."

"Lucy, you heard Dr. Newman. As long as we can hear the heartbeat, everything's fine. But your heart racing will make theirs race, too. You need to stop. Listen. Listen to that. That's our babies."

Finally she smiled. "Yeah, Doc. Our babies." Touching his face, she pulled him closer to her, about to kiss him. Then she realized what she was about to do, and leaned back, closing her eyes and smiling to herself. They sat there, holding hands, waiting for the doctor to return.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

It was about two hours later before Kevin went to the waiting room. Luke stood. "Well?"

Kevin shrugged. "Stress. She's under too much of it. Where's Mac? "

"He went to the station. Call him when you get a chance. He sent a few friends over. But she's okay? The kids?"

Nodding, Kevin looked at Luke for a moment. "Fine. But she needs to avoid the stress. I want to thank you for..."

"It's okay. I just want to know she's okay."

"She's fine. They want to keep her here overnight. I don't know what else yet. When Dr. Newman's done, can you stay with her for a little while? They're going to take her up to a room. I have to..." He stopped.

"Go see Eve, Kevin. You don't have to worry about me caring."

When Kevin found Eve, he looked at her for a moment.

"Kevin, I'm fine. I haven't heard from him. Mac's shadow has been about ten feet from me since he got here. I heard Lucy'd been brought in. How is she?"

"Okay. Too much stress. He went to her. Started asking questions about the babies."

Eve shook her head. "He doesn't suspect, does he?"

"Who knows? I gave up trying to figure out how his mind works." He shook his head. "But I guess I'd better start trying. He's too close. He's too close to her." The anger in him startled Eve. He sounded possessive.

"I take it you're going to stay with her?"

"Luke's with her right now. I'm going to go check on her, but I had to see you." Gently, he pulled her into his arms. "I don't want you alone at the lighthouse tonight."

"I don't get off for another hour. I have to admit I don't relish the thought of going there alone right now." She was hoping he'd leave Luke to take care of Lucy and go home with her.

"I can't leave her alone too long."

Eve's voice rose and she glared at Kevin. "She's not alone. You just told me that Luke is with her."

Kevin sighed and held Eve's hands. "I don't think you're the one he's after. Lucy and I are the ones he wants to hurt. I could be endangering you by being near you. I'm just not comfortable with you being alone. Just to be safe."

"Then come home with me."

"Let me see how Lucy is. Meet me on 5 when you're done." Kissing her once, he went to Lucy's room.

When Kevin opened the door, Luke looked at him and put his finger to his lips. ''She finally went to sleep.''

''What else did Dr. Newman say?'' He stood close to Luke and whispered.

''She needs to stay calm.'' Glancing at her, he motioned for Kevin to follow him out the door. ''Dr. Newman mentioned keeping her here until she delivers. You can take one guess how well that went over.''

''Lucy in here for another 3 months?'' He shook his head. ''Probably not that long, given her medical history, but I'm sure she didn't take that news too well.''

''How about..... no.'' Luke smiled. ''We're working on a solution that will make everyone happy. Dr. Newman wants her on total bed rest for a while, but she lives alone. That appears to be the problem.''

''She'll have to have someone with her.'' Kevin looked at the door to her room. ''I need to talk to Victor and Mary. They have no idea what's going on.''

''Yes they do. Mary showed up a few minutes ago, and she's calling Victor as we speak. She's not happy with you for not calling them.''

''Gee, thanks. I guess we'll have to figure something out. Lucy won't stay here. She'll be climbing the walls.''

''Climbing over them is more like it.'' Luke actually laughed. ''So what are you going to do?''

''I don't know. I need to call Mac.''

''I have a few things I need to do. I'll be back if she needs me.''

''A few things?''

Luke nodded. ''She'll fill you in. We talked.''

As Kevin walked to the door, Luke grabbed his arm. ''She's going to be safe. I can do that. But I can't help her feelings. You have to do that.''

''What do you mean?''

''Oh, you're a smart man. Or so she's told me. You figure it out.'' With that, Luke was gone.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Victor and Mary entered Lucy's room quietly. Kevin was sitting next to the bed and Lucy was still asleep. Standing, Kevin led them out to the hallway.

When Victor and Mary heard the whole story, they both looked at Kevin.  
''What are we going to do about Ryan?'' Victor stared at the door. ''We have to keep him away from her.''

''I know. I'm not sure how to do it. The one thing I don't want him to do is suspect anything.'' Kevin cracked her door and saw that she was awake.

''Why are you still here?''

Her question surprised him, and he walked over to her. ''I had to know you were alright.''

''I'm better now.'' She saw Victor and Mary and smiled. They went to her and hugged her.

Kevin stood back watching the three of them, feeling very left out. Victor's words echoed in his mind. 'You can't say one thing, and get mad when she doesn't read your mind.'

''Kevin said the babies are fine.'' Mary pushed Lucy's hair back off her face gently.

''It was their mother who was a total wreck.'' Lucy shrugged. ''I panicked. Where did Luke go?''

''He said he had some things to take care of and you would explain.'' Kevin looked at her.

''He's going to make a few calls and get me some protection. It will help for a while, but at some point something has to give.'' Her eyes filled with tears again. ''I'm NOT going to live the rest of my life like this.''

''You won't have to. He can't stay loose forever. We'll find him, Lucy.'' Kevin took her hand. ''I'm not going to let him hurt you again.''

Nodding, she looked at Mary. ''Dr. Newman wants me to go on bed rest. I knew this was probably coming, but not this soon. But she's threatening to keep me here because she doesn't want me alone.''

''You don't have to be alone. Victor and I will be there, Luke, and Kevin. We'll all make sure you're not alone. WON'T WE, gentlemen?'' The tone of Mary's voice told both men that it was not a question. ''I'm going to find Dr. Newman and find out exactly what she has in mind, and how we can work this out so you can go home. Okay?''

Crying, Lucy nodded.

''Don't. You need to stay calm, remember?'' Kevin reached to touch her face, and was actually hurt when she pulled her face away and took his hand.

Victor watched the two of them with interest. Kevin was walking a fine line, and suddenly Victor was sure the line was blurring.

Kevin looked at his watch. Eve should be outside waiting for him. ''I'll be right back.''

His eyes avoided Lucy's, and she knew what he was doing. ''You don't have to stay. I know you're worried about Eve.''

''I don't want to leave. I'm worried about you, too. You need to stay calm, and get some rest. And until whatever you and Luke came up with comes through, I'm not leaving.'' He knew she was pushing him away. It hurt, but he understood.

Eve was pacing out in the hallway. Going to him, she kissed him. ''Ready?''

''I have to wait for Luke to get whatever he has in mind together. He's determined to keep Ryan away from her, and I'm glad. But I can't leave her alone.''

''Kevin, she's not alone. You told me she's all right. So what's the problem?''

His answer was to sigh and look at the door. It was all Eve needed. ''Guess what? I don't want to drag you away from this. From her. Do you have a problem if I go to Chris's tonight?''

''Have you already talked to him?'' Kevin stared at her.

''Yes. I knew you wouldn't leave her. Even though I understand, don't expect me to like it.'' Shrugging, she turned and walked away without even saying goodbye.


	8. Part 8

"Okay, Lucy. You ready?" Mary's voice was upbeat and cheerful, considering she'd been up all night making arrangements and constantly checking on Lucy while she slept.

"I can't believe you did all this for me." Lucy stared at her. "I mean you hardly know me."

"I know Victor loves you very much. I know you're going to have his grandchildren, and, quite frankly, I'm perfectly happy to have what my sons would call 'another victim'." She laughed. "They tend to get cranky when I try to mother them."

Lucy shrugged. "It takes some getting used to, but I kind of like it."

Mary stared at her for a moment, then sat next to her. "Do you mean to tell me that when you were a kid, and you were sick, or hurt, that your mother didn't take care of you?"

Staring at Mary for a moment, Lucy finally bit her lip and shrugged again. "My mother took off when I was a baby."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I had no idea." Mary felt terrible, and it showed on her face.

"Don't. You had no way to know. Besides, she left me with my aunt. Charlene was good to me. At least she tried. I've never been the easiest person to love."

"Oh, nonsense. I haven't known you that long, and I already love you. Like I said, Victor absolutely adores you. I could tell how much Luke cares about you. And," Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "I know, for a fact, that Kevin still cares a lot about you."

It was the wrong thing to say to her. Tears came to her eyes, and she nodded. "He cares."

It hit Mary like a slap across the face. "Oh, Lucy. You really love him, don't you." It wasn't a question.

"I always have. But I blew it." Wiping her eyes, Lucy took a deep breath. "I know it. He loved me. And I hurt him. So now, he's going to raise my babies, and Eve will probably be their stepmother, and I have to deal with it, because it's the best thing for them." She put her hands over the babies growing inside her. "So I have to deal with it."

She didn't fool Mary for a moment. Gently, Mary reached out to her, and pulled her into an embrace.

"I don't know why I keep doing this, Mary. I can't seem to stop crying every time I even think about him. It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid. Right now, your hormones are going crazy, and anything could hurt your feelings. Much less the fact that you're very much in love with a man that doesn't feel the same way. That hurts, and it would make any woman cry, let alone one who is very pregnant. Not to mention what you've been through. So don't feel stupid for how you feel. There's nothing wrong with it." Smiling, Mary pulled away from her and pushed her hair off her face. "Now, let's not think about Kevin. Let's concentrate on you. Dr. Newman has said it's okay to take you home, Victor is already there, and everything should be done by the time we get there. Okay?"

Lucy smiled and nodded.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Are you sure everything's ready?" Kevin asked Victor for the tenth time.

"I'm sure. The refrigerator is full, all her prescriptions are filled, and Mary's bringing her. She's fine, Monk. The doctor said so. We just need to keep her calm, and make sure she's safe." Victor stared at him. "In order to keep her calm, we need to stay calm."

"I know. That's why I've gone along with Luke's plan. Because I think his friends will make sure she's safe. I know Lucy has faith in him."

The way he said it almost made Victor smile. With each day, Victor was becoming more certain that Kevin's feelings for Lucy were getting more confusing for him.

Any reply Victor was going to make was interrupted by Kevin's cell ringing.

"Hello?" Kevin smiled. "I know, I'm on my way. Bye." Hanging up, Kevin looked at Victor. "I have to go. I promised Eve I'd have lunch with her before she went on duty. I'll be back later, and if she needs anything, call me."

"Oh, if she needs anything, we'll take care of it. Now go, don't worry about Lucy." Victor hustled him out the door. He knew Kevin would call to check on her. He couldn't help himself.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Victor?!" Mary's voice rang through the house when she opened the door. By the time Lucy had followed her inside and sat on the sofa, Victor and Luke had appeared.

Sitting next to her, Luke smiled. "How you feeling, babe?"

"Tired. I just want to sit here. But I'm dying to know what's going on. Mary wouldn't tell me. She just kept saying that she'd worked everything out with Dr. Newman and I was coming home."

Victor sat across from her and grinned. "It's a great plan, actually. And we didn't even need a yarn chart. The only thing that Dr. Newman was worried about was that you wouldn't stay down and calm. So, we decided to take turns. The object was to make sure you weren't left alone long enough to get in trouble."

"My first suggestion was to tie you down, but that would just excite you." Luke shrugged. "You know, leave you a bowl of water and food, I saw some of those fur lined handcuffs, and I immediately thought of you. It would-"

"I get the picture. Gee, thanks." She slapped his arm. "Nice to know you'd go to such.... strange lengths to help me." She looked around the room for a moment.

Victor, Mary, and Luke looked at each other. They all knew she was wondering where Kevin was, and that she didn't want to ask.

Standing, Luke patted her head. "You, calm down and stay put. I have several things I actually have to do that have nothing to do with you. Victor will show you how to use the security system we put in, and there are a couple of friends outside, just to be sure. They were courtesy of Sonny, by the way. You might want to give him a call. He wants to know how you are. I'll give you a call later, see if you need anything." With a quick goodbye to Victor and Mary, he was gone.

Before anyone could say a word, the phone rang and Lucy answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi. Just wanted to know how you are."

The sound of Kevin's voice made Lucy smile. "Better. Victor and Mary have thought of everything. Including a huge stack of catalogs with lots of things for me to buy. What are you up to?"

"At the moment, I'm having lunch with Eve."

A small stab went through Lucy, but she wouldn't let anyone see it. "Good. If we're going to make this work, you need to make sure she knows you love her."

Victor and Mary looked at each other. Kevin didn't see it, but they did. Her feelings for Kevin were taking their toll on her.

"I'll call you later, and I'll try to get by. I'm glad you're home. Call me if you need anything."

"I'm fine. Bye." She hung up, and took a deep breath. "I would love something to drink, do you mind?"

"Not at all." Victor headed for the kitchen.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Ryan hung up the phone and smiled. He'd seen Kevin and Eve leave the lighthouse together, and knew the last thing on Kevin's mind at the time was Lucy. The only thing he had to do was continue to remind Lucy of that fact.

He still wondered if there was something more going on than what he'd seen. Why had Kevin run to Lucy's rescue, only to turn around and run back to Eve, leaving Lucy to raise his children? Ryan was sure there was another piece to this. Lucy had barely lasted two days with him while she thought he was still with Eve. Demanding that he throw Eve out of the lighthouse. This had been going on for months, and Lucy still seemed okay with the little bit of attention she'd managed to get out of his brother. As did Eve.

It wasn't exactly working for Kevin. Eve had been downright furious with him on more than one occasion while Ryan had been watching. Apparently she didn't share as well as Lucy did. But Eve was still in the lighthouse, Lucy was still living alone, and Kevin went back and forth at will.

The only thing Ryan was sure of was that he had to find out what was going on behind this arrangement Kevin had with the two of them. Something just wasn't right.

Finally Kevin and Eve returned to the lighthouse, and went inside. Ryan wished he could hear what was going on between them. They weren't exactly smiling, but they weren't fighting, either. Strained was the word that popped into Ryan's mind. He knew he had to get to Eve or Lucy to find out. And with the amount of security that Lucy had around her, Eve was going to be his best bet. He decided to watch the two of them until he had his chance to have a talk with her.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

The phone rang, and Lucy picked it up.

"Hi! How are you?"

"Still fine." Lucy wondered what was really going on in Kevin's mind.

"I'm on my way over. Do you need anything?"

Lucy sighed. "No. Victor and Mary are still here, and I've pretty much got everything I need. You're welcome to come over, if you want, but I'm fine. How was lunch?"

Kevin hesitated for a moment. Victor must have told her. "Fine. I told Victor I'd come by later to see how you were."

"Well, like I told you before, I'm fine. I go back to the doctor in two days, and if she says it's okay, I go back to Lamaze until they're born."

She was shutting him out again. This time he was going to tell her what was on his mind. "I'll be over in a little while." Hanging up the phone, he turned to Eve. "I'm going to Lucy's for a while."

"I knew that." Eve sighed. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I knew you wanted to go check on her. But I've also told you a few times to not expect me to be happy about it. I'm leaving for the hospital in an hour. So I guess I'll see you later." Without another word, she went upstairs and shut the bedroom door.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Mary let Kevin in and made it a point to tell both of them that she was going to help Victor in the kitchen.

Sitting in the chair, Kevin stared at her. "You look tired."

"I am. I feel like I could sleep for a week." She finally met his gaze. "You don't look so wide awake yourself."

"I could probably use some sleep. But I'm worried about you."

"Kevin," Lucy sighed. "I've told you I'm fine. I was scared. But everything's fine right now. Mary and Victor are going to spend the night here, Luke's coming back in the morning, Sonny loaned me a couple of his guys-"

"I met them. Big. Not too patient waiting for I.D., and, I'm assuming, big guns."

Smiling, Lucy nodded. "That's them. Sorry about that. I'm afraid manners and civil rights aren't very high on their priorities."

"But keeping you safe is, and that's all that matters." His eyes met hers. "I'm glad they're here."

The silence that followed was uncomfortable.

"So, how is Eve with all this? Is she better now?"

"Yes. I'm not going to say she's thrilled, but she understands." He leaned towards her. "We're going to make this work, Lucy. We have to."

"I know. I think we can."

Lucy looked like she was about to say something else, but Victor came into the room, carrying a tray. "Lucy, you need to eat. Part of the deal with Dr. Newman was that we made sure you ate. So here you go." He sat on the sofa and put the tray between them. Mary had loaded the tray with fruit.

Lucy smiled at Victor. "Thanks. I am hungry."

"You need to say something. Don't wait for us to read your mind." Victor spoke to Lucy, but his eyes met Kevin's.

"Lucy, look," Kevin stared at the ground for a moment. "I want to be part of this. I can't shake the feeling you're shutting me out. I wish you wouldn't. I don't know what you want me to do."

Fighting tears, Lucy shook her head. "Neither do I, Kevin. I'm trying to not make you feel like every move you make is wrong. I mean, when you called me today, I felt like it was to tell me that you were at lunch with Eve. I know that wasn't it, but it was how I felt. You have your life, Kevin. I need to have mine. We need to work out something for the babies, but it's about them, not you and me."

"I called you to TELL you I was with Eve?" Kevin was confused.

"I know, you didn't mean it that way. I just took it that way. I'm just more emotional than normal. Which should be enough to send everyone running for cover." She smiled. "I know it. I really do. I'm overreacting, getting hysterical, and basically not knowing what's going on in my own mind right now."

After thinking for a moment, Kevin stood. "I need a drink myself." As he walked behind Lucy, his eyes met Victor's and Victor knew something was wrong.

"What do you want to drink, Lucy?"

"Tea would be great, thanks." She started to eat the fruit on the tray.

Victor followed Kevin in the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

"I called Lucy this afternoon, but I didn't mention lunch. I called her from the lighthouse."

Silent, Victor stared at Kevin. "I was here. You called, asked her if she was okay, told her you were having lunch with Eve, and that you would call her again later. Then you called her a second time before you came....." Realization showed on Victor's face. "You didn't call her, did you."

"No." Their eyes met, and they both came to the same conclusion.

"Oh, good heavens. What do we do?"

Kevin turned away, and found Mary staring at both of them. "The one thing we DON'T do is tell her. She's under enough stress. I'll get caller ID for her phone." He shook his head. "But that won't help. If she knows he's calling her..... I need to find him, Victor. Ryan needs to be found and put away."

"Why would he be calling her?" Mary finally spoke. "It doesn't make sense. I mean, he's already done everything he set out to do to her. Unless he suspects something."

Both men stared at her.

"I know you both are thinking it. Somebody had to say it. Ryan probably suspects Kevin isn't the father of those babies."

Her words hung in the air, but neither man answered her. They knew she was probably right.

"I'm going back out to her. You two figure out what to do. The last thing either of us want is for her to suspect something's going on." Tossing the towel she'd been wiping the counter with on the sink, she left the kitchen.

After she was gone, Kevin looked at Victor. "I have no idea what to do. I keep hoping he'll make contact with me. I don't know why he's waited this long."

"My guess is that he knows that contacting her, not you, will hurt you more. What really doesn't make sense is the subtlety. From everything I've been told about him, this is not his usual style."

Turning to the window, Kevin stared out into the yard. "There's never been children that could be his involved. I'm beginning to wonder if he's waiting for her to have them to make his move. He knows he can't take her while she's pregnant. She'd never cooperate, and it would be too risky. If he wants the twins, it's not because he wants to hurt them, at least that wasn't the case with Georgie." Shaking his head, he looked at Victor. "I think he's keeping tabs on her. Waiting for the babies to be born. That's when he'll make his move. I'm sure of it. We need to find him before she gives birth. And, given her medical history, that could be almost any time now. A few more weeks, and Dr. Newman will let her deliver the next time she has a contraction."

Victor recognized the deadly calm look on Kevin's face. "How do we go about it?"

"Victor, this is between Ryan and me."

"I'm part of this, too. I know that. I'm not going to let him destroy you or hurt Lucy or those babies."

Knowing it was pointless to argue, Kevin shook his head. "It doesn't matter. We can't do anything until HE decides it's time for the games to begin."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

What Kevin didn't know was that Ryan had already begun the final game. From a safe distance, he followed Eve to the hospital, and waited for her to go on her break. Hearing her announce she was going to the cafeteria, he ran down two floors of stairs and hit the down button.

When the doors opened, Ryan smiled at her and got on the elevator.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to spend the evening at Lucy's."

The way she said it told Ryan she didn't like it.

"I figured you and I needed to talk more than Lucy needed me to hover over her. She has a house full of people. Victor and Mary are there."

Smiling, Eve stepped closer to him. "I've told you I understand this, but, Kevin, it still bothers me. Ever since the first time she was admitted, people have been staring at me like I'm crazy. Everyone knows about you, Lucy, and the babies, and me. It's gotten to the point that I'm really starting to hate even coming here. The gossip is awful."

Taking her hand, Ryan nodded. "I know. Everyone wonders why you'd forgive me." It took everything in him to sound casual. "Why did you? I don't deserve it." He tried his best ashamed look, and was rewarded by Eve sighing and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Because I understand. I don't want anything to happen to the twins. I really don't. And you're right, gossip just annoys me, it doesn't physically hurt me." Leaning away from him, she shrugged. "I just have to keep reminding myself what's at stake here. You have no idea how hard it is to not tell everyone that you're not the cheating lover, and I'm not the total idiot they think we are. I just wish we could tell everyone the truth."

"You can't. You know what would happen." Ryan hoped Eve would at least tell him the truth, but he couldn't let on to her that he had no idea what she was talking about.

"I know. Believe me, I know what would happen if Ryan found out about the twins. I would never do that to Lucy. Or you. Or the babies. You have to be their father. I know that, Kevin. I just wish.... I don't know what I wish. I'm not blaming you. Or even Lucy, for that matter. It's Ryan's fault. I know that."

Ryan could barely breathe. Lucy was pregnant with twins. His twins. Kevin wasn't the father. Kevin was taking his babies, and making sure he never even knew. His head started to pound, and he knew he had to get away from Eve quickly, or Eve would figure out what was going on.

"Eve, I didn't come here to upset you. I came here to try to make you feel better. I know this is the last thing you need at work. Look, I'll see you when you get home, okay?"

"You mean you're actually coming home tonight?"

"Yes. I'm coming home. I'll see you there." The elevator doors opened, and Ryan got out. He couldn't get out of the hospital fast enough to suit him. A total rage took over, and he sat in the car for almost half an hour, screaming. His babies! Lucy was going to have his children, and she was going to give them to Kevin. Not if he took them first. A smile crept over his face, and he started the car.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Kevin and Victor went back into the living room to find Mary moving the tray away from Lucy.

"She's exhausted."

Lucy had fallen asleep sitting up on the sofa.

"She's got too much going on. It's not good for her." Sitting next to her, Kevin spoke quietly. "I can't seem to do anything right. No matter what I do, I manage to hurt her feelings, or upset her, or make her angry."

Leaning down behind him, Victor spoke in his ear. "Have you tried telling her exactly how you feel? What's going on in your mind?"

"I was going to, until she told me about the phone call."

Lucy shifted in her sleep, and both men watched her for a moment, to make sure she was still asleep.

"Monk, are you sure about what's going on in your mind?" The way Kevin was staring at her convinced Victor he really wasn't.

Kevin turned to glance at Victor. "The only thing I can think about right now is keeping her safe. Ryan's done enough to her."

A knock on the door startled both men, and woke Lucy. Victor opened the door to find Scott and Serena standing outside.

"I know she just got home, but Serena's been making me crazy wanting to see her. Is she up to it?"

"Of course I am!" Lucy yelled at him. "Get over here, you!"

Running to her, Serena jumped on the sofa and hugged her. "Are you okay? Daddy said you were sick."

"I'm fine. I'm fine, the babies are fine, and now that you're here, everything's just perfect." Lucy held Serena to her.

Scott and Kevin stared at each other, both men showing the tension.

"How are you feeling?" Staring at her, Scott stood a few feet from her.

"I feel great. Thanks for bringing her over. This is exactly what I needed." She smiled at him.

When Lucy turned to talk to Serena, Scott looked at Victor and nodded toward the kitchen. Kevin followed both men and Scott turned to them, glaring briefly at Kevin. "So, any news of your wacko brother?"

"He... he called her. She doesn't know. She thinks it was me." Kevin spoke quietly.

"Great. So, what are you going to do about it?"

Victor sighed. "There isn't a whole lot we can do. We have no idea where he's hiding, or what he's planning."

"He's planning to torment her! Can't you see that Victor?" Scott's voice rose.

"SSSHHHHH! The last thing we want right now is for her to get any idea about this. I know subtlety isn't your strong suit, Scott, but with her, right now, you need to keep your voice down." Kevin glared at him.

"Well, all the two of you seem to be doing is waiting around to see what he's gonna do to her next."

"If you have anything constructive to offer, now's the time." Kevin's voice was low, but his anger was clear.

"Why is he hanging around? What's on his mind? Unless...." Scott stopped and stared at both men. The looks they gave him said it all.

"So now what? He's after them, right?"

Kevin nodded. "That's what we think. The trouble is, we have no idea what he's going to do." Turning from Scott, Kevin stared out the window. "I wish I knew what he was thinking. I really do. The point is, she's in danger, and we have to make sure she doesn't find out how bad it is. Can we at least agree on that?"

Scott and Victor nodded.

"Good. Now, before she realizes she's the topic of conversation....." Kevin headed toward the door.

When the three men reentered the living room, Mary and Serena were sitting on either side of Lucy. Serena had her hand on Lucy's tummy and her eyes were wide. "Wow! That's so cool! Did I kick you like that?"

"You sure did. You know, I used to bet your dad that you were going to be a soccer player, you kicked me so hard."

"Did I hurt you?" Serena was still in awe of the movement going on in Lucy's body.

Smiling, Lucy shook her head. "Nope. Not a bit. You were just letting me know you were in there. And you were healthy."

Lucy inhaled sharply, and Serena pulled her hand away.

"That was a big one."

Taking a deep breath, Lucy nodded. "Yep. It sure was."

Victor watched both men watch Lucy. It was painfully obvious how much Scott still loved Lucy, and Victor was positive the look on Kevin's face was not that of a man in love with another woman. This whole situation was hurting all of them, and Victor hoped they could resolve it before the children were born.

Turning, Lucy saw the three of them looking at her. Smiling, she motioned for Victor to come to her. "This is so incredible."

Scott headed for the door. "I have a few things I have to do. Is she okay here for a couple hours?"

Gripping Serena's hand, Lucy looked at him. "How about the whole night? Please?"

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Yes. I'm sure. I want her to stay with me."

The looks on Serena's and Lucy's faces were almost identical. A sharp pain went through Scott, and he knew he had to get out of there. "Fine. I'll pick you up in the morning. Come give me a kiss."

Serena ran over to Scott, and Victor took her place next to Lucy. "Are they still moving?"

Nodding, Lucy took his hand, moving it around her abdomen until she found it. "Wait, you'll feel it. I-"

Victor felt the baby kick. "Oh, Lucy!" Grinning, Victor looked at her. "That's so wonderful!"

Kevin, once again feeling very left out, watched his father, Mary, and Lucy on the sofa together. It was like he was watching a very close family that he wasn't a part of.

After Scott was gone, Serena ran back to them, jumping in Victor's lap, and completing the picture.

Glancing in his direction, Kevin's expression puzzled Lucy. He looked almost hurt. "Hey, Doc." Her voice was soft. "Come here."

When he approached her, Victor took Serena's hand and stood. "Let's go see what kinds of goodies we can find in the kitchen."

Mary, catching Victor's obvious hint, followed. Leaving Kevin and Lucy sitting together on the sofa.

Lucy took Kevin's hand, as she had Victor's, and she placed it where she'd last felt one of them kick. After a few moments, Kevin's face took on a look of absolute amazement when he felt the tiny movement.

Smiling, Kevin looked at her. "That's....." He was at a loss for words, and it amused Lucy.

There was another movement, sharper this time. Pulling his hand up a little, he shook his head. "That doesn't hurt?"

"No." Their eyes met, and they both stared at each other for a few seconds. Finally, Lucy looked away. "It actually feels wonderful." She stared at the ground, trying to keep her feelings hidden from him.

Suddenly, Kevin felt like he should take his hand off her, but he couldn't. It felt so right, feeling the babies kick inside her. His heart started to pound in his chest, and he couldn't pinpoint what was going on in his head. The urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her overwhelmed him. Shaking his head, he forced himself to pull away from her and stood.

"What's wrong?" Lucy stared at him, but not in his eyes.

"Nothing. I just.... It's so amazing." His mind was racing, and he suddenly realized he couldn't tell her what was on his mind. More because he wasn't entirely sure himself. Knowing he had to get out of there, he walked towards the door. "I need to get home. Victor and Mary are going to spend the night with you, and Luke is coming over in the morning. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. You okay?"

Not looking at him, Lucy nodded. "I'm fine."

After he was gone, Lucy pulled a pillow up into her arms and held it to her, trying to keep from crying. The feel of his hand on her had reminded her how good it felt, and how much she wanted him to hold her. The thought that he was on his way home to hold Eve tore her heart out.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Kevin drove home, the entire time, thinking about Lucy. Why was he feeling this way? He loved Eve. But if that was true, why was it that being with Lucy made his heart pound? The effect she had on him confused him.

When he reached the lighthouse, he knew Eve wouldn't be home, yet. Glad that he had a while to be alone and think made him feel better. He needed to get what was going through his mind straight before he dealt with either woman.

As he opened the door, he was surprised to be hit from behind. Someone shoved him into the lighthouse and shut the door behind them.

"I want some answers, Kevin. And I want them now."

Turning, Kevin was shocked to find Ryan standing by the door.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Victor and Mary sat on the sofa, watching TV. Lucy and Serena had been asleep for a while, and they were enjoying a little peace and quiet. Lucy really hadn't been up to Serena, and Victor and Mary had played with her after Lucy had fallen asleep. Not that they minded, but they were both exhausted.

"Kevin sure left in a hurry."

Victor smiled. "You might say he ran out of here a little too quickly."

"What do you mean? I know that look, Victor, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that Kevin's not so sure how he feels anymore."

Shaking her head, Mary stared at him. "Well, you'd better not say anything to Lucy. She's very sure how she feels."

"I know. And I also know that my son, whether he wants to admit it or not, still loves her. He's just so stubborn! Haven't you noticed that every time things get intense between him and Lucy, he practically trips over his own feet getting away from her?"

"But that doesn't exactly help Lucy. He gets close, he pulls away. Then he accuses her of shutting him out. Personally, I know he's your son, but what he's doing to that woman isn't fair. She wants him to be a big part of this. But he tells her he can't be, then gets angry at her for not including him."

"Exactly!" Victor nodded. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. I don't think he knows what he wants. He cares for Eve, he thinks he loves her. But then he sees Lucy, and he feels all those things he thought he was past where she was concerned. I can see it all over his face. As badly as he wants to be a part of this, I think Lucy actually scares him." He told Mary about the look on Kevin's face when he'd watched them on the sofa. "I know my son. And right now, he's confused. And he doesn't like it."

"You seem highly amused by it."

"In a way I am. I don't like the way it's affecting Lucy, but I have to admit it's almost fun to watch him squirm. He likes to be in control, and when he's anywhere near Lucy, control is not the word I'd use to describe his situation." Victor laughed. "The effect she has on him does amuse me. She gets to him, she's under his skin, and he can't do anything about it. No matter how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Okay, Ryan. What do you want me to answer?"

"Don't play shrink with me, Kev. I've had more than my full share. You tried to make sure of that, remember? I want to know who the hell you think you are, taking my children away from me!"

"Your children?" This was the moment Kevin had known was coming, and he hoped he was ready for it. "Lucy's children are not yours."

"I'm supposed to believe you, what? Knocked her up?" Ryan laughed. "Oh, yeah. A hot, steamy, one night stand. Then you ran back to Evie, and suddenly Lucy shows up at you door pregnant? Do I look that stupid to you?"

Kevin knew the correct answer was not 'yes'. "Maybe I did. Maybe after what you did to her, I tried to help her. I ended up making love to her, and she got pregnant."

"Okay, I can buy that." Ryan smiled. "It's not exactly hard to believe you could end up in bed with her. I mean, she really does love you, and she is a very hot number. Man would have to be an ice cube to turn that down." Ryan's smile faded and his eyes took on a deadly glare. "But even if you did, then, at best, there is a question as to which of us gets the Father's Day card." Finally, Ryan shook his head. "But, I don't believe you did. See, I know Lucy. A whole lot better than I did. She wouldn't let you anywhere near her twins if you'd slept with her, then broke down her door to get back to Evie. I saw what she thought of sharing. No." He leaned against the wall next to the door. "You thought the only way to keep me away from MY children was to take them yourself."

"They are not your children." Kevin tried to sound convincing. "Lucy and I did make love, and she did get pregnant. By me. I am their father."

"I'm not really believing you. You need to sound a little more convincing. Better yet, why don't you take lessons from Evie in being believable."

"Eve? What does she have to do with this?" Kevin's fear made Ryan smile.

"Relax, Kevin. I haven't done nearly as much with Eve as I have with Lucy. I just talked to her. Of course, she thinks you went to the hospital to make up with her. But she told me that she knows how important it is that 'the bad twin' never finds out about his children. MY CHILDREN, KEVIN!" Ryan screamed at him. "Those babies are mine, and you are NOT going to take them away from me."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you still trying to hurt her? Haven't you done enough to Lucy?" Kevin wanted to find out what he had in mind.

"What makes you think I want to hurt her? As I remember, you're the one that hurt her. I was the one that gave her the ring back, remember? You're the one that ripped her heart out and threw your new little toy down her throat." Ryan smiled again. "Still so protective of her. Running to her rescue, claiming her children to protect them, and look at you now. Almost territorial. Makes me wonder if you really love Eve as much as you claim to. Or if it just bothers you that much that I HAD your woman."

"You lied to her, used her, manipulated her, and now you're trying to kill her children."

"What?! Who in the hell do you think you are? Okay, so I told her a few big ones to get her in the sack. What man hasn't from time to time? I know for a fact that I'm NOT the first man to lie to her to get her clothes off." His eyes met Kevin's, and his voice grew quiet. "But I would never hurt my own children."

"What do you think is going to happen if you keep tormenting her? You say you know all about her. She's had three miscarriages, Ryan did you know that? You are the reason her pregnancy has already been compromised! She's already almost lost them."

Ryan looked uncertain.

"You know she's been admitted to GH twice. Why do you think that is? Because you've been calling her, going to her house," As he spoke, Kevin stepped closer to Ryan. "Keeping her upset and terrified. And stress can bring on a miscarriage. It almost has, and YOU'RE the one causing it! You've done enough to her! I would like to see you suffer for what you've done. But, I swear, Ryan, she loses those babies, and I'll kill you myself!" His whole body was shaking from the building anger in him.

Kevin's rage actually surprised Ryan. "That was good. Didn't know you had it in you. Feels pretty good, doesn't it. All that anger. The intense desire to rip my throat out." He smiled. "And all over Lucy. I bet she doesn't know you feel that way, huh. Maybe I'll call her and tell her."

"You stay the hell away from her!" Rushing Ryan, he grabbed him and bounced him off the wall. Both of them fell to the ground.

Using his legs against the wall, Ryan pushed himself away from Kevin. "Why's that? Because you... what? Care about her? Or is that because you want her for yourself? That's what she wants, you know. For some reason, after everything you've done to her, she still loves you." Standing, Ryan leaned on the bannister and the bottom of the staircase. "Why are women like that, Kevin? After everything you put her through, I could actually be a break for her. At least I admit I have a few... issues. I don't pretend to be the poster child for mental health." Now Ryan's rage started to take control of him. "Why is it? When she thought I was you, she adored me, she told me how much she loved me."

Kevin stood, waiting for the Ryan to lose control.

Ryan saw it, and his voice got quiet again, while he stared at Kevin. "You know what she's like. That look in her eyes when she looked at me. The hundred times she told me she loved me. The look on her face when I put her ring back on her finger. It was really nice, you know. For a few minutes there, I could actually believe she loved me. The things she did to me....." His eyes grew hard again. "Well, let's just say a lot of men pay big bucks for what she did to me because she loved me. But, see, it wasn't me. Every time I even started to forget, you know, get caught up in the role, I'd try to make it really good for her. It was, I'll tell you that. I know that because she screamed YOUR NAME at the top of her lungs."

Kevin stared at Ryan, stunned by what he was saying.

"You want to know what I want? That's what I want. I want the life I should have had. My children with a woman that loves me like that. Maybe a little quieter. Half the time I wondered how in the hell you walked away from that woman. The other half I wondered how you walked away from her without killing her." Ryan stepped towards Kevin, now almost whispering. "She gave up everything she had for you. I even think she'd give her life for you. And you don't have a clue, do you. You're either a real idiot, or you just don't give a damn. Either way, you don't deserve the way she loves you."

With no warning, Ryan punched Kevin, knocking him to the ground. Standing over him, Ryan whispered. "That's for everything you did to her. The only reason I'm not going to kill you is that it would hurt her. And, if you're telling the truth, hurt MY children. And don't think I'm going to let you have them. One way or another, I'm going to have MY children." And he was gone.

It took Kevin a few moments to get to his feet. By the time he reached the driveway, Ryan was gone. In a panic, he checked his watch. Eve was still on duty. Running back to lock the door, he jumped in his car and dialed Mac while he drove. It was late, so he dialed the home number.

"Hello?"

"Mac! It's Kevin. Ryan's finally making his move."

"Ryan contacted you?"

Nodding to the phone, Kevin was almost shouting. "He went to GH! He tricked Eve into telling him about Lucy."

The other end of the phone was silent, and Kevin heard Felicia in the background, saying. "No! He knows, doesn't he."

"Mac! Lucy doesn't know, yet. I'm afraid to tell her. She's had enough complications-"

"It's not good, either way, mate. Either you tell her, and risk the stress factor, or you don't tell her, and risk him showing up at her door." Mac's voice was quiet. "Look, I'll send a car to GH to keep an eye on Eve, but if he's already talked to her, I don't think he'll go back to her. I'll tell the car that's cruising Lucy's to be ready. What do you think he'll do?"

Stopping in traffic at a light, Kevin put his forehead on the steering wheel. "I don't think he'll do anything to Lucy until the babies are born. Now that he knows they're his, he wants them. But he wants them alive, and he knows she's already almost lost them. But I'm beginning to wonder if the twins are all he wants."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he punched me and told me that it was for Lucy. It's like he has these moments of fantasy about a family. I don't know how to explain it. One minute he..... First he asked me how I walked away from the way she loves me, and then he asked me how I walked away without killing her." The light turned green and Kevin hit the gas, passing the cars in front of him and continuing to speak to Mac. "He was back and forth. First it was how wonderful Lucy is, then how she irritated him. He went on and on about what I'd done to her, and that he'd be a break for her. He actually told me I didn't deserve her."

"Sounds like he's really out of control. That's bad."

"I know." They were both thinking the same thing. About when Ryan had a similar fixation on Felicia.

"I don't get it. Lucy doesn't fit his history. Except that she's close to you."

"I know that, too. Maybe..... I think it was how she treated him when she thought he was me." Kevin's voice got quiet. "Believe me, Lucy can make you feel like you can walk on water. You look in her eyes, and you feel like she's looking at your soul. Everything else in the world disappears, and all you can think about is her. The way she gave herself to me, no question, no hesitation, just opening herself up and giving me everything she had inside. I-" A horn honked, and Kevin realized the car was drifting into the next lane.

Mac listened to Kevin, stunned. The voice speaking to him sounded like the voice of a man that was still in love with Lucy.

"He's never had that. He's never had anyone love him like that." Kevin looked around. "Look, I'm at....." When he realized where he was, he shook his head. He'd intended to go to GH, and call Victor, but he hadn't been paying attention, and now he was sitting at the end of Lucy's street. "I'm at Lucy's. Make sure your guys know I'm here. I'm going to tell Luke's friends what's going on, and then I'm going to talk to Victor and Mary. We need to figure out what to do about Lucy. I'll get back to you."

The phone went dead, and Mac actually smiled. Turning to a curious and worried Felicia, he shook his head. "He still loves her, you know that? I don't think he knows it, but I'm telling you, Kevin Collins has a lot more feelings for Lucy Coe than he'll admit."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Once again, Luke's friends were quick to get to Kevin, but as soon as he showed them his ID, they backed off. After telling them about Ryan, he went to the door. He continued to knock softly on Lucy's door until a bleary-eyed Victor opened it.

"Monk?"

"We need to talk." Brushing past him, Kevin turned on the living room light.

"What happened to your face?"

He'd forgotten all about it. Stepping to the mirror hanging on the wall, he took a look at the bruises Ryan had left on him. "It's not bad. But Ryan's the one that did it."

"Ryan?" Victor tried to keep his voice down. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Victor. But we have to tell her. He knows."

"We thought he did."

"No, we thought he suspected. He told me tonight. He caught Eve at the hospital. She thought he was me, and...."

"And he got it out of her." Victor finished for him. "How is Eve?"

"I need to call her. I was just afraid this would be his next stop. But then, I still don't think he will until after she delivers."

Staring at the stairs, Victor shook his head. "I don't know if we should tell her or not. She's already so upset. We don't want her to panic."

"I know that." He took out his cell and dialed Eve's pager. "I also know she can't be left alone here, waiting for him to make a move."

A noise on the stairs caught both men's attention. Lucy was standing at the bottom of the stairs, tears running down her face.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Eve!" Chris half jogged down the hallway to get to her. "Planet Earth to Eve!" Reaching her, he stepped in front of her. "Hey! Are you here?"

"Yes. Sort of."

"Do I have to guess what's on your mind? Dr. Stalker, perhaps?"

"Don't call him that!"

Chris feigned hurt. "Why not? You did!"

"Well, that was before I knew him." She remembered how embarrassed she'd been when he been standing right behind her. Wincing at the memory, she shrugged. "You don't understand. I mean, like today. We had lunch, it wasn't great, but it was nice. Then he came here to try to talk to me, and I got really-" Her pager vibrated against her hip. "That's me." Checking the number, she went to the phone without a word to Chris.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"Lucy! We didn't hear you."

"Obviously, since you were discussing not telling me that MY children are in danger." Slowly, she approached them. "You're sure Ryan knows the truth? There's no chance he could still-"

"He knows he could be the father. Right now, he's not entirely convinced that I'm not a candidate. And, since requesting a paternity test is out of the question, given the current circumstances...." Kevin stopped.

"He's just going on the assumption that he's the father, right?" The color had drained from her face and she was starting to shake. "I will kill him myself before I let him anywhere near my babies." She stared at both men, and her voice was quiet.

Going to her, Kevin took her arms. "He's not going to get near you. I'm going to do everything I can, and you've got guys out there. Big guys, with no sense of humor. A squad car from the PCPD. He can't get anywhere near you." Gently, he led her to the sofa. Sitting with her, he pulled her into his arms. "I'm the reason he did this to you."

"Kevin, don't. You're not responsible for every evil move Ryan makes." She took a deep breath. "Or every stupid one I make." Before he could interrupt her, she shook her head. "It's done. What we need to do right now, is deal with it. Ryan's out there, and now he wants them." Still crying, she put her hands over the babies.

Putting his hands over hers, Kevin squeezed them gently. "He's not going to get them." His eyes met hers, and he became aware that her face was only a few inches from his. Just as the thought of kissing her began to overwhelm him, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"You beeped?" Eve's voice was cheerful.

"I take it you haven't seen Mac's men, yet?"

"No. I mean, other than the one that's been periodically checking on me since this whole thing started. I.... Kevin, what's happened."

"I need you to not panic. But I need you to tell me exactly what you said to me this afternoon at the hospital."

"What do you mean what I said? Kevin you......"

Chris saw the blood drain from Eve's face. "Eve? What's wrong?" Taking her phone, Chris yelled into it. "What the hell did you say to her, Collins?"

"Chris?" Kevin sighed. "It wasn't me at the hospital. It was my brother."

"Your brother? The one that's dead?"

"That's the one. It's a long story, but the most important part is that Eve could be in danger."

"Not as long as I'm around."

"Good. But you need to get a good picture of what you're dealing with, Chris. He's a killer. I don't think we'll ever know how many people he's killed. Don't try to deal with him alone, I'm telling you, Chris. This has nothing to do with you, or what I think of you. This has to do with the fact that Ryan is deadly. PCPD is on the way, and they're going to watch her."

Reaching out to take Eve's hand, Chris shook his head. "If she's in that much danger, where the hell are you?"

"I.... I'm at Lucy's. Tell Eve to explain everything to you. I honestly believe this is where he'll eventually end up, but I don't want to risk Eve's life on a hunch."

"You know what, Collins? You go take care of your girlfriend and your babies. I'll take care of Eve."

The line went dead in Kevin's hand. "Eve's with Chris. And he knows what's going on. Eve will tell him the rest of it."

"How is she?" Lucy's voice was quiet.

"Fine. He didn't do anything to her except get the information he wanted."

Suddenly, Lucy felt uncomfortable this close to him. Pulling away, she stood. "I want to do something, but I'm not sure what. I mean, this sitting around, waiting for him to make his move will drive me crazy, but I know there isn't much else I can do."

Standing, Kevin followed her around the room. "It's not 'I', Lucy. You're not alone in this. I told you I would take care of them, and I will."

Lucy stared at Kevin for a moment, wanting desperately to go to him and have him hold her. But it wasn't real. Pretending it was would only hurt more in the end. Trying to ignore the feelings inside her, she walked to Victor.

As Victor pulled her into his arms, he looked at Kevin over her shoulder. Kevin turned and looked out the window, but not quickly enough. The look on his face almost broke Victor's heart, and he wondered how two people that loved each other so much could get so far apart.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"You're kidding, right? This can't be real." Chris was shaking his head.

"It's real, alright. Kevin never cheated on me. Ryan went after Lucy to get to him."

"So, now that Ryan knows, what happens?"

"He'll probably wait until Lucy delivers, then try to kill her to get them. At least that's what Kevin always thought. That's why he was going to put his name on the birth certificate. Maybe now that Ryan knows, he'll let go of this, and be the uncle."

"You sound like that's more wishful thinking than fact."

Eve sighed. "I don't know, Chris. I mean, I do think this started out to be about Kevin feeling guilty, and about protecting the twins. Now, I don't know what he's going to do."

"You're afraid he's going to want to play Daddy now, regardless of what Ryan does or doesn't know, right?"

The look on Eve's face told Chris everything he needed to know. "Do you think Kevin would leave you for Lucy?"

"I know she wants him to. At first, she didn't even want to see him, but she's had so many complications, he feels like he has to help."

Chris shook his head. "I know you don't want to hear this, but you gotta feel for Lucy. I mean, I know she's done a lot of lousy stuff to you, but what he did to her, man, nobody deserves that. I mean, it's never been a secret that Kevin ended the relationship, and that Lucy still loved him. And for Ryan to use her like that....."

"I know, Chris. I really do. And I'm sorry it happened to her. But that doesn't mean that Kevin wants to go back to her, or that he and I don't love each other."

"But right now, it's Lucy he's protecting." It wasn't that Chris wanted to hurt Eve. He just wanted her to take a good look at what was going on. "And if he still wants to be the Daddy, what will that do to the two of you?"

Tears came to Eve's eyes, and she shrugged. "I'm afraid it will end us, Chris. I'm not prepared to take a back seat to Lucy. I was ready to help Kevin protect the babies, but if Ryan knows the truth, there's no reason anymore. So, if he still intends to go through with this....."

"You'll know exactly where you stand." The hurt flashed across her face, and Chris sighed. "I'm sorry, but someone needs to be the voice of reason, here. You can't pretend to not know there will always be some connection between them. Twins or not. So, now he's tied to her forever, whether he claims to be the father, or just plays Uncle Kevin. You know if they don't have a father, Kevin's going to be the doting uncle. He couldn't walk away from his fatherless nephews or nieces."

"I'm not asking him, to, Chris! Family is very important to him. I would never tell him he can't see them. I just hate the fact that Lucy Coe is part of the deal."

"Then walk."

"What?!"

"Eve, Lucy is part of the deal. You know that. If it's going to be like this for you for the rest of your life, it's time to cut your losses." Chris took her hands and looked into her eyes. "You don't deserve to be with someone with this kind of baggage. The kids are going to come before you or Lucy, and you'll always wonder if Lucy comes before you. So, at best, you spend the rest of your life 3rd or 4th in the food chain for Kevin's affection. And you deserve better."

Eve couldn't answer. She knew Chris was right, and if she were thinking with her head, she would run back to the lighthouse, pack her things, and get out. The problem was that her heart was in charge at the moment. And her heart refused to give up on Kevin.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

Kevin waited at the door for Lucy, resisting the urge to remind her again that they were going to be late for her appointment if she didn't get in the car. Eve had actually gone right to bed the night before to avoid talking to him. Unsure of what he could say to her, he had left the lighthouse almost an hour early to avoid the tension between them. Lucy was taking a shower when he arrived, and he'd spent an hour waiting for her.

Finally, Lucy came downstairs and stared at him. 

''What?''

''I'm waiting.'' She crossed her arms.

''For?''

''For 'come on, Lucy, we're going to be late', or the foot tapping, the glaring at your watch, then back at me.''

Her eyes told him she was kidding, so he played along. Tapping his foot on the ground loudly, he glared at his watch. ''Come on, Lucy, we're going to be late.''

Walking past him out the door, she smiled. ''Made you feel better, huh.''

They were almost halfway to the hospital before Kevin finally broke the silence. ''I know something's going around in your head. You're too quiet. I wish you'd tell me.''

''Other than the obvious, you mean.''

He looked at her.

Sighing, she looked out the window. ''Dr. Newman told me that the sonogram today should be able to tell the sex of the babies.''

''Is that a problem?''

''I don't know. Part of me thinks it would be great to be surprised when they're born, but a bigger part of me knows I'm to impatient to wait.'' She smiled. ''It's not a bad thing, I'm just thinking about it.''

''For what it's worth, I'd like to know.'' For a second, he turned to her and stared into her eyes.

After thinking for a moment, Lucy smiled. ''Then I guess we'll find out today.''

''Only if you're sure-''

''Kevin, that's the first time you've offered any opinion on anything concerning them. You actually told me what you were thinking. And if you feel strongly enough to actually share this information with me, I'm okay with it.'' Laughing, she leaned back and shifted her body.

''You okay?''

''Yeah, it's just the sitting still. I can't.'' Wincing, she moved the seat to a more reclined position. ''My back hurts. And there isn't a comfortable position.''

At his concerned stare, she shook her head. ''It's perfectly normal. I'm fine. They're just moving, and it puts pressure on my spine. We're almost there. I'll be fine.''

He thought about what she'd said. It had been the first time he'd voiced any opinion about the twins. They hadn't even discussed names, really. Lucy had mentioned a few, but he hadn't even told her what he thought of them. He was going to have to take a long look at what he really wanted from her.

When he parked the car, Lucy started to stand up and sighed.

''What?''

''My leg fell asleep. Normal, but a total pain.'' Pulling herself to her feet, she leaned on the door and stomped her foot.

Coming around to her side, he watched her with a grin on his face.

''Stop laughing at me!'' Laughing herself, she grabbed his arm. ''Tingles! Kevin! Stop laughing at me!'' Now she was laughing as hard as he was. ''I will get you for this, Doc.''

She smacked at his arm. When he saw her hand coming, he jumped out of her reach. All he succeeded in doing was almost letting her fall. Catching her, he took her wrists gently. ''What did I do?'' He was still laughing.

''You're having WAY too much fun at my expense!'' Dragging him with her, she limped to the doors.

They were still hanging on to each other when the entered the hospital. The sound of their laughter carried down the hall and people turned to see who was having so much fun. A few of them shook their heads. Eve was not going to like this.

In the elevator, Lucy finally let go of him and grabbed the rail. ''It's better now. At least I can stand on it.'' She was out of breath from laughing so hard while she tried to walk.

Kevin released her arm, but didn't step away from her. The smell of her distracted him. Her perfume, her shampoo, her. The sudden familiarity of it took his breath away.

The look on his face puzzled her. ''What?''

''Nothing.'' Shaking his head, he finally stepped away from her. Mentally, he asked himself why he couldn't think straight when he was close to her.

When they reached Dr. Newman's office, it wasn't long before Lucy was ready for the sonogram.

''So, are you sure you want to know the sex?'' Dr. Newman looked at both of them.

Meeting Kevin's eyes for a moment, Lucy nodded. ''Yes.'' Before she could stop herself, she reached out and took his hand.

Her hand in his felt warm and comfortable. Squeezing it gently, he leaned closer to her and looked at her. When her eyes met his again, his heart felt like it had skipped a beat. Before he could react, they heard the soft sound of the babies heartbeats.

''We're there.'' Dr. Newman's voice made them tear their eyes away from each other and look at the monitor.

''It looks like you're going to have two little girls, Lucy.'' Dr. Newman smiled at them. After a few more minutes she smiled. ''Everything looks perfect. They're starting to turn. That's why you've been so uncomfortable. Let me go get this copied for both of you.'' Taking the tape out of the machine, she left the room.

Tears came to Lucy's eyes, and she looked at Kevin to find that he was just as amazed.

''Little girls, Lucy. We're going to have two little girls.''

His voice was low, and gentle, but the impact they had on Lucy was deeper than if he'd shouted them. With her throat tightening, she could barely talk, so she whispered. ''We?''

When he looked at her, their eyes locked, and their faces were inches apart. ''We are going to have two little girls.'' Before he stopped to think, he leaned to her and kissed her. At first, Lucy reached for him to push him away. But, in the end, her heart won, and she pulled him closer to her, deepening their kiss. His lips on hers sent shivers up her spine, and she clenched her hand in his hair.

Taking her other hand in his, Kevin felt her responding to him, and he took her mouth with his own. The sudden intensity between them shocked them both, and just as Kevin pulled away to look at her, the door opened.

Dr. Newman entered the room, not quite sure what she'd interrupted. Kevin stood beside the bed and stared at the monitor. Lucy's eyes were closed, and she was breathing deeply, as if trying to relax.

Avoiding eye contact, Kevin and Lucy barely heard the rest of what Dr. Newman had to say. As soon as Lucy was ready, they left the office. Both of them felt the tension, and they avoided eye contact. While they waited for the elevator, they heard Eve's voice calling Kevin. Not looking at Lucy, he told her he'd be right back and went to talk to Eve.

When the elevator opened, Lucy stepped inside. With one more look at Kevin's back, she pushed the button to the 5th floor. Mary should be on duty.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

''Hi.'' Kevin stood a few feet from Eve, suddenly feeling guilty.

''Haven't seen you since last night. I guess I should have known you were busy.''

''Eve.'' Sighing, Kevin reached for her hand. ''Lucy had an early appointment this morning.''

''I know. And do you want to know how I know? Because the first thing I heard after my coffee was that the two of you came in here holding hands and laughing.'' Eve watched his reaction. She'd hoped the gossip had been exaggerated. But the way Kevin's eyes avoided hers, she knew it was the truth. ''I'm busy right now, so we'll have to talk about this later.''

He nodded. ''Let me take her home. I'll come back and we can go to lunch?''

''I probably won't have that much time. How about tonight?''

''Okay. Dinner?''

Eve was torn between telling him she had plans and telling him how much she loved him. So she simply nodded.

Without getting any closer to her, Kevin turned and walked to the elevator. Riding down, he kept thinking about the way he'd felt when he'd kissed Lucy. The way her hand felt in his. The way her eyes had stared into his. When he reached the lobby, he found himself almost afraid to face her. If he saw her, he wasn't sure he could convince himself that it had only been a moment of intense emotion, and nothing more.

When he reached the lobby, he searched for her. Not seeing her, he went to the car, thinking she had gone outside to wait for him.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

''I don't understand him. I feel like he's trying to confuse me. I mean, I know he's not, but that's how it feels. He tells me how much he loves Eve, then he kisses me like that? He's been telling me he wants to be the father. Then when I take him away from Eve, she's upset, so he takes it out on me. But if I don't take him away from her, and leave him to his own life, he's angry because he's left out and he takes it out on me. I feel like no matter what goes wrong, it's my fault. And I resent that he can make me feel that way. I hate the fact that he can still hurt me like that. If he doesn't love me, fine. I'll deal with it. But if he's going to keep doing this to me, I can't, you know? Part of me feels like telling him how much I still love him, and that I want to be with him. I want the four of us to be a real family.'' Lucy stared at Mary and wiped her face. ''And the rest of me wants to tell him I don't need his torture and to go to hell.''

Mary waited to be sure she was done. The second she'd seen Lucy, she'd known something was wrong. The last five minutes had been a running dialogue of the entire morning, up until Kevin kissing her after the sonogram. ''Lucy, you're right. You don't deserve this. And to be honest with you, I wish I had the answer. But, honey, I don't.'' Sitting next to her, she took Lucy's hand. ''Whatever is going on in Kevin's head, I'm not convinced he's sure right now. And it's not fair to you. I know you love him, and I think he knows it, too.''

''So what do I do? I want to be with him-''

''But not like this! Not while he's running back and forth between you and Eve.''

Shaking her head, Lucy started to answer.

''I know you don't see it that way. He probably doesn't, either. But are you going to deny that kiss changed everything?''

Tears came to Lucy's eyes again, and she sighed. ''I know it did. I guess I'm just hoping it changed for him as much as it did for me.''

Mary was trying to hide from Lucy how angry she was at Kevin. But it wasn't working. ''Victor's going to be here in about 15 minutes. What say you tell Kevin to take a flying leap, at least for this afternoon, and you have lunch with us?''

Nodding, Lucy started to stand. ''I have to go find him and tell him. If he's managed to tear himself away from Eve, he's probably looking for me.''

''You stay right here. I will tell Kevin that you have plans.''

The tone of Mary's voice scared Lucy. ''What else are you going to tell him?''

''You don't worry about it. I won't get you in trouble.'' She smiled sweetly, but it didn't fool Lucy for a moment.

''Mary,.....''

''Relax, honey. The whole point of this was to relieve your stress level. As soon as Victor gets here, we can leave.'' And she was gone, leaving Lucy to try to decide if she felt sorry for Kevin, or felt he was about to get exactly what he deserved from Mary.

Mary found Kevin back on Dr. Newman's floor, having headed back up after not finding Lucy in the lobby or the parking lot. ''Kevin, just the man I was looking for.''

''Mary, have you seen Lucy?''

''Yes. She's going to lunch with Victor and me. I just wanted to tell you that she has a ride home.'' Mary turned to walk away.

''Where is she?''

''You don't have to worry about her today. Victor and I will take good care of her.''

''I'd like to talk to her.'' Kevin wasn't entirely sure that was true. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to her.

''Kevin, to be honest with you, you've said enough to her today.''

''What do you...she's been talking to you.'' Kevin knew exactly what Mary was talking about. ''Mary, I would really like to talk to her. Where is she?''

''She's fine. And you don't have to worry about her the rest of the day. We'll make sure she eats and we'll take her home. You just go on about whatever you need to do today.''

Beginning to get angry, Kevin glared at Mary. ''I don't appreciate being spoken to like a child.''

It was the wrong thing to say to Mary. ''Well, Kevin, you stop acting like a child, I will stop treating you like one.''

Kevin's eyes flashed. ''Would you care to explain that comment?''

His temper didn't faze Mary in the least. ''Would you care to explain your actions this afternoon?''

''I think that's between Lucy and me. I'm not sure why she told you.''

''No, it's between Lucy, you, and Eve. That's exactly what I mean. You live with Eve, supposedly an adult relationship, then you show up at Lucy's door to play the family man, which is wonderful, I'm not telling you that helping those babies is wrong. But when you decide to stop being a friend to her and start acting like a hormonal teenager, all you do is confuse her and hurt her. You don't seem to know what you're doing to her. My question is, do you care?'' She'd kept her voice low, but Kevin could see how angry she was.

At first, his eyes flashed at her, but, after a moment, he sighed and looked away. ''Mary, I do care what's it's doing to her. I don't mean to hurt her.''

''You're just as confused, aren't you.''

His eyes, no longer angry, met hers and he sighed again.

''Kevin, I know this is a tricky situation, but you need to decide what you want. I don't know Eve that well, but I think she genuinely cares about you. I do know Lucy, and I know she loves you. The question is, what do you want?''

Kevin's first instinct was to tell Mary it was none of her business. Then he remembered how close she'd become to Lucy, and he realized that it was only how much Mary cared about Lucy that was making her attack him. And he couldn't be angry with Mary for caring about her. On more than one level, he deserved it. At least someone was looking out for Lucy. He sighed again. ''To be honest with you, I'm not sure. I thought I was past all this with Lucy. Eve and I have been planning our future together.''

''And then you're with Lucy....'' Mary knew where this was going.

''And I can't.... I can't explain it.''

''Let me take a guess. Your heart pounds, you can't think straight, and all of a sudden you're questioning the reasons you walked away from her?''

''No. I mean, I'm not questioning the reasons I walked away from her. She lied to me, and I can't trust her. I never questioned the fact that I loved her.''

Suddenly, Mary saw how much pain Kevin was in, and she shook her head. ''How did the two of you get here?''

''If I knew that, we probably wouldn't be here.'' Kevin smiled. ''We've both made a lot of mistakes along the way. We've done a lot of damage to each other.''

''Do you blame her for all of it?''

''No. I mean, I did for a long time. But not anymore.''

''Well, it seems to me that if every thing she says could be a lie, and you have to question whether to believe her or not every day, that-''

''It's not like that. I don't question everything she says. I just can't forget the fact that when things get bad, she could lie to me again.''

''Just like she has to remember that if things get bad, you could walk away again?'' Mary stared at him, waiting for his response.

At first he didn't answer her. His first thought was to defend himself, but, once again, he realized where she was coming from. ''Point taken. We're both walking a line, here, and-''

''That's just it, Kevin! There is no line. At least not for Lucy. It's not a line, it's a fence. You have Eve on one side, and Lucy on the other. And you keep jumping back and forth. I see what it's doing to Lucy, and I suspect it's having the same effect on Eve. You need to pick a side, and stay on it.''

Eve had been surprised to see Kevin still there. As she headed towards him, neither Mary nor Kevin saw her approaching.

Mary continued. ''I'm telling you, Kevin, I know I have no right to get in the middle of this, but I call them as I see them. If you want to stay with Eve, fine. Be honest with Lucy, tell her where she stands, and for Heaven's sake, stop kissing her!''

Her voice was low, but Eve was close enough to hear her. ''Kissing her?''

Both of them turned to her. Kevin stepped towards her. ''Eve...''

Shaking her head, Eve stepped back. ''No, Kevin. I don't want to hear it. I can't believe this. Just leave me alone.'' She turned and walked away.

Kevin turned to Mary, who sighed. ''Oh, Kevin, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was there.'' As angry as he obviously was, to her credit, Mary didn't back down. ''I've overstepped my boundaries here, I know it. Lucy has allowed her life to be my business, but that doesn't include your life. And I know that was a horrible way for Eve to hear this. I can't stop-''

''Mary, it's okay. I'm not going to say I'm happy about this. But I do know where you're coming from. You obviously really care about Lucy. And that's good. Lucy has never had many people really care about her. That's a big part of her problem. I know how much you and Victor care about her and what it means to her. It means a lot to me, too.''

''Victor and I care about both of you.''

''I know. I also know that, although Ryan created this whole mess, I've made it a complete disaster.'' He sighed. ''I wish I knew what to do about it. Right now, I have to find Eve and talk to her. I mean, be straight with her. Tell Lucy that I do want to talk to her later.'' With that, he started down the hallway after Eve.

It took Kevin almost 20 minutes to find Eve. She and Chris were in the On Call Room, sitting at the table. The moment Kevin saw her, he knew she'd been crying. 

Chris stood, staring at Kevin.

''I need to talk to Eve.''

''You going to give her some excuse for kissing Lucy?'' Stepping in front of Eve, Chris glared at him.

''Why is it that everyone talks to everyone else about me, but no one talks TO me? Why is that, Eve? Why is Chris discussing our relationship?''

Nudging Chris out of the way, Eve stood. ''Maybe I'm tired of talking to you, Kevin. Maybe I'm tired of you telling me that I mean so much to you, then watching you act like a jealous lover every time Lucy's plans DON'T include you.'' Crossing the room, she stopped in front of him. ''You know, I thought Lucy would be a whiny, controlling, bitch through all this. I thought she would be picking up the phone every five minutes, begging you to come help her. She hasn't. It looked like she'd really gotten over you. You said that was what you wanted. So what happens? She doesn't pay enough attention to you, and you can't deal with it? I don't get it, Kevin. Why don't you explain it to me! Did she blow you off completely? Did she tell you now that Ryan knows she doesn't need you to be a Daddy? Is that why you kissed her? Are you willing to throw away what we have to come out on top of Ryan where she's concerned?''

''Ryan has nothing to do with this!'' Kevin finally, for the first time, really shouted at Eve. ''You don't know anything about me and Ryan. I've told you some, but you can't have any idea what really happened between us.''

''But Lucy does, right? I've heard so many times how she was there for you, how she pulled you through it. How she helped you deal with Ryan, and your mother, and-''

''Don't cross that line, Eve.'' Realization showed on his face. ''How much of that does Chris know? How many of the things I told you because I trusted you and loved you have you shared with Chris?'' Shaking his head, Kevin began to pace. ''I don't know what's worse, you know? Lucy lied to me, but she never said a word to anyone about anything I ever told her in confidence. You've always told me the truth, but you've also told everyone the truth about me.''

''That's not fair, Kevin. I haven't told Chris everything! I'm just tired of hearing how St. Lucy stood by you and saved you when everyone else deserted you! And how you owe her now, not just because of what she did for you, but now you owe her the rest of your life because of Ryan. At first it made sense, but now it looks to me like it was an excuse! An excuse to get close to her again. Ryan knows, Kevin. I didn't mean to be the one to tell him, and I'm sorry. But he knows! It's over. But it's not. Not where you're concerned. You have to win. You have to have the babies, and now maybe even Lucy. Is it worth it to you to lose me to beat Ryan?''

''THIS IS NOT ABOUT BEATING RYAN!''

Eve actually backed away from him. She'd never seen him this angry, and he was beginning to scare her.

''That's enough, Collins!'' Chris pulled Eve away from him. ''Whatever mess you've decided to make of your life, it's not Eve's fault!''

Seeing that he was really scaring Eve, Kevin took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. ''This is none of your business, Chris. This is something Eve and I need to work out.''

Shaking her head, Eve took Chris's hand and looked at Kevin. ''I don't think we can work this out, Kevin.'' She tried to fight it, but she began to cry. ''I can't spend my life wondering where I stand with you. I love you, but not enough to share you with Lucy.''

He started to speak, but she shook her head. ''Whatever it is you feel for her, it's every bit as strong as what you feel for me. And I can't live with it.''

Kevin stared at her and realized what she was saying. ''You're leaving me?''

''I'm going to the lighthouse when my shift is over, and I'll get my things. Kevin, if it was just about us, I think it would work out. But it's not. It's about two babies that need you, and the fact that you can't let go of their mother.''

''Eve...'' Kevin was still trying to process what she was saying.

''Look, even if you decide today that it's me, great. But what happens tomorrow? You may even believe that you'll choose me again, next year. But I'm not sure enough to wait and see. As long as Lucy is in your life, you'll never be over her. And I can't live with it.''

Kevin stepped towards her, but she tightened her grip on Chris's hand and stepped away from him. ''Eve, I don't know what to say.''

''Don't say anything, Kevin. Just say that you're sorry you wasted the last year of her life and walk out the door.'' Chris moved to Eve's side and glared at Kevin.

''Chris, I'm not going to say this again. Stay out of this!''

''Or what? You know, if you'd really been in love with Eve, I wouldn't be in this in the first place. It's not my fault you can't get over your obsession with Lucy Coe. That's what it is, you know. You didn't have her undivided attention, so you had to chase her and make sure you did.''

Eve jerked on Chris's arm. ''Don't.''

Looking at Eve, Kevin shook his head. ''Is that what you think this is? Make up your mind, Eve, is this about Ryan, or Lucy?''

''It doesn't matter, Kevin! Don't you understand that? You connection to Ryan started this, but whatever the effect Lucy has on you is going to keep it going for the rest of your life! I have to get out, Kevin.'' Eve shook her head. ''I have to get back on the floor. I would really prefer it if you weren't at the lighthouse when I go there tonight.''

''And I'll be with her, so don't think you're going to try to make excuses to get her to understand.'' Chris led her out the door, leaving Kevin to stare at the wall, wondering where things had started to go so completely bad.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

When Victor, Mary, and Lucy returned to Lucy's house, they were surprised to see Kevin sitting on the hood of his car in the driveway. The second Lucy looked at him, she knew something was wrong. Not really sure she wanted to hear it, she walked past him and opened the door.

At first, all Kevin did was pace around the living room. Mary, Victor, and Lucy exchanged confused looks and watched him. Finally, noticing how they were all looking at him, he sighed and sat down.

''Okay, Kevin. Spill it. What's happened?'' His eyes met Lucy's for a moment before dropping to the floor. Taking a deep breath, she stared at him. ''You're not coming back, are you.'' She tried to keep her voice even.

Victor and Mary looked at each other, wondering if they should leave them alone. Finally, Lucy nodded at Mary, and she led Victor into the kitchen.

''No! Nothing like that, Lucy. It's just that.....'' He sighed. ''I don't have the right to dump this on you.''

''Doc,'' Lucy sat on the end of the couch and reached for him. ''We're friends, right? What's wrong? If it's me, tell me-''

''It's not you. If you want the truth, it's me. I'm the one that made everything so confusing. I'm the one that couldn't keep my head on straight, and now-''

''Kevin! What is it?!''

Leaning back, Kevin sighed again. ''I'm here because I was not so politely requested to stay away from the lighthouse while Eve packed.''

Lucy was quiet for a second. ''Eve left you?''

''She and Chris are packing her things as we speak.''

Part of Lucy wanted to jump for joy, but she knew how much this was hurting him. ''This is my fault, Kevin. I'm sorry.''

''No. Lucy, none of this is your fault. I did this. I hurt you, I hurt Eve. I made a total mess of everything. I can't blame Eve for not wanting any part of this.''

''Look,'' It was tearing Lucy apart to say this, but she had to tell him. ''If you really love Eve, go to her. Ryan already knows about the babies. We'll find a way to stop him. I'm not shutting you out, so don't accuse me. I'm telling you that you're off the hook. You can be uncle Kevin, and I'm sure you can make Eve understand.''

''That's not what I want, Lucy. For the last 4 months, I've been their father. I've watched them grow, and felt them kick, and I want to be there when they're born. I love them. I don't think Eve will ever understand. Besides, I'm not sure I want her to.''

''What do you mean?''

''I mean that I feel like I should be..... I don't know, more upset that she's leaving? Be wanting to go there and convince her to stay? Lucy that's just it. I don't want her to stay enough to go fight her and Chris to talk to her. What does that say about me?''

Lucy knew exactly what she hoped it meant, but she wasn't about to volunteer the information.

''I've been trying to decide what I was going to do. I thought I loved her, but every time I got anywhere near you, I didn't understand what I was feeling. I've been confused, and I didn't know how to tell either of you. I know it wasn't fair, I hurt both of you. Mary called me a hormonal teenager this afternoon. At first I was completely offended, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. Lucy, I've spent the last few months playing both sides. Wanting to be the family man and Daddy with you, and pretending to be the happily married man with Eve. It wasn't that simple, but I get the feeling that's about what it boils down to.''

Lucy had listened to every word he said, trying to figure out where he was headed. This was, by far, the most open and honest he'd been with her since the day he'd left her standing at the altar. She had the impression he wanted her to say something, but suddenly she decided she wasn't going to make it easy for him.

''I guess the way I'm feeling right now is how I've felt all along, I just didn't want to admit it.''

Finally, she spoke. ''How are you feeling?''

''I'm.....'' He shook his head. ''I think I'm actually relieved she's leaving. I think she knew what I was thinking, even though I didn't want to admit it.''

''And...?''

''And..... somewhere along the line I stopped thinking of the babies as Ryan's. I started feeling like they were mine. And I started remembering how it felt when you were mine.'' His eyes finally met hers.

Lucy's heart began to pound in her chest. But she willed herself to appear calm and didn't answer him.

''I've been going through the motions with Eve. And you. The only thing that felt real to me was the way I feel about them.'' He nodded towards her and stared at the babies inside her.

''And now?''

''And now, I'm realizing that it's not just them. It's you. Us. Being a family, the family we both wanted so desperately.'' Standing, he paced around the living room again. ''What does it say about me that it took Ryan to make me realize what I've been doing?''

Lucy watched him intently.

Sitting next to her, he put his hand on the babies and stared at her. ''I kept telling myself that we were over. That we couldn't go back. Trying to convince myself, maybe. I don't know. But being here, with you, getting ready for the babies, has pretty much convinced everyone else what's going on. It just took me longer to figure it out.''

Leaning towards him, Lucy kissed him. She couldn't help herself. Reaching up, Kevin touched her face and inched towards her. For a few minutes, Lucy found herself lost in his touch, wanting him to hold her and tell her he wanted to be with her. But it wasn't right. Pushing gently on his chest, she pulled away from him, tears running down her face. ''Kevin, this isn't right.''

''Lucy-''

''Listen to me. You may have been feeling this way, but you didn't make up your mind. Eve did it for you. I love you, I always have. As far as I'm concerned, you are the father of my children. But I'm not the consolation prize. I won't take you by default. Eve's tired of it, tired of waiting for you to decide what you wanted. I wanted you to CHOOSE be with me, not have Eve tell you that's what you wanted.''

''That's not what this is about. Eve left because she knows I can't get over you. That this isn't about the babies. It's about you.''

''Now it is! I wish, for one minute, you would really consider, not think about, but really understand what you've been doing to me! Getting closer, running away. Back and forth. Tearing me apart, time after time! I know you think this is what you want, and maybe it is. But not right now. I love you, and I know this is what I want, but I've known for a long time. I can't open myself up to this right now. I want to know where YOU'RE coming from NOT EVE.''

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Eve took the last bag out to the car and stood in the doorway.

''You going to be okay, Eve.'' Chris's voice was soft.

''I know. I guess that's a big part of it, too. I mean, it hurts, it really hurts. But I'm glad he isn't here. I just don't want to deal with any of this anymore.'' Eve sighed.

Knowing it was the last thing she wanted to hear, but that she needed to, Chris put his hands on her shoulders. ''This should be all you need to figure this out. He doesn't care enough to try to stop you, and you're glad. Come on. He might be a dog, but I do think if he finds anything we missed, he'll send it to you.''

The last thing Eve did was put the key to the door on the dining room table. That was it, and the finality of it hit her.

Standing in the doorway, Chris watched her cry. He was glad she'd finally come to her senses concerning Collins, but it made him furious that she was in so much pain.

Barely able to take a last look around, Eve turned to Chris. ''Get me out of here.''

In two steps, Chris reached her and took her hand. ''Come on.'' Leading her outside, they were next to his car before she pulled away.

''I still can't believe my life has become this, Chris. I love him. How did I get here? What is it about me that I keep ending up with these men that hurt me so much?''

''Eve,'' She didn't look at him. Gently, he pulled her chin to face him. ''I don't like him. Never did. But I really don't think he had it in him to plan this. I really think he wanted to be over Lucy. Every bit as much as you wanted to be over Scott.''

''I know he didn't plan this. But I also know it happened. He'll never get over her. I should have known that the day he left her. Even after she lied to him, after he caught her in bed with Scott, after she broke his heart, he couldn't stop caring about her.'' She shook her head. ''He couldn't stop loving her. Chris, I would love to blame her for all of this. I would like to say that she chased him, that she used her babies to get him back.''

''Did she?'' Knowing the answer, he stared at her.

''No. For a few months, she didn't want to see him, she didn't want to talk to him, she wanted nothing to do with him. And it made him crazy. He kept asking Victor about her, kept trying to get her to talk to him.'' She shook her head and wiped her eyes. ''That should have told me everything, right?''

''Eve, sometimes people are just connected. No matter how hard they try not to be. They just keep ending up in each other's lives.''

Eve glared at him.

''This is not one of Lucy's wacko psychic ideas. I'm not talking about souls, or karma, or any of that stuff. I'm talking about two people who care about each other no matter what. They try to get away from each other, they act like they don't care about each other, they may not even see each other for months on end. Hell, they may even be with other people. But in the end, they always end up together.'' His eyes met hers as he spoke, wondering if she understood what he was really saying.

She did. ''Together drinking martinis?''

Her smile almost made Chris's heart melt. ''You got it, kid.'' Kissing her forehead softly, he reached for the door to open it for her. ''Come on. It's always happy hour at my house.''

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

''This is where I'm coming from, Lucy. I'm sitting here, admitting how I feel about you. Admitting how I feel about them.''

''What changed, Kevin? You're suddenly not confused anymore? Now that you don't have Eve run home to, I look good?''

He stared at her. ''You know me better than that, Lucy.''

''Do I?'' After a short struggle, and a little help from him, she stood. ''I thought I did. You showed me I didn't know you as well as I thought. Can you understand where I'm coming from?''

''Yes.'' He moved to stand in front of her. ''I do understand. But you know this is not about Eve. She left because I love you. She knew it. She's known that this wasn't just about the twins.''

''That's it!'' She backed away from him, her anger getting out of control. ''Everyone thought I would use my babies to get to you. No one, including me, for that matter, ever even considered the fact that YOU would use them to get to ME!'' Before he could reply, she began to scream. ''I told you that as far as I'm concerned, YOU are their father! That I was part of the deal. But I'll be damned it that meant that I WAS the deal! Go home, Kevin! I'm not saying I don't love you, or that I don't want you, but not like this. Not because you can't stand to go home to an empty house. I couldn't stand it, I hate to be alone, and you know it. But when YOU didn't want me, you didn't care that I was all by myself. Now that you're all by yourself, you want me back? I don't think so, Doc.'' She poked his chest. ''You go home to an empty house, you stare at the walls, you wonder what you could have done to change things!'' With that, she turned and went upstairs.

Having heard her screaming, Victor and Mary came out of the kitchen. Instantly, Mary glared at him. ''What did you do to her now?''

Kevin shrugged. ''I told her I loved her.''

Confused, Mary ran up the stairs after Lucy.

''Monk, what else did you say to her. I hardly think you telling her you feel the same way she does would invoke this kind of response.''

''Victor, how do I single handedly manage to screw up so badly?'' Sighing, Kevin sat down. ''Eve left me. Because I still love Lucy.''

''Let me get this straight. You told Lucy that Eve left you, and you want to be with her?''

''Eve left me BECAUSE I want to be with her.''

''That still wasn't the best way to say it to her, Monk. As much as she loves you, did you think she would be grateful to feel like second best?''

''She's not!'' Kevin stared at Victor. ''I always do or say the wrong thing to her, don't I.''

Sitting next to him, Victor shook his head. ''You know how she feels. You also know that she's pregnant. I'm not saying she's wrong in the way she reacted tonight. But an already high strung, emotional Lucy is twice as bad right now. And as sensitive as she is to anything you say or do, did you stop to think there was a better way to tell her this?''

Kevin stood. ''You're right. She's right. I need to get out of here. Tell her I went home to the empty house.'' With that, he left.

Kevin sat in his car in her driveway for a few minutes, thinking about everything he'd said and done to her since the day he'd found out she was pregnant. How many times he'd told her that he wanted to be involved, only to turn around and tell her how much he loved Eve. Why should she believe him now? 

_**Here I am, playing with those memories again  
And just when I thought time had set me free  
Those thoughts of you keep taunting me **_

_**Holding you, A feeling I never outgrew  
Though each and every part of me has tried  
Only you can fill that space inside **_

**_Just when I thought I was over you.  
And just when I thought I could stand on my own  
Oh baby those memories come crashing through  
And I just can't go on without you_**

Lucy lay on her bed, facing the wall away from Mary, crying. As much as she'd dreamt of Kevin saying exactly what he's said to her tonight, a part of her was too afraid to take the chance on him again. Part of her wondered if he would have said those things if Eve hadn't decided she'd had enough.

_**On my own I've tried to make the best of it alone  
I've done everything I can to ease the pain  
But only you can stop the rain **_

**_I just can't live without you  
I miss everything about you_**

Finally driving home, Kevin thought about everything that had happened today. When he'd kissed her, it had brought back everything that he knew he's always felt inside. He knew, now, that he belonged with her, but how was he going to convince her that Eve had nothing to do with it?

_**Just when I thought I was over you  
Just when I thought I could stand on my own  
Oh baby those memories come crashing through  
And I just can't go on without you**_

_**Song credit: Here I Am by Air Supply**_


	9. Part 9

Kevin took a deep breath and knocked on the door. After a few moments, Victor opened it. "Have you thought about what you're going to say to her now?"

Glaring at Victor for a moment, Kevin finally shrugged. "I've thought of nothing else since I left last night. How is she?"

"She's better today. That's why I want to know if you've thought out what you're going to say. The last thing she needs is for you to upset her again."

"I have no intention of upsetting her. That's not why I'm here." Kevin's voice was quiet. "I just want to talk to her."

Pointing at the back door, Victor reached for Kevin. "You know she loves you. Give it some time. You need to convince her that she's not second choice for you now."

Kevin started to go out the back door, and stopped. Lucy was sitting in the grass, next to Luke, which didn't surprise Kevin. But the fact that Sonny was sitting in the grass in what was probably a $1000 suit made him smile. Only Lucy could accomplish that.

When he approached them, Lucy looked up at him, her expression telling him that she'd expected him. "Kevin."

"Is this a private party?"

"Hey, Kev! Grab a piece of grass, man." Luke moved, inviting Kevin to join them, but he slid closer to Lucy, as if to make sure Kevin kept his distance.

"I hope the guards out front aren't giving you too much hassle, Kevin." Sonny sounded sincere, and Kevin shook his head.

"I've learned the hard way to offer them my I.D. before they get to me." He shrugged. "What can they do? I don't care what they do to me, as long as they're making sure she's safe."

"They will. Trust me."

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Luke started laughing, and it took him a minute to be able to say it. "Why don't you get a tatoo? Maybe one to match Luce's." The look he received from Kevin almost made him stop laughing. "Not that I've ever seen it. I've only heard about it." Kevin didn't look convinced. "I swear. She drank enough to tell me about it, but not enough to show me."

Before Kevin could say anything, Sonny jumped in. "I was there. One more drink, and we would have seen it."  
Kevin glared back and forth at the laughing men, but anything he was going to say, one look at Lucy stopped him. She was laughing so hard tears were running down her face, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her so relaxed and actually enjoying herself. He smiled. "Congratulations, gentlemen. That's the closest I've ever seen her to actually blushing."

"I can't...... I can't......" It took her a minute to be able to reply. "I am so sorry I told them. They will NEVER let me live it down." But she was still laughing.

"Breathe, Luce. You're turning a little blue there."

"Shut up, Spencer! Now that you've all had SO much fun at my expense, you can get me up."

Standing, Luke offered his hand. "Don't just sit there, Kev, this is a two man operation! Ouch!"

Lucy kicked him.

Laughing, Kevin stood and reached for Lucy's hand. Between the two men, they easily pulled Lucy to her feet.

Freeing her hands from them, she put them on her back. "Wow, my back isn't taking the abuse very well."

"You okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded in response to Kevin. "Just aches."

While she walked into the house, Sonny stood and joined Luke and Kevin. "Have you heard anything from Chamberlain?"

Kevin looked at him. "No. I don't think we will until after she delivers. He wants them."

"From what you said about his last visit, that's not all he wants." Luke stared at him.

"I wish I had the answers, Luke. I know what's riding on it."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Shutting off the TV, Ryan smiled to himself. Julie has escaped Ferncliff. Evidently she was a little smarter than he gave her credit for. Figuring she would stay missing until after she gave birth, Ryan wondered what she was going to do. The state would take the baby away from her unless she named the father. Then he would be given sole custody, and she still wouldn't see her baby. Maybe. What he needed to do was find out what her options were. Maybe he could go by the same avenues.

The idea of spending his life on the run with the twins was appealing, but it didn't exactly scream of a stable environment to raise them. It amazed him that with Georgie, being on the run was the plan, but when the children involved were his own, it was a different matter. He would have to do some serious research on the situation.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"I would almost think you're enjoying this." Exiting the Lamaze classroom with Kevin, Lucy smiled at him.

"I actually am. Why does that surprise you?"

"I don't know. It just does."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "Hungry?"

"Doc, when was I not hungry before I got pregnant?" Laughing, she leaned towards him as they walked down the corridor.

Rounding the corner to go to the elevator, they both stopped when they saw Eve.

Eve stared at both of them for a moment before she shook her head. "I guess I can't say I'm surprised."

"Eve, I..." Kevin began.

"Kevin, don't. Just..... don't." Starting to walk away, she turned to Lucy. "It worked, you know. The disinterested, hard to get routine. Made him crazy. He had to know everything you were up to, and when you shut him out, it made him want to know more. And the thought that you were really going to be okay on your own? He just couldn't let that happen. You played him like a fiddle, and I couldn't stick around to watch it. He's all yours."

"This isn't the time, or the place, Eve." Kevin felt Lucy pulling her hand away from him, and he knew that Eve was giving validity to Lucy's fears that he wanted to be with her because Eve had left.

"Why not, Kevin? When has it ever upset Lucy to find out that one of her schemes worked? I'm out of the picture, and that should make her feel better."

"Eve, I thought this was over as far as you were concerned."

Sighing, Eve looked at Kevin. "It is. Believe me, I've realized that it's been over for a while, but I wouldn't give up." Before he could answer, she turned and walked away.

Kevin turned to Lucy. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." He reached for her hand, but she pulled away. "I did this. I know I did. I just have no idea what to do about it."

"Right now, there is nothing to do about it. We've both said all along the girls are what matter right now. The rest....." She shrugged. "We'll have to see."

Knowing she was pulling away out of self-preservation didn't make it any easier to watch her. He sighed. "I know you have a hard time with this. I don't know how to convince you."

"I don't know if you can. I don't know if I'll ever stop thinking you chose me without Eve shoving you in my direction. Or wondering if you'd go back if you got the chance."

"Go back...? To Eve?" The way she was looking at him told him. She really believed what she was saying. "Lucy, I know how hard it was for you to trust me in the beginning. And after how it turned out, I can't say I blame you for being afraid."

"Can we not talk about this here?" The last thing she wanted to do was cry where she knew Eve would hear about it.

"Okay. Come on. Let's get you out of her and feed you." Resisting the urge to reach for her again, he led her into the elevator. When they entered it, Lucy leaned against the wall and sighed.

"Your back still?"

"Worse. But I think instead of going out to eat I'm going to go home and lie down for a while. Hopefully it will ease up."

Moving to her, Kevin put his hands on the small of her back and rubbed.  
His hands felt so good that she leaned into him and closed her eyes. The elevator stopped on the first floor and he whispered in her ear. "I'll finish this later. Promise."  
Smiling, she shrugged. Whatever was going to or not going to happen between them, she couldn't deny she loved the attention.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Ryan hung up the phone and stared at the wall. So many options. None of them really appealed to him, but if he wanted to claim his babies, he would have to decide on one of them.

There was still a chance Kevin had told the truth about him and Lucy. That was something else he would have to contend with. But he really didn't think that was the case. Sighing, Ryan leaned back. In his heart, he believed with everything in him that the twins Lucy was carrying were his, and Kevin had tried to take them from him.

After a few more hours on the phone, and questioning numerous criminal and child custody lawyers, Ryan realized he was not going to get any more information without physically sitting down with one of them. So, on the information he had, he needed to decide.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Kevin entered Luke's and looked around. It had been ages since he'd walked through those doors. Eve didn't really like the blues, and she hated being around all of Lucy's friends. Sadly, he realized how much of his life, how much of himself, he had rearranged to be with her. And how badly he'd managed to hurt people along the way.

"Can I help you?" Luke's voice was low and threatening.

"I guess if I ask you how drunk Lucy had to be to tell you about the tattoo, you'll know who I am?"

Laughing, Luke gestured to the bar. "I see your sense of humor is trying to make a comeback. For a while, there, I thought it had been surgically removed."

Kevin laughed in spite of himself. "No, just......"

"A leave of absence?"

"Leave of senses, is more like it." Admitting that reluctantly, he stared at Luke. "Go ahead."

"What?"

"The 'I told you so's' or any of the other assorted things I'm sure you've had to say about me in the last few years."

Going behind the bar, Luke poured Kevin a glass of Akavit and sighed. "Well, it's no fun to kick a man who's already pretty beaten down, you know? Besides, with your vocabulary, I'm sure you can do a better job on yourself."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."

Kevin looked so pathetic that Luke couldn't shake a feeling of almost pity for him. "Look, I've never had a personal problem with you. But Luce is my friend. And I don't look the other way when my friends get hurt. And, to me, it doesn't matter if it's a gun shot to the head, or a knife to their heart. Hurt is hurt. And I think you've done enough of that to her. Fair enough?"

Sighing, Kevin drank down his drink in one swallow. "Okay, how do I convince BOTH of you that I don't ever want to hurt her again?"

"You don't need to convince me. And you're on your own with her. If you're for real you'll figure out a way."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Ryan sat in the car across the street. Sooner or later, he'd get his chance. Kevin was too preoccupied to notice that he'd been followed all day.

"Are you okay?" Mary's voice was soft, and Lucy nodded.

"Yeah. My back is killing me, but I'm so tired I think I'll fall asleep sooner or later, anyway." She sighed. "I just can't get comfortable."

Sitting on the bed next to her, Mary smiled. "It's only a few more weeks, honey."

"Seven." Lucy smiled. "I'm counting."

Laughing, Mary took a pillow and folded it in half. "Try this." She placed the pillow against Lucy's back and wedged it between her body and the bed. "Try to take some of the pressure off."

Mary moved the pillow around a bit until Lucy stopped her. "That's it. Right there."

"Better?"

"Yeah." Lucy sighed. "I just need to get some sleep."

"Well, you get some. I'm going to work in an hour. Kevin will probably be here when you wake up."

Lucy sighed again. "Part of the reason I'm so tired is from dealing with him."

"He's trying, Lucy. I believe that."

"Me, too. But I can't shake the feeling that he wouldn't be trying so hard if he still had Eve to go home to."

"I'm not so sure. And I don't think you are, either." Mary stared at her for a long moment.

"You're right. I'm not. But I'm also not sure enough that I'm not ready to just jump in with him again."

"Jump in again? Honey, be honest with me. Were you ever really out?"

Lucy's throat tightened to the point she couldn't answer Mary, so she bit her lip and shook her head.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will tell you what I see. I see you loving a man that you're afraid to believe in. I see him wanting to be a part of a family with you, and wanting it so badly that he pushed Eve away. I believe that if he really wanted her back, he would have been there, not here while she packed her things." Lucy nodded in agreement, and Mary continued. "So what's stopping you?"

Taking a deep breath, Lucy forced herself to speak. "I gave him my heart once, Mary. I gave him my whole heart and soul. It wasn't enough before. Because I'm going to have twins, it's going to be enough now? That's not how I want him. Not out of some obligation he thinks he has to me." She shifted again and winced. "They're really moving tonight."

Mary was instantly a nurse. "Pain?"

"No. Not really pain. Other then my back. Just... uncomfortable." The subject safely away from Kevin, Lucy smiled. "They're turning. I know. I'll be fine. Better then fine."

"That's right." Mary agreed with her. "You get some sleep, and I'll be back tomorrow."

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Kevin went home to pack a bag to take to Lucy's. He knew that she loved him, but she was also afraid of him. Not that he could blame her, he hadn't exactly ended up being all of her dreams come true. But this time he would be. Smiling to himself, he thought about the last Lamaze class and how connected they were.

He held her hand and pretended to time her contractions. But their eyes met and they couldn't keep straight faces.

"Doc! This is serious!" But she could barely get the words out before dissolving into laughter again.

"Serious. I can do that." His eyes met hers again and they both bit their lips to stop laughing.

Between panting and laughing, her breasts were literally pushing out of the neckline of her shirt. He must have been obvious about the way he was staring, because she shook her head and crossed her arms across herself. "Oh, no. Don't even think it! They're so sore that even looking at them hurts."

Embarrassed, Kevin had turned away, but it was too late. The expression on his face had sent Lucy into another uncontrollable fit of laughter.

Shaking his head, Kevin forced himself to look at what he was doing. The entire class had been forced to stop and wait for the two of them to get themselves under control. It had been a great afternoon with her. Until Eve had made her appearance.

Sighing, Kevin wondered what it was going to take to convince Lucy that he wanted the same thing she wanted. A family. Their family. The family they had both always dreamed of having together.

As he reached into the closet, he heard something before the world went black.  
Standing over him, Ryan reached into Kevin's pocket for his wallet. The urge to strangle him was almost too strong, but he realized that if he was going to get to the truth about who was the father of the twins, he needed Kevin alive. But, for his current purpose, he needed Kevin to stay put for a while.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Lucy rolled over slowly and opened her eyes. The uncomfortable feeling was still there, and she shifted. As she slowly made her way to her feet, a pain in her lower back actually made her moan softly.

"You okay?" Kevin stared at her and she jumped.

"Yeah. How long have you been here?" He'd startled her, and she grabbed her back again.

He tried to keep his distance, but he couldn't keep from staring at her.

"Doc?" Her voice told him that she knew something was wrong.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he smiled at her. "I was just watching you sleep."

After she disappeared into the bathroom, Ryan sighed. He knew he really had no choice in the matter. If he wanted to raise his children in anything that resembled a stable environment, he had to do it by coming forward and claiming them. Killing Kevin wouldn't accomplish anything. Lucy would still name him as the father, and he couldn't disprove anything. The original thought of killing Lucy and taking them didn't appeal to him as much as it did before, either. As much as he wanted to forget, he couldn't make his mind stop going back to the time he spent with her on Jasmine Island.

Lucy came out of the bathroom and stared at him. Something was nagging at the back of her mind, but she couldn't force herself to think about it. Her back was killing her, and she was really not feeling well.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He stepped closer then he intended to, and she shook her head.

"I don't know. I feel weird, actually." Her eyes met his, and she stopped.

"Weird? How?" Oblivious to her shift in mood, Ryan's eyes dropped to the twins and he reached for her.

As soon as his hand touched her, Lucy knew. Taking a step back, she stared at him. "I think I might just need something to drink." Her heart was racing in her chest, and she tried to hide the fear from him. As she crossed the bedroom, his hand took her arm.

"We need to talk, Lucy."

"No, we don't." She tried to jerk her arm away, but he held on to her.

"Actually, we do." Pulling her closer, he tightened his grip on her arm.

"Let go of me!" She struggled, but Ryan held her.

"Stop it, Lucy! I'm not going to hurt you!"

She tried to twist out of his arms, but a cramp seized her and she doubled over.  
Instantly worried, Ryan helped her to the bed and sat her on it. "What is it?"

"It's YOU!" Lucy felt hysteria building, but tried to keep herself calm for the twins. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"We're going to talk, Lucy. I'm not here to hurt you. Or them. I need to talk to you." He kneeled in front of her. "It is getting better?"

Nodding, Lucy rubbed her abdomen. "Why are you here?"

"We're going to talk, Lucy. We're going to talk about MY twins and how YOU thought you were going to give them to Kevin!" His voice rose as he became angry, and Lucy leaned away from him.

Realizing that he was scaring her, Ryan reached for her and put his hands on her thighs. He tried to hold her gently, but he could feel every muscle tighten under his fingers. "You and I created them. You know it and I know it."

She shook her head, but didn't answer him.

"Twins." His voice was low and he stared at her. "My twins."

"No." Lucy whispered and tried to get up again.

"Don't do this." His hands tightened on her, and his voice rose. "I've been thinking about this for months. I mean, I really didn't know what to do. I did think about just taking them. I'd find a way, and you know it."

Tears came to her eyes, but she didn't say anything.

"But then I'd have to hide forever. Not that I didn't already have to, but raising twins like that.... I mean, MY TWINS." The words trailed off, and he reached out to touch them.

As soon as his hand touched her, she shivered and tried to move away from him.

His hand caressed her and he held her still. "I've waited for this for so long."

Biting her lip, Lucy tensed.

"I can't wait to hold them. To tell them I'm their Daddy."

"NO!" Pushing him away, Lucy forced herself to get to her feet. Before she could get to the door, Ryan had her by the arm. She started to scream, but his hand over her mouth prevented her from making a sound.

Dragging her back to the bed, he whispered in her ear. "This is going to go my way, Lucy. You're best bet is to just sit still and listen." He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her back against him. "We're going to talk. That's all. Then I'll leave and you can tell everyone what I'm planning." Her back arched and she fell. Holding her up, he continued to move with her towards the bed. "Don't try it, Lucy. I'm not going to do anything that will hurt them."

As soon as he put her on the bed, she gripped the sheets and moaned. "Something's wrong." She could barely speak.

"It's you." His voice was soft and he brushed her hair off her forehead. "You need to relax."

It passed and she shook her head. "It felt like a contraction."

She sounded so afraid that Ryan began to wonder if he'd made a big mistake. "Lucy, calm down. I've told you I'm not going to hurt you. I had to see you. Nothing's wrong, but you need to stop. See, I have to be the responsible father, and I accept that."

"What do you mean?" Forcing herself to take deep breaths, she stared at him.

"I mean I'm going to claim MY children, Lucy."

Shaking her head, she inched away from him. "You are NOT going to take my children. I'll kill you myself, Ryan. I swear I will."

"No, Lucy, that's not what I mean."

Before she could react, another pain hit her and she doubled over. Unable to control himself, Ryan moved closer to her and put his hand on her. "Breathe, Lucy. Come on, just take a deep breath."

"Something's wrong." Lucy began to cry. "I can feel it."

Watching her face, Ryan began to believe her. "Talk to me. What does it feel like?"

"It feels like a contraction." She took a few breaths.

"Lie down." Moving off the bed, he helped her shift so she was lying on her side.

"Call the doctor. Please, Ryan. You don't understand."

Responding to the real fear in her voice, Ryan reached for her wrist and checked her pulse. In those few seconds, she had broken out in a sweat that covered her body. "Take a deep breath, Lucy. Everything's fine."

"You don't know that!" Her body tensed and she actually screamed from the pain.

Before Ryan could do anything, he heard the same bodyguards that had checked his stolen ID running up the stairs. When they reached the bedroom door, Ryan made a decision. Standing, he turned to them. "We need to get her to the hospital."

Not knowing that they had made a mistake, the bodyguards moved to the bed to help him get her to her feet. Even as Lucy held on to their arms, she shook her head. "Don't let him touch me!" The guards were confused, but Lucy continued. "He did something to Kevin." Her mind wouldn't let her think about what he could have done to Kevin, but she had to get Ryan away from her.

Ryan reached for her arm, but she jerked away. "What did you do to him?!" Her legs buckled and she began to scream again. Confused, the guards put her back on the bed and Ryan moved towards her. This time there was no doubt it was a contraction. For almost thirty seconds, all Lucy could do was scream. As it began to subside, Lucy began to cry. "Find Kevin. Please find him."

The guards looked at Ryan, who watched Lucy for a moment before taking her hand and sighing. "He's at the lighthouse." Her eyes met his, and he reached for her face gently. "He's fine. I just needed his wallet to get close to you."

It sunk in to the guards, and they finally reacted. One grabbed his radio while the other grabbed Ryan and shoved him into the ground. "She needs a doctor!" Ryan's voice was muffled in the carpet as he tried to make them understand that she needed help.

Lucy's screams stopped them all and they looked at her. Ryan tried to get up, but the guard held him down.

"She needs help! Can't you get that? Lucy?!" Ryan yelled, and she answered him.

"My water broke!" Her crying turned to screams as another contraction hit her.

The guards had no idea what to do. The one on the radio was suddenly screaming for an ambulance, and the other gripped Ryan tighter. As the stain spread across the comforter under her, the guards were closer to panicking than she was. The one with the radio finally moved closer to her. "I'll stay with her till the EMT's get here. You get him out of here."

As the other guard jerked Ryan to his feet. One look at her convinced Ryan that she didn't have time for the EMT's to arrive. "She's in labor, you idiot! Lucy, tell them!"

All she could do was nod.

Ryan continued. "You signed on to keep me away from her, are either of you ready to deliver twins?"

Uneasy, the guards stared at each other.

Taking his chance, Ryan looked at Lucy. "I'm a doctor! I can help her."

"No way!" The guard holding him jerked him closer to the door. "You're not getting near her."

"Lucy!" Ryan wasn't going to give up. "They're my babies. I won't hurt them. Lucy, you know I'm the only one here that can do this!"

Lucy screamed again and the guards stared at her as if she was going to bite. Looking around at them, Lucy realized that Ryan was right. Both guards looked halfway to fainting, and she knew she couldn't count on them to help. Crying, she looked at the one that was holding Ryan and nodded. "Let him go."

"Lucy," The guard wasn't sure, but she shook her head.

"Find Kevin!"

"The EMT's-"

"Won't get here in time." Feeling another contraction coming, she grit her teeth and forced herself to continue. "They're coming NOW and he's the only one that-"Her voice dissolved into another scream that scared both guards half to death.  
Almost laughing, Ryan easily pulled away from the guard that was holding him and moved to the bed. "What's the matter, gentlemen? Killing a person is no problem, but you can't deal with the birth of one?" Gently, he reached for Lucy and shoved pillows under her back. His eyes met hers and he smiled. "They're coming hard and fast now."

She nodded.

"They're going to be fine, Lucy. I promise." She looked so scared that Ryan took her hand. "You took Lamaze. You've done this before. You're going to be fine. Come on, breathe."

Her skin was crawling, but she realized that Ryan was the one person in the room that really could handle this. "Please don't hurt them."

"Hurt them?!" His voice rose. "I've told you I don't want to hurt them!" He scared her, and he moved back a bit to take a deep breath himself. Turning to the guards, he shook his head. "Looks to me like you two need to leave the room before you faint."

They were undecided until the next contraction. When Lucy began to scream, they moved back towards the door. Her hands clenched Ryan's arms as he moved her into a better position.

"Before either of you faint, would one of you find me some towels?" Ryan's voice was soft, but he still managed to sound extremely sarcastic.

Nodding, one of them took the opportunity to escape and ran from the room in search of towels. Smiling, Ryan brushed the hair off Lucy's face. "This is it, Lucy. You ready?"

"Like I have a choice." Her voice was strained, and Ryan laughed.

His eyes met hers, and he whispered to her. "We created them, Lucy. We're going to bring them into the world."

She was actually afraid to contradict him at that moment, so she gripped his hand and closed her eyes.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

The door to the lighthouse broke open easily and Johnny entered. "Dr. Collins?!"

"Up here!" Kevin's voice echoed down the stairs and Johnny ran up to the bedroom, where Kevin was tied to the chair at his desk. "Get me out of here! I have to get to her!"

As Johnny untied Kevin, he spoke. "Mac Scorpio is already on his way there. So are the EMT's."

"EMT's? Lucy...." Kevin was about to panic.

"From what the guys said she's in labor."

"I'll kill him. I swear if he did this to her-"

Grabbing his arm, Johnny dragged him towards the door. "The sooner we get you there, the sooner we can get him out of there."

"What?!" Stopping, Kevin looked at him.

"I'll explain in the car. Let's go!"

Fighting his panic, Kevin followed Johnny down the stairs.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

"She's crowning, Lucy. On the next contraction, you need to bear down and push." Ryan looked at her. "You hear me?"

Her breath was coming in short, forced pants and she nodded.

"Slow down. You're going to hyperventilate. Slower. That's right." He smiled at her and waited. It wasn't long. Her body tensed and the strain showed all over her face.

"PUSH!" Ryan yelled at her and reached for the baby as she slid out of Lucy's body. "You did it! She's here!"

With a struggle, Lucy held her head up and watched Ryan. She couldn't see what he was doing, but she could feel the movement as he tied off the cord and cut it. His face was an expression of awe and tears ran down his face as he held the tiny baby in his hands.

"Can I see her? Please? I want to see her. Ryan, please let me see her." Lucy was almost whimpering at him, and all she wanted was to hold her baby in her arms.

His expression changed to one that Lucy couldn't place and she tried to sit up. As she moved, another contraction hit and she screamed again.

Jumping out of the car, Kevin ran to the door and opened it as Lucy's screams echoed through the house. The EMT's were on the stairs, and they slowed Kevin down reaching the top. Sliding past them roughly, Kevin pushed past the guards, glaring at them as he did, and entered the bedroom. He saw Lucy on the bed and his heart stopped for a moment before he realized what looked like blood was actually afterbirth.

"DOC! He has her!" Lucy was crying and pointing at Ryan, who had moved the baby to the dresser.

Moving closer, Kevin kept his voice low. "Ryan, give her to me. Please."

"How early is she, Kevin?" Ryan was close to tears, and Kevin looked at the baby, who had turned a slight shade of blue.

"About 7 weeks." Concern on Kevin's face only made Lucy more hysterical.

"What's wrong?! What's wrong with her!?"

"Her lungs..... they might not be developed enough to clear on their own." Ryan's voice was soft, and he ignored Lucy's cries. "We have to clear them." Using his fingers, he pressed on the baby's chest much like one would a drowning victim. From the expression on Ryan's face, Kevin knew that his training as a pediatrician had taken over, and he turned to Lucy. She was crying and he moved to her.

Taking her hands, Kevin leaned closer to her. "He'll help her, Lucy. He knows what to do." His heart was in his throat, but he forced himself to sound calm for Lucy. Her hands gripped his so tightly that her nails dug into his hands.

"She's not crying. Doc, she's not crying. What's wrong with her?" Her voice was strained as another contraction began.

The EMT's entered the room, and immediately Ryan started barking orders at them. "I need suction! NOW!" When they didn't move, he screamed again, which only made Lucy more hysterical. But it worked, and the EMT's began rummaging through their bags.

Reacting to Lucy, Kevin squeezed her hands. "Let's worry about her sister, okay?" Pulling his hands away from hers, he moved to her feet and took her legs gently. "You need to do it again."

"I don't know if I can." Her eyes were glued to the scene at the dresser.

"Look at me." Kevin's voice was soft, but demanding, and she reacted. "You can do this. We've been waiting for this for months, Lucy. We're ready."

A flashback of Ryan saying almost the same thing sent a shiver up Lucy's spine, but she nodded. "We can do this. NOW!" She began to scream again, and Kevin watched for the baby's head.

The other EMT approached Kevin and kept his voice low. "How's she doing?"

"We're doing fine." Kevin tried to sound calm but he saw the head and he began to yell. "I see her! Next contraction, push, Lucy! You hear me?"

Nodding, Lucy tried to breathe.

Ryan removed the tube from the baby's throat and lifted her by her feet. A small hacking sound accompanied the sound of the baby drawing her first breath and crying. Tears ran down Ryan's face and he smiled at the EMT. "We've got her. She's fine."

Laying her back down, Ryan gently used his fingers to clear the baby's mouth and she began to really scream. Laughing and crying at the same time, Ryan turned to Lucy. "Just like her mother."

Ryan held the baby against him and watched Kevin closely as another contraction hit Lucy and she screamed.

"She's coming, Lucy! She's coming!" Kevin's voice was almost as loud as Lucy's, and he watched the baby move closer. The contraction subsided, and Lucy was too tired to cry. "We're almost there. One more contraction."

"Promise?" Her eyes met his and he realized how bad she looked.

"You can do this."

"It hurts."

"I know."

"Like hell you do!" She stared at him and her voice was actually more of a whisper. "You have absolutely NO IDEA how much this hurts! None of you do!" A sudden rage produced more energy, and Lucy glared at all of them. "Oh, yeah, you all can put them there, but it's up to US to get them out!" She flopped back and continued her weak tirade.

Smiling, Kevin watched her, knowing that she would have to stop shortly.  
"All you can do is stand there with stupid grins on your faces and tell me that I can do it. I don't see any of you actually wishing you COULD do this yourself!" Her body tensed and she began to cry again. "I CAN'T DO THIS!" She tried to sit up, but couldn't.

"Yes, you can!" Kevin looked at the EMT beside him. "Lift her up."

Gently, the EMT took the pillow behind her back and lifted her to an almost sitting position.

"This is it, Lucy. PUSH!"

Her shriek was almost ear splitting, and Kevin winced as she pushed. It seemed like hours, but in reality it was only a few short seconds before Kevin was holding the small baby in his hands. "You did it! She's beautiful."

"Cut the cord." Ryan's voice was commanding and Kevin glared at him for a moment. But he realized that Ryan was ready this time with the suction tube to clear the baby's lungs. Nodding, Kevin tied off the cord, cut it and watched Ryan. This time it only took a few seconds of silence before the sound of the baby's cries filled the room.

"Doc?" Lucy's voice was a whisper and she couldn't even lift her head to look at them. Reaching for the first baby that was still crying in the EMT's arms, Kevin took her and sat next to Lucy.

"They're fine. See? Beautiful and healthy."

Weakly, she touched the baby softly. "I've waited for this my whole entire life, Doc. My babies."

"Yep." Sliding down so she could better see the baby, Kevin kissed her forehead. Their eyes met, and Kevin couldn't stop his own tears. "I'd lost hope, Lucy. I'd stopped believing this would happen for us." Shifting the baby in his arms, Kevin leaned closer and kissed her lips.

"I love you." Lucy returned his kiss and whispered to him. "I love you, I love them, and I love the family we are."

"NO!" Ryan's voice was sharp, and Kevin looked at him.

"Ryan, put the baby down."

"See, you're missing this very important POINT, Kevin!" Still holding the baby, Ryan began to pace around the room. The EMT's had no idea what was going on, and they stared at Kevin.

"We still don't know WHO is the family, here, do we?" Shaking his head, Ryan wandered around her bed. "See, I guess you guys don't know what's going on, here."

The EMT's watched him, but said nothing.

"This little girl could be mine. She's beautiful, no, she's perfect, actually. She could be my baby." Kneeling on the other side of the bed, Ryan looked at Kevin. "We're going to find out." Actually laughing, Ryan looked at the EMT's again. "Never seen this one, have you?"

They both shook their heads.

Ryan leaned closer to Lucy, who watched the baby in his arms and bit her lip. "Well, this is one for the books, isn't it, Lucy."

Lucy's breathing had become very shallow, and Kevin was beginning to worry about her. "Ryan, they all need to be treated. You know that."

"I know." Ryan nodded and sighed. "She doesn't look good."

"She's scared."

"I guess Port Charles's finest is waiting for me, huh." Ryan looked at Kevin.

"My baby." Lucy whispered. "Please. Give her to me." She moaned softly as a residual contraction made her shake.

"You don't look up to holding her yourself." Ryan held the baby down so Lucy could see her. "She's fine. See?"

"Ryan, please." Lucy actually whimpered as she begged him to give her the baby.

Looking past her, Ryan nodded at the EMT and stood.

Panicking, Lucy tried to reach for the baby. But she couldn't make her body cooperate and she began to cry.

"It's okay." Kevin's voice was low. "He gave the baby to the paramedic. She's fine."

"What did you think I was going to do?! I DELIVERED HER AND I SAVED HER LIFE!" Ryan gestured to the two babies. Taking a towel, he wiped his hands and threw the towel on the floor. "This is far from over, Kevin." Putting his hands on his head, he left the bedroom.

Kevin heard Mac's voice commanding Ryan to get down and a few muffled sounds that could only be Ryan being taken into custody.

Finally Kevin turned his attention back to Lucy. Her eyes were closed, and to Kevin it actually looked as if her lips were beginning to turn blue. "Lucy?"

"Yeah." She whispered to him.

Standing, he handed the baby to the other EMT. "She needs to be transported now."

"Kevin? We've got him!" Mac stopped when he saw Lucy.

Gently, Kevin reached under Lucy and tried to pick her up in his arms.

"My back! Doc! It hurts!" She began to cry and Kevin stopped. Taking a pillow, he put it behind her back before trying again. This time she winced, but didn't say anything. As Kevin moved out of the bedroom with her, Mac walked beside him and helped him get down the stairs and out to the waiting ambulance.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

Kevin touched Lucy's head gently. "Lucy." Keeping his voice low, he repeated her name until she opened her eyes.

When she saw his face, she jumped for a moment and looked around. For a moment, fear crossed her face and a stab went through Kevin. He wondered if she'd ever be able to look at his face again and not wonder if he was Ryan.

She tried to sit up, and even as the pain shot through her, Kevin stopped her. Her hands instinctively went to her abdomen and she looked at him. As he raised the bed for her, he smiled. "There are two very hungry little girls who want to see their mother."

"They're okay? Really? You're absolutely sure?"

Nodding, Kevin gestured to Colleen, who was holding them. "See for yourself."

Taking one of them, he handed her to Lucy, who was already crying before she even had the baby in her arms.

"Doc, she's beautiful." Not trying to stop her tears, Lucy opened the blanket and inspected every inch of her daughter. After a moment, Kevin took the other baby from Colleen and traded with Lucy. Again, Lucy had to examine her baby, but this time she looked up at Kevin and the scene made her stop and bite her lip.

Holding the baby in his arms, Kevin was staring at her as if she were the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on. His fingers traced the small fingers as they balled up in tiny fists, and he unconsciously began to rock gently back and forth. It was THE picture that Lucy had in her imagination ever since the day she'd told him she was pregnant back in 1997. The one that she'd seen a million times in her dreams, and she knew this was meant to be. For all four of them.

The baby in her arms began to squirm and a few short cries escaped her throat.

"She's hungry." Colleen approached Lucy from the other side of the bed. "They cover this in Lamaze, you think you can handle it?"

Laughing, Lucy nodded. "I only breastfed Serena for a week, but I remember every single second of it." Shrugging out of the side of her hospital gown, Lucy guided the baby to her breast.

"Looks to me like you've already got the hang of it." Smiling, Colleen pointed to the call button. "Call me if you need anything."

"I've got everything I need, but thanks." Lucy nodded, but her eyes never left the baby in her arms.

Kevin finally tore his eyes from the baby in his arms and looked at Lucy. Slowly, he sat on the side of the bed. For a while, they sat and watched the baby feed in silence. When she was finished, Lucy put her to her shoulder and patted her back gently. Kevin handed her a small blanket he'd purchased in the gift shop and she smiled.

"Already out shopping for them?"

"Guilty." He smiled.

"Tell you what. You can do this, let's trade." She took the other baby in her arms, and Kevin lifted the one that had just been fed to his shoulder.

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

Laughing, Lucy pointed to the blanket. "Put that between her and your shirt. Just warning you."

"Okay, now what?"

"Just pat her back. Gently." He was awkward, and she laughed harder. "A little harder then that, Doc. She needs to burp."

As Lucy fed the other baby, Kevin became more accustomed to the feel of the one he was trying to burp. Finally the baby's body twitched a bit in his arms and she spit up a little on the blanket.

"First lesson learned and will be remembered." His voice was low.

"What's that?"

"Double the blanket." Their eyes met and they both laughed.

"I warned you."

As he shifted the baby to his arms, Lucy looked at the wet spot on his shoulder. "It will come out."

"I don't care. No, I do. I love it." Gently he tucked the blanket around the baby he was holding, and looked at Lucy. "We do need to talk."

"I know."

"They asked me about names, and I didn't want to say anything before we talked."

"Ryan showing up..... like he did changes things, doesn't it."

"Not for me." Kevin quickly responded and reached for her face. "As far as I'm concerned, I AM their father, and I will do anything to protect them. And you."

"Then I guess their name is Collins." Lucy leaned her face into his hand.

"How about their mother?"

"What?" Stopping, Lucy leaned away.

"You heard me. I want their name to be Collins, but I want your name to be Coe-Collins. In our hearts, we ARE a family, Lucy. I want to tell the world. Marry me."

Staring at him in shock, Lucy bit her lip.

"You don't want to-"Kevin started to speak.

"I didn't say that."

"No, but you didn't say anything. That's kind of a hint, coming from you."

"Doc, I love you. You know that. But right now, the ONLY thing I want to think about is them." He looked away, and she continued quickly. "I'm not saying no. Really, I'm not. I'm just so.... Overwhelmed right now. Can you understand that?" Her eyes pleaded with him, and he smiled.

"Yes, I can definitely understand that. Okay, let's work on their names right now, and yours later. Deal?"

Nodding, she stared at the baby in his arms. "Victoria Lynn Collins."

He stopped and looked at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I mean, Victor IS your father, and he's the closest thing to a father I've ever had, and we can't exactly name a girl Victor, so it makes sense that we name her Victoria. And I like the sound of Victoria Lynn. Don't you?"

After mentally following everything she'd said, he smiled. "I love it. And her sister?"

"What's going through your mind?"

Kevin opened his mouth, but nothing came out, and he smiled. "I had about a hundred go through my mind, but I can't think of one right now."

"I need input here, Doc."

Staring at the baby Lucy was feeding, he sighed. "What about the obvious? Dominique."

Lucy looked at the baby thoughtfully. "Middle name. How about a first name?"

"Heather?"

"No!" It came out sharp and Kevin looked at her. "Scott's ex girlfriend before me, I mean before me the first time, was named Heather. She caused as much trouble as I did, and I really don't think naming her after someone really, really good and someone really, really bad would be-"

"I get it, Lucy." Smiling, he stared at the baby's face for a moment. "Melissa?"

Lucy thought about it for a moment. "Marissa. It means the perfect one."

"Marissa Dominique Collins." They smiled at each other and Kevin nodded. "I like it."

"Me, too." Lucy shifted Marissa to her shoulder and patted her back gently.

After a moment, Kevin looked at her intently.

"What's on your mind?"

"I want to talk to you about....." He hesitated.

"What?" Reaching for his hand, she squeezed it. "Just say it."

"You haven't finished the nursery, yet."

"I haven't even really started it. I mean, I really thought I had a few more weeks, and the smell of paint and all that was NOT having a good effect on me, and...." Her voice trailed off and she looked at him. "Why do I get the feeling there's more to your point than the nursery?"

She went back to burping the baby, and Kevin moved closer to her. "I want to take MY family home."

"Okay. We'll need to get car seats, and-"

"No, that's not what I'm talking about. I mean HOME, Lucy. To the lighthouse, where all three of you belong."

Her jaw literally dropped and she stared at him.

"I can't tell from that. What are you thinking?"

She opened her mouth to speak, and hesitated.

"I've been thinking about this. I'll take Victor's room and set it up for all three of you. Two cribs, and you can sleep in there with them as long as you want to." Reaching for her, he touched her face gently. "I'm not talking about putting pressure on you, Lucy. I'm talking about taking our daughters home together and working together to take care of them."

"You're also talking about protecting us, aren't you." It wasn't a question, and she took his silence as confirmation. "Ryan is locked up, Doc. He's in a cell again, where he belongs."

"He's been locked up before, Lucy. I don't trust the system to keep him there." Admitting it, Kevin held Victoria tighter. "That's part of it, but the biggest part is that I feel like you belong there."

Thinking about it for a long moment, Lucy sighed. "I feel it, too. I don't want to do this alone."

Smiling, he reached over and took her hand. "This is right, Lucy. We both know it."

"This isn't just about feeling right, Doc. This is about them." She gestured to the babies in their arms. "We need to be sure about this before we do it. I'm not going to move them around every time we have a fight. I'm not keeping diaper bags packed for the next time you decide to throw me out." As Kevin shook his head, tears came to her eyes but she continued. "Don't. Don't say it won't happen. You promised me that before. I'm not saying you don't mean it, but you meant it when you wanted to marry me before. What if I can't live up to your standards, Doc? What happens to them the next time I screw up?"

"Lucy, I can't promise you a tranquil life with no conflicts. But I can promise you that I'll never walk away again. I was the one that gave up on us, you didn't. You fought for what you knew in your heart was right. What we have right here is worth fighting for. We have the chance to have the family that we've both dreamed of having. Don't throw it away because I was an unforgiving son of a bitch."

Shocked, Lucy stared at him for a moment. Finally, she tried to talk. "I don't know what to say, here, Doc. You know I love you. And I do believe you love me. But I can't just forget how much you hurt me." A look of pain crossed his face, and she continued. "I need time for this. Right now I just want to take my babies home and be a mother." He looked so disappointed that she reached for his hand. "I want them to have their Daddy, too. I guess I'm asking you if can you have our room ready in two days?"

Shifting Victoria in his arms, Kevin leaned over to Lucy and hugged her.

**-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --**

* * *

Ryan sat across from his attorney and sighed. "What can I do? She had my babies, I delivered them, I saved their lives."

Stan Hopkins leaned back in his chair and sighed. "You have rights. Even in here, you have rights as their father. But from what you've told me, your brother is claiming that he's the father, not you."

"He's trying to take them away from me."

"Mr. Chamberlain, I can get a court order to submit the babies to a paternity test, but the fact that you and Dr. Collins are twins makes this a lot more difficult."

"The test will say that I'm the father." Ryan insisted.

"And the same test will say that he's the father."

"No!" Ryan shook his head. "We need what they call an RFLP test. It breaks down the DNA to the point that even identical twins will have a distinct pattern. From that we should be able to tell who the real father is."

"Which means forcing him to submit to the test as well. That could be the problem, legally."

"So what can we do?"

"We can force a standard DNA test and have you named as the father, but then I'm sure they'll fight it." Stan thought about it for a moment. "Is there any chance the mother will press charges? I mean, you DID impersonate your brother to get her in bed."

"She might when she finds out what I'm up to. Can you handle that?"

He nodded. "Probably. All we have to do is make the jury even question her statement that she didn't know who you were. Your best bet might even be to plea to that."

"WHAT?" Ryan tried to stand, but the chains on his wrists that held him to the chair prevented it.

"It's non violent, and I could probably plea it to a misdemeanor. And it forces her to admit that there is a chance you are their father."

"I AM THEIR FATHER." Ryan was adamant. "What about the fact that I'll probably be in here until they graduate from college?"

"You turned yourself in. You need to make a show of wanting to get better. You've also never done any physical harm to the mother. Let me tell you something. I worked a case a few years back. Serial rapist. Broke into the woman's house, tied her up, beat her, and raped her. Also got her pregnant. He has visitation with his child."

"That's sick." Ryan shook his head.

Laughing, Stan stared at him. "How many women have you killed?"

"Bastard." Ryan glared at him.

"You better be glad I am. It would take a bastard to want to fight for your rights as a father with everything in your dossier."

"So what's the first step?" Ryan waited to hear what Stan was planning.


	10. Part 10

Mary opened the door to Lucy's room and peeked in at her.

"I'm awake." Lucy looked at her.

"Well, I have someone out here who is dying to see you and the twins." Opening the door wider, Mary allowed Lucy to see Victor and Serena. Kevin was right behind them and he crossed the room to take Lucy's hand.

"I wasn't going to tell them what we named them until we were all together."

"The suspense is killing me!" Victor approached the bed and hugged Lucy gently.

"Well, your timing is excellent. They're bringing them in a few minutes, and we can have a formal introduction." Lucy smiled at him. "That means waiting a few more minutes."

"MOM!" Serena whined.

"You get up here and give me a real hug."

Climbing on the bed, Serena hugged Lucy.

"Where's your father?"

"He's outside."

"Would somebody get him? I want him to hear this, too."

Turning, Mary went to the hallway to get Scott.

"Can you give me a hint? Please?" Serena batted her eyes at Lucy, who shook her head.

"Nope! It's a surprise."

Entering the room with the twins, Karen smiled at Lucy. "I hear that you're about to fill out a birth certificate."

"Yep." Crossing the room, Kevin checked the bracelet on one of them.

"DOC!"

"Sorry!" He shrugged. "Just checking." Taking the baby from Karen, he took her to Victor and handed her to his father. "I think I can tell them apart, but I have to be sure."

The sight of Victor holding his granddaughter for the first time brought tears to everyone's eyes. "She's absolutely beautiful." His voice was soft, and he touched her hands gently.

"Okay, I'm here!" Scott's voice was soft. "Let's hear them. Moon beam, Harvest, Sunshine,..." His voice trailed off when he saw them.

"Well?" Lucy looked at him.

Crossing the room to her, Scott grabbed her nose playfully. "You did good, Pal."

"You want to hold her?" Lucy gestured to the baby in Karen's arms.

Gently, Scott took the baby and held her. "You got lucky, kid. You look like your mother."

After everyone laughed for a moment, Kevin moved closer to Victor. "We wanted you all here to meet our daughters. Victor, meet Victoria Lynn Collins."

It sunk into Victor, and tears came to his eyes. "Are you sure about this?"  
Lucy and Kevin nodded. "More then sure."

"Well, his hands are full, but mine aren't." Mary moved to Kevin and hugged him. After releasing him, Lucy was next and Mary hugged her tightly. "You know what this means to him, don't you."

Both women started to cry as Lucy nodded. "It means the world to us, too."

"What about this one?" Scott's voice interrupted them.

Lucy smiled at him. "Scott, you're holding Marissa Dominique Collins."

Stopping, Scott stared at Lucy, and for a moment she was afraid he was going to object. Finally, he smiled. "She'd love it, Luce."

"You named her after Mommy?" Serena looked at Lucy.

"We sure did."

"I can't wait till nighttime to tell her star!" As Serena jumped to hug Lucy, she winced as the girl crushed her chest.

Seeing the agony on Lucy's face, Kevin moved to them. "Hey, I named her, too." He pulled Serena gently away from Lucy to hug her. His eyes met Lucy's, and she mouthed the word "Thanks" to him.

Marissa started to fuss in Scott's arms.

"She's already learning." Lucy laughed as Scott handed her over.

"You mean she's already starting to complain like her mother when she's hungry." Scott turned to Kevin. "I guess the best revenge would be to hope they turn out just like their mother." But he was smiling.

"Scott Baldwin, you bite your tongue!" Lucy was laughing.

Sitting next to Lucy on the bed, Kevin shrugged. "Gee, having two girls that are as beautiful, smart, and strong as their mother. I could think of worse things."

"You forgot hyper, bossy, and a total pain in the-"

"Scott!" Her tone was threatening, but she was still laughing.

"Mom is NOT a pain in the butt!" Serena put her hands on her hips.

"Sure she is. That's what friends are for. To REMIND them what a pain they are."

Turning to Lucy, Serena leaned over the baby. "Hello, Marissa Dominique. I'm your big sister."

Lucy's throat tightened, but she smiled at Serena.

Seeing her reaction, Kevin put his arm around her shoulders. "That's right. You're their big sister. That's a lot of responsibility. You have to teach them all about the cool video games, the best movies," He glanced at Lucy questioningly. "the Dixie Chicks?"

"She-Daisy this week." Lucy smiled at him.

"Yeah, and I'll teach you all about boys." Serena grinned.

NO!" Kevin, Lucy, and Scott answered at once.

"They can wait a while before they learn that one." Kevin shrugged. "Like maybe 20 years?"

"You BETTER not be able to teach them about boys for another 20 years yourself." Scott ruffled Serena's hair gently. "Let's get out of here and let Lucy feed them before they start screaming louder then she does." Reaching out, Scott shook Kevin's hand. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, Scott."

Leaning down, Scott kissed Lucy's forehead and hugged her. "They're beautiful, Lucy."

"Thanks."

Kissing Marissa on her forehead, Serena leaned over carefully to hug Lucy. Jumping down, she ran to Victor and kissed Victoria. Then she went to Kevin's side of the bed and he hugged her. As Scott followed her out the door, Lucy called him softly.

When Scott turned, Lucy kept her voice low. "We'll be calling you probably in the next couple of days. We're probably going to be needing your help. Legally."

"I heard what happened. I'm already on it."

"Thanks, pal. We're going to have to tell Serena, aren't we."

"It would probably be a good idea." Kevin answered. "There's a good chance it's going to hit the papers, and it's better she hears it from one of the two of you."

"I'll take care of it." Scott nodded. "She'll probably ask you questions, though."

"It's okay. Thanks again."

After Scott was gone, Victor moved closer. "I don't know what to say."

Taking the baby from Victor's arms, Kevin smiled at his father. "There isn't much to say."

"But there is plenty to do." Mary's voice interrupted them. "I know for a fact that there is only half a nursery at the house, and it needs to be finished in the next day or so."

Shaking her head, Lucy glanced at Kevin before continuing. "I'm not going to finish that one just yet."

"What?" Mary stared at her for a moment.

Wrapping his free arm around Lucy's shoulders, Kevin smiled. "Actually, whatever Lucy picked out is going to be just fine. Just not at the cottage. If the two of you could oversee it, Victor's old room at the lighthouse is going to be a nursery."

Victor and Mary grinned at them. "I guess we better get on it." Hugging both of them quickly, Mary turned toward the door. "I'll call the workers and give them the address, then I'll get the furniture moved, and then I'll call you back and get more details."

"Thank you." Lucy smiled at her.

"You just take care of them, and let us take care of the rest." Waiting for Victor to hug Lucy and Kevin, she led him out of the room.

After they were gone, Kevin slid his legs up on the bed, gently pushing Lucy's legs out of his way.

"What are you doing?"

"Move over. You think I'm going home to THAT?"

Laughing, Lucy moved over to give him room next to her.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Alan pushed the door open with his back and entered Lucy's room carrying the twins.

"Since when does the Chief of Staff do baby duty?" Lucy grinned when she saw him.

"Since the favorite ex wife of the Chief of Staff is a new mother." Smiling, Alan handed one of the girls to Lucy and held the other in his arms. "They're beautiful, Lucy."

"Thank you. I think they are." They both laughed. "And thank you for the flowers."

"How can you tell which ones are from me?" He glanced around at the seemingly endless supply of flowers that literally walled the entire room.

"I never knew I had that many friends. But I appreciate all of you."

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Alan sighed. "There's also another reason I'm here. The legal department contacted me this morning."

Not answering, Lucy stared at him.

"I'll help you any way I can, Lucy. But I can't jeopardize the hospital."

"What did the legal department tell you?"

"We received a Declaration of Paternity, requesting that the name Chamberlain be on the birth certificates."

Unconsciously, Lucy held the baby tighter and stared at Alan. "They're name is already Collins."

"I understand that. And I've already had the legal department draw up an identical one for Kevin. The birth certificate isn't enough." Reaching for her hand, Alan stared in her eyes. "And it will be dated yesterday. The same time the birth certificates were signed."

Lucy closed her eyes and sighed. "Alan, I-"

"Don't tell me. I don't want to know what happened. I can't, Lucy. Do you understand that?"

Nodding, she began to cry.

"Hey," Alan's voice was soft and he pulled her and the baby into a hug. "I don't need to know what happened to know this isn't how you wanted it to be. I'm going to help you every way I can. Kevin's a good man, and I hope for all of your sake's you two can work it out this time."

"We will." Kevin's voice interrupted them, but he immediately knew something was wrong. "Something's happened."

"They got a Declaration of Paternity from Ryan."

Moving to sit on the other side of her, Kevin touched her face. "We knew he was going to make a move on them."

"He's really alive." Alan whispered. "I can't believe it."

"Believe it." Kevin stared at him. "And he wants them." Gesturing to the girls, he sighed. "We'll get a hold of Scott and find out what he can and can't do."

"You need to sign a Declaration yourself, Kevin." Alan looked at him. "There isn't much more I can do. But I can file the document with the birth certificates."

"Thanks, Alan." Kevin nodded and turned to Lucy. "I'll do it right now."

"I want to go home." Lucy looked at them.

"Lucy," Kevin wasn't sure she was physically up to it.

"Don't. You're a doctor, and Mary is a nurse. Don't tell me that we can't make sure they're fine in their home." She looked at Alan. "Unless there is something wrong with them that no one has told me."

"No." Alan shook his head. "They're fine. They're lungs are a little underdeveloped, but that won't be a problem after a few weeks."

"What does that mean?" Lucy looked scared.

"All it means is that they need to be monitored. Their oxygen levels. That's the only reason they're not in the room with you. They've been steady." Alan's voice was calm. "I'm just not sure they're ready to go home yet, Lucy. It's safer for them to be here for another couple of days."

"Dr. Newman said I can go home tomorrow. You mean you're going to send me home without them?" She shook her head. "I can't leave them here, Alan. I can't."

The baby in her arms reacted to her and began to squirm in her arms. Taking a deep breath, Lucy patted her gently.

"I'll talk to the doctors and see what we can do." Kevin put his hand on her back and rubbed gently. "She's right, Alan. Between me, Mary, and a few others that we would be more then willing to pay she should be fine to take them home."

"I'll talk to the nurses and see if there are any volunteers." Smiling, Alan stood. "And I'm sure we can get a list of what you might need if there is a problem."

"Really?" Lucy looked at them.

"Really." Taking the baby from Alan, Kevin sat on the side of the bed again with her. "I'll give Mary a call and see how the nursery is coming along."

The babies started to fuss, and Alan smiled. "Sounds to me like they're hungry. I'll get started on getting you out of here."

After Alan left, Kevin looked at Lucy while she fed the baby. After a moment of silence, the baby in his arms started to cry. Shifting, Kevin started to rock her. It didn't work. She only cried louder and Kevin looked at Lucy.

"You're on your own, Doc. I can only feed one at a time." She laughed at the completely lost look on his face as he tried to quiet his daughter.

"We can start alternating them on bottles soon." Lucy tried to give him some hope. "Then we can feed them both at the same time."

"How soon?"

Lucy laughed harder.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Glad to see you up." Victor went to Mary, who had just crawled out from under the blanket on the sofa.

"I'm sorry, Victor."

"No, you were exhausted." Mary had fallen asleep in the sofa while waiting for the painters to finish in the nursery. "Come look." Grinning, Victor pulled her to the door.

Stepping to the doorway, Mary smiled. "Victor, it's perfect. Kevin and Lucy are going to love this."

The room was a light shade of pink with a top border of families of ducks. The bed had been done with a deep burgundy bedding, and the cribs had white bedding with ducks on them to match the border. A small, fully stocked white changing table and a big white rocker at the window completed the bedroom.

"Now we need to go get car seats before we go back to the hospital." Mary smiled at Victor. "They're coming home, Victor."

"I know. And between you and me, I don't think Lucy's going to be able to keep Monk at a distance once she's back home where she belongs."

"Victor!" Mary shook her head. "And my sons accuse me of meddling!"

"What do you think?" Victor smiled at Mary slyly.

Dropping her voice to a conspiratory whisper, she grinned. "I think you're right."

Arm and arm, Mary led Victor to the car.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Hey, Darlin'." Luke stuck his head in the door and smiled at her.

"Hey!" Lucy grinned when she saw him. "Come on in."

"I already checked out the nursery. They're gorgeous." Moving to the bed, Luke hugged her and sat next to her.

"Thanks. You see their names?"

"Yep. Marissa and Victoria Collins." Luke stared at her and shrugged. "Could have been Spencer, but no. You've got a thing for doctors, and I just can't compete with that."

"Just one doctor." Lucy smiled at him. "I can't begin to thank you. For everything."

"For what? The guys screwed up, Luce. He got close to you."

"It wasn't their fault, Luke. I don't think they really understood what they were up against. He showed them Kevin's ID and they thought they did their job. Do I need to remind you that he fooled me, too?"

"No. Don't remind yourself." Luke took her hand. "What's going on there?"

"He's filed a Declaration of Paternity. He turned himself in to fight for them, Luke." She was near tears. "I guess it's better then waiting for him to try to grab them...." Her voice trailed off and she shrugged. "Not much better, but I'm not jumping at every sound."

"I wish there was something I could do." Luke shook his head. "If I'd been there...."

"I'd be here, but you'd probably be in jail." She sighed. "What am I supposed to say? He delivered one, and he saved both of their lives, Luke."

"No." His voice was soft, but he was stressing a point. "I don't care what he did, Luce. You still know what he is."

"I know. I do. Really. But I saw his face when he held them. He doesn't want to hurt them."

"He just wants to be their Daddy. That's all, right?" Luke stared at her.

"I know. He's dangerous. I know that."

"But...."

"No but." Taking a deep breath, she looked at Luke. "You wouldn't happen to know how to switch a paternity test, would you?"

Luke started laughing. "I have many talents, some of which you'll never even HEAR about. But that's a new one for me."

"I know. It was worth a shot, though."

They were still laughing when Kevin entered the room with a wheelchair. "I miss something?"

"We were just discussing....." Lucy looked at Luke.

"Talents." They both began to laugh again.

"Should I be glad I missed it?" Kevin stared at them strangely.

"Yep." Lucy smiled at him. "Does that chair mean what I think it means?"

"It means we're going home." Moving the chair to the side of her bed, he handed her a bag. "I had a feeling you'd want something new to go home in."

Luke laughed. "I thought she ALWAYS wanted something new."

"Yep." Agreeing with Luke, Lucy looked in the bag.

"I guess that's my clue to get going. I'll come by in a few days to see how you're doing." Kissing Lucy's forehead, Luke moved to the door, shaking Kevin's hand on the way.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Victor and Mary met them at the driveway to the lighthouse. Reaching into the back of Kevin's car, they each took one of the babies. Opening the Lucy's door, Kevin waited for her to stand up.

As she stood, Lucy winced.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just sore. I think that's normal, Doc." Taking his hand, she walked to the door slowly. "Okay, REALLY sore."

"I wasn't sure you were ready for this."

"I'm ready to be home! I'm just not ready to walk the mall yet." She inhaled sharply. "Give me another two days for that."

"I'll hold you to that." Kevin smiled and moved her across the living room. "You ready?"

Victor and Mary were waiting for her to see the nursery.

"I'm ready." When she reached the doorway, she stopped. "It's...." Tears came and she couldn't talk for a moment.

"You want to put them in their cribs?" Mary looked at Lucy and moved closer.

Still crying, Lucy nodded. Taking Victoria from Mary, Lucy moved slowly to the crib. "Don't just stand there, Doc. Marissa needs to be put down, too."

Smiling, Kevin took Marissa from Victor and put her in her crib as Lucy tucked the blanket around Victoria. When he turned to Lucy, he realized she was hanging on the crib to stay on her feet. "You need to lay down, too."

"I'm fine." She sighed. "I just love to look at them."

Putting his arm around her shoulders, Kevin whispered to her. "They're beautiful." Gently, he pulled her towards the bed. "Come on. Getting you home was on the condition that you rested."

"Okay." She pretended to pout at him.

"None of that, young lady." Mary's voice took on a cross between a stern nurse and a scolding mother. "You're right where you want to be, so you just do what you're supposed to do."

Laughing, Lucy allowed Kevin to help her to the bed and tenderly sat on it.

He kneeled in front of her and smiled. "I guess it's time for me to show you the rest of what we got you."

"Another surprise?" Her eyes lit up as they met his. "You know how much I love surprises."

"Yes, I do." Laughing, Kevin reached under the bed and pulled out a box.

She took the box and pulled it open. Inside were four matching sets of satin pajamas, with color coordinated cotton baby blankets, underwear, and nursing bras.

"Where did you find these? I thought they only came in white." She touched the bras.

"Mary dyed them for you." Kevin was stunned at her reaction.

Lucy stopped when she realized how much time and love had gone into it for her.

Unable to see her face, Mary moved closer. "It's not really healthy, you'll have to make sure you keep the pads..." Her voice died out when she realized Lucy's shoulders were shaking. "Honey, what's wrong?"

Lucy was crying so hard she could barely speak. "I... I've never had.... I can't believe you'd all do this for me."

Sitting next to her, Mary put her arm around her shoulders. "Why are you still so surprised? After all this time you still don't believe we all love you?"

"Well..." Lucy took a deep breath. "I knew everybody wanted to help with the twins. I mean, this was all for them." She waved around the room. "But this.... This is just for me."

Sighing, Mary looked at Kevin. "Lucy, this wasn't all just for them. You're part of the family, and I for one am very glad you are."

Unable to speak, Lucy nodded at Mary. Finally she took a deep breath and whispered. "Me, too." Wincing, Lucy shifted and Mary stood.

"NO arguments out of you. You get into one of those nightgowns and get into bed."

Laughing at the tone of Mary's voice, Lucy nodded. "Okay, okay. I will."

"Gentlemen?" Mary gestured towards the door.

Victor and Kevin stood. "We can take a hint." Kevin laughed and moved towards the door.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Hello?" Holding the phone to her ear, Lucy tried to will herself awake. The phone ringing had actually startled her for a moment. There was no one on the other end, and she sighed before she heard another ring. It actually took her a moment to realize that the ringing was coming from her purse on the nightstand. Reaching for it, she pulled her cell out and answered it. "Hello?"

"Lucy?"

Instantly, Lucy's eyes flew open and she started to sit up. "Ow." Taking a deep breath, she laid back down.

"You okay? What happened?" Ryan's voice sounded concerned on the other end.

"I sat up too fast." She took a few deep breaths. "What do you want?"

"Do I have to guess where you are?" Ryan's laughter was soft. "I'm guessing that Kevin isn't going to let them out of his sight. The big bad twin might tell the world who their father really is."

"Kevin is their father." Lucy tried to sound convincing.

"A piece of paper with his name on it does NOT make him their father, Lucy!" Shouting for a moment, Ryan sighed. "I didn't call to argue with you."

Lucy waited for him to speak.

"How are they, Lucy?"

"They're fine."

"DON'T DO THAT!" Ryan screamed again. "I was there, remember? They were premature. How are they?"

"They're fine, Ryan. Really. We have monitors for their oxygen levels because their lungs aren't fully developed yet. But other then that, they really are fine."

As if they knew Lucy was talking about them, Victoria began to cry.

The sound of the baby's cries over the phone brought tears to Ryan's eyes and his voice was shaking. "That's one of them. She sounds strong."

"I have to go. She's hungry."

"Wait! I want to hear her for a little bit longer. Lucy, please."

The sound of him begging surprised her, and she continued to hold the phone as she slid to the side of the bed. As she sat up, the bedroom door opened and Kevin entered.

"She okay?" Kevin looked at Lucy, and the expression on her face told him something was wrong.

"Tell him to go away, Lucy! I want to hear MY daughter!" Ryan began to shout and Lucy put her finger to her lips in a sign to Kevin to be quiet.

"Okay. He's gone. But I need to go. She's crying, Ryan. You can hear her. I need to go take care of her."

"You go do that. Just remember, Lucy. They're mine and I'm going to fight for them."

The line went dead and Lucy put the phone on the nightstand as Kevin handed her the baby. "What are we going to do, Doc? We're not going to convince him that they're not his."

"We call Scott and get his phone privileges cut."

Feeding Victoria, Lucy kept her voice quiet. "I'm not sure that's the way to go."

"WHAT?!" Seeing her jump, Kevin lowered his voice. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that pissing him off might not be the smart way to handle him." Lucy sighed. "He's not out of control at the moment. Do we really want to set him off?"

When Kevin continued to stare at her, she sighed. "We both know what he's capable of. But he didn't. He could have killed me and taken them. He didn't. Whatever he's planning, we'll be able to see it coming this way. He told me that he was going to claim them. That he was going to be a responsible parent."

"And you think that means....." Kevin was waiting to see what she had on her mind.

"I don't know what that means. But I do know that as long as he's rational and genuinely worried about them he's not going to try to hurt them. Which is why I'm just saying that until we can get a clue of what he's planning, taking the offensive isn't the best way to handle him."

"So now you're an expert on Ryan?" Kevin's voice was sarcastic.

""Well, gee, I don't know, Doc. I spent three days with him and I lived to tell about it. He could have killed me and dumped me on your doorstep. But he didn't. I gave him every opportunity to do anything he wanted to do to me, and he didn't."

"No, he just wanted to have sex with you. That's all. No big deal, right?" He shouted, but the look on her face made Kevin instantly regret his words. "I'm sorry."

Before Lucy could answer him, Marissa began to cry.

Sighing, Kevin picked Marissa up out of her crib and sat on the bed next to Lucy. Her eyes were still glued to Victoria. "I'm really sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. You're right. As usual."

Her voice betrayed how much he'd hurt her feelings. "Lucy, I wasn't trying to be right."

"But you are. I gave him what he wanted. Ryan played me, and I believed every word he said to me."

Now Kevin's eyes dropped, and he really didn't want to hear her say it.

"Let me tell you something, Doc. What ever I had to go through, the lies, being with Ryan, thinking he was you, all of it. I have them." She gestured to Victoria and Marissa. "And I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. I'm sorry he's their father for their sakes, but as far as I'm concerned, you're right. Having sex with him in order to have them?" She shrugged. "No big deal."

He knew what she was saying, but it still sent a wave of rage through him to think of Ryan touching her. "It IS a big deal!" He struggled to keep his voice low. "I want you to promise me that you will NEVER say he's their father again."

Finally looking at his face, Lucy knew how much her words had bothered him. But it was true. "Kevin, to us this is what's best for them. I want to know what it is to him. We need to trade."

Not saying anything, Kevin handed Marissa to her and took Victoria and burped her gently. Finally he spoke quietly. "What do you think it is to him?"

"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Is this about them? Or you? Or me?" Lucy sighed. "That's what we need to know before we go poking him with a stick. Is this really about Ryan wanting to claim the twins, or is this about him just wanting to hurt either of us."

Suddenly, Kevin realized what she was saying, and he couldn't answer the question. "How do you propose to find out?"

"I have to go see him."

"NO!" He shouted again, and Victoria began to cry.

"You really need to stop that." Lucy smiled at him.

"I'm trying. But you are NOT going to see Ryan."

"He's in Ferncliff. He can't hurt me."

"I don't care. I don't want you anywhere near him."

"Well, I can't get any nearer to him then I've already been." She sighed. "That came out wrong, but you know what I mean. He's not going to hurt me."

"You're a lot more sure of that then I am."

"Face it, Doc. IF Ryan wanted to kill me, I'd be in a grave somewhere. You know that. He would have strangled me and dumped my body somewhere out on the island in some unmarked grave where you would have never found me. Or maybe even-"

"Lucy!" Kevin winced. "Can we NOT follow this train of thought?"

"It is kind of creepy." She agreed with him. "But he didn't do it. Even if he wanted to now, he wouldn't get the chance. I need to see him."

"No." This time he kept his voice soft, but he was still insistent.

"This has nothing to do with you."

"Oh, I don't know, Lucy. My twin brother, who is supposed to be dead, shows up and impersonates me to get the woman I love pregnant? I don't know, I may not be as much of an expert as I think I am. I tend to think that has EVERYTHING to do with me."

"That did. But this doesn't." Lucy shook her head. "He didn't know I was going to get pregnant. And I was just as shocked that it happened. But once he found out, I honestly believe it became about Victoria and Marissa."

"And what do you plan to say to him? IF I let you go see him."

"IF you LET me?" Shaking her head, Lucy took a breath to calm down. "To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to wonder what this is about where YOU'RE concerned."

"What does that mean?"

"It means are you just being overprotective of me? Or are you letting your testosterone run away with you and being territorial?"

"This has NOTHING to do with testosterone, Lucy. This has to do with the fact that my brother KILLS WOMEN FOR FUN."

"He didn't kill me! And he won't, unless I do something stupid and piss him off before I find out what he's really after."

Kevin realized that he wasn't going to be able to talk her out of seeing Ryan. But he also knew that he had a few weeks before she'd be physically up to it and it gave him time to talk to her. "Okay. Let's stop this for today."

"It's not over."

"I know that. But for today, it is, okay?"

Finally, Lucy smiled. "For today." Marissa finished eating and Lucy moved her up to burp her. "There is something we need to do today."

"And what is that?" Kevin returned her smile, but he was wary.

"Don't look so paranoid. We get to give them their first real baths today."

This time when Kevin smiled, it was broad and relaxed. "That sounds like a great plan."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"They moved quicker. He's the legal father." Stan continued before Ryan could interrupt. "It just means that the judge has to issue an order to change the birth certificates. We'll get it done. But it's going to take a few days to push the order for the DNA test. I've done some homework on the RFLP test. It's very involved, and it takes longer. We're going to start with the standard DNA test. Once the results come back that there's a 99 chance that you're the father, the mother will have a few choices."

"Which are?"

"Well, she can let the judge order the change."

In spite of the circumstances, Ryan laughed. "You have no idea who the mother is, do you. Lucy Coe will NEVER give up that easily. What are her other choices?"

"She could press charges against you. A whole slew of things that they'll start out with that I can get bumped to a few misdemeanors. Or your brother will get his lawyer to demand a DNA test that will prove 99 accuracy for him as well. Judge will order the RFLP test you were talking about."

"And if Lucy refuses?"

"Contempt of court charges."

"She goes to jail?" Ryan sat up straighter and stared at him.

"She could. You really think she'd go that far?"

Sighing, Ryan nodded. "She thinks I'm the worst thing that ever happened to her. Well, I might be. But she also believes she's doing what's best for them, and if it meant she'd go to jail, I think she'd do it." He shook his head. "I don't want her to go to jail."

Stan was surprised. "You still care about her?"

Ryan wasn't about to admit it to Stan, but he really didn't want her in jail because she thought she was protecting her babies. "Keep in mind, what happens to them if she's in jail? KEVIN gets them all to himself."

Stan looked at Ryan for a moment. "There is one big thing we haven't discussed. I mean, getting you named as the father if you are isn't going to be a big problem. It's going to take time, but if you're right it won't be that hard. But what comes next? I mean, it's not like I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting you out of here. At least not anytime soon. So what's next after you prove their yours?"  
Ryan stared at Stan, and the lawyer realized that Ryan really hadn't planned past being named the father.

"As long as I am part of their lives, I'll do whatever I have to do to be there for them."

Standing, Stan nodded. "I'll get started on this. You do need to remember one thing. I'm not saying this to get on your bad side, but it's a fact. I can get the birth certificates changed. I can force the mother to bring them here to see you. I can get you parental rights. But I can't change the fact that you're in here and your brother is out there. With them. I can take any parental rights he may think he has, but I can't block him from their lives completely. Especially if everything you've told me is right and he'll end up being their stepfather eventually. I can't stop the mother from marrying him."

Leaving Ryan to his thoughts, Stan knocked on the door and left the room.

Alone, Ryan stared at the walls. His mind was going a million miles a minute, and he couldn't begin to put together two of the thoughts running through it. Kevin was out there. Kevin was with Lucy. Kevin was being a father to his twins. His mind tried to picture what the girls looked like, but it had been several days, and he was sure they'd changed so much that anything his imagination could produce wouldn't be close to the truth. But he could picture what Lucy looked like. He remembered every inch of her. She was at the lighthouse giving his babies to Kevin. Giving herself to Kevin. An image of Lucy making love to Kevin went through his head.

"DAMN HIM!" The rage coursed through his veins and he jerked his arms towards the table. Even with the chains holding him, he managed to knock the table over, and suddenly his mind went white with pain. He didn't know if he heard or only felt the sharp crack that accompanied the bone in his wrist breaking, and he didn't care. The pain was sharp, and it cleared his head.

The door opened and two guards rushed inside. "What the hell happened?" They both stared at Ryan, who only shrugged.

"Nothing that you would understand." His wrist was already beginning to swell around the chains. "Well, I think you can understand there's a chance my wrist is broken."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Lucy opened her eyes and rolled over. The sight of both cribs being empty sent a moment of panic through her, and she sat up quickly. Ignoring the protests from her muscles, she got to her feet and left the bedroom.

"I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all day." Kevin's voice was soft, and Lucy realized that he and Colleen were standing next to the bassinets and playing with the girls.

"I think I already slept through enough of it." She moved to them and smiled at Colleen. "How have you been?"

"I've been fine. I came by to see how you were." Victoria started to fuss a bit and Colleen waved the stuffed duck in front of her. "I checked them out, their oxygen levels are perfect, and I think by the time you take them for a checkup, you'll be able to get rid of some of the equipment."

"Thank you. I really appreciate you all coming here to check on them." Lucy watched Victoria grab at the toy in Colleen's hand.

"Are you kidding? Lucy, you have done so much for the entire nursing staff at General Hospital, I actually had to argue to get my turn." She laughed. "I love this. Checking them out is a lot more fun when they're healthy. Then I get to play with them."

"But home care isn't exactly in your job descriptions."

"I offered to pay them." Kevin interrupted Lucy. "None of them would take a dime from us." Marissa began to fuss and he reached down and played with her hands.

"There isn't one nurse on staff that hasn't benefited in some way from something you've done for GH." Colleen shrugged. "So when Alan came to us and asked for volunteers to come by and check on them, Mary had to start making a list." She laughed. "Victor threatened her with something that he called a....." She searched for the word. "A yarn chart."

Lucy and Kevin both laughed.

"I didn't get it, but Mary looked like she was about to panic."

"You had to be there." Lucy and Kevin answered at the same time.

"But this is the best part of the job for me. Whether they're in the hospital or at home." Victoria seemed content with Colleen's attention, but Kevin was beginning to lose the battle with Marissa and she started to actually cry. Lifting her, Kevin turned to Lucy. "I think she's hungry. Victoria took her bottle fine, but Marissa just fussed."

"She wants her mommy." Colleen gently grabbed her feet while Kevin held her. "I'd say that Marissa is definitely going to be a mommy's girl."

"She wouldn't take a bottle last night either." Lucy took her from Kevin and bounced her gently in her arms.

"Victoria was just fine." Kevin shrugged. "But this little girl is already developing Lucy's temperament." They all laughed.

"She wants the real thing when she wants it." Colleen laughed. "Sounds like you're already teaching her right to me."

Lucy and Colleen laughed, while Kevin tried to share in their amusement, but didn't quite get it.

"It's a woman thing." Colleen tried to explain to Kevin.

"Oh. I thought it was just a Lucy thing."

Lucy glared at Kevin, but she was smiling.

Having everyone's attention diverted from her did not make Victoria happy and she began to fuss again. Colleen laughed and moved the stuffed duck in front of her again. "I love this part of it. Even at a two weeks old, their personalities are different."

As Colleen continued to play with Victoria, she completely missed the effect her words had on Kevin and Lucy. As both of their minds went to Ryan, their eyes met and Lucy replied. "They're two completely different people."

"Yep." Lifting Victoria into her arms, Colleen continued. "You wouldn't believe how many people expect twins to be the same because they look..." Her words trailed off and she looked at Kevin. "You would, wouldn't you. I'm sorry, Kevin, I didn't think about it."

"Don't worry about it. You're right. I had people I'd never laid eyes on before screaming at me. A few actually took a swing at me because of Ryan."

"It's good, though." Colleen shrugged. "I mean, you don't have those kinds of expectations of them. You won't compare them to each other the way most parents of twins do." Sitting down, she placed Victoria on her lap and played with her hands.

As she nursed Marissa, Lucy thought about Colleen's words. "In a way we already are, aren't we." It wasn't a question, and Kevin stared at her. "I mean, you just said that Victoria took her bottle, but Marissa wouldn't. I don't want them to feel like they have to compete with each other, Doc."

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant that Victoria ate, and you had to nurse Marissa. Just like when you tried to feed them in the middle of the night, Victoria didn't want to nurse. She wanted her bottle."

"Well, that's normal-"Lucy began, but Kevin cut her off laughing.

"You didn't think that last night. You were convinced that Victoria didn't love you."

"I'm hormonal." Lucy whined at looked at Colleen. "At 4AM things take on a really different meaning. I was upset because Victoria wanted her bottle, not me."

"Upset." Kevin looked at her, them turned to Colleen. "How about 'she's only a week old and she already knows what a horrible mother I am'. It took almost an hour to feed Victoria because I had to keep trying to convince Lucy that Victoria wanting a bottle didn't mean she didn't love her."

Smiling sweetly, Lucy turned to Colleen. "Would you burp Marissa while I beat her Daddy?"

Colleen started to laugh, but thought better of it when she realized how close she was sitting to Lucy. "Sorry. But it is normal for a baby to be fussy about going back and forth between nursing and a bottle. That wives tale about switching back and forth easily is just that. A wives tale." Then she turned to Kevin. "But, it's also normal to be overemotional when it comes to being a new mother. She is hormonal. YOU should know that, DOCTOR."

"Actually, no more then normal. For Lucy, that is." He grinned wickedly at Lucy, then looked at Colleen. "I figure I have a couple more weeks before I'll have to actually run from her."

"And god help you if she catches you." Laughing, Colleen shook her head. "I have a feeling you will pay for all of it at once."

Marissa finished nursing, and Lucy transferred her to her shoulder. "I just realized that we do tend to compare them. And we need to stop. NOW. Before they begin to understand what we're saying."

Before Kevin could answer, someone knocked at the door. Going to it, Kevin found a man he'd never seen before standing there.

"I'm looking for Lucy Coe."

"Can I help you?" Kevin's voice took on an edge, and he stepped into the doorway to block his view of the living room.

"I'm supposed to deliver this to Ms. Coe. Can you accept it for her?"

"Yes." Warily, Kevin took the envelope and the man turned away before Kevin could ask any questions. Shutting the door, he held up the envelope for her to see.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. He just handed it to me and...." Kevin thought about it for a moment before literally tearing the envelope open. His eyes scanned the paper inside and he sighed.

"I'm not going to like this, am I." Lucy shook her head. "Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

Going to the coffee table, Kevin sat on it and looked at Lucy. "Court order. For a DNA test."

Colleen suddenly felt like she was intruding. "I'll get going if you-"

"No." Lucy shook her head. "Most of the story has already hit the papers. It's not like I can keep it secret anymore." She sighed. "Ryan thinks he's their father and he wants a DNA test."

"I heard that he delivered them. I don't want to pry, but I did wonder how that happened. He... he really could be their father?"

Lucy bit her lip.

"I'm sorry. Nevermind. It's none of my business."

"It's not that." Lucy looked at Kevin for a moment before saying more. "It's possible. Physically. But it's just as possible that Kevin is their father. That's what I choose to believe and that's what I want them to grow up knowing."

"It doesn't make sense." Kevin and Lucy both stared at Colleen for a moment. "No, I didn't mean it... that wasn't what I was saying. I'm saying that what does he hope to accomplish? I mean he's never going to be free, right?"

"Right." Kevin answered.

"So what would he hope to accomplish by stirring this up?"

"He would accomplish taking them away from me." Kevin's tone grew angrier.

"Not really." Colleen reacted to Victoria's cooing by taking her hands and moving them gently. "They're here. With you. He can't change that."

Looking at Kevin, Lucy nodded. "That's what I want to get across to Ryan."

"We're not going to discuss you seeing him again, are we?" Kevin looked at her, and she shook her head.

"No. We're not."

After an awkward moment of silence, Colleen turned to Lucy. "We've been checking up on them, what about you?"

"Me? Oh, I'm fine." Lucy shrugged.

"You look pale."

"Tired. I think that was the longest I've slept since we came home." Lucy shrugged.

"You have circles under your eyes from being tired. But you look really pale, Lucy." Colleen thought about it for a moment. "How's the bleeding?"

"Getting better. But I know that's normal, too."

"What are you thinking?" Kevin stared at Colleen.

"I'm thinking maybe we should draw some of her blood and get an iron count. She's too pale, and she looks exhausted. I mean, most new mothers do, but with her normal energy level, I'd expect her to be a little more awake then she is."

Nodding, Kevin looked at Lucy, but directed his comments to Colleen. "I think you might be right. Can't hurt. And if her iron count is that low-"

"Hey, I'm right here. Can you both talk TO me instead of ABOUT me?" Lucy stared at them.

They both laughed, and Kevin reached for her knees. "Well, do I have to repeat everything, or were you eavesdropping?"

With her free hand, she smacked his hand. "I heard. You both think my iron count is low. Okay, what does that mean?"

"It just means you're tired." Colleen shrugged. "Nothing to really worry about. I'll draw some blood and let Dr. Newman get the results. Odds are she'll just order some iron pills for you. You'll be more awake. You still taking the prenatal vitamins?"

Lucy shook her head.

"You should probably continue to take them. Nursing twins is almost as taxing on your body as carrying them."

Nodding, Lucy looked at Kevin. "All I've really thought about is how sore I am."

"Talk to Mary. She's got this...." Colleen laughed for a minute. "It sounds funny, I know it does, but it really works. Cabbage leaves."

"What?" Lucy stared at her.

"I'm serious. Ask her. It's some old recipe that she knows about. And I've heard mothers that have tried it and would swear by it."

"Okay." Lucy didn't look sure, but Kevin stood.

"I'll call her and ask her."

As Kevin moved to the phone, Lucy sat Marissa on her lap and bounced her gently.

"I love to see them every few days at this stage. They change every day." Colleen lifted Victoria and they held the girls side by side.

Victoria turned towards the sound of Kevin's voice as he talked to Mary, while Marissa looked at Lucy and cooed at her.

"Yep. Definitely a mommy's girl." Colleen laughed.

"Yes she it." Lucy talked to her daughter and lifted her in the air. "She's a mommy's girl." As Lucy held Marissa against her, Colleen stood with Victoria.

"This little girl is in need of a fresh diaper."

"I'll do it. You can take her." Lucy offered to trade.

"It's okay. I'll be right back."

As Colleen took Victoria into the bedroom, Lucy stared down at Marissa. She was so intently watching the baby's tiny movements that when Kevin put his hand on her shoulder, she jumped.

"Sorry." He squeezed her shoulders gently.

Sighing, Lucy tilted her head back. "That feels good."

Smiling, Kevin dug his fingers into the muscles at the base of her neck.

"You have three days to stop that." Lucy sighed again, and they both laughed.

"Lucy?" Colleen reappeared with Victoria. "She's about to fall asleep. You want her in the bassinet out there or in the crib?"

"Crib is fine." Moving around Lucy, Kevin took Marissa out of her arms. "I think as soon as you finish with Lucy, she'll be asleep, too."

Lucy didn't argue, which told Kevin a lot. "I'm going to go put her down. Tell Nancy to call me as soon as she has the results of Lucy's blood work."

"Okay." Turning, Colleen headed back into the bedroom to put Victoria down in her crib.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Ryan looked at the soft cast on his wrist and shook his head. The doctor had offered him something for the pain, but Ryan welcomed it. It cleared his head and made him concentrate on what was important. The twins. Definitely NOT Lucy.

A thought occurred to him and he smiled. It was time to deal with another one of his demons. It took a few minutes for the guards to make the arrangements, but he soon had a phone in his hand.

It rang a few times before he heard the voice at the other end. "Hello?"

"Victor?"

"Monk?" Victor sounded happy to hear his voice. Ryan shook his head. Not his voice. Kevin's.

"Wrong again."

The other end was quiet for a moment. "Ryan."

"Second time's a charm." Smiling, he tried to stop the pounding in his head from the anger building.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to congratulate you, Grandpa. Twins. Aren't you proud?"

"Why do you want to hurt them, Ryan?" Victor was almost pleading with Ryan for the answer.

"HURT THEM!" His voice rose, but he realized that the guards would return and take the phone away if he continued. Grimacing, he slammed his freshly broken wrist on the wall. Instantly the pain shot through his arm and his head cleared. "I don't want to hurt them. I'm their father, and I'm NOT going to abandon them. I'm not you, Victor. I'm not going to just walk, no make that run, away from them."

"Is that what this is about? You want to prove you're a better father then I was?" Closing his eyes, Victor searched for the words to say to Ryan. "That wouldn't be hard, son."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! I WAS NEVER YOUR SON. I WAS HER SON AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"That was my fault, Ryan. Not Kevin's, and certainly not the girl's fault."

The guards appeared and Ryan smiled at them. "Family squabbles. I'm sure you understand that." They didn't look convinced, but Ryan made sure to keep his voice down for the next exchange. "I'm not blaming MY daughters for anything. And you're right. It wouldn't be hard to be a better father then you ever were." He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "You know, for years I thought you and Kevin were living the good life. But it seems that you screwed up with him almost as badly as she screwed up with me. The real difference is that I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. I live with what I am. What you and HER created. Kevin never quite learned to go with the flow." Laughing again, Ryan shifted the phone a bit and struggled to keep his voice low. "He'll never admit it, but you know it as well as I do. He likes to point at my face and call me the demon. But see, my face IS his. So I guess that he can't stand to take too long of a look in the mirror."

Victor had no idea where Ryan was going with this, but he knew that the best chance Lucy had to free her children from him was to find out. "And what do you see when you look in the mirror?"

"Nothing you could ever imagine." Ryan whispered into the phone. "Not in your worst nightmare, Victor."

"What do you want with Lucy and the twins, Ryan."

"I want to be exactly what I am. Their father. I created them with her, and I'm NOT going to stand back while she gives them to him. I can't stop her from giving herself to him, but I can stop her from giving him MY daughters."

The tone of his voice when he talked about Lucy giving herself to Kevin confused Victor, but he didn't comment on it. Whatever his intentions were for Lucy, there was nothing he could do while he was in Ferncliff. But legally, he could do something to hurt her where the girls were concerned, and Victor had no intention of letting that happen.

"Ryan, I'm not sure what you want me to say. I can tell you that I was wrong. I know I was wrong."

"Doesn't really do me a lot of good, now." His voice was sarcastic. "I'm not really sure what I wanted you to say. I just knew that I had to say a few things. I know Lucy's got this idea in her head that you're the perfect grandfather, but I know you. The real you, Victor. The one that would walk away from them and never look back."

Victor stopped and thought about what he said. "Is this about you or them?"

"There is nothing between you and me, Victor. This is about them, and what I know you would do to them if push came to shove. Lucy really has no idea. I'm sure she's heard your side. Although, I am surprised, she heard Kevin's side, too, and she still allows you anywhere near them. We won't discuss the fact that one of them is actually named Victoria. That was all it took for me to realize just how snowed she is by you."

Speechless, Victor waited to see what Ryan was going to say next.

"But I'm not, Victor. Those little girls have no idea what kind of family they were born into. And I'll be damned if they're going to turn out as completely messed up as Kevin AND I are, thanks to you and HER. Something good is going to come out of this disaster we call a family, and I'm going to make sure it's them." Hanging up the phone, Ryan sighed and closed his eyes.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Lucy opened her eyes, and even before she rolled over, she knew Kevin was standing between the bed and the cribs. "Doc?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't." She stared at him for a moment, unable to see him, but she knew he was looking at her. "You don't need to watch over us. We're fine."

"I know. I just...." He shrugged.

"Just can't help yourself." Laughing softly, Lucy continued. "I know you've been prowling the halls instead of sleeping at night."

Again, she didn't need to see his face to know how surprised he was.

"You don't think I remember the signs? You need to sleep, Doc. We're warm and safe. You don't need to stand guard over us." He didn't answer and finally she patted the side of the bed. "Come here."

Softly, he sat on the side of the bed.

"No, I meant come HERE." Sliding over, she gave him room beside her. "I'm right here, they're right there, and maybe you can get some sleep."

Stretching out on his back beside, her, Kevin fought the urge to reach for her.

"You don't need to watch over us. I know you can't help yourself, and I love you for it, but you need to relax." Turning over on her side, she faced him. He didn't answer her, and she reached for his hand. When he returned her grip gently, she bit her lip.

"Stop fighting it." His tone was light and she knew he was smiling.

"Fighting what?"

"There's something on your mind just fighting to get out. What is it?"

"We need to plan the Christening."

"At 2AM?"

Laughing, she tugged on his hand. "I've been thinking about it."

"White."

"What?"

"They wear white."

"Stop!" They both laughed softly. "Really, Doc. I've been thinking about who we're going to ask to be their godparents."

"Mac and Felicia."

"Of course. But for Victoria or Marissa?"

"And who else do you have in mind?" His tone took on a higher pitch. "You say Luke or Sonny, and I'm going to prepare myself to never sleep again."

She laughed and squeezed his hand. "No. Luke and Sonny aren't exactly the godfather type."

"At least not in the way you're thinking at the moment."

"Stop!" She laughed harder. "Stop picking on them. To be honest, I'm thinking about someone that you might be just as unhappy with."

He tensed a bit and waited for her to say it.

"Scott?"

He thought about it for a moment, then relaxed. "I can live with that."

"Really?"

"Lucy, I have some issues where Scott is concerned. But I don't doubt for one minute that he loves you and he would be a good godfather for either one of them. And a godmother?"

"I don't know. I don't exactly have a selection of female friends." She thought about it for a moment. "What about Karen?"

He didn't answer.

At first Lucy thought he was trying to find the words to voice his objection, but he snored softly and she realized that he'd fallen asleep. Smiling to herself, she moved closer and put her face against his arm. His body was warm and strong against her, and she closed her eyes.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Victor?" Mary found him staring out the window. "Please give it a rest and come to bed. There's nothing you can do about Ryan tonight."

"He's right, you know. I failed them both miserably." Victor sounded so lost that Mary went to him and put her arms around him.

"You did the best you could, Victor. What happened to Ryan was so far beyond your control.... And Kevin doesn't blame you. Maybe it's time you forgive yourself."

"I wish it was that easy. Kevin would have never even looked at me again if it hadn't been for Lucy."

"But he did, and the two of you are closer now then you've ever been. And now you have two beautiful granddaughters. They named one of them after you. That should tell you something."

"It does. But I look at them, and I wonder if Ryan might be right."

"About what?" Mary stared at Victor.

"About the family they were born into. Mental illness, psychosis, the list is long and not very pretty." Victor turned to her. "I can't tell you how much I worry about them."

"Victor, please stop." Taking his face in her hands, she stared into his eyes. "Lucy is nothing like Melanie."

"And Kevin is nothing like me." Victor sighed. "Or is he? I mean, when things got tough for him before with Lucy, he walked away from her. He ran. You can argue the point all you want, but he did learn that from me."

"Victor, I have a feeling that you've both learned a lot about sticking around and working through it."

Smiling, Victor pulled her into his arms. "And if we forget, we're very fortunate to have you and Lucy to remind us."

As Mary moved into his arms, she didn't see the smile leave his face as he stared out the window over her shoulder.


	11. Part 11

Pain woke Lucy, and she shifted her body. When she did, Kevin tightened his grip on her and she realized that his arm was draped over her. The pain was from the fact that in his sleep, he'd reached around her and cupped her very tender, very full breast in his hand. From the way she felt, she knew she had a little while before the girls would wake, so she moved his hand down to her ribs and pushed her back against his chest. His grip tightened, and his hand started to move back up. Smiling to herself, Lucy took his hand and held it. The warm, safe feeling that came with being in his arms brought back a lot of memories that made her smile. One of her legs was trapped under his, but she brought the other one up and over his.

Sighing in his sleep, he snuggled closer and all but enveloped her body with his own. Still holding his hand, she closed her eyes and relaxed against him.

It wasn't ten minutes later she heard one of the girls begin to make those familiar noises that preceded a very hungry cry. Unwilling to give up the feeling of being in his arms, Lucy silently pleaded with her daughter to give her five more minutes. But in only a couple of minutes, the other baby joined in.

With a sharp breath, Kevin mumbled. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. They just woke up." She whispered and snuggled against him.

"Oh." Not really waking up, Kevin moved his hand up to her breast again.

She tried to stop him gently, but her position was awkward and her own wrist brushed up against her. Gritting her teeth, she hissed softly in pain.

"What?" Fully awake, Kevin tried to pull away, but she held his arm.

"Nothing. I'm sore, remember?" Holding his hand tighter, she pulled him back against her. "Don't move. This feels good."

"It sure does." Kissing the side of her head softly, he snuggled close to her.

"I would say this moment is absolutely perfect."

"Yep." Making a decision, Kevin lifted his head next to hers. "I want to spend the rest of my life waking up just like this. With you in my arms and our daughters waiting for us to take care of them." He kissed her again. "I love you, Lucy."

Tears came to her eyes, and she took a shuddering breath before answering him. "I love you, too."

Moving just enough to slide his free hand up between them, Kevin pushed her hair off her neck and kissed her gently. Smiling, Lucy tilted her head to further expose herself to him and he trailed his lips along her skin, kissing every inch of her neck softly. Giving him a second to move back, Lucy rolled over and looked up at his face. Her hand traced his features and he kissed her fingers.

When her eyes met his, he smiled and leaned over her. Being careful to not press on her, he finally kissed her lips. The feel of his lips on hers sent shivers up her spine and she gripped his hair. At first he softly opened his mouth over hers, but as soon as she responded to him, he slid his tongue between her lips and kissed her from his soul. Every muscle in her body tensed and she clung to him as she tasted him, wanting him to feel what was going through her. Shifting her body, she rolled over on her side so she could face him. They held each other's faces gently and continued to kiss. Kevin put his hand on her waist and pulled her against him gently.

Moving against him, Lucy wrapped her leg over his hip and felt the familiar craving to have him inside her. His hand slid down and cupped her rear, holding her tightly.

"Doc..." Breathless, Lucy kissed his neck.

"Lucy..." Pulling a bit away from her, he stared in her eyes.

"I want you." She bit her lip.

"I know. I want you, too." He kissed her once, softly. "We can't. Not yet."

"I know. Not yet." She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." He smiled at her. "You want me as badly as I want you. That means everything to me, Lucy." Touching her face, he leaned closer. "Until I can actually make love to you."

Returning his smile, she kissed him. The soft noises from the cribs grew in volume as they held each other and kissed.

"They're going to have to eat." Kevin whispered to her lips.

"You think?"

"Um..... yeah." Laughing he moved away from her and looked down.

When she realized that the front of his pajama top was all wet, she laughed. "Sorry."

Laughing harder, he kissed her once more quickly before moving away from her. "Say sorry to them. It's past breakfast time for them." Taking off his shirt, he reached into the crib and lifted Victoria up into his arms. For a moment, he smiled at the baby and talked to her.

Watching his back as he played with their daughter, Lucy smiled and sighed to herself. When Marissa began to cry, Kevin handed Victoria to Lucy and picked Marissa up to comfort her. "I'll see if she'll take a bottle."

"Okay. I think Victoria will nurse if I give her a minute."

Stopping at the door, he turned back to her. "You want me to warm up some of those cabbage leaves Mary brought you?"

She wrinkled her nose. "They stink."

"But do they help?" He looked at her.

"Yes." She sighed at him. "I'll even let you put them on if you do it gently."

Laughing, Kevin shook his head. "Pass."

"COWARD!" Lucy yelled as he disappeared out of the bedroom.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Before Scott could knock on the lighthouse door, Kevin opened it.

"What's up?"

"They're asleep." Kevin kept his voice down and stepped outside. "We got a court order for a DNA test."

"We knew that was coming. Now we have to have you have the same DNA test."

"And then?"

"Well, that test shows the same results for you, right?"

"Yeah. But I'm sure Ryan will push for an RFLP."

"THAT'S the one we need to avoid, right?"

Nodding, Kevin sighed. "That's the one that can tell the difference."

"Well, at least this will buy us some time. When can Lucy take them for the test?"

"How long can we stall?" Kevin turned to him.

"If we can get the Pediatrician to back us, we should be able to convince a judge that they can't be transported back to the hospital for the test for a few more weeks." Scott shrugged. "Buy us as much time as we can to give me a chance to find some answers." His eyes met Kevin's. "The ones I've found so far you aren't gonna like."

"He has rights, doesn't he." He didn't want to hear Scott's answer, but he had to.

"Yeah. I mean, there are cases on both sides that I need to review, but it's not looking good. The lawyer he's got is good. He's big into getting convicts parental rights. Everything from drug dealers to murderers."

"Great. Ryan's right in his class." Kevin sighed. "We need to tell her, Scott. I know it's the last thing she wants to hear, but she needs to have a realistic view of what we're up against."

"How is she?"

"If you can hang out for a while, you can see her. They've all three been asleep for a couple hours, so I'm guessing they'll wake up shortly."

"Is it normal for her to sleep so much? I mean, is she suddenly catching up for all the years she NEVER slept?"

Laughing, Kevin shook his head. "She should be more awake in the next couple days. Her iron count was low. Mary's bringing her some iron pills when she comes by tonight. It should help." Kevin stopped and looked at Scott. "She wants to go see Ryan."

"She WHAT?"

"She wants to see him. She has this idea in her head that trying to keep things civil with him is the way to go."

"Are you sure that her iron count isn't effecting her brain? I mean, she KNOWS what he is!" Scott shook his head.

"I guess I don't have to tell you that I feel the same way about it you do. The question is, how do we convince her that it's a really bad idea?"

"Let's see, Lucy has a hairbrained scheme hatching in her head, and you want ME to try to talk her out of it?" Smiling at him, Scott shrugged. "Yeah, sure. I'll talk her out of it. Then I'll just fly on up to the South Pole and tell Santa that all we want for Christmas is world peace."

"I'm serious, Scott."

"So am I, Kevin! I don't know how to talk her out of anything she's got her mind set on." He thought about it for a moment. "The trick is to make HER think it's a bad idea."

"Yeah, well, I'd even listen to one of YOUR hairbrained schemes at this point to stop her."

"If I come up with any, I'll let you know." He was quiet for a moment. "Think she'll be up to Serena coming over? She's making me nuts to come see the girls."

"Definitely. Bring her by anytime. Lucy would love it as much as Serena would." Kevin smiled. "Come on in."

When they entered the house, the sound of crying brought both men to the bedroom. Both girls were crying, and Lucy was standing between the cribs, crying as hard as they were. Kevin crossed the room and took Lucy's shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Lucy didn't answer except to shrug.

Watching her for a moment, Scott leaned over and picked up one of the girls. "Let's try to cut down on the noise a little."

It only took him a few seconds to take her out to the bassinettes and come back for the second one. As he picked up the second one, he looked at Lucy. As he passed Kevin, he shrugged. "She's freaking. She'll be fine."

Kevin glared at Scott, but wrapped his arms around Lucy and held her against him. "What happened?" He whispered in her ear.

After a moment, Lucy nodded. "He's right. I'm freaking."

"Why?"

"I don't know." She continued to cry. "One started crying, then the other started crying, then.. I don't know. I couldn't help it. I started crying. Then I couldn't stop."

Kevin held her for a few more minutes until her crying slowed.

Finally she leaned her head back against his shoulder and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. "I don't get it. I'm fine, and then all of a sudden I completely freak out and I can't stop crying."

"It's normal.-"

"You say the word 'hormones' and I'll slap you so hard you'll be crying, too! I'm sick of it." She was half laughing, half screaming at him and he kissed the side of her head.

"You ready to go rescue Scott?"

One more deep breath and she nodded. "Yep."

When they reached the living room, they stopped at stared.

Scott was holding one baby while he kneeled beside the bassinette that held the other one. They were fussing, but Scott was managing to keep them both from really crying.

Smiling, Kevin turned to Lucy and realized that Scott was a better choice for a godfather then he'd wanted to admit when she'd said it.

Crossing the room, Lucy stood behind Scott. "Ready for some help?"

"I guess that depends on if you're going to freak out again." He was laughing.

"Not at the moment." Answering him, she reached for the baby he was holding. When she freed his hands, Scott reached down and picked the other one up, cuddling her in his arms.

"I'll go get a bottle for her." Kevin headed for the kitchen while Lucy sat on the sofa with Victoria and held her.

"Which one am I holding?" Scott knew that Lucy could tell them apart without even looking.

"Marissa."

As Lucy unbuttoned her shirt to nurse Victoria, Scott moved to the window with Marissa. "You know, you're going to take half the fun out of being twins."

"Why's that?" Victoria wasn't ready to cooperate, but Lucy patiently coerced her.

"Because every time Victoria says she's Marissa, YOU'RE going to know better."

Lucy laughed softly. "You're right. I will."

Turning, Scott looked at Lucy. The look on Lucy's face while she nursed her daughter stopped him. Slowly, he walked around the sofa to sit beside her.

Finally Lucy looked up at him. The way he was almost studying her made her self-conscious. "What?"

"You." Unable to stop himself, Scott reached out with his free hand and touched the side of her head. "I've known you a lot of years."

"Don't go there." It was a warning.

He laughed. "I'm not going to say how many." Growing serious again, he moved his hand to her face and stared into her eyes. "I've never seen you look happier."

Smiling, Lucy looked at each of the girls before looking back at Scott. "I don't think I've ever been this happy."

"It shows." Marissa wiggled in his arms and he pulled his hand back to pat her gently.

Exiting the kitchen with a bottle, Kevin crossed the room. "I'll assume you remember how to do this."

"I don't know, it's been a while." Laughing, Scott shifted Marissa and gave her the bottle. At first, she wanted no part of it and Scott laughed. "We know she comes by her stubborn streak naturally." He tried for a few more seconds before he was finally rewarded by Marissa putting her hands against the bottle and eating hungrily.

Victoria started to spit a bit and Lucy grabbed a cloth before transferring the baby to her shoulder.

Watching Scott for a few more minutes, Lucy finally spoke. "How long did Serena stay on a bottle?"

"I guess by the time she was...." Scott thought about it for a moment. "Three, she wanted nothing to do with a bottle. The hard part was finding a formula that agreed with her after taking her off breast milk cold turkey." Realizing what he said, Scott looked up in time to see a brief look of pain flash across her face. "Sorry."

Blinking back a few tears, Lucy shook her head. "It's okay. I mean, it hurts that I missed so much of her life, but I want to know." Victoria burped and spit up a bit. Moving her to her lap, Lucy wiped her face and held her in a sitting position. "And I'm not going to miss one minute of that time with them." Victoria looked at her and she raised the tone of her voice a bit to keep her attention. "That's right. Momma's not going to miss one minute." Inhaling sharply, Lucy made sure to keep her tone at the same level. "Doc, she's smiling! Look at her!"

Jumping to his feet, Kevin moved to stand behind her.

"That's right. She's smiling." Lucy continued to talk to Victoria and Kevin smiled as he watched.

Shifting Marissa to his shoulder, Scott watched the utter joy on Kevin and Lucy's faces and felt a pang of regret run through his body. So many wonderful moments in Serena's life that he could have shared with Lucy that he didn't.

Finally, Victoria had enough smiling, and began to fuss a bit. Reaching over Lucy, Kevin took her and began to walk the floor with her.

Scott handed Marissa to Lucy and looked at her. "Neither one of you are going to miss one of these moment, Lucy. No matter what happens, there's nothing Ryan can do to make either one of you miss one second of their lives. And this is what it's all about." He touched Marissa's head as Lucy held her.

Tears filled Lucy's eyes and all she could do was nod.

"Come on, stop it. She won't smile at you if you're crying."

That made her cry harder, and Scott slid closer to her. "Don't go freaking out on me, here, Luce." Putting one hand on Marissa, Scott wrapped his other arm around her shoulders.

She leaned against him and continued to cry.

Watching them, Kevin put Victoria in her bassinette and took Marissa from them.

As soon as his other arm was free, Scott took her hand and squeezed it. "Lucy, you're freaking on me, here, and I don't know what to do about it."

"I know. I can't stop." She shrugged.

Looking over her at Kevin, Scott shrugged. "Can they give her something for this? I mean, it's her hormones, right?"

Kevin nodded, but Lucy pulled away from him. "STOP SAYING THAT!" Jerking her hand away from him, she slapped his arm. "You.... You...... MEN keep saying that like it's a cold! It's NOT!" As Scott pulled away from her, she hit him again. "It's like patting me on the head and sending me to my room! I hate it!" As Scott raised his arms to protect himself, he was laughing, which made her even angrier.

"You think you're so smart! You have NO idea what it's like to be hot, then cold, happy, then crying!"

Still deflecting her blows, Scott looked at Kevin. "You know, you could help me out, here."

"And be YOUR human sacrifice? I don't think so." Amused, Kevin watched as she continued to assault Scott. "Watch it-"Lucy landed a slap on his chest that made Kevin wince. "That sounded painful."

"It was. But she's wearing herself out." Scott waited as she slapped his arm a couple more times before she sighed.

"I feel better now."

"All done?" Scott looked at her.

"For the moment." She glared at him again. Then she winced and held her hands to her breasts. "That hurt."

"Hurt me more." Scott rubbed his chest where she'd smacked him.

"Good." She turned to Kevin. "I feel okay now."

"Good to hear." Kevin smiled at her. "Scott, you going to live?"

"Only if I never say hor-"Lucy glared at him and he smiled at her. "The H word again, right?"

"Right." Shaking her head, she looked at the highly amused men. "You guys just don't get it."

Reaching for her nose, Scott grabbed her playfully. "You know, you're cute when you're trying to beat me senseless."

Glaring at him for a second, Lucy lost the battle and smiled at him. "What say you come over a couple times a day, say, for stress relief?"

"What say I come over in the morning and bring Serena?"

"You mean it? Really?" Grabbing his arm, she jerked him closer to her. "Can she spend the day with me?"

Scott realized that Lucy was almost asking permission to see her daughter, and he suddenly decided that it was time to do something about that. "Really. She can stay as long as you're up to having her."

Victoria grew tired of being alone in the bassinette and started to make noise. Moving to her, Lucy picked her up and walked towards Kevin. "They're starting to stay awake for a while after they're done eating."

Standing, Scott watched them for a few minutes. "I've got to get going."

"You're going to be back in the morning with Serena, right?"

Moving to her, Scott hugged her gently. "I'll even bring chocolate donuts." He waved to Kevin before he left.

Turning to Kevin, Lucy smiled. "We have about twenty minutes before they're ready to go back to sleep."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Mary watched as Victor clenched the wheel in his hands.

"I need to tell Kevin about what Ryan said. I don't know if it will help, but he needs all the information he can get."

"I don't think it's a good idea to hit Lucy with this. She's jumpy enough."

Shaking his head, Victor sighed. "I agree with you on that. But Kevin needs to know what's running through Ryan's head. He might be able to make more sense out of it than I can. He's had more contact with Ryan than I have."

A car passed them going the other way and Victor's head turned to catch a better look.

"What?" Mary watched him.

"That was Scott. I hope he had some good news for them."

"He might not have, Victor. This might not be the best time to spring this on them." Mary shook her head. "I wish I knew what to say, but I only saw Ryan when he was working at GH. I mean, I heard all about what he did, but I never saw anything but the upstanding Pediatrician."

"He hid what he was well, for a time." Victor thought about Ryan's words about not pretending to be something he wasn't.

As he parked the car, Mary looked at him. "Don't say anything until you find out what Scott's had to say. It might be irrelevant."

"I promise."

Knocking on the front door a couple times, Mary entered the living room. It was empty, but the French doors were open and she moved to them. She stopped, and waved for Victor to join her.

Spread out on the patio furniture cushions, Lucy and Kevin were on the floor of the deck holding the girls. Sigmund was between them, and the girls seemed fascinated by the sight of the much larger duck in front of them.

Turning, Lucy spotted them and waved. "We thought it was time to bring them outside."

Sigmund quacked loudly, startling both of them and making them cry. Laughing, Lucy and Kevin tried to soothe them. The sound of them crying only made Sigmund quack again, and Lucy reached for the duck, trying to quiet him. Moving to sit beside her on the ground, Victor reached for the baby in her arms so Lucy could pull the duck into her lap.

"He's jealous." Lucy stroked the duck softly and nuzzled his neck a bit. He responded to her and settled down in her arms.

Reaching over next to him, Kevin picked up a stray leaf that had blown onto the deck and held it in front of Marissa. The little girl's eyes tracked it as he moved it back and forth.

When he put it in front of her reach, she moved her arm towards it and brushed her fist against it. Opening her fist, she clenched it around the leaf and crushed it. As Kevin laughed softly, she moved her fist towards her mouth.

"No." Keeping his voice soft, he took her hand and cleared the leaf from it. "No, Marissa. That's NOT good to eat."

"Good luck with that word, Doc." Lucy smiled at him. "It's not a word I ever learned."

"I noticed." He returned her smile and shrugged. "To be honest, there are times I've been very glad of that."

Marissa began to cry and kick her feet.

"Doesn't look like you're going to have good luck teaching her that word, either." Mary laughed at Marissa's temper.

Grabbing her feet gently, Kevin tried to distract Marissa. The less he was in control of the situation, the more Lucy, Victor, and Mary laughed. He looked so pathetic when he looked at Lucy that she laughed harder.

"Uh-uh. No way, Doc. I'M the only one allowed to freak out. I'M the HORMONAL one, remember?" Her tone was sweet, but her smile was wicked as she watched him.

"It's time for a change and a bath." His tone sounded firm, but he was still losing the battle to make her stop crying.

"I guess it's time to bail Daddy out." Still laughing, Mary reached down and took Marissa from him. Instantly she stopped crying, which made them all laugh harder.

Actually pouting, Kevin looked at Lucy, who shrugged. "It's an art. You'll get it."

Standing, Kevin waited for Lucy to move Sigmund out of her lap before gently pulling her to her feet. "I'll watch and take notes."

"Spoken like a true scholar." Kissing him once, softly, Lucy turned and took Victoria out of Victor's arms. "Come on. He might not have the magic touch, but he's right. Time for a bath and a fresh diaper."

As Mary and Lucy went inside, Victor stood and faced Kevin. "Looks to me like you're making progress with her."

Smiling, Kevin nodded. "We're getting there. The hardest part for her is to realize that my feelings for her aren't completely tied to how I feel about them."

"She'll get there. She loves you." Victor stared at him. "She always has, Monk."

Sighing, Kevin turned and leaned on the rail. "How did I miss that? We were so connected once, and for so long I...... I had no idea how she felt. It took RYAN to show me." He said the name like it was poison. "And she had to pay for it. Maybe now for the rest of her life."

"Actually, I need to talk to you about Ryan." Victor began with the moment he picked up the phone and told Kevin about the entire conversation.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Looks to me like the two of you are getting along better then very well." Mary smiled knowingly at Lucy.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm busy giving my daughter a bath." Smiling, Lucy tried to deflect the conversation.

"And I'm giving the other a bath. And I also know that you are very good at doing two things at once. So......"

"So....." Lucy sighed. "So things are getting pretty intense between us." She glanced at Mary and grinned at her. "Okay, extremely intense."

"Sounds like that's a good thing."

"I don't know." Shifting Victoria in her tub, Lucy bit her lip and lowered her voice. "We were in bed this morning and-"

"You know better then that." Mary's voice took on that nurse tone again and Lucy shook her head.

"NO! We didn't. I mean, we wanted to, but we didn't."

"Is there another reason besides the obvious that you don't sound happy about that?" Mary stared at Lucy, knowing there was more to that.

As Lucy thought about what she was going to say, she took a towel and wrapped it around Victoria, picking her up. "You know I love him."

"But...."

"No buts about that. I love him." Sighing again, Lucy watched Mary lift Marissa out of her small tub. A guilty look crossed her face and she shrugged. "As much as I wanted to make love to him this morning, I'm kind of glad we couldn't."

"Honey," Mary couldn't stop a small laugh from escaping. "it's not a crime to not want to. The why you're glad has to be the bad part, right?"

Laying Victoria on the changing table, Lucy put her diaper and sleeper on her, not answering Mary at first. Once Victoria was in her crib and Mary was finished dressing Marissa, Lucy sat on the side of the bed.

"Out with it." Sitting next to her, Mary smoothed Lucy's hair back off her face. He's really getting to you, isn't he."

"There's NOTHING new about that. He always has." Lucy sighed again and bit her lip. "It's just that.... As much as I want him, it's not just physical. It never was with him."

"And you're not sure you're ready to take that step with him?" Mary was trying to guess where she was headed with the conversation. "It's a big step, Lucy. And there's nothing wrong with not being ready to make that kind of a commitment."

Suddenly, Lucy remembered what a devoted Irish Catholic Mary was and she started to laugh.

"What's funny?"

"Big step. Commitment. Those are just words I never associates with sex." Biting her lip again, she looked at Mary. "I wasn't raised with a lot of religious faith. I always believed that I had to fight for what I wanted, and then fight even harder to keep it." She shrugged. "Sex was just one of the ways I fought the battles." Tears came to her eyes and she shrugged again. "Until I met Kevin. I can honestly say that he was the first man that I ever truly, really truly made love to. And I think what I'm really afraid of is being vulnerable to him." It was hard for her to admit it, and her voice shook. "I'm not ready to open myself up to the point of no return."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Staring at her for a moment, Mary finally spoke quietly. "Aren't you already there?"

After listening to Victor, Kevin shook his head. "I wish I knew what he was really after."

"He really wants the girls named as his. For what reason, I can't fathom."

Turning back to the rail, Kevin leaned on it. "Lucy's intent on finding out herself. She wants to go see him."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Hell no! But I don't know how to convince her of that."

"You know, her instincts are usually pretty good."

"Not about this." Kevin turned to him. "And don't even say that you think she might be right about going to see him."

"I don't want her anywhere near him, either. He's done enough to her. But you and I both know that as long as he can do more damage to her or someone she loves, she's not going to stand back and expect anyone else to fight her battles."

"Maybe I NEED to fight this one for her, Victor." Sighing, Kevin shrugged. "I haven't done a damn thing for her since the day I walked out on her. Except take her friendship for granted. I need to do this for her. And OUR twins."

Victor moved closer to Kevin. "Whatever is going to happen with Ryan, there is nothing you can do about it right this minute. It seems to me you have something more important that you need to stand up for."

"Which is?"

"How about the way the two of you feel about one another? You know, as much as you and I both hate to admit it, there was some truth to what Ryan said about me running and teaching you to do the same."

Kevin began to argue, but Victor interrupted him. "You did exactly what you'd seen me do. You walked away and completely shut down. If you can't admit you did, how can you ever hope to convince her that you won't do it again?"

Victor's words struck home to Kevin and he sighed. "That's exactly what she's afraid of."

"Can you blame her? Monk, she's not perfect. I know that part of her that keeps you coming back is also what seems to infuriate you about her."

"Well, when she's out of control, or going off on some-"

"THAT'S exactly what I'm talking about. Being out of control IS Lucy. She is exactly the opposite of everything your life was with me." Desperate to get his point across to his son, Victor grabbed his arm. "As much as you love her when she's doing something you approve of, you hate her when she's not doing what you think she should do."

"I HAVE NEVER HATED HER!" Kevin was furious and he struggled to keep his voice down.

"No, you've just not spoken to her for months on end. No matter how much she begged you to. That's not hate?"

"No, it's not. It's...." Kevin couldn't find the words, and it made him angrier.

"Let me tell you something, Monk. I was there. I watched her. From where she was standing, you hated her. For being who she is." Before Kevin could start again, Victor shook his head. "I'm not attacking you, if it sounds that way, I apologize. I'm just telling you that she loves you, but she's afraid that if she makes you angry you'll turn your back on her again."

"And how do you know what she's thinking?" His tone was challenging.

"Simple." Victor shrugged. "You left her. I didn't. I've always loved her and I've always made sure to keep her in my life." He stared at Kevin for a moment before finishing. "And as much as it took Ryan to show you how much she still loves you, it also took Ryan for me to realize that I taught you to run when all else failed. And for that, I'm sorry."

It all hit Kevin at once. Everything Lucy had said about what would happen to them the next time he threw her out, everything Victor had said, and everything he'd done when he had thrown her out. "It's not your fault, Victor. I'll admit that there might be some truth to what you're saying about me, if you'll tell me how you think I can convince her that I've learned what my life is like without her and I don't ever want to live that way again."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Lucy was silent for so long Mary began to wonder if she was going to speak again. Finally she stood and moved to the cribs, staring at her daughters for a moment before turning back to Mary. "I'm there. I've always been there. But that's the problem."

"Why is that a problem?"

"Because as wonderful as it feels when he looks at me when he's happy with me, it hurts twice as much when he can't stand to look at me." Her eyes filled with tears and she put her hand to her face.

"Lucy..." Standing, Mary moved to her and hugged her.

"I remember how much that hurt." She began to cry harder in Mary's arms. "And I know that if I do something wrong, I'll be right back there."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do! I tried so hard for him, Mary. He loved me so much, and I screwed it up. I made him hate me as much as he loved me. I can't help it. I always screw up. And I don't think I could take it again. It was so hard to get past it, and...."

"Come here." Leading her gently to the bed, Mary sat down beside her. "Have you told Kevin any of this?"

"Some."

"And what did he say?"

"He said it won't happen again. Because of them." She gestured to the girls. "But that's not fair to them."

"But you both agree that they're the most important thing, here, right?"  
Lucy nodded.

"Then maybe, just maybe, Kevin will be more ready to talk to you before shutting you out. There's too much at stake for him to just walk away again, right?"

Nodding again, Lucy thought about what Mary was saying. "You're saying that he loves them enough to put up with me, and that's what I'm saying isn't fair to them."

"No, that's NOT what I'm saying." Sighing, Mary looked at Lucy. "I'm saying that Kevin loves YOU. I can see that every time he looks at you." Leaning closer to her, Mary stroked her hair gently, like a mother would a child. "What happened to the woman who wasn't afraid to take a chance? You strike me as the type that jumps in to see how cold the water is. You're going to tell me that now that everything you want is in the water you're going to stand on the side and stick your toe in to test it first?"

A literal picture of what Mary said formed in Lucy's mind and she began to laugh. "I was the one that jumped in first and if I came up screaming everyone knew the water was cold." She looked at Mary for a moment and wiped her eyes. "This is so strange for me. I mean, I can't believe I'm sitting here telling you all this. No offense, but I'm not usually this easy to work."

"I know all the tricks. I'm a mother." A strange look crossed Lucy's face and Mary sighed. "This really is all new to you, isn't it."

Shrugging, Lucy nodded.

"You told me your aunt raised you. What did she say to you when you talked like this?"

Thinking for a moment, Lucy shrugged again. "Don't get knocked up by some poor jerk that won't stick around?"

Mary was shocked. "That's horrible!"

"I guess you can figure out that we didn't really talk like this." Lucy laughed again, then became serious. "She did the best she could. None of her boyfriends or husbands ever stuck around. The one thing she really wanted for me was for me to NOT end up like she did. And I wasn't exactly easy to talk to. I was too busy fighting."

"Well, you're more then easy to talk to now. And as far as how you turned out, she must have done something right." Smiling, Mary squeezed her shoulders.

"I don't know. I did do the one thing she always told me not to do. But I don't think she ever imagined RYAN when she told me that." She sighed. "I did want to ask you something. Kevin's not to happy about it, but there's something I really think I have to do."

"And that would be....?"

"I need to see him."

Stopping, Mary stared at her. "Ryan?"

Lucy nodded.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm sure I won't know what he's up to unless I face him. There's more."

"What are you about to get me involved in, Lucy?"

"I want to take them with me."

"Oh, Lucy!" Jumping to her feet, Mary paced in front of her. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I understand you have a need to face him, but to take them with you?!"

"SSHHHHHH!" Lucy tried to quiet Mary.

"And you're not going to tell Kevin?"

"Kevin knows I want to go see Ryan."

"And I raised two boys that beat around the bush better then that. He knows you want to go, and he's not happy about it, so you're not about to tell him that you want to take the girls with you, right?" When Lucy didn't answer, Mary leaned closer to her. "Isn't this the kind of thing that got you in trouble with Kevin before?"

"Mary, he's convinced that I'm wrong. That's what got HIM in trouble with ME before." Lucy sighed. "Ryan won't hurt them. That much I'm sure of. And the only way to find out what he's up to is to face him. Kevin wants to poke him with a stick, and I think that's the wrong way to handle him."

"And how do you plan to pull this off?"

"Kevin has to go back to work. He doesn't want me alone, so he's going to ask you and Victor to come help me when he's not here."

Mary didn't look sure.

"I'll tell him as soon as we get back. I promise. But if I tell him that I want to do it, he'll get angry, I'll get angry, we'll end up fighting, and he'll try to put his foot down with me, which REALLY makes me mad." She stared at Mary. "Please?"

"I have to admit something to you. I've been curious about him. And according to Victor, there is something there for him where you're concerned." Now Mary sighed. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but let me know when."

Standing, Lucy went to Mary and hugged her.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Kevin opened the door and grinned when he saw Mac and Felicia standing there with their arms full of presents. "Come on in. We've been so busy we haven't had a chance to call you until this morning."

"Don't even pretend we're here to see you." Smiling, Felicia blew past him and went to the bassinettes. "They're beautiful!"

Lucy was sitting on the sofa watching her. "I think so, too."

After handing Lucy the brightly wrapped boxes she was holding, Felicia gently picked a baby up and moved to sit next to Lucy. "Which one am I holding?"

Glancing at her, Lucy answered. "Marissa."

Mac looked at Kevin, who shrugged. "Go on, there's no such thing as small talk when there are babies in the room."

Slapping Kevin's arm playfully, Mac went over and picked Victoria up in his arms. "She looks like her mother. Lucky girl."

Groaning, Kevin stared at him. "If I tell you Scott said the same thing, will you be as scared as I am?"

They all laughed.

Lucy began to tear into the boxes Felicia had handed her. While she opened them, Felicia watched her. "I hope you can use them."

"Yeah, it's hard to figure out what to give the woman that has everything." Mac shrugged. "AND has it delivered."

Shrugging, Lucy opened the box and pulled out several terry sleepers.

"They were a godsend when I had Georgie." Felicia looked at Lucy, who smiled.

"Definitely." Lucy agreed with her and grinned.

"I got them a little larger, so when you go to snap one and it's too small, you'll have some that will fit them."

Now Lucy laughed. "That seems to happen every other day."

"They grow so fast at this age." Felicia agreed with her.

"I love them. Thank you. These are the best."

"The other box was my idea." Mac pointed to it, and Lucy handed it to Kevin.

"You mean I get to open one?" Kevin smiled at her.

"Only if you do it before I change my mind."

Opening it, Kevin was confused at first to find a large envelope. Opening that, he found gift certificates. The first one was for the Outback, but the second one made him laugh.

"What?" Lucy tried to see what he was holding.

"Gift certificates. For the Outback, The Grille, and Luke's. But, with every dinner gift certificate, there is also a certificate that promises a night of free babysitting." Kevin and Lucy both laughed.

"I know you won't want to leave them for a minute for a while, but trust me, there will come a time, sooner then you think, that you'll want a night away." Felicia grinned at Lucy.

"And, if you read the bottom, it says ALL NIGHT. Just in case." Mac smiled.

"This is great. Thanks." Kevin shook Mac's hand while Lucy hugged Felicia.

"There was an ulterior motive for inviting you over tonight." Lucy began, and looked at Kevin.

"We were discussing when we were going to christen them. And we realized that before we even started to plan that, we had to find godparents for them."

Lucy took over again. "And we both decided that you'd be our first choice for Victoria. If you want to."

Mac and Felicia were both stunned for a moment, and Felicia recovered first. "We'd love to!" Shifting Marissa to one arm, she hugged Lucy before getting to her feet to hug Kevin.

Mac was doing the same and he moved to sit next to Lucy. "It's our pleasure, Luce."

She was crying, and Mac put his arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just.....I get this way. It'll pass." She turned to Kevin. "Unless he says the 'H' word." Her tone was threatening.

"No. Never again." Kevin held his hands up in a defensive gesture. "I learned from watching what happened to Scott. I don't want to be next."

At Mac and Felicia's questioning glances, Kevin dramatically whispered. "Scott accused her of being hormonal and she almost beat him to a pulp."

"He deserved it." Felicia announced. "That was mean."

Finally, Lucy managed to stop crying and she smiled at them. "We need to make arrangements, but we'll let you know as soon as we decide when and where."

"We'll be there." Mac promised. "I'll even let Felicia dress me for the occasion."

They all laughed again.

When someone knocked on the door, Kevin went to answer it. Grabbing Serena, Kevin hugged her tightly before standing back so she could come in.

"Daddy's parking the car. I couldn't wait to see my sisters!" Running to them, Serena kissed one, then the other before hugging Lucy. As Lucy pulled Serena to sit next to her, Scott came inside.

"She didn't just barge in, did she?"

"No. But she's always welcome to." Kevin smiled at him and the men joined the group in the living room.

"I didn't know you had a houseful, here." Scott nodded to Mac and Felicia. "But we had something really important to talk to Lucy about."

Serena looked around the room, then back at Scott.

"We can do this in private, if you want. I mean, she'll tell everyone, but we can tell her alone." Scott leaned down and looked at Serena, who nodded.

"Tell me what?" Lucy was instantly worried.

"Don't get paranoid on me. Nothing bad."

Grabbing her arm, Serena tried to pull Lucy to her feet. When Lucy winced, Scott grabbed Serena's shoulders gently. "Why don't you let me help her." He took Lucy's hand and helped her up. "Come on. She's not going to stop until you talk to us."

Lucy glanced at Kevin for a moment before following Scott and Serena to the bedroom.

Mac looked at Kevin, who shrugged. "I have no idea."

"That was weird." Mac sighed.

"That's Scott." Felicia laughed.

When Scott and Serena had Lucy in the bedroom, Lucy sat down and stared at them. "Okay, out with it. What's going on?"

"Well, I've been thinking, and I talked to Serena, and she was all for it. I mean really happy about it. So we decided to get everything ready before we talked to you about it and-"

"SCOTT!" Lucy glared at him.

"I promised her she could tell you." He pointed to Serena, who jumped up on the bed and kneeled next to Lucy.

"You know how you're my almost mom. I mean, I know I have a real mom, but you've been taking care of me for her, right?"

"Right. And I love every minute of it." Lucy touched Serena's face.

"Daddy and I talked about it, and I want you to be my real almost mom."

Lucy was confused, and Scott handed Lucy the papers he'd had in his jacket. Her eyes scanned them quickly, and she looked at him, hoping they said what she thought they said.

"It's all legal. Well, not the original petition. I kind of forged your name on those. But these are the final ones. The ones that make it real, legal, and forever." He sat next to her and took her hand.

"These are......" Lucy stared at Scott for a moment.

"Adoption papers!" Serena answered her. "Now you're my REAL mom!"

Handing her a pen, Scott looked at her. "All you have to do is sign them."

Lucy's breath caught in her throat and her mouth literally dropped open.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Scott looked at her. Grabbing a magazine off her nightstand, he handed it to her. "Oh, something to lean on."

Without a word, Lucy signed the papers and handed them back to Scott. As soon as she did, Serena grabbed her and hugged her. As Lucy pulled Serena to her, she finally started to cry. Once she started, she couldn't stop, and she started to shake she was crying so hard. Touching Lucy's head for a moment, Scott went to the bedroom door and looked at Kevin.

"You want to come in here? I don't think she's going to stop crying any time soon."

Immediately, Kevin ran into the bedroom and sat next to Lucy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Releasing Serena, Lucy continued to cry. "I'm happy."

"Yeah, you look it." Laughing softly, Kevin looked at Scott.

"Serena and I figured it was time Lucy was really a mother to her. So," He waved the papers. "I take these down tomorrow and file them, and Lucy is really, legally, her mother."

"Her...." Kevin realized what Scott had in his hand. "You're going to let Lucy adopt her?"

"Yeah, well, it was past time, you know?" Shrugging, Scott looked at Lucy. "I should have done this a long time ago."

Kevin didn't even have to look at Lucy to know what that meant to her. "I can't argue with that. But I'm glad you did it."

"Come on! Let's go tell my sisters! They're REALLY my sisters now, right?" Serena pulled on Lucy's hand.

"Yep." It was a struggle for Lucy to get one word out. Standing, she squeezed Serena's hand as they went back into the living room.

Mac and Felicia were on the sofa, holding the girls. "You okay?" Felicia looked at Lucy, who nodded.

"Better then okay." Lucy hugged Serena again and watched her run to the girls.

"Mom just adopted me! For real! She really IS my mom now!"

Mac and Felicia looked at Lucy, who could only nod.

Scott looked at them. "It won't be official until I turn these in tomorrow morning, but then it will be."

Felicia put Marissa on Serena's lap and stood to hug Lucy. When she moved to Scott, she tugged gently on his jacket. "You did the right thing."

"For once, huh?"

"Well, no, but.." Felicia realized he was kidding, and she laughed. "I guess we have a lot to celebrate, then."

"I forgot!" Lucy turned to Kevin, who shrugged.

"Scott kind of beat us to the punch on surprises. But go ahead."

Wiping her eyes, Lucy looked at Scott. "We were going to ask you tomorrow, but since you're here...."

"What?"

"Mac and Felicia are going to be Victoria's godparents, and-"

"Hey! That's great!" Scott turned to them.

"Will you let me finish!" Lucy looked at him. "We still need godparents for Marissa. And, believe it or not, Kevin and I BOTH agree that you'd be a great godfather."

After a second, Scott smiled. "I'd love it. For a second there, I thought you were going to say Luke or Sonny."

Lucy and Kevin both started to laugh, which confused everyone else in the room.

"Why is it that when I say the word 'godfather' everyone thinks of Luke or- Never mind, don't answer that. Either of you." Lucy glared at the Scott and Kevin, who had both opened their mouths to answer her.

"So who's the lucky godmother?"

"Karen." Lucy answered. "If she agrees to it."

"I'm sure she will." Scott sat next to Serena, who was still holding Marissa on her lap.

"Wow, we're like one really big family, now, right? Victor and Mary are my grandparents, too, now right? And you and Karen are her godparents, and Kevin's going to be my stepfather someday, right?"

Lucy and Kevin both stopped and stared at her in shock. Then they looked at each other and Scott realized that Serena had just put them on a major spot. "We're just one big, happy, maybe a little dysfunctional," He looked around for a moment. "okay, a LOT dysfunctional family."

Mac turned to Felicia, who just smiled at him and nodded. "Give them time." She whispered to him. "She'll come around."

From the look on Kevin's face, Mac had a feeling it would be soon.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Kevin put Marissa in her crib and turned to Lucy. "You look beat."

"I am." She sighed, and curled up under the blanket.

Sitting next to her, Kevin reached for her hand. "It's been a busy day."

"It's been an absolutely wonderful day." Lucy smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "Perfect comes to mind."

With his other hand, he brushed a few stray strands of hair off her face. "I bet you will be asleep in about five minutes."

"Probably less." She admitted.

"Then I guess I'll see you in a few hours." Smiling, Kevin leaned closer to her and kissed her softly. As he moved away from her, she gripped his hand and held him.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"I'm tired of the game."

"What game?" Kevin honestly had no idea what she was talking about.

"The game where you say goodnight to me and you go upstairs, pretend to be able to sleep for a while, but I wake up and find you watching us."

"I can't help it. I just...." Thinking Lucy was complaining, Kevin shrugged.

"I know you can't. So why do we keep pretending that you can?" Smiling, Lucy moved over on the bed. "Why don't we just cut to the chase?"

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure that you'll be here by morning? Yes. Do I want to wait till 4 am to snuggle with you? No." He hesitated and she glared. "I'm NOT asking again."

Literally jumping into the bed with her, he reached for her. "No need to." Once she was in his arms, Kevin held her tightly and whispered against her head. "You don't ever have to ask to snuggle with me."

"Good."

They were both quiet for a moment, but neither closed their eyes. Finally Kevin spoke. "I was thinking about what Serena said tonight."

Lucy was quiet, but Kevin could feel her muscles tense.

"I'm not pressuring you, Lucy. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to put your faith in me again after-"

"You have my faith, Doc. And my love." Her words were quiet and he could tell she was crying. "It's just that I'm so afraid that I'll so something-"

"Stop." Moving her gently so he could look in her eyes, Kevin held her. "If that's how you still feel, then you're not ready, and that's okay."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry for how you feel." Stroking her hair, he looked at her. "I know I did the one thing I swore I'd never do."

"Doc, don't-"

"I have to, Lucy. It took us so long to build trust between us, and somehow we lost it. I don't want you to be afraid to tell me the truth. I always knew that you lied to protect what you cared about, and instead of understanding the fact that you felt like you had to protect yourself from me, I turned around and did exactly what you felt you had to protect yourself from." She opened her mouth to protest, but he touched her face. "Right or wrong?"

She shrugged, but didn't answer him.

"When you're ready, you'll tell me." Smiling at her, he held her closer and sighed. "I have the rest of my life to wait for you."

Wishing she could tell him she was ready, she closed her eyes laid her head on his chest. His hand played softly with her hair, and she reached out to hold his other hand tightly in her own.


	12. Part 12

"Lucy, I'm still not entirely sure this is the best way to go about this." Mary glanced at Lucy before looking back at the road.

"It has to be now. At their checkup today, the blood was drawn for the DNA test. Even though Kevin is going to have the same test, Ryan's attorney will push for the RFLP test. I have to try to stop him, Mary."

"But to just go there without telling Kevin. And to take them with you." Mary had reluctantly agreed to take Lucy to Ferncliff following the twin's first checkup.

"Kevin would have tried to stop me, and you know it. I have to do this." With a determined sigh, Lucy turned and stared out the window.

Grateful for the fact that the twins were apparently going to be car sleepers, Mary glanced in the rear view mirror at them. "I understand you needing to face him, Lucy. I really do. But is taking them really the right thing to do? What are you planning?"

"I'll know when I get there." She shrugged. "I know Kevin has a few patients he has to see this afternoon. By the time he figures out I didn't go straight home, I'll have my answers."

"And you'll be ready to face him?"

"Yes." She looked at Mary. "Kevin wants to make this his fight. But it isn't. I got myself AND my girls into this. I need to get us out of is."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"Me, too." Lucy whispered and turned to stare out the window.

Ryan sat in the chair and stared at the door. When they'd brought him to the visitor room, they hadn't told him who was coming to see him. Finally the door opened, and Ryan was shocked to see Lucy standing in the doorway.

"Lucy...." He tried to stand, but the chains on his wrists prevented him.

Lucy turned to the guard. "Take those off."

"I can't."

"Then get someone who can." Her voice was strong and she glared at him.

"The only one who can order that is his doctor."

"Then get him!" Lucy turned to Ryan. "I don't have a reason to be afraid of you, do I?"

Ryan's eyes met hers. "No."

The guard didn't look sure. "Ma'am, you might not know what you're dealing with-"

"I know exactly WHO I'm dealing with, and I want those chains OFF OF HIM!" Moving closer, Lucy stared at the guard. "Now go get someone who has the brains and the authority to unlock him!"

After the guard left, Ryan began to laugh. "Wow, that was a side of you I hadn't seen yet."

Shrugging, Lucy sat down across from him. "I have my reasons."

"Oh, I'm sure you do, Lucy. Does my dear brother know you're here?"

"No." Lucy decided being honest with Ryan was the best way to handle him. "And I'm sure you know what his reaction is going to be when he finds out."

"Can we all say 'not a happy camper'?" Ryan smiled at her.

"I can say he's going to be furious. But I had to come."

"Why?" Now she had Ryan's interest.

The door opened again, and several orderlies entered with the guard.

"Okay, Chamberlain. We're going to do as the lady requested. But you make a sudden move, and you know what's going to happen."

Lucy rolled her eyes in disgust and sighed.

"I can be a good boy, can't I, Lucy?" Ryan smiled at her.

"I guess we're going to find out." She met his eyes evenly and didn't smile.

Once Ryan's wrists were free, Lucy stood and watched him for a moment. Making a decision, she went to the door and knocked on it.

Ryan watched her intently until the door opened again. Then he stood so quickly the orderlies advanced on him. For a moment he was speechless.

An orderly entered with a single stroller holding both babies.

Slowly, aware of the angry eyes on him, Ryan moved around the table and got close to them.

Kneeling down beside them, Lucy looked up at Ryan.

When Ryan got about two feet from the stroller, the guard moved to his side. "That's close enough."

Ryan turned to the guard, but Lucy interrupted him. "This is MY decision. NOT yours." Her words were directed to the guard and she pulled the stroller closer to Ryan.

Kneeling down, Ryan looked at them. Despite his best efforts, he began to cry at the sight of them.

"I'm having a problem with this." The guard spoke again.

"And I'm having a problem with YOU." Lucy glared at him. "Ryan won't hurt them."

Gently, Ryan reached out and took one of their hands with his own.

"Victoria Lynn." Lucy's voice was soft.

For a brief moment, Ryan glared at Lucy. "I'll call her Lynn."

"I can understand that."

"And this must be Marissa Dominique." He moved his hand to the other baby. After a moment, Ryan looked at Lucy. "I had the pleasure of meeting Dominique a few brief times. She'd be proud."

"I hope so." Lucy's voice was soft. After a moment, Lucy moved closer. "What happened to your wrist?"

"Like you care?" He started to get snide with her, but when his eyes met hers, he shrugged. "Temper. I'm sure you know what that's like with Kevin."

"I'm not here to discuss Kevin with you. If that's what you want, I'm leaving right now."

"No. I won't. Promise." He almost begged her to stay.

Victoria started to fuss a bit, and Ryan waved her rattle in front of her. Moving to them, Lucy lifted Victoria out of the stroller and cuddled her for a moment.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Standing next to her, Ryan watched Lucy put the baby in his good arm.

The guard moved closer. "I can't-"

"This is NOT your concern." Lucy glared at him again. "So just back off."

Shaking his head, he watched Ryan hold the baby gently.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Lucy, I'm still not entirely sure this is the best way to go about this." Mary glanced at Lucy before looking back at the road.

"It has to be now. At their checkup today, the blood was drawn for the DNA test. Even though Kevin is going to have the same test, Ryan's attorney will push for the RFLP test. I have to try to stop him, Mary."

"But to just go there without telling Kevin. And to take them with you." Mary had reluctantly agreed to take Lucy to Ferncliff following the twin's first checkup.

"Kevin would have tried to stop me, and you know it. I have to do this." With a determined sigh, Lucy turned and stared out the window.

Grateful for the fact that the twins were apparently going to be car sleepers, Mary glanced in the rear view mirror at them. "I understand you needing to face him, Lucy. I really do. But is taking them really the right thing to do? What are you planning?"

"I'll know when I get there." She shrugged. "I know Kevin has a few patients he has to see this afternoon. By the time he figures out I didn't go straight home, I'll have my answers."

"And you'll be ready to face him?"

"Yes." She looked at Mary. "Kevin wants to make this his fight. But it isn't. I got myself AND my girls into this. I need to get us out of is."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"Me, too." Lucy whispered and turned to stare out the window.

Ryan sat in the chair and stared at the door. When they'd brought him to the visitor room, they hadn't told him who was coming to see him. Finally the door opened, and Ryan was shocked to see Lucy standing in the doorway.

"Lucy...." He tried to stand, but the chains on his wrists prevented him.

Lucy turned to the guard. "Take those off."

"I can't."

"Then get someone who can." Her voice was strong and she glared at him.

"The only one who can order that is his doctor."

"Then get him!" Lucy turned to Ryan. "I don't have a reason to be afraid of you, do I?"

Ryan's eyes met hers. "No."

The guard didn't look sure. "Ma'am, you might not know what you're dealing with-"

"I know exactly WHO I'm dealing with, and I want those chains OFF OF HIM!" Moving closer, Lucy stared at the guard. "Now go get someone who has the brains and the authority to unlock him!"

After the guard left, Ryan began to laugh. "Wow, that was a side of you I hadn't seen yet."

Shrugging, Lucy sat down across from him. "I have my reasons."

"Oh, I'm sure you do, Lucy. Does my dear brother know you're here?"

"No." Lucy decided being honest with Ryan was the best way to handle him. "And I'm sure you know what his reaction is going to be when he finds out."

"Can we all say 'not a happy camper'?" Ryan smiled at her.

"I can say he's going to be furious. But I had to come."

"Why?" Now she had Ryan's interest.

The door opened again, and several orderlies entered with the guard.

"Okay, Chamberlain. We're going to do as the lady requested. But you make a sudden move, and you know what's going to happen."

Lucy rolled her eyes in disgust and sighed.

"I can be a good boy, can't I, Lucy?" Ryan smiled at her.

"I guess we're going to find out." She met his eyes evenly and didn't smile.

Once Ryan's wrists were free, Lucy stood and watched him for a moment. Making a decision, she went to the door and knocked on it.

Ryan watched her intently until the door opened again. Then he stood so quickly the orderlies advanced on him. For a moment he was speechless.

An orderly entered with a single stroller holding both babies.

Slowly, aware of the angry eyes on him, Ryan moved around the table and got close to them.

Kneeling down beside them, Lucy looked up at Ryan.

When Ryan got about two feet from the stroller, the guard moved to his side. "That's close enough."

Ryan turned to the guard, but Lucy interrupted him. "This is MY decision. NOT yours." Her words were directed to the guard and she pulled the stroller closer to Ryan.

Kneeling down, Ryan looked at them. Despite his best efforts, he began to cry at the sight of them.

"I'm having a problem with this." The guard spoke again.

"And I'm having a problem with YOU." Lucy glared at him. "Ryan won't hurt them."

Gently, Ryan reached out and took one of their hands with his own.

"Victoria Lynn." Lucy's voice was soft.

For a brief moment, Ryan glared at Lucy. "I'll call her Lynn."

"I can understand that."

"And this must be Marissa Dominique." He moved his hand to the other baby. After a moment, Ryan looked at Lucy. "I had the pleasure of meeting Dominique a few brief times. She'd be proud."

"I hope so." Lucy's voice was soft. After a moment, Lucy moved closer. "What happened to your wrist?"

"Like you care?" He started to get snide with her, but when his eyes met hers, he shrugged. "Temper. I'm sure you know what that's like with Kevin."

"I'm not here to discuss Kevin with you. If that's what you want, I'm leaving right now."

"No. I won't. Promise." He almost begged her to stay.

Victoria started to fuss a bit, and Ryan waved her rattle in front of her. Moving to them, Lucy lifted Victoria out of the stroller and cuddled her for a moment.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Standing next to her, Ryan watched Lucy put the baby in his good arm.

The guard moved closer. "I can't-"

"This is NOT your concern." Lucy glared at him again. "So just back off."

Shaking his head, he watched Ryan hold the baby gently.

"Monk, calm down."

"I just wish I knew where she was." Standing at the French doors, Kevin shook his head.

"Did she actually SAY she was coming straight home?"

"She said she was....." Kevin turned to Victor. "She didn't say what she was doing." It hit Kevin and he got angry. "She made it a point to NOT say what she was doing after she left the hospital. All she said was that she'd see me at home." Victor knew what that meant, but he also knew that Kevin knew, so he said nothing. It would only make Kevin worse.

"She has something planned, Victor. I'm not sure what, but-"The phone ringing interrupted him and he ran to it. "Hello?"

Victor couldn't hear the other end, but Kevin identified himself, and after a few seconds, became even angrier. Thanking the person on the other end, he hung up the phone. More like slammed it on the table.

"What is she thinking?"

"What?" Victor was almost afraid to ask.

"That was Ryan's doctor at Ferncliff. He's agreed to keep me informed as Ryan's next of kin. Guess what? Ryan has a visitor."

Closing his eyes, Victor sighed. He didn't have to guess.

"Well, he has THREE visitors! How could she do that, Victor? What did Lucy think she would accomplish taking them to SEE him?!" Kevin grabbed his keys and moved towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go GET her."

Not giving Kevin the chance to tell him no, Victor followed him out the door and got in the car with him.

Lucy watched Ryan hold Marissa and put Victoria back in her stroller.

"There's something else on your mind, Lucy." His tone was soft as he gently bounced Marissa in his arm.

"I never said there wasn't."

"Let me guess, you brought them here to soften me up to...what? Give up MY children?" He laughed. "Not happening, Luce."

Lucy cringed inside, but didn't let him see how much it affected her to hear him call them his children. "I do want to talk to you. Alone." Moving to him, she reached for Marissa.

For a moment, Ryan held the child back from her. "So am I supposed to say goodbye?" His tone challenged her.

"No. I'll bring them back." Ignoring his tone, she took the baby out of his arms and put her in the stroller. Then she turned to the guard. "Take them back out and leave us alone."

"I can't leave you alone with him."

Lucy sighed. "Yes, you can."

"No, I can't. I've given in to everything else you've asked. You want him loose, you get protected." The guard was adamant. "Everyone else can leave, but I'm staying."

"Fine. Just stay and be quiet." Giving in, Lucy watched the orderlies take the stroller and leave the room.

Ryan sat down and watched her carefully. As she moved to the other side of the table, he began to laugh.

"What's funny?"

"You. I thought you had some grand plan in the works, and I just realized that you're winging it."

Caught off guard at his words, Lucy laughed. Sitting down, she shrugged. "You're right. I'm winging it."

"Let's start with the obvious question. Why are you here?"

Her eyes met his for a moment, and they didn't falter when she answered him. "I don't know. I just felt like I had to see you. And don't ask why I brought them, I have no idea."

"I'm glad you did." He smiled at her.

"Me, too. Answered a lot of questions for me."

Now Ryan was intrigued. "Like what?"

"You love them. I can tell by watching you."

"And you....what, didn't think I was capable of loving anyone? A monster like me couldn't possibly love anyone, right? I mean-"

"Shut up." Her words were direct and Ryan stopped. "You can't read my mind, so stop putting words in my mouth. I was there when you delivered them, remember?" The word 'remember' dripped with sarcasm, then she continued quietly. "I saw the look on your face when you saved their lives. You have said that you want to be a good parent for them. I guess I'm wondering what that means to you."

He didn't answer her, and she pressed him. "Come on, Ryan. What does being a good father mean to you?"

"Being there." He finally answered. "Not judging them because of things they can't control. Could you hate them because I'm their father?"

"I love them no matter who their father is." Lucy was careful to not agree with him. "Babies are simple. You love them, they love you. Easy and unconditional." When she said the word 'unconditional' Ryan's eyes narrowed and Lucy knew she's hit on something. "All they understand is that you love them."

"Unconditionally." Ryan agreed with her. Leaning closer, he looked at her. "Why did you use that word, Lucy?"

His stare made her uncomfortable, like he suddenly knew more about her then she wanted him to, but she didn't falter. "Because it's what everyone wants. Unconditional love."

He knew he had her and he smiled. "And you want to give them what you never had."

"Don't you?" She glared at him.

Now his smile faltered and he shrugged. "Okay, I guess we can agree that I was never exactly the favored child. Guess you weren't, either." When she didn't answer him, he leaned closer again. "Come on, Luce. After everything we've shared, you can tell me."

"Not much to share." She shrugged, trying to hide how uncomfortable the conversation was suddenly making her. "You're right. I wasn't the favorite. I was more like the least favorite. At least that's how I felt. I wasn't even hers. She raised me, but I could never forget I wasn't hers."

Her direct honesty threw him for a moment. "You never fit in." His voice was quiet and he reached for her hand.

"Ryan, we've both spent a lot of our lives surviving despite who our parents were." Tears came to her eyes. "I don't want them to live the same way. Can you understand that? I'm not afraid you'll hurt them. I'm afraid of other people hurting them because of you."

"And you think if Kevin's their father it won't happen?" Ryan's voice rose and he pulled his hand away from hers. "Come on, Lucy. The entire Collin's family is like a psychiatric circus sideshow. You're right. People will have expectations of them because of it, no matter which of us gets the Father's Day card. And if unconditional love is what you want for them, it isn't going to come from Kevin." Standing, he leaned across the table until his face was only a few inches from hers. "You, of all people, should know that one."

"He loves them."

"But there's always conditions, aren't there." Sitting down, he shrugged. "What happened to you when you didn't live up to them?" Ryan knew that he'd hit a sore spot even before he saw the pain flash across her face. "You think it's going to be different with them? The first time they let him or Victor down, you'll find out just how conditional their love is, Lucy."

He was really getting to her, and Lucy knew she had to put a stop to it. Standing, she paced around the side of the table. "This isn't about anything but them, Ryan. I don't know much about your childhood, but I know it wasn't great. Worse then mine, I do know that. But I know how it feels when other children have something to hold over your head." Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. "I was the only kid in my school that didn't have parents. Every other kid teased me because I was poor and my own parents didn't even want me. Do you have any idea what other children are going to say to those girls if you're their father?" This time he didn't answer her, and she leaned closer to him. "Come on, Ryan. This is a no brainer. Children can be cruel." Her voice rose and she became angry at the thought that he might want this for them. "You don't think other kids are going to pounce on the fact that their father is a serial killer? You don't think the other parents won't be afraid for their children to be around them? You really want our children to grow up that way?!"

Ryan was so shocked at her outburst that it took him a moment to realize that Lucy had actually called him their father. "NO! I don't want that for them." He stopped and stared at her, fighting his own tears. "But they're mine, Lucy. What do you want me to do?"

Realizing what she'd said, Lucy sighed. "You want to be their father? You want to be a better father then either of us had? Don't make them survive who you are. It's that simple, Ryan."

"It's NOT that simple, Lucy. I was a resident of Port Charles, an upstanding one until right before Baldwin took your baby and split town. You know how much that hurts. Now you want to do the same to me?" No longer fighting his own tears, he stared at her.

His words took her by surprise and she sat down. "This isn't how I wanted this to go." Her words were so quiet he had to strain to hear her.

"What?"

"THIS! I came here to beg you to let them go." Crying, she shook her head. "But I can't. You love them, and I do know how it feels to have your heart ripped out." She smiled through her tears. "Gotta tell you, Ryan, I liked it better when I didn't think you had a heart."

"Well, I liked it better when I thought you were an airhead with a great body." He laughed softly. "So where does that leave us now?"

"I don't know. I want what's best for them."

"And you still believe that's Kevin, right?" Ryan's eyes met hers, and she could see how much it hurt him.

"With all my heart, Ryan. He's with them, and he loves them." She shrugged.

"He's not exactly stable, Luce."

"Like either of us are?" She smiled at him again. "I'm can't cut you out, Ryan. I wanted to, I'd still like to, but I can't."

"At least you're honest with me. I appreciate that."

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him.

"I didn't mean it that way. I swear I didn't. I mean that you're not sitting there telling me what you think I want to hear to get me to do what you want me to do. That's what everyone else around here does."

"I won't play games when it comes to them." She shrugged. "I guess I-"

The door opened and Mary appeared. "Lucy, we need to go."

Meeting Mary's eyes, Lucy knew something was wrong. She stood and looked at Ryan. "This isn't over, Ryan."

"It never will be, Lucy."

As she left the room, Lucy followed Mary to the waiting room. When she reached the door, she stopped. Kevin was standing next to the stroller glaring at her.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Monk, calm down."

"I just wish I knew where she was." Standing at the French doors, Kevin shook his head.

"Did she actually SAY she was coming straight home?"

"She said she was....." Kevin turned to Victor. "She didn't say what she was doing." It hit Kevin and he got angry. "She made it a point to NOT say what she was doing after she left the hospital. All she said was that she'd see me at home." Victor knew what that meant, but he also knew that Kevin knew, so he said nothing. It would only make Kevin worse.

"She has something planned, Victor. I'm not sure what, but-"The phone ringing interrupted him and he ran to it. "Hello?"

Victor couldn't hear the other end, but Kevin identified himself, and after a few seconds, became even angrier. Thanking the person on the other end, he hung up the phone. More like slammed it on the table.

"What is she thinking?"

"What?" Victor was almost afraid to ask.

"That was Ryan's doctor at Ferncliff. He's agreed to keep me informed as Ryan's next of kin. Guess what? Ryan has a visitor."

Closing his eyes, Victor sighed. He didn't have to guess.

"Well, he has THREE visitors! How could she do that, Victor? What did Lucy think she would accomplish taking them to SEE him?!" Kevin grabbed his keys and moved towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go GET her."

Not giving Kevin the chance to tell him no, Victor followed him out the door and got in the car with him.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Lucy watched Ryan hold Marissa and put Victoria back in her stroller.

"There's something else on your mind, Lucy." His tone was soft as he gently bounced Marissa in his arm.

"I never said there wasn't."

"Let me guess, you brought them here to soften me up to...what? Give up MY children?" He laughed. "Not happening, Luce."

Lucy cringed inside, but didn't let him see how much it affected her to hear him call them his children. "I do want to talk to you. Alone." Moving to him, she reached for Marissa.

For a moment, Ryan held the child back from her. "So am I supposed to say goodbye?" His tone challenged her.

"No. I'll bring them back." Ignoring his tone, she took the baby out of his arms and put her in the stroller. Then she turned to the guard. "Take them back out and leave us alone."

"I can't leave you alone with him."

Lucy sighed. "Yes, you can."

"No, I can't. I've given in to everything else you've asked. You want him loose, you get protected." The guard was adamant. "Everyone else can leave, but I'm staying."

"Fine. Just stay and be quiet." Giving in, Lucy watched the orderlies take the stroller and leave the room.

Ryan sat down and watched her carefully. As she moved to the other side of the table, he began to laugh.

"What's funny?"

"You. I thought you had some grand plan in the works, and I just realized that you're winging it."

Caught off guard at his words, Lucy laughed. Sitting down, she shrugged. "You're right. I'm winging it."

"Let's start with the obvious question. Why are you here?"

Her eyes met his for a moment, and they didn't falter when she answered him. "I don't know. I just felt like I had to see you. And don't ask why I brought them, I have no idea."

"I'm glad you did." He smiled at her.

"Me, too. Answered a lot of questions for me."

Now Ryan was intrigued. "Like what?"

"You love them. I can tell by watching you."

"And you....what, didn't think I was capable of loving anyone? A monster like me couldn't possibly love anyone, right? I mean-"

"Shut up." Her words were direct and Ryan stopped. "You can't read my mind, so stop putting words in my mouth. I was there when you delivered them, remember?" The word 'remember' dripped with sarcasm, then she continued quietly. "I saw the look on your face when you saved their lives. You have said that you want to be a good parent for them. I guess I'm wondering what that means to you."

He didn't answer her, and she pressed him. "Come on, Ryan. What does being a good father mean to you?"

"Being there." He finally answered. "Not judging them because of things they can't control. Could you hate them because I'm their father?"

"I love them no matter who their father is." Lucy was careful to not agree with him. "Babies are simple. You love them, they love you. Easy and unconditional." When she said the word 'unconditional' Ryan's eyes narrowed and Lucy knew she's hit on something. "All they understand is that you love them."

"Unconditionally." Ryan agreed with her. Leaning closer, he looked at her. "Why did you use that word, Lucy?"

His stare made her uncomfortable, like he suddenly knew more about her then she wanted him to, but she didn't falter. "Because it's what everyone wants. Unconditional love."

He knew he had her and he smiled. "And you want to give them what you never had."

"Don't you?" She glared at him.

Now his smile faltered and he shrugged. "Okay, I guess we can agree that I was never exactly the favored child. Guess you weren't, either." When she didn't answer him, he leaned closer again. "Come on, Luce. After everything we've shared, you can tell me."

"Not much to share." She shrugged, trying to hide how uncomfortable the conversation was suddenly making her. "You're right. I wasn't the favorite. I was more like the least favorite. At least that's how I felt. I wasn't even hers. She raised me, but I could never forget I wasn't hers."

Her direct honesty threw him for a moment. "You never fit in." His voice was quiet and he reached for her hand.

"Ryan, we've both spent a lot of our lives surviving despite who our parents were." Tears came to her eyes. "I don't want them to live the same way. Can you understand that? I'm not afraid you'll hurt them. I'm afraid of other people hurting them because of you."

"And you think if Kevin's their father it won't happen?" Ryan's voice rose and he pulled his hand away from hers. "Come on, Lucy. The entire Collin's family is like a psychiatric circus sideshow. You're right. People will have expectations of them because of it, no matter which of us gets the Father's Day card. And if unconditional love is what you want for them, it isn't going to come from Kevin." Standing, he leaned across the table until his face was only a few inches from hers. "You, of all people, should know that one."

"He loves them."

"But there's always conditions, aren't there." Sitting down, he shrugged. "What happened to you when you didn't live up to them?" Ryan knew that he'd hit a sore spot even before he saw the pain flash across her face. "You think it's going to be different with them? The first time they let him or Victor down, you'll find out just how conditional their love is, Lucy."

He was really getting to her, and Lucy knew she had to put a stop to it. Standing, she paced around the side of the table. "This isn't about anything but them, Ryan. I don't know much about your childhood, but I know it wasn't great. Worse then mine, I do know that. But I know how it feels when other children have something to hold over your head." Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. "I was the only kid in my school that didn't have parents. Every other kid teased me because I was poor and my own parents didn't even want me. Do you have any idea what other children are going to say to those girls if you're their father?" This time he didn't answer her, and she leaned closer to him. "Come on, Ryan. This is a no brainer. Children can be cruel." Her voice rose and she became angry at the thought that he might want this for them. "You don't think other kids are going to pounce on the fact that their father is a serial killer? You don't think the other parents won't be afraid for their children to be around them? You really want our children to grow up that way?!"

Ryan was so shocked at her outburst that it took him a moment to realize that Lucy had actually called him their father. "NO! I don't want that for them." He stopped and stared at her, fighting his own tears. "But they're mine, Lucy. What do you want me to do?"

Realizing what she'd said, Lucy sighed. "You want to be their father? You want to be a better father then either of us had? Don't make them survive who you are. It's that simple, Ryan."

"It's NOT that simple, Lucy. I was a resident of Port Charles, an upstanding one until right before Baldwin took your baby and split town. You know how much that hurts. Now you want to do the same to me?" No longer fighting his own tears, he stared at her.

His words took her by surprise and she sat down. "This isn't how I wanted this to go." Her words were so quiet he had to strain to hear her.

"What?"

"THIS! I came here to beg you to let them go." Crying, she shook her head. "But I can't. You love them, and I do know how it feels to have your heart ripped out." She smiled through her tears. "Gotta tell you, Ryan, I liked it better when I didn't think you had a heart."

"Well, I liked it better when I thought you were an airhead with a great body." He laughed softly. "So where does that leave us now?"

"I don't know. I want what's best for them."

"And you still believe that's Kevin, right?" Ryan's eyes met hers, and she could see how much it hurt him.

"With all my heart, Ryan. He's with them, and he loves them." She shrugged.

"He's not exactly stable, Luce."

"Like either of us are?" She smiled at him again. "I'm can't cut you out, Ryan. I wanted to, I'd still like to, but I can't."

"At least you're honest with me. I appreciate that."

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him.

"I didn't mean it that way. I swear I didn't. I mean that you're not sitting there telling me what you think I want to hear to get me to do what you want me to do. That's what everyone else around here does."

"I won't play games when it comes to them." She shrugged. "I guess I-"

The door opened and Mary appeared. "Lucy, we need to go."

Meeting Mary's eyes, Lucy knew something was wrong. She stood and looked at Ryan. "This isn't over, Ryan."

"It never will be, Lucy."

As she left the room, Lucy followed Mary to the waiting room. When she reached the door, she stopped. Kevin was standing next to the stroller glaring at her.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Staring at the wall, Ryan sighed. Everything Lucy had said was still sinking in to him. He was their father, and now he was sure Kevin wasn't even a consideration for that. He smiled when he realized that Kevin hadn't touched her. At least not then. Not sure why that made him so happy, he allowed his thought to drift to the girls.

"It's time to go back." The guard gestured to Ryan's arms, and he stood with them behind his back. The guard put the cuffs above the cast and led Ryan out of the visitor's room.

Before they got out the door, Ryan turned and glared at him. "Don't ever make the mistake of thinking I would hurt my daughters again."

"Yours." The guard shook his head. "Their mother's not exactly a great role model if she got knocked up by you."

"That's enough!" Shoving him with his shoulder, Ryan advanced on the guard. "What happened between me and Lucy is NONE, and I'll repeat that, NONE of your business. Lucy is none of your business, and those babies are off limits to you. Do we have an understanding?"

"Keep it up, Chamberlain, and it will be a long time before you see her or those babies again. Do WE have an understanding?"

"You think I'm bad?" Ryan laughed. "Cross their mother. I'm a pussycat compared to her." The guard didn't pretend to even think about that, so Ryan shrugged. "I just kill them. Quick and over. That woman has left a long line of people that WISHED they were dead when she was finished with them. Which do you think is worse?"

The guard's eyes finally met Ryan's and he began to wonder just what it was about Lucy that had Ryan so interested.

Taking a deep breath, Lucy squared her shoulders and met Kevin's stare. "Doc."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Exactly what I told you I was going to do."

You NEVER mentioned bringing them."

"I know. That was more of a....a feeling I had."

"You mean an urge to act first and worry about the consequences later."

His tone infuriated Lucy and she took a deep breath to keep from screaming at him.

Victor took the moment of silence to approach Mary.

"I had my reasons, Victor."

He nodded. "I know you did. Did you get any of the answers you wanted?"

Glancing at Lucy, who was still trying to calm down, Mary looked at Victor. "I don't know."

"You never get the answers from Ryan. Why Lucy can't figure that out, I have no idea." Kevin was more then ready to fight with her, and Lucy turned to Mary.

"I'm ready to go."

"This isn't over, Lucy." Kevin continued to glare at her, and she turned to face him.

"It is until you can actually talk to me." Without another word, Lucy turned to Victor. "Victor, could you ride back with us? There is a lot on my mind, and I'd like to talk to someone who isn't going to scream at me."

Victor knew Kevin well enough to know that he needed to get Lucy out of there quickly. "I'd be delighted to. Let's go. Maybe Kevin will take the time to himself to CALM DOWN." His words were very deliberate and his eyes met Kevin's.

As Victor and Mary took the stroller out the door, Kevin tried to approach Lucy again. Trying to avoid a confrontation, Lucy began to talk. Telling Kevin that she'd go straight home and she'd see him there wasn't enough. Taking her arm, Kevin held it.

"Let go of me." She kept her voice low.

"I want to know what you thought you were going to accomplish by bringing them here. You know how I felt about YOU coming here, what did you think I would say about them being here?"

Finally, Lucy turned him and glared. "I thought you would do the same thing you ALWAYS do when I don't agree with you. What you're doing now. You think it's wrong, so there's no way I could actually be right. Who cares about what Ryan actually said or did, I mean, since I was told by you this was the wrong thing to do. And we all know how perfect you are and how...what, Doc, stupid I am?"

"I never said that."

"No, you just tell me that I'm wrong every time I don't agree with you. And you don't want to hear the reasons or what I'm thinking."

"How could there be a valid reason for exposing them to Ryan?" His voice rose, and finally Lucy stopped and stared at him.

"This is IT, Doc. What we talked about last night, remember?" He was confused, but she shook her head. "It just hit me. I'm doing it again. I didn't tell you where I was going today because I was afraid of what you were going to do." Tears came, and she backed away from him. "As much as I love you, I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"Ready?"

She began to cry harder. "Ready to stop protecting myself from you. Ready to stop being afraid of doing something wrong. Ready to stop worrying about what will happen if I do something you don't like. Because if it's not what you want me to do, you don't like it."

"That's not true." Kevin started to argue, but he trailed off when he realized that it was exactly how she felt.

"I just need to think. I wasn't lying when I said I had a lot on my mind. We'll talk tonight. I promise." Turning, she left him alone in the room.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

The first ten minutes of the car ride had been Lucy telling Victor in a running monologue what had happened with Ryan.

After she finished, Victor and Mary were quiet for a few minutes. Finally, Mary shook her head. "Okay, I've heard all about Ryan. I remember when he was caught, I remember all the threats, and what he did to Felicia. He tried to take her children. This just doesn't sound like everything I've ever heard about him."

"I have to say, me either. But it does resemble the conversation I had with him." Victor briefly filled Lucy in on the conversation he'd had with Ryan on the phone.  
From the back of the car next to the car seats, Lucy leaned forward and began to talk. "That's what I mean. When he took Georgie, he wanted to play this control game with Felicia. But when Georgie started crying and wouldn't stop, Ryan panicked. He called Kevin. Not to play games, but because he was afraid of losing control with her. He's a lot of things, Victor. I'm not going to pretend to believe he has a conscience, because I know he doesn't. But he's always been....." She shrugged, trying to find the words. "It's like a soft spot for children. I wanted to know how deep that soft spot ran. THAT'S why I took them with me."

"So now what do you think?" Victor glanced at her in the rear view mirror.

"He wants them to have what he never did. Unconditional love." She caught the pain flash across Victor's face. "I'm sorry."

"No. It's how he feels, and I can't say he isn't justified feeling that way." Victor sighed. "I made so many mistakes that so many people have had to live with."

"Stop." Mary and Lucy both spoke.

"The point is that I'm sure of one thing." Lucy tried to shift the conversation back to Ryan. "This isn't about beating Kevin. This is about the fact that Ryan really doesn't believe that Kevin will love them unconditionally."

"I'm on that list, too, I'm sure."

Shrugging, Lucy nodded. "I'm just telling you what I got from talking to him."

Turning to her, Mary watched her carefully. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Kevin wasn't sure that this was all about them. What about you?"

Shifting, Lucy turned to the girls and avoided Mary's eyes. "Ryan likes to push my buttons. He had to find out how in order to get me to......" Hesitating, Lucy sighed.

"Lucy..." Mary's voice was soft.

Shrugging, Lucy finally looked at Mary. "He reminded me how conditional Kevin's love was where I was concerned." She took a deep breath to fight the tears before she continued. "Ryan wants me to believe that it would be the same with them where Kevin's concerned. But I don't believe that."

Victor finally caught on to what Lucy was feeling, and he glanced in the rear view mirror at her briefly. "But you do believe things haven't changed where you're concerned, don't you."

Biting her lip for a moment, Lucy shrugged. "That's something I need to talk about with Kevin."

"You're right. You do." Reaching over the seat, Mary took Lucy's hand. "Honey, you two love each other so much. Too much to not work this out."

Nodding, Lucy turned to the twins. "I know."

Exchanging glances, Mary and Victor both knew how Kevin reacted to this was going to determine what was or wasn't going to happen for him and Lucy. They both just hoped he would talk to her about it.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

It was over an hour after Lucy, Victor and Mary had arrived at the lighthouse before Kevin finally came through the front door.

Standing, Victor moved to him. "You ready to talk to her?"

Kevin nodded. "Has she said anything?"

"Nothing I'm going to repeat." Victor stared at Kevin like he should have known that. "This is between you and her. I think you know how important it is that you stay calm."

"I get the feeling that everything is riding on it." Kevin shrugged.

"That's right. It is." Joining them at the stairs, Mary looked at Kevin. "But I also know how much you two love each other, and I know that when it comes down to it, that's all that matters."

Smiling at her, Kevin nodded. "I'm glad she feels the same way."

"She does. Now go TALK to her. I don't mean lecture her or tell her how wrong you think she is. TALK to her." Mary moved closer to Kevin as she spoke, and nearly glared into his eyes.

"I get the message, Mary. Thanks."

Taking Victor's hand, she pulled him towards the door. "It's time to let them work it out."

"I couldn't agree more." Victor turned back to Kevin for a moment. "I do expect a full report later."

Laughing, Kevin nodded. "I'll bet you get one from both of us."

"We're counting on it." Mary smiled at him and dragged Victor out the door with her.

When Kevin entered the bedroom, he stopped and watched. Lucy was sitting on the bed nursing one of the girls. The other one was securely tucked between her body and the pillow on the bed. Her attention was completely on her daughters, and Kevin approached her slowly.

She bit her lip when she realized that Kevin was there, but she didn't say anything.

Sitting down gently, Kevin watched her. "You want me to feed her?" He gestured toward the baby next to her.

"No." It came out sharp and she shook her head.

"Okay."

Lucy sighed. "No, it's not okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. I just....."

"You just don't want me near any of you and I can't say that I blame you. I acted like a jerk earlier, and did exactly what I promised you I wouldn't do. Again."

A confused expression crossed her face and she stared at him. "No, that's not it. I mean, you DID act like a jerk, but that had nothing to do with it." Her voice trailed off for a moment as Marissa was showing all the signs of being finished. As she shifted the baby in her arms, Kevin made no move to get closer. Her eyes met his and she offered the baby to him. Smiling, he took Marissa and began to burp her as Lucy took Victoria in her arms. As soon as Victoria was happily nursing, Lucy finally tried to speak again.

"I feel.... So connected to them when I'm nursing them. And I really needed that tonight." Her eyes rose to meet his. "That's what I meant."

Standing, Kevin moved to the window. "It's a connection between you and them. And it's something that Ryan and I can't threaten you with or fight over, right?"

Her face showed her mind processing his words, and after a moment, she shrugged. "I guess so. I hadn't really thought about it in those exact terms, but yeah, maybe."

"I can't blame you. I guess I haven't been much better then him about this. I'm as ready as he is to fight over all three of you." His eyes met hers.

"That's just it, Doc. There IS no fight. I love you. And YOU'RE going to raise them with me." She sighed. "But we can't just dismiss Ryan. He can cause a lot of trouble if he wants to."

"If he wants to? Lucy, that's what he lives for. There is no IF to that. He'll do anything he can to cause trouble."

"THAT'S why I had to go see him, Doc. I wanted to know what kind of trouble he's planning."

"And?" Kevin moved closer to the bed. "Do you have an idea?"

"I don't know exactly what he's planning." She admitted it, but before Kevin could jump in she continued. "And if you say I told you so, this conversation is OVER."

"I guess that means you think you learned something today?" At her expression, he realized she thought he was being sarcastic. Sighing, he sat next to her. "I'm not going to say anything. I want to hear you. I really do, Lucy. I want to hear what you're thinking."

For what seemed like an hour to Kevin, Lucy simply stared at him. A suspicion nagged at the back of his mind, but he waited for her to speak.

"There's no use pretending to him that he's not their father anymore."

"YOU TOLD HIM?!" Before he could stop himself, he screamed at her. When Lucy, Marissa, and Victoria all visibly jumped at his outburst, he shook his head. "I'm trying to not yell at you, but you need to explain this to me. Why would you tell him?"

"I didn't, Doc. He knows. I'm just not sure what he's going to do."

"What do you mean by that? Lucy, we KNOW what he's going to do. He's going to use them to-"

"Stop." Shaking her head, Lucy stared at him. "You promised to listen to me."

Sighing, Kevin stroked Marissa's back and sat next to Lucy on the bed. "You're right. I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"Believe it or not, I think I made an impression on him."

Kevin's mind went back to the conversations he'd had with Ryan concerning Lucy. Whatever it was, she was right. She'd gotten to him on several levels. Against his will, he smiled. "I'll tell you that you made him want to love you AND kill you."

"I have that effect on a lot of people." She returned his smile. "Including you on occasion."

They both laughed softly. Then Lucy continued. "You need to remember one thing. Whatever happens with their birth certificates, YOU are their father, Doc. YOU'RE the one that is going to be with them, hold them, watch them grow up, YOU'RE the one they're going to depend on to love them no matter what."

The way she said 'no matter what' made Kevin realize how deep that fear ran in her. "Lucy, I do love them no matter what." Moving closer, he touched her face gently. "I also love you no matter what. I know I haven't exactly proved that to you in the past, but I learned that no matter what, I DO love you. Even when I didn't want to, I did. I couldn't stop myself. I don't ever want to try to NOT love you again. Someday you'll believe that."

She nodded, but couldn't answer him.

"Lucy, exactly what did Ryan say to you?"

"He told me that he would never judge them or take what he thinks you and Victor did out on them." She said it too easily, and Kevin knew there was more.

"And?"

Lucy shrugged.

Moving closer, Kevin stared into her eyes. "What did he say about you?"

"Nothing new."

"You know, you said that you got to him, but I think he got to you." Slowly, Kevin reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Please tell me what he said that has you this uncertain, Lucy. At least give me the chance to answer whatever accusation he threw at me."

"He didn't throw any accusations at you, Doc. He just...." She sighed. "Okay, we spent a few minutes pushing each other's buttons. I figured out how to get to him, and he already knew how to get to me."

"By what, Lucy? REMINDING you that I left you once?"

"Left me once?" Her eyes met his. "It was that simple to you, Kevin. THAT'S what he reminded me."

His eyes dropped from hers and he sighed. "Lucy, it wasn't-"

"Don't. We've already been over this, and if I wasn't going to try to get past it, I wouldn't be here. The point is, he wants them to have unconditional love. And he doesn't think you or Victor are capable of it." Having said it, she turned her attention to Victoria and shifted the baby to her shoulder.

"What do you think?"

"I think Ryan is holding a grudge. But I reminded him what will happen to them if he is named the father."

"You think I won't love them?" The thought that she felt that way cut into his heart, and it showed on his face.

"NO! That's not what I think. I don't think that he's thought that. I just tried to get him to see how OTHER people will treat them because of him. Other kids." She bit her lip and moved Victoria to look at her. "When we're kids, we all pay for who our parents are. And the price for them would be too high if he's their father." Tears came to her eyes and she focused them on Kevin. "I tried to get him to see that."

"And what did he say?"

"He tried to convince me that anyone in the Collins's family would be hard for them to live down." She shrugged. "Psychiatric circus sideshow were his words, I think."

Unable to stop himself, Kevin laughed softly. When Lucy looked surprised, he shrugged. "I can't exactly argue that point."

Smiling back at him, she reached for his face. "I kind of like it. Never know what to expect."

"Do you think you got anywhere with him?"

"I don't know. He loves them, I'm sure of that. He's afraid that if he doesn't win this, he'll never see them again."

Realization crossed Kevin's face. "You identify with that, don't you."

Lucy didn't answer him, and that told him everything. Sighing again, he moved closer to her. "What do you want to do, Lucy?"

"I don't know. I mean, I know I want you to be their father. What I don't know is if I can take them away from him completely. You're right. I know what that feels like. And I'm not sure I could do it to anyone else. Even him."

For a few minutes, Kevin played with the baby in his arms. It was hard for him to admit it, but he knew how much it would hurt if Lucy took them away from him, and he'd seen Ryan the day they were born. It would hurt Ryan just as much if they managed to keep them from him. "Maybe we can..... I don't know, Lucy. I'm reaching here, I know it. But maybe NOT taking them away from him is the way to convince him to give them up."

Instantly, Lucy's head jerked up and she looked at him. "You're really thinking that, too?"

"You do realize that the entire town will think WE'RE the crazy ones, here." Kevin looked at her. "They'll still probably suffer for it."

"Not as much as they would if he gets a judge to order an RFLP test, Doc. You know that."

Standing, Kevin began to pace around the bedroom. "What are we thinking, here, Lucy?"

"We're thinking of making a deal with him. Hoping to reach some human side of him for them. THAT'S what's important, here. Them. I do believe that we all agree on that."

His eyes met hers and he couldn't argue with her.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Victor, when are you going to stop punishing yourself?"

"How can I, Mary? This has gone so far beyond Ryan. He's taken everything out on Kevin, and now two innocent babies."

"That's NOT your responsibility, Victor." Mary sighed and led Victor to the sofa to sit with her. "I knew Ryan. Before he was captured. He did make something of himself, Victor. He was a bright, upstanding Pediatrician. What HE chose to do with it was HIS problem. Not Kevin's, and certainly not yours."

For a moment, Victor simply stared at Mary. "Kevin said he really does love children."

"I know he was wonderful with them. So does Lucy. That's why she wanted to go see him today." Mary sighed. "I have to admit, I would have felt better if Kevin had known what she was planning to do."

"He never would have allowed it. And, knowing Lucy, there would have been a big fight before she found a way to do it anyway." Victor smiled. "As much as he wants to, he has no control where Lucy's concerned. Over her or himself."

"Do you think she was right?" Mary stared at Victor.

After thinking for a moment, Victor sighed and nodded. "I think she needed to face him. I also think she has the best chance to find out what's going on with him. As furious as he is about the babies being with Kevin, he's no happier that Lucy has chosen to be with him as well. Hopefully she can get through to him."

Before Mary could reply, the phone rang.

"Hopefully it's one of them to tell us everything is okay between them." Victor picked up the phone.

"Victor?"

"Good news, I hope?" Victor started to nod at Mary, but the response he received stopped him.

"I'm not sure for whom. I'm sure you know Lucy and I had a conversation today. And I'm also sure you heard all the details from her. I needed to hear a few things from you." Ryan sighed.

"I know you got to see the girls today, Ryan. That had to have effected you." Victor spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"Gee, that's a shocker. A man gets to hold his daughters and it affected him. Guess you are a genius, Victor." Ryan's tone was snide. "I do know they're mine, so don't bother trying to protect Kevin."

"I'm not trying to protect Kevin, Ryan. I'm trying to protect them."

"That's good. You protecting a child." After almost laughing, Ryan's voice dropped to almost a whisper. "I need to know something. What's different? What's so different this time that I'm supposed to believe that you'll really look out for them the way you never looked out for me?"

"I can't make anyone understand what happened over thirty years ago, Ryan. All I can do is tell you something you already know. Lucy is NOT Melanie. There isn't going to be situation where anyone will have to protect either of them from her."

"What about him?" Ryan began to speak faster. "I know there are a lot of people that would gladly kill me to protect them from me. What I want to know is who is going to protect them from Kevin?"

"Kevin would NEVER hurt those children, Ryan! I know you and him have issues, and I caused it. But to even suggest that Kevin would-"

"You don't think the way he treats Lucy won't effect them? I watched them, remember, Victor? Everyone is so intent on protecting the babies from me, who's protecting Lucy from Kevin?"

Confused, Victor thought about what he was saying. "Kevin loves her, Ryan."

"He loves her so much he dumped her at the altar." Ryan laughed. "Of course, considering the family she was about to marry into, maybe he did her a favor. But I know she doesn't see it that way."

"What are you really asking, Ryan?"

"I know her, Victor. As you know, I know her VERY well."

Victor winced at the meaning behind his words.

"It wasn't hard to make her give up Baldwin and her other daughter. She hurt that little girl for Kevin. What else could Kevin get her to do?"

"That was YOU, Ryan. You broke up her family, you lied to her, used her, manipulated her and did everything in your power to destroy her to get to Kevin." Victor's anger got the better of him and he began to scream at Ryan. "You KNEW she would choose Kevin over Scott. So you played on that. You played on all the damage Kevin had done to her, and you used how deeply she loves him to hurt her. So who in the hell do you think you are to suggest Kevin would hurt her now?"

Ryan didn't answer.

"Come on, Ryan, this is simple. What is it about Lucy that the two of you couldn't get enough of hurting her?" Completely forgetting whom he was talking to, Victor continued to scream at him. "You're mother was a monster and I was a coward. But that doesn't excuse how you've treated Lucy!" Mary approached Victor, and he stared at her for a moment before continuing quietly. "Or is that the reason you've both hurt her so much? She's the exact opposite of the coward or the monster. She loves unconditionally from her soul and she'd stand up to anything to protect someone she loves. Do either of you understand that? God knows Melanie and I didn't teach either of you anything about that." Reaching for Mary's hand, Victor laughed, but there was a deep sadness to it mixed with tears. "It took me too many years to realize what it means to be in love with a wonderful woman. And how to work to be worthy of what it brings to your life. I treasure that. And I can't tell you how much it hurts me to see that all either of you have learned is how to use how deeply Lucy feels to hurt her."

For a few seconds after Victor stopped speaking, Ryan was silent. When he finally spoke again, his voice was a strained whisper. "You're right about her being the opposite, Victor. You're right about both of us using the fact that she can forgive anything when she loves someone. I know what Kevin did to her. I know because I used it against her. But what's going to stop Kevin from doing it again? I know he didn't APPROVE of her coming to see me. How did he make her pay, Victor? And what is it going to do to those girls?"

"It won't do anything to the girls, that much I can promise you, Ryan." Victor sighed. "He's just as worried about the effect you're going to have on the girls as you are about the effect he's going to have on them." Before Ryan could answer, Victor continued. "And I'm worried about the effect BOTH of you are going to have on Lucy."

"Who appointed you her protector?" Ryan's voice was snide.

"She did." Victor's answer was very matter of fact. "When she included me in her life and loved me no matter what either of you did to her."

"Wow." Ryan whistled. "Are you really capable of loving her?"

"I can't explain it to you, Ryan. You're mind is already made up concerning what I'm capable of and not capable of. For her sake she's very lucky she's not really my daughter, no one knows that better then you. And I believe it's her father's loss that he never knew her. So we fit into each other's lives, and I'm grateful for that. That's all I can say."

Ryan was so quiet that Victor began to wonder if he'd hung up the phone. Finally he answered Victor in a whisper. "The three most detached men on the planet and she managed to get to all of us, huh. Tell me something, would you protect her from Kevin the way you're determined to protect her from me?"

"Yes." Victor didn't hesitate.

"I guess that's all that matters, right?" Before Victor had a second to think about what he said, he continued. "Tell Kevin I want to see him."

The line went dead in Victor's hand and he looked at Mary. "This is either going to end quickly or get very messy."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Ryan wants to see Kevin. Will they put a stop to this mess, or will they challenge each other?"

"Victor, the last thing Lucy, Victoria, or Marissa need is those two fighting over them like two dogs over a bone."

"I know that. But if they both manage to keep in mind what's important it might work out." Shrugging, Victor pulled Mary to him and hugged her. "I meant every word I said to him about loving a good woman, you know."

"I know. And I do love you." She returned his hug.

"I'm going to wait to hear from one of them before I talk to Kevin."

"I guess that means we have some time to ourselves before we get involved again." Smiling, Mary kissed Victor softly.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Kevin was beginning to question how fit he was to raise Marissa himself. The baby wouldn't stop crying no matter what he did. He'd been rocking or walking with her in his arms for just under an hour and she showed no sign of stopping.

"I'll take a turn." Lucy appeared in the doorway. "Victoria is asleep."

"You know, you read about babies doing this on occasion, but it's a whole different story when it's YOUR baby."

"I know." Smiling at him, Lucy reached for Marissa and rocked her gently as she walked. "You look tired, Doc. Why don't you get some sleep?"

"What about you?"

"I think I did sleep a bit when you brought her out here." Lucy shifted Marissa to a better position on her shoulder. "Hopefully she'll get too tired to keep going soon."

"We can hope, right?" As they laughed, the sound of Victoria crying carried out of the bedroom.

They both moaned and Kevin headed for the bedroom.

Holding her daughter, Lucy walked around the living room, rocking her gently as she did. Kevin had put a soft jazz tune on the CD player, and Lucy laughed at the thought of him trying to turn them on to jazz this early. "I don't know, Marissa. What's your Daddy going to do when he realizes that for the next few years your idea of great music is Sesame Street?" Laughing at what she pictured his expression was going to be, Lucy moved to the window.

The CD ended and Lucy realized that she'd listened to the entire thing. And at some point during the last piece, Marissa had finally fallen asleep in her arms. Carrying her into the bedroom, Lucy stopped when she saw Kevin.  
He'd fallen asleep on the bed with Victoria beside him blocked by pillows. Quietly, Lucy put both girls in their cribs and moved to the other side of the bed.

The instant he felt her against him he rolled over and put his arm around her. "Lucy?"

The way he mumbled her name, she knew he wasn't quite awake. "Yeah." She snuggled closer and felt him softly kiss the side of her head.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear and she held his arm with her own.  
Smiling to herself, Lucy moved closer and closed her eyes.


	13. Part 13

"We came as soon as we could, Lucy. What's wrong?" Victor looked around as if expecting some sort of emergency.

"Kevin went to see Ryan."

"I know." He turned to her and stopped. "What are you planning, Lucy?"

"I'm going to Ferncliff."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, Ryan wanted to see Kevin." Moving closer, Victor tried to figure out what was going on in her mind.

"I don't think the two of them in the same room alone at this point is a good idea, Victor. You never saw them before. They really wanted to kill each other. Ryan pushes Kevin's buttons as well as he pushes mine. But he puts Kevin in a much darker place." Grabbing her purse, she passed Victor and Mary. "I just don't see this turning out well. They've been fed, changed, and they should sleep for another half hour or so. There are bottles already in the fridge if I don't get back in time."

Before Victor could voice another objection, she was out the door.

Mary turned to Victor. "Will she make things better or worse?"

In spite of the situation, Victor smiled. "One never knows with Lucy. That's part of her charm."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Ryan allowed the guard to lead him to the Visitor's room and he smiled when he saw Kevin waiting for him.

As soon as the guard saw the two of them facing each other, he shook his head. "I'd heard there were two of you."

"You can leave the room." Kevin glared at him.

"No way. Why is it that everyone that comes to see him forgets what he is?" He turned to Ryan. "I thought you'd managed to delude Mommy because you'd slipped her a good one."

At the same time, Ryan and Kevin stood and glared at the guard.

"That's enough!"

"Back off!" Ryan's words overlapped Kevin's and the guard looked at them both for a moment.

"Wow. I guess the lady really got around, huh."

Both of them tried to advance on him. The chains on Ryan's arms prevented him from moving away from his chair, but Kevin took a few steps towards him.

"Don't even think it." The guard glared at Kevin, who didn't falter.

"The lady is OFF LIMITS to your perversion. Do we have an understanding?" His eyes met the guard's with a calm, angry glare.

"Whatever you say, man." But the guard didn't back down.

"That's DOCTOR COLLINS to you. Now, get the chains off of him and GET OUT." Kevin was speaking very slowly and the last two words were definitely not a suggestion.

"Hey, it's your neck. He likes to break them, you know." Shrugging, the guard moved to Ryan. "Sit down."

Holding his arms up for the guard to release him, Ryan sat.

"I can't leave the room with him free." Releasing the chains, the guard backed up a few feet. "Rules."

"Rules also include keeping your personal comments to yourself, and not interfering in the patient's lives. Two rules you seem to have a problem following." Kevin seemed to be having a hard time restraining himself, and Ryan was curious to see what was going to happen.

The guard didn't answer and Ryan smiled at Kevin. "He really doesn't like being handled, and the only person I've seen handle him better then you is Lucy."

"Enough, Chamberlain." The guard snapped at him, and Kevin realized Ryan was right.

"I'm not a patient, here, I happen to be a doctor that does hold courtesy privileges. So if you want to call this a patient consultation to cover your ass, by all means, feel free. As a matter of fact, go write it down. Slowly." Kevin moved back to the chair and waited.

"You can call yourself anything you want. That still does not give you any authority over me. My first obligation is safety."

"From where I've been standing, all I see you doing is antagonizing. The patient AND the doctor." Kevin refused to back down and his voice showed how angry he was becoming. "Now do you leave on your own, or do I call your supervisor?"

"Sounds to me like YOU'RE the one that's forgetting who you're dealing with." Ryan muttered at the guard.

"That's enough out of you, Chamberlain!" The guard turned to Ryan and glared.

"Don't help, Ryan." Kevin sighed inwardly.

"You know me, Kev. I have to rub it in. Can't help myself." Still smiling, Ryan shrugged.

"Do you ever try?" Kevin shook his head. "I'm not getting involved in this. I have the right to speak to my brother in private."

"I'll be right outside."

"Great." Ryan shrugged. "Eavesdropping in the name of security."

After the security guard left, Ryan smiled at Kevin. "We still make a pretty good team."

Ignoring him, Kevin sat down and sighed. "You called this meeting, Ryan. What's on your mind?"

"Wow, you haven't cared what's on my mind in years. I guess you're really worried about this, huh."

Kevin's reply was to stare at him.

"I guess you weren't too thrilled to find out Lucy was here, right?"

Not faltering, Kevin realized that lying about that was ridiculous. "I didn't think it was the wisest choice she could have made."

"Diplomatic." Ryan shook his head. "I don't know, call me crazy, which most people do, you know, but I seriously doubt you were that diplomatic with her."

"We talked about it."

"After you threw a total fit at her, right?"

Kevin's expression told him he was right. Shaking his head, Ryan sighed. "Why does she put up with you?"

"Why am I here?"

"Pushy, pushy." Ryan laughed. "You sure like to rehash everything she's ever done, but when the spotlight is on you..... Wow. Talk about evasion. Physician, heal thyself."

"That doesn't work well in our family, does it." Kevin shrugged.

"I want to know what you're going to do to them."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean what happens to them if they do something you don't like? You've already established what will happen to Lucy the next time she pisses you off."

"My relationship with Lucy is not your concern-"

"You don't think so?" Ryan's voice rose. "I think who is going to raise MY daughters is my concern. You and Victor have Lucy so snowed that she really believes that you're all going to be one big happy family. If there was one family on the planet that does NOT deserve to try to raise children, it's this one."

"This family does include you."

Ryan laughed. "That had to hurt. But you're right. I'm sure you heard the highlights of my conversation with Lucy. She's right about what people would do to them because they're mine." Growing serious, Ryan looked at Kevin. "But what makes you think they'd be better off with you? I know why Lucy thinks so. She's completely blinded by how much she loves you. I think she needs to put them first."

"That means?"

"That probably means keeping both of us as far away from them as possible." Shrugging, Ryan sighed. "I mean, we can safely say we failed the 'heredity versus environment' study, right? What kind of chance do they have to begin with, considering their gene pool?"

Shocked, Kevin waited for him to continue.

"Our entire family is a study in psychosis of one nature or another. And now there are two beautiful little girls who have to live with that. There is a chance for something good to come out of this, but how do we make it happen, Kevin? How do we make sure they don't end up like we did?"

For a moment, Kevin was too stunned to reply. Finally he leaned closer to Ryan and spoke quietly. "I don't know what effect their genetic disposition is going to have on them, Ryan. But we both know that they're not going to have the life either of us did. Lucy would die herself before she would let anyone hurt them, and-"

"We all know Lucy isn't anything like Mommy Dearest, but we are who we are, Kevin. What they made us."

"That's not true." Neither man had heard her enter, and they both jumped and turned to face Lucy.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

Mary rocked Marissa and watched Victor as he sat on the floor with Victoria. He was waving a stuffed animal in front of her and her eyes were tracking it.

"Developmentally, they're right where they should be." His voice sounded so serious, Mary couldn't help but laugh.

"I've been reading up on the subject." Victor sounded so much like he wanted to defend his observation, Mary laughed harder. "Did I miss something?"

"They're babies, Victor. I know you love to study and read, but when you're dealing with babies, it's not always best to have a scholarly approach."

As Victor looked at Mary, Victoria reached for the animal and got a grip on it as he held it. Surprised, Victor turned back to the baby. "Let's see something."

Gently, he moved the animal a bit and Victoria responded by using her other hand to hold the animal. "Look, Mary! She can comprehend the fact that using both of her hands will give her more power to hold it!"

Unable to stop herself, Mary laughed harder. "Wait until she's two and understands the power of both hands smacking and screaming at the top of her lungs."

"The development of their ID's. I'm looking forward to that stage." He smiled at her.

"I'll remind you of that when they're both stomping their feet and throwing their Cheerios." Still laughing, Mary moved to the floor beside him. "Victor, babies don't always follow a developmental schedule. All the books and websites you can find won't prepare you for the real thing."

As if to test a theory, Victor pulled the animal away from Victoria and waved it in front of Marissa. Victoria immediately began to scream and Marissa reached for the animal, but her fist didn't close around it. A concerned look crossed Victor's face and he tried to gently urge Marissa to hold the animal. Victoria screamed louder and he looked back at her. "This is absolutely fascinating. Victoria seems to understand the concept of sibling rivalry already. But why isn't Marissa using her motor skills to hold the animal?"

Shaking her head, Mary replaced the animal with her finger, which Marissa immediately gripped tightly. "Give that baby back her toy, Victor."

She sounded so stern, Victor immediately moved the animal back to Victoria, who gripped it and allowed her cries to die down to small whimpers. "The only one that needs to get a grasp of a concept around here is YOU." Her voice was soft, but she meant what she was saying.

A hurt expression crossed his face and Mary laughed again. "Where babies are concerned, there IS no concept. They want what they want. It's that simple and it's NOT some theory you can read on the internet and try to prove."

"Impulses." Victor nodded.

"Okay, if you insist on labeling it, I guess you could call it that. Babies are all about impulses. It's up to us to teach them impulse control."

Now Victor stared at both babies and sighed. "I was not very good at that the first time, maybe you and Lucy should handle that."

"Victor," Now Mary sighed. "You missed out on this with Ryan and Kevin, didn't you."

"You mean I chose to ignore it. I was so busy with my work that I missed everything that was happening. I chose to believe that they were in good hands with their mother."

"You had no way of knowing what was going on, Victor." Mary put Marissa on the floor next to her sister and took Victor's hand. "We all do the best we can. It's all we can do. I chose to ignore the problems Frank and Joe's father had. He was my husband, and to me that meant through everything. Including his alcoholic benders and the fact that he'd rather smack either of our sons then talk to them." Tears came to her eyes and she squeezed his hand. "I know that if either of us had the chance to do it over, we'd do it a lot differently. But we don't. All we can do is move forward. You and Kevin are very close. He really loves you, and I don't believe for one minute he blames you for everything that happened."

"Maybe he should, Mary. Ryan does."

"Ryan wants a scapegoat." Her tone was so sharp, Victor moved closer and squeezed her hand.

The girls began to fuss, and Mary lifted Marissa in her arms, gesturing to Victor to do the same with Victoria. "What happened over 25 years ago is beyond anyone's control to fix or change. Lucy is NOT a child molester, and Kevin is NOT a... a drunk."

Victor stared at her and realized that, even after all these years, Mary still had a hard time admitting it. Forcing a smile, he nodded. "You're right. And we can make sure that the only time they even hear about any of this is when they ask about their family history."

"I would NOT want to be the one to have that conversation with them. Why should they know any of that?" Mary bounced Marissa gently.

"Mary, as well as you know Lucy, do you think for one minute she'd be willing to tell them their family is a fairytale?"

"No, you're right. She and Kevin will tell them the truth."

"Well, most of it." Victor sighed. "I hope with all my heart they can tell them that Kevin is their father."

"That's up to them. Hopefully something good will come out of them being at Ferncliff." Smiling, Mary nudged Victor. "If nothing else, I hope we can help them plan a BIG wedding shortly."

"I think Lucy will come around shortly." His voice dropped to a whisper. "She can't help herself."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Lucy! Glad you could join us!" Ryan smiled. "Since you ARE the topic of conversation."

"Nice of you to want me IN the room when you're talking about me." Her voice carried the sarcasm she felt and she moved closer to the table. "But I'm tired of rehashing the past. Get over it, Ryan."

Standing, Ryan moved towards Lucy. Kevin stood, but Lucy pushed him back gently and moved to face Ryan.

"That's easy for YOU to say. YOU'RE not in here. YOU'RE not about to lose your own children."

"I'M not the one that can't control the urge to kill people that piss me off!"

"Lucy," Feeling that Lucy was being way too overconfident where Ryan was concerned, Kevin reached for her hand to pull her away.

She resisted, and Ryan advanced on her. "You better be glad I CAN control that impulse, Lucy. You're still here, aren't you?"

Conceding the point, Lucy shrugged. "I'm sure I made you want to kill me. I have the effect on people, sometimes. But usually it takes being married to me to make them pissed off enough to actually try."

Suddenly Ryan began to laugh. "Well, at least you have a pretty good grasp of who you are, Luce."

Kevin was still trying to figure out what had just happened before his eyes. Lucy had thrown several digs at Ryan, and all he did was laugh. He was surprised that he hadn't had to pull Ryan off of her.

Sitting on the end of the table, Lucy studied Ryan. "This meeting was your idea, Ryan. Why are we here?"

"Well, Kevin's here because I called him. You're here because... actually, I'm not sure why you're here." Ryan snapped is fingers. "Maybe you've reconsidered your choice in brothers?"

Kevin started to stand, but Lucy grabbed his arm. "Don't. He's just pushing your buttons." Turning to Ryan, Lucy sighed. "I'm not here to play with you. I'm not here to give you ammunition to mess with Kevin. I'm here because we need to resolve this once and for all."

"And we all know how you want to resolve this, Lucy. You want happily ever after with Kevin." Standing, Ryan moved to face her. "Why?"

"What do you mean?" Lucy stared at him.

"I mean why? I know how much you love him. I made you prove it, remember?" Glaring at her, Ryan stepped closer. "You still don't really comprehend the whole Kevin."

"Yes, I do. I'm right where I want to be. Marissa and Victoria are right where they belong."

"If you comprehended him so well, why was it so easy for me to get you into MY bed?"

Kevin stood, but Lucy beat him to it. Putting her hand on Ryan's chest, she pushed him back. Ryan grabbed her arm, but she slid off the table to her feet and tried to shove him away from her. "What is it with you, Ryan? When we're alone, you're actually almost human. When Kevin's around, you get on this roll where you have to be an obnoxious jerk! Why?!" Her hands gripped his shirt and she glared into his eyes.

"Come on, Lucy. All that talk about soul mates and how he knows you better then you know yourself? Guess you don't know him as well as you think you do, or you wouldn't have been screaming his name while you were screwing me!"  
Unable to take anymore of his attack, Lucy slapped Ryan's face as hard as she could. Instantly Ryan's face took on a look of rage and he advanced on her.

Grabbing her arm, Kevin pulled her away from Ryan and tried to get in front of her. Lucy struggled against him and began to scream at Ryan. "Go ahead! Remind me why I hated you! Remind me that you're such a monster that you shouldn't be anywhere near MY babies! Come on, Ryan! Show me who you REALLY are! You're good, Ryan. I forgot who you really are for a while, there. SHOW ME!"

The door opened and the guard entered the room, but neither of them noticed.

"Enough, Lucy! Stop challenging him to kill you!" Kevin held her against him.

"I'M NOT GOING TO HURT HER!" Ryan backed away a bit.

Moving between them, the guard stared at Kevin. "Talk about antagonizing the patients." He looked at Lucy and realized who she was. "Oh, no wonder."

Stopping, Lucy looked at him. "You are the last thing we need in here right now."

"Looks to me like YOU'RE the one that nobody needs around here." The guard gestured towards the door. "Why don't we step outside and give the patient a chance to calm down."

"He's calm. AREN'T you, Ryan." Lucy moved away from Kevin and looked at Ryan. "He's going to stop pushing Kevin's buttons, and we're going to talk, right?" She turned back to the guard. "You can go back outside and do whatever it is you do."

"Eavesdrop?" Ryan smiled as he suggested it.

The guard had enough of being told what to do. "Seems to me that when the three of you end up in the same room, NONE of you can stay calm. Why is that?"

All three of them stopped and looked at each other, but no one offered an answer. From the looks on their faces, the guard realized he was on to something.

"Wouldn't have anything to do with the kids you brought with you the last time, would it?" The guard looked at Lucy, who glared back at him.

"Get out." Kevin moved closer to Lucy.

"I told you they're off limits to you." Ryan also moved closer to Lucy.

Watching their reactions, the guard smiled at them. "This is great. Who's antagonizing who, here? I should have seen this coming a mile away. Guess his doctor should be here for this." The guard gestured at Ryan. "But from what I've found out about both of you, I'd guess that SHE'S the one that really needs him." He looked at Lucy and laughed. When Lucy's eyes dropped, Kevin and Ryan moved closer to the guard. Suddenly he put it together and it shocked him. "You really don't know, do you."

"Know what?" Lucy sighed, not really wanting to play a guessing game.

"You don't know if your kids are the next generation of stalkers or killers-" His hands gestured to Kevin and Ryan, but he didn't get a chance to finish the thought. In the same second, Kevin and Ryan moved towards him.  
Ryan grabbed the guard by the neck and Kevin shoved him into the wall. The guard tried to fight back, but it only made Kevin and Ryan angrier. Lucy screamed at the two of them to stop, but they both ignored her. While Ryan held him, Kevin punched him. After only a few seconds, Ryan was holding an unconscious man by the throat.

"RYAN!" Lucy grabbed both of them by the arm and pulled them back. "LET GO OF HIM BEFORE YOU KILL HIM!"

Finally Ryan dropped him to the ground and they both moved back.

"This is great, just great! For the first time in 30 years, you two decide to work together, and it has to be ATTEMPTED MURDER?" Lucy shook her head. "Now what the hell are we going to do?"

"Finish the job and hide the body?" Ryan smiled at her.

"You think this is funny?" Almost screaming, Lucy advanced on Ryan, who backed away from her. "This is exactly what I was talking about. He was taking out who you are on them! Do you FINALLY get that?"

Stopping, Ryan looked at Lucy. "Yeah, Luce, I get it. But half that comment was directed at KEVIN! So you tell me what makes him so much better?"

"You want the truth, Ryan? I mean you aren't going to like it." When Ryan continued to stare silently at her, she continued. "HE got his life back together, Ryan. He didn't give up and spend the rest of his life BLAMING Melanie and Victor for what happened to him."

"You're treading a line, Lucy." It was a very bad point to make on Ryan, and his face showed it.

Not only did Lucy ignore his mood, she stepped closer and glared into his eyes. "You asked me!" The guard stirred on the floor, and Lucy began to pace. "Right now we have to figure out what we're going to do about him."

"Kevin won't have his life together when this jerk gets done with him." Ryan muttered.

"I don't believe this. This was supposed to be about finding a solution, not ending up in jail!" Moving between the two men, Lucy glared at both of them. "He's a low paid, self important jerk on a power trip. He LOVED pushing your buttons! And you two GENIUSES let him!" On a full blown rant, Lucy went from one to the other while they both watched her. "Ryan, you see him everyday, you should KNOW what he is. YOU give him exactly what he needs to jerk your chain! And YOU!" Lucy advanced on Kevin. "This whole thing was about CONVINCING people that I'd slept with both of you! He bought it, so you try to kill him? What IS it with the two of you? Have you both completely lost your minds?" As soon as she said it, she stopped and looked at the two of them.

"That was a completely rhetorical question." Ryan shrugged and looked at Kevin.

"Understatement of the obvious." Kevin agreed and they all looked at each other for a second, then, unable to ignore the irony of her statement, they all three began to laugh.

The guard rolled over and moaned. Ryan and Kevin became silent, but Lucy went from laughing to crying and put her hand over her face. "What are we going to do?"

Kevin moved to Lucy and put his arms around her. Ryan watched them for a moment before gripping Kevin's arm. "You EVER dump on her or those babies, I'll find a way to hunt you down, Kevin." Ryan's eyes filled with tears and he touched Lucy's face gently. "This isn't for HIM. You know that, right?"

Confused, Lucy stared at him.

His fingers gently gripped her jaw and he forced her to look in his eyes. "Don't you EVER let him or Victor hurt them."

Before Kevin or Lucy could say anything, Ryan moved to the guard and nudged him with his foot. "Don't bother calling for help, you hear me? The next time you say one word about those babies, KEVIN won't be around to protect you. I'll kill you."

Lucy and Kevin stared at each other for a moment, then Ryan grabbed Kevin's arm again. "Help him up. And keep him away from me."

Still not entirely sure what was happening right in front of him, Kevin grabbed the guard and helped him to his feet.

Jerking his arm free of Kevin, the guard backed towards the door and fumbled with his keys. "You're going to solitary, Chamberlain. It will be a long time before you're going to see your brother, you lover, or your kids again." He pointed to Kevin. "You're going to jail, DOCTOR COLLINS."

Kevin was still confused, but Lucy advanced on the guard. "For what? Saving your worthless ass from Ryan?" She turned to Kevin. "Next time let Ryan finish the job."

"I offered." Ryan shrugged.

"All three of you are nuts, you know that?" After finally finding the correct key, the guard let himself out and locked the door behind him.

For a moment, all three of them were silent.

"What's going to happen to you?" Lucy's voice was quiet as she moved to Ryan.

"What can they do? Arrest me?" He smiled. "Solitary for a few days. The security can't get much heavier. I think it will be a while before I can be out of my room without chains, but the only time they set me loose was when you were here, anyway."

Nodding, Lucy turned to Kevin. "Can you do something about him?" Lucy gestured towards the door, indicating the guard.

"I can talk to the administrator. He really shouldn't be allowed access to the patients. I've never defended Ryan before, so it should be believable." Kevin looked at Ryan. "I'm not sure what to say at this moment."

Ryan glared at him. "Don't say anything. This has NOTHING to do with you. This has to do with the fact that those two girls need a father. And for some reason, Lucy has decided that it's going to be you. I don't want them to turn out like us, and visiting both of us behind bars is NOT the way to begin to make that happen."

"What else do you want, Ryan?" Knowing there was more, Lucy closer to Ryan.

"I want to see them, Luce. That's all." Taking a breath, he tried to smile at her. "Show them what Uncle Ryan turned out to be and where they DON'T want to be 30 years from now."

"That's it? You're really going to....." Beginning to cry, Lucy couldn't believe what Ryan was saying to her.

"I'm not giving them up completely, Luce, so don't get your hopes up. I'm not going to press for the RFLP UNLESS you decide to cut me out."

"Strings." Speaking softly, Lucy stared at him.

"You know it. We all know the truth. Whether or not they ever find out is up to you."

Sitting back down on the end of the table, Lucy looked at him. "Spell it out for me, Ryan. What are the conditions?"

"I want to be included. That's all. I want to know what they look like, what they sound like. I'd like to see them once in a while."

Glancing at Kevin for a moment, Lucy nodded. "I can live with that."

Voices carried into the room from the hallway. Leaning closer to Lucy, Ryan deliberately whispered loud enough for Kevin to hear him. "Send me a wedding picture. But cut him out of it, gotta have something to think about on those lonely nights."

Lucy rolled her eyes, but Kevin glared at him.

The door opened and several orderlies entered with two security guards. One of them stopped. "Step away from him."

Lucy hesitated, but Ryan stepped back from her and sat in the chair. Immediately they approached him and put the chains back on his arms.

As they led Ryan out, one of the orderlies turned to Kevin and Lucy. "They want the two of you down in administration."

Nodding, Lucy took Kevin's hand and walked into the hallway.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

* * *

"Just like that?" Mary stared at Lucy and Kevin. "He just admitted he did it and let the two of you leave?"

"No, not just like that." Lucy shook her head. "He's going to hold the RFLP test over our heads. But as long as we include him in their lives, he won't do anything."

"What about the guard?" Victor looked at Kevin.

"He's fine." Shrugging, Kevin leaned back on the sofa next to Lucy. "We told the administrator what he had to say, and then we convinced him that the guard just confused the two of us. Ryan admitted he was the one that punched him, so it wasn't that difficult to convince anybody he was wrong."

"And you should have heard Doc, here." Smiling, Lucy squeezed his hand. "After the administrator gets done with that guard, he'll be lucky if he gets to stand guard over trash cans."

"I merely informed the administrator what his guard likes to do to the patients. And their visitors." Kevin tried to sound nonchalant, but Lucy began to laugh.

"The last thing he wanted was a slander suit against an employee of the hospital. Not to mention the possible repercussions of antagonizing the patients." Lucy grinned. "It was so much fun to watch him handle this idiot paper pusher."

"No better then the way you handle Ryan." He looked at Victor. "The more he tried to get to her, and me, the more she fought back." No longer smiling, Kevin pulled her hand to his face. "You really scared me a few times. The way you kept getting in his face and pushing his buttons, I was afraid he was going to hurt you."

"He wouldn't have, I know that."

"Why is it that you STILL think you can handle any man, Lucy?!" His voice rose and Lucy turned to face him with an angry expression on her face.

"I DID handle him, Doc! I know it's not ME, it's Marissa and Victoria. He won't hurt me because of them."

"That doesn't mean you'll get away with poking him with a stick. I thought you were the one that didn't think pissing him off was the answer. Forgive me if I'm missing something, but you didn't think SLAPPING him would piss him off?"

"You slapped him?" Victor stared at Lucy as is she'd lost her mind.

"Well," Shrugging, Lucy glanced at Kevin before continuing. "he pissed me off. It was like being in the room with a different man. Ever since I gave birth to them, he's been concerned and worried about them. Throw Kevin in the room with him and it's like a complete turnaround. Back to the Ryan that we all know and despise. And I'd heard enough."

"And you got away with slapping him?" Victor was still having a hard time with the thought. "You really took a chance with him, Lucy."

"No, to be honest, I just lost my temper. I told you that Ryan and I could push each other's buttons, but he was using me to really jerk Kevin's chain."

"Do you really think that he'll let the birth certificate stand?" Mary watched Lucy think about it.

"The guard proved my point. They made him pay for it, but he took a serious shot at the twins about following in their father's footsteps. Really shook him up and made him understand what I said to him." Shrugging, Lucy turned to Kevin. "I'm not fooling myself into thinking this will ever be over. But as long as we keep in touch with him, I think he'll keep what he knows to himself."

"He knows we don't have a choice."

"Doc, he knows we want to protect them." Lucy stood and began to pace. "He made it clear that this is for them." She turned to Victor. "He threatened what he'd do to Kevin if he ever hurt them. So, yes, I do believe that he'll let them keep Kevin's name."

"I'm so glad." Moving to Lucy, Mary hugged her. As Victor moved to Kevin to ask him a few more questions, Mary whispered to Lucy. "And when is YOUR name going to be Collins?"

"Mary!" Lucy grinned and shook her head. "Do you ever stop?"

"Do you?" Glancing at Kevin and Victor, Mary kept her voice down. "Has he mentioned it again?"

Before Lucy could answer, one of the girls began to cry in their bassinettes. As Lucy smiled and moved away, Mary muttered at her. "Momentary reprieve, Lucy."

Picking up Victoria, Lucy smiled at Mary.


End file.
